Don Woods

It’s 50 years since “Love Me Do” got into the charts…and there’s a big celebration on local radio…all things Beatles. Don is Beatled out …BUT admits it’s impossible not to be fascinated by them when they appear on tele.BBC 4 have had a film documentary on George Harrison… It pulls you in…strange isn’t it….but I felt the guy was lost. Jeff Lynne of E.L.O. is over promoting his latest CD….to Don he is the best there is…the guy is a genius. He has made a self produced CD of old 40’s and 50’s songs and remade “Out of the Blue”…. The late Jimmy Saville is under investigation....... how come these victims never came forward in the 70’s (or since) which is when all this is supposed to have happened……apparently he has been in court twice in the past over similar allegations.. and cleared…they’ll probably take his knighthood off him – Trouble with these situations as soon as the press get hold of the story the guy is GUILTY no matter what. The news at the moment is dominated by the search for April Jones, the 5 year old who was abducted. We can’t think of anything worse for a family…. First and Virgin made bids to take over the west coast railway line…First winning the bid….it now turns out that certain Civil Servants got their sums wrong and it’s back to square one….all very well but this is costing the taxpayer 40 million ….The said Civil Servants have been suspended….so that’s O.K. then…..what a carve up!

The national and local news is full of the terrible tragic shooting of the two policewomen….guns and handgrenades..what next?….something’s got to be tightened up. ..Plus some sicko has posted his approval on facebook…what goes on in the heads of these morons.Problem is it’s not an offence….just offensive...........The Ladies British Open Golf was on last weekend at The Royal Liverpool at Hoylake.The weather was horrendous…so much so they had to cancel the Friday. I watched a bit of it on tele and there didn’t seem to be many there….they reckoned 44000 over the four days…I’ll take their word for that......... Port Sunlight Village is celebrating the life of William Hesketh Lever this weekend….for my money the guy was one of the greatest. He came from nothing and created a world empire….his story is classic. Don's just sent off his latest song for The Krankies Christmas panto….they are on again in Glasgow with John Barrowman. They wanted a song about the 2012 Scottish Olympic medal winners…so it was on to the net…got the names and churned the song out …no problem. When Don's recording it he puts their photo in front of him so he can “see” them doing it….here's Don with The Stop Tap latest….."after reporting my stuck stop tap to United Utilities and having TWO plumbers round to tell me there was nothing they could do until the cut off in the road was repaired…plus a load of calls from U.U……plus a waterboard guy who came round and painted the grid blue……a huge wagon with a trailer arrived with two guys and dug up the grid….which took ALL DAY….next day an articulated lorry with a mechanical digger on the back came and filled the hole in……next day another wagon arrived and a couple of blokes put the THREE flagstones back….the grid is six inches square. I can now have my stop tap sorted as per the three phonecalls received from United Utilities…..is it me or is the world losing it?"

Mike Tyson is visiting Liverpool to inspire young boxers...he was due to come to Wirral but there has been a big moan from a couple of councillors (who obviously want to get their name out there)...saying he should be banned from coming here because of his past....I wouldn't wanna be the one to tell him.....The Hillsborough disaster is filling the news ... the police look like they are going to come out badly from this...anyone else messing with evidence would go straight to jail...it'll be interesting how this pans out. 3.Wirral Council have announced they have to save 17 million so jobs will have to go....my suggestion would be to ask some of the high paid boys what they actually DO...not what they are "responsible " for...in other words what difference would it make if they weren't there?....that's one way of saving a lot of money...but they will all look after each other....as usual. 4.There is blanket coverage on the news of the topless photos of Kate M.... IS THERE NO REAL NEWS OUT THERE?...for heaven sake WHO CARES?!!!....they are having a great FREE luxury holiday...with everyone bowing low....I think they are making mountains out of molehills.....so to speak. .I decided to have the stop tap in my house sorted (it's stuck)......phone a plumber?...simple?...NO CHANCE....it nearly turned into an international incident....modern workmanship....give me a break.

With all the wonderful publicity prince Harry’s had…which has endeared him even more to everyone…the grand old Duke of York is trying to get in on the act by abseiling down a building…for charity…yeah sure..The price of petrol and diesel is under investigation….it has been announced that when the price of crude goes up the prices at the pumps also go up immediately…but when the crude price drops nothing happens ....... There’s a big thing about child care going on here…and how single mothers have difficulty feeding their children….now I maybe totally out of line here but the mothers they show are…how can I put it…easy to see…hardly starving… another classic from our wonderful legal system….some judge (who is obviously spends all his time in his country manor) has let a burglar walk free despite him having burgled 3 houses in 5 days…AND has a prison record……and finally, there was a recent move afoot to bring the Royal Iris back to the Mersey….but there’s no chance as it would be too expensive to do up...My band played on it many times and my memory was of everyone dancing from one side of the dancefloor to the other as the boat rocked from side to side….and a classic gig when the engines started up all the blew all the fuses in the amps…and all the lights went out…thankfully a couple of torches got the show back on the road….but not until about 45 minutes into the voyage. AND you had to get the gear off pretty nippy at the end…otherwise you could wave it goodbye from the landing stage.

Don met the legendary Chas McDevitt gave him a copy of his song “The Story of Skiffle” ....there’s a council somewhere in the Midlands who have put CCTV cameras all over the place to catch litterers and dog muckers etc…..Scottish comic, Frankie Boyle,   has caused a bit of an upset regarding his jokes about the Paralympics….The Mathew Street Festival was on last weekend ..... on the Monday the whole thing was washed out with torrential rain;.so the outdoor events were cancelled;a real shame.....on the subject of the weather..;.there was a ballroom attached to the late New Brighton Baths..called The Riverside.......about 20 or so years ago there were the worst storms Wirral had ever seen.

On the Olympic scene our wonderful Government have done a bit of a U-turn -they will only be awarding ONE honour for a gold medal in the honours list.    Good one eh?...how do you pick ONE?   Recognise ALL the successful athletes…or none at all…Will someone please tell me what Beckham has …a with a personality by-pass….The banks are being brought to task about advertising “free” banking when they charge for all sorts…..  We all moan about the banks but nothing seems to change.Gary Barlowe did a great advertising job for the X Factor…so much so I actually watched it…BIG MISTAKE…what a load of contrived rubbish…..time to draw the curtain on this one I think...tripe. A while back we did a gig for a local Lordat his mansion on the Wirral.We set up in a marquee in the grounds where all the local gentry arrived  in their Bentleys and proceeded to knock back the gin like it was going out of fashion.We were in a corner of the tent and when they had all settled down for the meal we began with our background repertoire.   Everyone was well oiled and not taking any notice of the band.After about an hour I decided to take a break…for half an hour…had a few beers and went back on.We were just about to start up when his  Lordship staggers over and says “You chaps are working very hard why not take a break”….NO-ONE had missed us…so we took another half hour blow….it aint rock and roll but it’s near enough.

On the Olympic front you really have to laugh….our wonderful Government have apologised for misleading us regarding the sale of school playing fields….they announced it was 21 of them but in fact (after someone rattled them) have announced it was in fact 30…..but it’s all O.K. because they have said sorry…so that’s alright then. Imagine being approached by the council tax lot…“Oh…didn’t I mention the extra 5 rooms in my house…SORRY”….or to the taxman “Oh..didn’t I tell you about those 50 gigs…SORRY”…I somehow think that would be a different story......

.Don is totally shattered after the Olympics.....;he's run and cycled every race and sailed every wave....How many of us choked up when the Judo girl told her late mum she loved her..;Mo Farrah...Jessica....;the boxing girl..Bolt...the cycling...;Ben Ainsle....I enjoyed every minute. Not sure about the Closing Ceremony..the UK Government are now going on about making P.E. compulsory in primary schools and putting more money into sport. All very good but really they are not displaying sport as an enjoymen... as if you have to apologise for coming second... teach kids how to win..and lose...and spot the good ones and get them into clubs where they can be coached?..and let's give the successful ones the same publicity as they give the rioters . .. Don bumped into a mate who plays in a band.... he was telling me how the scene has changed for the worse. Where you have committees or concert secs ....always going to be problems.....stupid health and safety and compulsory insuranceYou now have to take out insurance in case anyone falls over the gear and gets injured (which lets the ballrooms and hotels off the hook);and you must have the electrics means tested every year. ...and finally some small town reported a lion was on the loose..;so out come the police and fire brigade etc .... it was a bloke who had strayed from a fancy dress stag night.I would have thought the can of lager would have been a give-away!

The negative build up to the Olympics was a disgrace….the British press should get a grip…they were criticizing everything.    First it was the security (which was a bummer but it was solved)…then the transport…Next, .The hotels took a bit of a hammering….they had to drop their prices by 80% in some cases….which probably brought the price down to what it usually is...   Greed again…well this time they got their eye wiped.    It was the same as the millennium celebrations….everyone wacked up their prices and no-one showed up. Even when our athletes get into a final and don’t win a medal…it’s “She only managed 5th place”…we are talking about a nobody reporter who has achieved NOTHING criticizing-   an athlete who is not only the best in the country but is 5th in the WORLD!!....pathetic.   Clare Balding got a bit of a telling off for suggesting Rebecca Adlington was expected to get a gold but ONLY got a bronze…..she did apologise. The medals are pouring in…the emotion is overpowering…anyone who doesn’t get a lump in their throat at the medal ceremonies needs to get a life.What a refreshing change to see all these youngsters setting an example to all those people moaning and  layabouts who riot and steal and place no input into society…and get all the publicity.    Perhaps one or two of them will realise that he only place success comes before work is in the dictionary…..but I doubt it.

This week the last of the hosepipe bans has been lifted….BUT NOW it’s too wet for the crops to grow…SO we might have to pay more….like we were going to have to do when it was too dry...….for goodness sake…Andy Murray lost…and don’t we know it!!...they are STILL going on about it.....finally…a classic….some bloke was fined £60 for ogling a passing young lady while he was driving… ....

The bill for the Royals travel expenses has just been published….6.5 million...The most expensive one is The Grand Old Duke of York….225K….by jove Andy really is good value…considering we never see him…and I wonder what he does? ...and apparently the Royal Train is used a lot which costs a fortune.....

The hosepipe ban has been lifted as the nation travels in kayaks.......the ;politicians are claiming the Olympics are coming in under budget but which figures are being used?......be wary of thieves if you're travelling and dresses are out on approval......

.A soaking for the Queen and Duke, the Jubilee concert , the Bovver Boys in the Ukraine and parking in flood stricken Aberystywyth

The Eurovision disaster...The Olympic torch........bribing the children to study....the church on Anglesey called Llangwyfan

Rolf Harris, swimming, car insurance and thieves help Don get his feelings ready for the evening's Eurovision song contest