Don Woods

A young lady called Joann Randles has made a documentary film about the life of wrestler Adrian Street which will be shown at a major film festival in Cardiff next month....it is called "You May Be Pretty But I Am Beautiful" and traces the life of this larger than life character from his humble beginnings working in Welsh coal mine.....to his rise to fame as a world champion wrestler........I am featured in the film as I wrote and produced two albums of wrestling songs for him....this is my story.

A young lady called Joann Randles has made a documentary film about the life of wrestler Adrian Street which will be shown at a major film festival in Cardiff next month....it is called "You May Be Pretty But I Am Beautiful" and traces the life of this larger than life character from his humble beginnings working in Welsh coal mine.....to his rise to fame as a world champion wrestler........I am featured in the film as I wrote and produced two albums of wrestling songs for him....this is my story.

A young lady called Joann Randles has made a documentary film about the life of wrestler Adrian Street which will be shown at a major film festival in Cardiff next month....it is called "You May Be Pretty But I Am Beautiful" and traces the life of this larger than life character from his humble beginnings working in Welsh coal mine.....to his rise to fame as a world champion wrestler........I am featured in the film as I wrote and produced two albums of wrestling songs for him....this is my story.

We nearly had another moon landing....but not quite....the space ship got all the way but crash landed...close but no cigar....and we have been told the mission was a lot cheaper than previous attempts...this one was done "on a shoestring" and only cost 77 million pounds....which is some shoestring....I have always wondered what the point of space travel is....there is nothing there ....perhaps we should sort out things on THIS planet first.....or get a loan from the Amazon guy's missus with her 27 billion divorce settlement. 2.And speaking of major spending the Houses of Parliament needs refurbishing....this will cost 4 BILLION....it would be cheaper to send the building into space (and a better idea)...4 billion? I would like to see the breakdown of that amount .....apparently there are hundreds of rooms and offices etc....and I wonder why....they can't even run the country from ONE room.....but there could be some light at the end of the tunnel...Nigel Farage is forming a new party...The Brexit Party.....and I,for one,will be voting for him as he HAS to be an improvement on the shower we have at the moment.....perhaps the MPs could make a donation towards the refurbishment out of their expenses.....some hope!! 3.As we know...comedy has lost it's way - and this according to one of our comedians is because of a certain section of the community regarding some jokes as being racist or sexist when in fact they are just jokes.....if you can only crack gags about white hetro sexual males there's not a lot of hope......again it's a case of pandering to the minority who have had a sense of humour by-pass....people's idea of humour naturally differs especially between men and women....but what always puzzles me is how stadium audiences can be helpless with laughter at some of the modern comedians and comediennes with their "observational" comedy which isn't slightly funny.....when you are a certain age and remember when comedy was actually funny it is hard to take these days. 4.Our local newspaper has published some of the salaries of council officials which has raised a few eyebrows....some around the 2 hundred grand a year mark.....I don't mind anyone making money but I do object to MY rates helping to feather their nests...especially when I keep going down potholes in the road because the council hasn't got the money to repair them....or so we are told....I often wonder what these "top" officials actually DO....they are obviously "responsible" for a lot of things but what do they DO?....if they weren't there would it make any difference?.....the Chief Constable for example has responsibilities but he isn't out on the streets dealing with neanderthals and he is on a lot more than those who do.......if he wasn't there the job would still get done.....or am I over simplifying things. 5.I recently watched a brilliant documentary on The Big Three who were a top group in Liverpool back in the sixties....possibly one of the first hard rock bands and were signed up by Epstein who sacked them because they wouldn't conform....the story is so interesting and quite moving in parts as there is only one still alive....Brian Grifiths.....at the time they were as big as The Beatles but because of their antics they sadly didn't last......I always thought they were born too early......had they began in the eighties they would have rocked the world....the song this week is one I wrote way back in the day and is a tribute to the bands who put Liverpool on the music map...."Merseybeat Memories"

Some schools in Birmingham want to teach 4 year olds about "life" including same sex relationships....we are talking about 4 year olds here...who are confused enough without being bombarded with this sort of thing....at that age their brains are like sponges and they take everything in... they are told what religion they are and that everyone else beliefs are wrong etc....in my opinion at that age they should be taught arithmetic and how to read and write....let them be kids.....they certainly don't need to know about sex until they are in secondary school when they can make their own minds up...and it is confusing enough then...another sad situation caused by know nothing so called grown ups. 2.I've been doing a bit of DIY lately...a very rare occurrence ... and have come across some modern packaging....I bought a pair of scissors which were contained in clear moulded plastic....which you need scissors to get into....or a Swiss army knife...similarly I bought some washers...by the time I had got through the packaging they had gone in all directions....surely with todays technology packaging could be made easier to penetrate....not to mention the risk of losing a finger during the process...even some bread has a small tag which can only be cut with a chainsaw.....when you get to a certain age patience is one of the things which goes out of the window...so why can't these manufacturers realise this? 3.Last weekend we were treated to The Grand National...AND....the Oxford and Cambridge boatrace....and sport does not get any more boring....unless you are interested in watching some of your money go down the drain I fail to see the point of horse racing....an as for the boatrace WHO CARES?....the only one's who are remotely interested are the brainboxes who go to the two universities....I have played many sports at club level over the years so I have been a participant rather than a spectator and that could be my problem.......I think football is losing its way....when teams start leaving the field because of racist chants I think it's time for these "macho" highly paid sportsmen to have a reality check....racist chants are totally unnecessary but football needs to make allowances for idiots calling them names because they are out there and are paying their wages......I have lost interest in most sports. 4.Now if you want to drive an old car through London you have to pay £12.50....because this will save the planet....what a pile of absolute tripe....cars will still drive through the city and emit the same fumes so nothing will change except some will have to pay......it aint saving the planet IT'S A FINE!! for doing nothing and as usual raking money out of us...and this is going to spread to other cities...especially when they realise they can get money for nothing....this sort of crap is an insult to my intelligence. And here's a sad situation....Jeff Bezos...who is the richest man in the world...has made a record divorce settlement with his missus....27 BILLION pounds......so she should be comfortable for a few years.....just to put that amount into context.....27 billion would give EVERY human being on the planet £4.......EVERY human being.....from ONE person......and if you put 27 billion pound coins side by side the line would go round the globe 14 times.....and if you stood them end to end upwards the line would reach the moon and back....this is how ridiculous the world is.......one person could solve all the problems....and there are thousands of billionaires ....makes you think eh? 5.And finally the song this week is a tribute to where I was born and bred....the Wirral Peninsula.....I feel privileged to live in this wonderful corner of the world and I have made several videos extolling its virtues....this song is taken from one of them....it is entitled Wirral Wonderland

It is difficult to find a drama on T.V. which doesn't involve graphic displays of shootings and stabbings which are totally unnecessary...and they all begin with "you might find some of the violent scenes disturbing".....SO WHY HAVE THEM?.....if the story MUST have violent killings do we need to see it with the "cleverly" faked stab wounds and blood everywhere.....I started to watch a series called MotherFatherSon starring Richard Gere and the first episode showed an operation where they cut off the top of a blokes head in hospital...very clever from the make up team...if you are not having your tea...then there is a series called "The Following" where there are endless stabbings with all the gore.....not to mention "24" with Kiefer Sutherland shooting everyone is sight....and we wonder why knife crime is on the increase....this sort of stuff simply puts ideas into brainless heads. We are now going to have multi gender toilets in public places....because as you know we have many different genders nowadays....not to mention those who are "gender fluid" who haven't quite made up their minds (do I take my rugby kit to school...or do I take my tu tu to ballet lessons?).....at the moment we do have single toilets in cafes where you go in and lock the door....but the latest ones will be walk in ones for all genders.....I wonder how long it will be before some bloke staggers in bouncing off the walls after 12 pints to be greeted by a high pitched scream and to eventually sober up to find himself in court after being accused by some mentally scarred female of sexual harassment? The latest question is "should bicycles have number plates?"......apparently ALL cyclists are criminals....they ride past and steal mobile phones and handbags etc....so number plates are the answer.....whoever comes up with these ideas definitely needs help...as if some yob is going to register his bike which he has probably stolen anyway....then there was the suggestion that cyclists should be breathalised.....what happens if they are over the limit?....do they lose their number plates?........or could it be a way of getting more money out of us?......the only thing that will help towards curing crime is to make public examples of those responsible.....a harsh sample of jail life would help....it's time we reviewed human rights and put some sense into our legal system which seems to be losing its way. I was in Wales last week and went to a spot I have been going to for years....I parked up and went for a two hour walk....when I got back I noticed in the corner of the car park a pay and display machine which has never been there before....which you don't notice on the way in....fortunately the jobsworth attendant hadn't completed his rounds so there was no ticket....so no £50 fine...which I feel very guilty about I don't think....I must say it gave me a feeling of wellbeing................and finally there was an article on the morning news discussing computer dating and how people misdescribe themselves.....I've never been involved but it must be strange arranging a date with someone you have never met....but it seems to work in a lot of cases........I used to work with an old chap who used to contact available ladies in the local newspaper (before computers) and some of his stories were wonderful. The song tis week is entitled "Subway Songman"......and was inspired by a visit to Liverpool where I was well impressed by the musical ability of some of the buskers......these lads and lasses have more talent in their little finger than the likes of Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton have in their whole bodies....they are out in all weathers entertaining passers by for very little in return.....this song is a tribute to them all

So now our Prime Minister is required to stand down by our wonderful government.....if this happens her replacement could be Mr.Blobby Michael Gove...which says it all....and the sheep are out again marching through the streets pretending they know what the the whole shambles is all about....and we were told there was a MILLION of them which was somewhat exaggerated ...I actually admire Teresa for having to deal with the load of morons in Parliament on a daily basis......we knock Donald Trump but he has more about him than the whole of our government put together....he certainly doesn't take any crap from anyone.2.But we needn't worry....because Uri Geller is going to stop Brexit happening....with his MIND....is it me or is the planet losing its way?.....Uri wants everyone at a certain time to think...all at once..."Stop Brexit"....so that's O.K. then,,,,and this is from his mansion in the Middle East or wherever.....there is no such thing as telepathy.....I can make cards do "unbelievable things" and make things levitate...and read minds etc....they are TRICKS ...it's not magic.....old Uri must be running out of money.....mind you the "million" marchers will probably fall for it....they seem to believe anything.3.The  WW2 Great Escape has been celebrated...when a batch of English P.O.W.s tunnelled out of a German P.O.W. camp....sadly with disastrous results......most of the escapees were captured and shot ...I saw the film which was very good apart from Steve McQueen who was the "cool" American hero jumping over fences on his motor bike....all very dramatic but in the usual Hollywood fashion it didn't happen....but they have got to get in there somewhere....all very entertaining but I think the actual FACTS would have been more educational.............and speaking of films I watched The Greatest Showman starring Hugh Jackman which roughly follows the rise of Barnam and his circus......the film was sensational....one of the best musicals I have seen....the songs were brilliant and were written by two young unknowns.....there were 1500 involved in the making of it and it took 7 years to complete...an absolute triumph.4.I've just paid my car tax and as always been totally ripped off because I have a diesel car.....despite the fact that I am paying more than everyone else I still have to negotiate the same potholes which our road tax is supposed to cure....plus I am now apparently destroying the planet!!.....I remember we were originally told that PETROL cars are destroying the planet and diesels were the answer....so we all started buying diesel cars and UP rockets the price of this earth saving fuel....then suddenly the big boys weren't selling enough petrol to furnish their fortunes so they announce that PETROL will save the planet....which hasn't gone down so well....SO it is now time to tell us that ELECTRIC is the answer......low road tax (if any) ...free electric hook ups around the country....no pollution etc etc.....give it a few years and ELECTRIC will be dearer that diesel....which I'm sure will make a big comeback when they count the number of unsold diesel cars....and so it goes.....it's like the cigarette companies....they put the price of fags up to encourage people to stop smoking....yeah sure....it stops nothing...all it does is feaher their already overfull nests and while people fall for this crap we will have these millionaires who don't give a monkeys about anyone else.5.The song this week is a tribute to the roof of Wales...Mount Snowdon....I've just come back after a few days in Caernarfon and I enjoy everything about the area......I have climbed Snowdon several times and it is so worth the climb.....I actually wrote the song for my pa Paul Damian and it is a track off our album which includes How To Say Llanfairpwll etc.....but this is my version and it came about on the first time  I reached the summit......I simply said "I Made It To The Top"

A lot of money has been raised for Comic Relief for good causes both here and abroad....63 million pounds....which makes a total of 1.3 billion since it began.......I watched the programme on it which was on all night last Friday......it is a great cause and it's good to see where the money goes....but as far as the "comedy" is concerned it's a "relief" when it's over.....it seems a lot of effort goes into various comedy sketches which fall flat......for example there was a spoof of Mamma Mia which was totally unfunny and pointless....plus another featuring a reunion of the stars of Four Wedding and a Funeral which was a complete disaster......or maybe I am missing something.....it would be better if they simply showed the charity sections and left the comedy out.....or find something that is actually funny. What I find a bit unacceptable about all this money being sent to other countries is we have our own major problems like lack of police and lack of money for the NHS.....and the homeless....it's all very nice seeing celebrities getting a bit of publicity for being involved but Africa,for example,is a big country....a LOT bigger than Britain....can they not solve their own problems?....plus the fact we never really know where ALL the money actually goes.....perhaps we should sort ourselves out first. 2.The news has been dominated by Brexit which has totally lost me and the New Zealand killings in a mosque.....the problem with the human race is we tar everyone with the same brush....because certain nationalities have a certain percentage who want to change the world and go to any lengths for their cause we blame them all....the Muslim religion like every other has it's extremists but they are in the minority and the events in New Zealand are not the answer....perhaps if terrorists were severely and loudly disowned by those of the same race people would listen...but this doesn't seem to happen...this would help their cause and perhaps create a bit more understanding.....it seems they want others to sort things out for them...the terrorist in New Zealand will be dealt with by his own nationality for example..... 3.On the sporting front the wonderful BBC decided to fill our Saturday night viewing with football....ALL NIGHT....with coverage of an FA Cup quarter final ...nice for the supporters of Manchester United or Wolves....but I doubt whether the other 99% of the population required this on peak weekend viewing time...which could have been put on another channel....still I suppose it saves the BBC boffins having to use what little imagination they possess .....this was followed by Match of the Day...enough said..........this was after a day of rugby with the six nations which I did watch and enjoyed especially as Wales got the grand slam........and I see the England ladies rugby team did well...they beat Scotland 80 - Nil.........close game eh?....I bet the spectators enjoyed that....all two of them....I do admire the efforts to get ladies rugby and football off the ground but I think it's a lost cause. 4.At last...at LONG last....we have been presented with a show on Sunday night which is worth watching....ITV have excelled themselves...All Star Musicals....which celebs being trained to perform on stage by the legendary Elaine Page....and with John Barrowman as the ideal host and no aunties,uncles and grannies in the wings it was welcome relief from the usual rubbish where so called singers see who can shout the loudest.....however it's the audience who vote for the winner....so why have judges?? 5.Lest we should forget...the song this week is a reminder of the pop stars who formed our youth....some of which have made a comeback since I wrote the song so they are not completely forgotten....the song is taken from my album Stars Over 45 and it is called "The Ballad of The Forgotten Pop Stars"

.Scotland has now got its own news channel.....which has cost £32 million....for 6 million people.....the BBC sure know how to spend our licence fee.....what is the point??....England has to suffer the national news (which mainly covers stabbings and murders) and also has local channels (which also mainly cover stabbings and murders).....but the Scots (or some of them) feel they are missing out........believe my guys you are NOT!!......the only news the rubbish BBC seem to cover is Brexit or fan the flames of problems like knife crime.....nothing of which helps in any way......unless they can sensationalise nasty situations and depress us all it's not news....I've actually stopped watching it along with many others.....the media in general should start helping to try and solve situations instead of adding to the doom and gloom with their negative reporting. 2.On the subject of dreadful television....there has recently been a documentary on Michael Jackson's alleged activities.....on Channel 4 which I purposely avoided....what purpose does this serve?...the guy is dead....oh yes I forgot there is quite a bit of money involved....and there are TWO accusers.....which seems to warrant a three hour documentary.....anyone who can get pleasure out of watching this sort of garbage needs help....Jackson was a strange chap but he entertained and was respected by millions....but the witch hunters have to focus on TWO accusers.....let's move on PLEASE!!! Amongst the cookery programmes and reality TV shows we are also subjected to "Family Tree" programmes where lost relatives are found etc.....the only person this is of interest to is the participant.....could I care if they find a Grannie who has been living in New Zealand for the last 80 years and bring her along to meet her huge family?....No. 3.Now let's get one thing straight before we go any further....CATAIN MARVEL WAS A BLOKE!!!.......not a girl!!....he was the alter ego of Billy Batson who turned into Captain Marvel after uttering "SHAZZAM!!".....to my horror and disbelief there is a blockbuster movie out where he is a girl.....I don't mind them intruding into football or even rugby (which gives me the opportunity to watch something else)...but I have to draw the line at Captain Marvel!!....it's like Dwayne Johnson playing Cinderella!!......two of the stars of the film...Brie Larson who plays Miss Marvel...and Samuel L.Jackson were on the Jonathan Ross show...old Sam being his usual happy self and Jonathan trying to inject some comedy into the situation...and failing.....then on comes comedian Seann Walsh and instantly starts apologising for snogging his dance partner when he was on Strictly Come Dancing....it was months ago!!...NO-ONE CARES!!...your single!!..........you need congratulating mate.....I think Jonathan Ross is well past his sell by date. 4.On the opposite end of the scale to Mr.Ross is someone with talent....a fascinating programme on Andre Previn was shown recently..... an incredible musician who passed away a few weeks ago....he was well known for his hilarious appearance on the Morecambe and Wise show but there was so much more to this man....he won four Oscars for his musical scores in films and originally started as a jazz musician which I didn't know.....he was interviewed shortly before he died and still had a great sense of humour.....what always amazes me about these top class musicians is their ability to write the music for all the instruments in the orchestra.....they actually hear it in their head and get it down on paper....brilliant........it makes the pop music of today look a bit sick. 5.Speaking of great music the song this week is one of my classics.....it is called The Dibber Song and came about from comments Norman Thomas used to make about his gardening problems....a dibber being a gardening utensil for making holes in the soil into which you drop your seeds......Norman went to buy one and picked up a handle for a shovel by mistake.....he got great mileage out of this on his programme so I wrote this song for him which he played many times.....he was a great bloke and sadly missed....I dedicate this song to him

When will people realise no-one in business is there to do you a favour....they are after your money EVERY TIME.....we are constantly being warned against scams yet some still divulge their bank account details and get cleaned out....I appreciate a lot of older folk are not computer literate but they should be strongly advised by the media to delete any Emails involving any of your personal details....we are getting ripped off all the time....I was listening to a loan company advertising on the radio prattling on about how they could solve your financial problems....you would think they are doing you a FAVOUR....what you borrow will cost you 50% more to pay back ...some favour!!....if you can't afford it forget it............and the old favourite "We have £10,000 waiting to be paid into your bank....send us the details of your account so we can deposit it".....and because they don't realise you get nothing for nothing they fall for it...and it's goodbye savings......it's a sad situation but not enough time is given to educating the public...the media seem to think baking cakes is more important. 2.Even legal advertising is designed to kid you....I saw an advert for some face cream in Boots the Chemist...."Clinically proved to reduce your wrinkles by up to 5 years"....first off where is the clinic? and secondly "up to" can mean anything....ONE DAY is "up to 5 years"......and then we have "Cruises from £499.99"....this is designed to make initially think you are getting a cruise for £400 instead of one penny short of £500....and "from" means for £499.99 your cabin is probably in the engine laughable. 3.When I worked in Trading Standards I came across some classic legal scams........one being the receipt of a letter telling you that you have DEFINITELY won one of the listed prizes in the letter (even though you have never entered a competition}....the prizes would range from an expensive car and/or a big sum of cash to,for example,a holiday for two.....the latter would involve a returnable deposit AFTER you have been on the holiday.....this is the one you will have won and when you have paid the deposit you find out that it's a coach trip from Glasgow to Morocco which you are never going to go on....goodbye deposit............another was the indoor TV aerial shaped like a satellite dish "You can have one in every room...and you don't pay satellite fees because you are not receiving satellite programmes.....£15".....everyone rushed out and bought one (or two) thinking that they would get satellite from this ordinary indoor aerial (worth around £5)l....despite what it said in the ad....clever stuff............but the best one was a firm which offered hard porn videos for £10 "while stocks last".....cheques made out to SPC LTD........they had a few in stock and when they had gone they would send the buyer their personal cheque for the refund....the personal cheque included their full name "Sexual Perverts Club"......needless to say not many of the cheques were cashed....genius. 4.On the news front apparently there are too many "white saviours" involved in Red Nose Day....which has raised a billion pounds for overseas charities over the years...this is according to MP David Lammy.....who is black..............TV presenter Stacey Doyle has come under fire from him for publishing her charity work in Africa apparently showing how only "white people" are seen showing where our donations go in Africa.....Lenny Henry has come out in total support of Stacey Dooley so at least some sense is being shown.... Mr.Lammy is probably quite happy to get the publicity as I'd never heard of him until now.....and I wonder how much of his nice salary he donates to the cause?.....perhaps he could supply all these poor kids in Africa with a nice expensive suit each....like the one he was wearing........obviously some of us need to apologise for being white.....not that we can do much about it. 5.On a lighter note the song this week is about a lady who everybody loves....Una Stubbs.....she is the eternal schoolgirl and I have been a fan since the early sixties when she first appeared on a milk advert......I wrote this song in the 70's and got a publishing deal with a major label...which sadly never materialised....so I sent the song to her....to my surprise she rang me up and told me how flattered she was...she was as sweet as you would expect.......I put the song on YouTube and it has had thousands of hits so obviously everyone agrees with me....so here it is The Ballad of Una Stubbs....available from my website.

First off a warning to anyone who has one of those Coca Cola embossed glasses in their cabinets.....I decided to have a Bacardi and Coke so I took the glass out and dropped a few cubes of ice in it...as the ice touched the glass it exploded....not cracked...literally exploded with bits flying all over the room.....the glass is the type which holds a pint and is quite thick with "Coca Cola" embossed on the outside....if anyone has one or a similar one...throw it in the bin. 2.I watched a very interesting programme on American "fibs".....which looked into the wonderful heroic events in their history and revealed what ACTUALLY happened.....examples of the many items was Paul Revere who supposedly rode across the country on his own and warned everyone of the approaching British.....there is even a huge statue of him ....however ...there was three of them and poor old Paul didn't make it to the end (fell off his horse I think)....and legend also has it that when the British tried to conquer them they were beaten by untrained farmers who bravely took up weapons and won the battle...when it was actually a trained army of Americans and French ....and there was an item with President George W. Bush prattling on about the day they gained independence and rang the independence bell loud and clear......the bell never arrived until 40 years later....and the Statue of Liberty was originally designed for the middle east who couldn't afford it so it was redesigned and sold to America.......it was a very interesting programme which makes you realise why a lot of Americans live in a movie world protected by John Wayne. 3.The BBC have been advertising the arrival of a new series featuring Alan Partridge...played by Steve Coogan....after all the hype I decided to watch it.....I must be missing something....there were a few rave reviews.....I don't think I even smiled...it was awful and that is half an hour of my life I won't get back......similarly this programme followed another half hour "comedy" called Warren....starring Martin Clunes......what I fail to understand is why these popular stars get involved in such rubbish....are they that hard up?....HOWEVER there is one saviour...it is called "Cunk on Britain" and features Diane Morgan as Philomena Cunk discussing the history of the country with top scientists and historians......the fact she knows nothing at all makes it very funny and original so the BBC must have SOME staff with a bit of knowledge about comedy. 4.I also watched a documentary on Walt Disney.....what an incredibly talented man.....the programme went through his life from his humble beginnings to building his amazing empire....what it brought home was the detail and thought behind the cartoons....for example he would have his cartoonists sitting in a room wathing a girl dancing and studying the movements of her dress and body....also he would bring animals in to study their movements.....he would even film a stone being thrown through a window then slowing it down to study what actually happens to the glass.....all this knowledge was put into the cartoons....most of which is missed by the average viewer....brilliant stuff.....it makes you realise what a genius he was.......not to mention the musicians who put the music together.....a great programme. 5.I thought I would link the song this week with the American mentality....it is called The Ballad of John Wayne....who is regarded as a hero over there....he won wars as a marine and won the west as a tough cowboy....when in fact he never saw any active service....he did HIS bit on the silver screen......which for some seems to be good enough....so "Get on ya horse and ride" with the Ballad of John Wayne.

watched a programme about how much the royal family cost the taxpayer....it was very interesting and threw up a few facts I didn't know.....when you see the unbelievable amount spent on banquets for example it is quite staggering.....with the gold cutlery and gallons of wine and champagne and necessary?.....and the royal train which costs 20 grand a trip....not to mention Prince Andrew's helicopter flights to and from his golf games.....apparently the family cost us 70 million a year....and that is just what we know about..........we are then told that knife crime is on the increase and we haven't got the money for more police.....which,after the cuts,we are 22000 short......not to mention the homeless etc.....and all we hear is that the royalty bring people into the country which is good for trade....which I certainly don't go along with......what the programme illustrated to me was the sheer lack of gratitude on their part....they wander around and actually believe they deserve it....and all we seem to get for our money is the occasional royal wave.....

Our song for Eurovision has been chosen....by the public no less....so it looks like another disaster....the song is called "Bigger Than Us" and is sung by a lad called Chris Rice who is an X Factor winner.....say no more....we were given three songs to choose from....one was sung by a girl and was instantly forgettable....similar to the one which won the vote....the other song was called "Freaks" which was very good and would have been a strong contender in my opinion....but it seems the public know best.....another "nil pwa" for the United Kingdom I think.....and no doubt we will blame politics for our lack of votes.... instead of the bad song. 2.In order to make people aware of environment change they are bringing pupils out of some schools to put the point over and to educate our young....wow what a great idea!!....this will definitely save the planet....have you ever heard such tripe....who comes up with these pearls of wisdom....all this will do is make youngsters think they are a lot more intelligent than they are....and they will probably end up coming up with stupid ideas like this one when they get older.....a better idea would be to get them to pick up the litter most of them have left there in the first place........ 3.Sir Philip Green....the owner of Top shop has been regularly featured on the news for his alleged behaviour with some of his staff....needless to say the FEMALE staff....he is accused of tapping a girl on the bottom and calling her a "naughty girl"....despite the fact he regarded it as "banter" this could obviously scar the girl for life and she may have to find a dark room to sit in after this tragedy....and this is NEWS....forget the floods and earthquakes worldwide where people are struggling to survive....this young thing obviously needs her problem solved with a chunk of Phil's billions......otherwise how will her scars and injuries heal?....so the witch hunt is underway.......however Sir Phil is going to defend his reputation which I hope is successful as this sort of nonsense needs sorting one way or another...... 4.I watched the BAFTAS on TV as there was nothing else to watch.....boring or what?.....acting is a job that's all....because you have a bit of charisma and presence doesn't particularly make you special.....it makes you lucky......I have to laugh at the ones who are nominated but don't get the award....all trying to look pleased for the winner....now THAT is good acting...........I fail to see why we have to sit and watch all the nominations....just giving us the winners would improve the programme as it would only be half an hour long...however they paid a nice tribute to Albert Finney who has just died....I thought he was brilliant in Saturday Night and Sunday orning....and Tom Jones 5.I used to write songs for local artists and record them on my record label which they would sell around the clubs and which I would get them airplay etc...so it was a rare everybody wins situation...Paul Damian was one of the artists and a good pal....over a cup of coffee he asked me for a novelty song for his act to which I replied he could possibly teach the audience how to say that long Welsh word....he taught me how to say it and by the end of that week I had written and recorded the song....I put it out on a vinyl 45 with a B side called "Leading Lady" with the Princess of Wales in mind and sent a copy to Lady Di (to help her with her Welsh)....and got a reply from the Palace thanking me.......I then started selling it in the actual village which to my amazement it took off.....with visitors on the coaches wanting to learn how to say the word....i eventually put it on to YouTube and it has had nearly 2 million hits and has had plays on Radio One and World News and feaured on TV both here and in The States...initially I even went to see the professor of Welsh at Bangor University to make sure we had it right...and all over a cup of coffee on a Monday morning....and here it is...... "How To Say Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"

We have had our yearly batch of snow which has naturally caused total chaos on the roads....apart from those who haven't quite grasped the fact that ice on the roads can actually prevent you stopping we have the 10 hour delays on the motorways....where people have abandoned their cars....what puzzles me is where do they go?....."I'll just get out of my car and jump over this hedge into six feet of snow in this farmers field and take it from there".......when it all thaws out there could be solid bodies everywhere.....stay in the car!!! 2.The other item which has had a lot of coverage is the footballer who went down in the light aircraft on his way across the Channel....a very sad story as he was so young.....after calling off the search it was reopened with the help of public donations and they have found the plane.....it does make you realise how vulnerable we all are and how it's not about money at the end of the day.................and someone put an interesting post on Facebook.......it showed a photo of a beautiful view of countryside and mountains with a comment saying "This is an anti-depressant" ....then another picture of pills saying "This isn't"....which again is easy to say but some of us can't get out to see our wonderful countryside for whatever reason.....personally I enjoy the beauty this country has to offer and like to feed my soul but I do sympathies with those who can't. 3.I watched the England rugby match in the Five Nations....and strangely I found it very boring....for the first time ever.....I also find I feel the same way watching football .....I have played competitive sport all my life and I am beginning to wonder why I find it all boring to watch all of a sudden......is it my age?.....there was a time I would watch hours of cricket and be transfixed with the Olympics but strangely nowadays I couldn't care less.....very strange.....maybe it is because I am a participant at heart and not a spectator?.....maybe it's just me and perhaps these guys who get so upset when their team lose are right?.....to me there are so many other things in life.......maybe I'm wrong. 4.When I started my record company in 1980 I included a "demo service" which I advertised nationally.....I would invite songwriters to send me their rough songs and I would knock them into shape for them....this proved very successful and actually paid for my studio....although it was quite hard going as some of the songs I received involved the writer singing in the bath....or even whistling the tune.....but I always managed to get things sorted.....on one occasion this chap required his song (called "Our Lady of Chestacova") to be demoed as a choir....so I layered my voice 16 times and sent it back....he sent it to a religious song festival in Rome and it got through to the finals....(as the then Pope came from Chestacova).....I got a call from Rome requesting me to come and sing the song......as it happened I was working on a musical for Radio City and couldn't make it so I asked my pal Paul Damian if he fancied going and I'd give him the backing track.....so off he went and sang the song and met the Pope .....the chap who wrote the song never went......big mistake.................Paul came back with a vinyl album of the show which included the song....and a nice tan from his free holiday.....and I suppose I can say I was too busy to meet the Pope. 5.Paul now lives in Spain and as a tribute to my mate the song this week is called The Magic of Wales which is a track from the album I wrote and produced for him back in the day......he actually taught me to say Llanfairpwllgyngyllgogrychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.....which is approaching 2 million hits on YouTube.....great singer...great mate.

.Prince Philip has apologised to the lady he pulled in front of when he was driving with his eyes closed....the letter has been published which was typed but with the opening and closing line in his handwriting....so that's O.K. then......the lady in question has been on TV thanking his Lordship for the letter......which will be worth a few bob....and she will have made a nice bit of cash from the papers if she gets it right.....she also had her arm in a big sling which is a good idea.....so I applaud her....that's the way to do it.................there is a move afoot to place speed ts to catch those who speed up and go through on amber.....another right idea from someone trying to justify their job......I've said it for years the only cure for speeding is to put speed cameras everywhere.....and just have random ones working....they would pay for themselves in a week...........oh I forgot....I was once told that there has to be three fatalities in an area before they can put up a speed camera....WHY?? 2.Social media is being blamed for suicides amongst the young....we of a certain age find this hard to understand...and wonder why you can't just switch your phone off when being bullied.......but it's not as simple as that as the young are very vulnerable and have become addicted to it all....which gives a sort of imaginary "poer" to those who sit in their little rooms and send out stupid messages which helps improve their sad little lives.......and as social media accelerates I'm not sure what the answer is.....it's so sad to hear of teenagers ending their lives over stuff they read on their computers.....and as always the media don't help with their constant promoting of "reality" stars with their facelifts and enlarged lips....in the constant search to be glamorous youngsters need to learn it's what's on the inside that counts......but sadly they are subject to wide world criticism unlike in our day. 3.A documentary has been made on the alleged misbehaviour of Michael Jackson.....despite appearing in court on several occasions and been found completely innocent some toad has come out of the woodwork and decided he was abused by Michael....after saying in court that he hadn't......so everyone piles in as usual and the witch hunt begins....and as Mike is sadly no longer with us he can't defend himself......obviously there's a bit of cash up for grabs.......he was an odd ball but let the guy rest..............it was the same with Jimmy Savile.....Louie Theroux did a documentary on him a few years ago and couldn't find any real evidence of the accusations hurled around about him....he went to the hospital that Savile restored for 9 million pounds and the staff were adamant that there was no truth in the ugly rumours......but of course when you have passed away you are an easy target.....what I find annoying is the accusers seem to get away scot free when they are proved wrong....they should be dragged through the courts and see how they like it. 4.On a lighter note I had to laugh at an article Billy Butler put on Facebook regarding functions where there are so many prizes that the draw takes up most of the night.........it reminded me of a gig I did with the band which was a football club presentation dance....at the particular venue we went in through back door on to the stage and set up behind the curtain....what we didn't know was on the other side of the curtain was a long table with a load of trophies to be given out......as our drummer went through the process of taking his drums out of the cases (filling up the stage even MORE)....he bent over against the curtain and knocked the table off the stage with all the cups and trophies clattering across the dance floor.....OOPS.....needless to say the organisers were not happy......still...that's showbiz. 5.The song this week is entitled "What Happened To Julie?" and harks back to the days when we were young.....and how strange it is that the when those wonderful romances come to an end we never see the girl again....even if she lives close by......so we are left wondering what happened to her.....it is a track off one of my albums called "Doowop Days" which takes you back to those golden years......available from my website www.donwoods.co.uk