Sex With Dr. Jess

How can I ensure I’m the BEST he’s ever had? How do we know if we’re sexually compatible? How do I bring up hygiene before oral sex? How can I make sure our sex life is “fair”? Jess and Brandon tackle these listener questions in the first episode of 2019. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon talk about love languages, the holidays and their reaction to “You May Want To Marry My Husband”. They also share the dating profiles they wrote for one another and why they love this activity. This is an exercise you can try with your partner and it makes the ultimate holiday gift — it’s free and it keeps on giving! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon answer listener questions about how to have a happier relationship this holiday season. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

They sold everything and moved to Mexico. They’ve touched over 6000 people. And they’ve been swingers from the start. Lauren and Richard, from the Room 77 Podcast, chat with Jess and Brandon about their relationship, unique lifestyle and their sexual experiences. Have a listen via the link above and check out the summary of this episode’s key messages below: 1. Don’t wait to talk about what you want. If something is important to you, speak up from the onset. You don’t have to wait until the 5th or 50th date to open up, as dating rules are relics of the past. If you’re hoping to lure someone in before disclosing important information about your preferences and desires, it will likely cause more damage to the relationship in the long-run. 2. Selfish lovers can be the best lovers. Almost everyone is turned on by their partner’s pleasure and arousal, so don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! If you have trouble receiving pleasure or want to overcome performance pressure, you may want to consider mindfulness approaches to enhance your experience — and your partner’s. 3. You don’t have to want the same things to be compatible, but you do need to be open to learning about your partner’s desires without judgment. You can always find common ground — if you have an open mind. 4. Swinging can be about friendship, but for some people it’s just about sex and that’s okay. You don’t have to fit your sexual lifestyle into hetero-normative, monogamous-normative versions of love and sex. We don’t need hierarchies of relationships — in or out of the lifestyle. 5. If you have the opportunity to watch live sex (with consent), it can be a moving and revolutionary experience. In the absence of comprehensive sex education, most people turn to porn to learn about sex, but it’s not intended as an educational tool. Porn is intended to titillate and entertain and many of the messages 6. Pressure is the antithesis to pleasure. If you get hung up on a goal (e.g. orgasm), it is likely to detract from the experience. Lauren’s advice: just relax and have fun. If you have an orgasm — great! If not, hopefully you experience pleasure, connection or another benefit of touching and exploring with a partner. 7. If you’re going to make a statement about sex remember that it’s based on your experience — not expertise. Just because something applies in your case or your relationship doesn’t mean it can be generalized to the masses. 8. Mutual masturbation may be intimidating, but it’s powerful experience. If you feel awkward, you’re not alone, as masturbation is likely something you’ve done in private for your entire life. Many of us were also raised to do so with shame and secrecy for fear of being “caught”. Some strategies to overcome your awkwardness: Try it on the phone first. Describe what you’re doing to ease yourself in to being watched in person Do it in the dark or under the covers; it can be hot to be watched, but you may not want to be studied, as this makes many people feel self-conscious. Touch one another while you’re touching yourselves. Even a hand on the thigh or a few warm kisses can help you to feel connected and safe during any sex act. Don’t feel the need to “get off”; you can engage in masturbation without the goal of orgasm. 9. Check out the work of other great sex educators Jess met at Sex Down South: Marla Renee Stewart Honestly Nae Dr. Annod Right Tanya Bass  This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

LaDonna Wright, creator of the adult game, Secret VII, joins Jess to address relationships and sexual health questions. Secret VII can be purchased here or on Amazon. Follow LaDonna on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Former Registered Nurse and Award-Winning Adult Film Star Kendra Lust shares insights and lessons on sexual confidence, working in porn, and how to have a lasting, happy marriage. Follow Kendra on... Instagram Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about sex and cannabis? Do you understand between the difference between THC and CBD? And did you know that you can experience cannabis pleasure without getting “high”? Cannasexual, Ashley Manta, joins us and teaches us that we have a lot to learn. Follow Ashley on... Twitter Facebook Instagram Also check Ashley's online course, "The Ten Commandments of Hand Sex", available for purchase right now! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.  

Jess and Brandon continue the “partner interview” and share details about their greatest fears, fondest memories, where they hope to be in ten years and what they’re working on in terms of self-development. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon interview one another in an attempt to better understand their own relationship. They talk about their initial attraction and what they want to work on in their relationship. This is part one of the “Lover’s Interview”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. One of the best parts of my job involves facilitating workshops on relationships, communication, and sex — both online and in-person. I swear I do more learning than teaching and I love receiving feedback from participants — especially when they report that an activity or course positively affects their self-esteem and/or relationships. One of the most popular in-session activities for couples involves The Partner Interview, which almost always receives rave reviews. This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are just a few reasons why my clients and I love it: You can repeat it every few months and learn something new every time. It opens up new conversations. You can add your own questions to suit your personal needs. Even if you don’t use all the information right away, you’ll find that your partner’s answers will come in handy down the road. Brandon and I answered the first five questions in the podcast above and we walk through the second half of the questions in part II of the podcast here. If you want to try it for yourself, read through the questions below and take turns answering them with your partner. Alternate who answers each question first (e.g. if you answer #1 first, they answer #2 first) and consider sitting face-to-face if you’re comfortable doing so. Turn off all electronic devices so you’re not distracted by the dings and pings of your phone, tablet or laptop. (Brandon and I didn’t have this option since we were recording and we’ve decided to take the discussion offline this weekend so that we can reap the full rewards of this activity.) Do your best to answer the questions as honestly as possible and listen intently to your partner’s contributions. If you have trouble answering a question, you can pass. You may want to reflect on why some questions are difficult to answer and follow-up a few days later. You can download the Partner Interview here and the questions are posted below: Name/describe one thing you really appreciate about our relationship. What first attracted you to me? When do you feel closest to me? If I were to initiate sex tomorrow night, how would you like me to do it? What’s one thing you’d like to work on in our sexual relationship? What’s your greatest fear? What’s your fondest memory? What are YOU working on in your life right now and how can I support? Where do you see our lives together 10 years from now? Describe your perfect day. Set aside 30-45 minutes to complete this exercise and whatever you do, don’t be too hard on yourself or your partner. Talking about relationships and sex isn’t always easy to do! If you prefer, you can work your way through these questions 1-2 at a time. Rather than talking about your kids, work or plans, dig a little deeper. I hope you derive as many benefits from this activity as Brandon and I did. XOXO

Is polyamory on the rise? Are throuples the new norm? And what’s the difference between polyfidelity, non-hierarchical polyamory, and relationship anarchy? Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous,  joins Jess to share her personal experiences and professional insights on consensual non-monogamy. Follow Jenny on... Instagram Facebook Twitter Be sure to check out the 'Toronto Lit Up' book launch for Polyamorous happening on November 16th at Type Books. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dee H. Black & Ladyee Vee join Jess in Atlanta to talk about their interactive Face-Sitting workshops. They share tips and techniques for this powerful sex act as well as insights into why it is gaining popularity. Follow DV Passion Love Experience, LCC here: Facebook  Twitter Instagram This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Sex educator Domina Franco, a former semi-pro wrestler and phone sex operator, joins Jess and Brandon at The Sex Expo in Brooklyn. They discuss phone sex, Dominance, submission, dirty talk and how to make sex more exciting and authentic. Follow Domina on... Instagram Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about sex parties? What can you expect from a woman-focused sex party experience? Do you have to get naked and/or have sex? And what’s up with the name, Killing Kittens, anyway? Founder Emma Sayle, joins Jess and Brandon to share her story right before they attend their very first Killing Kittens party in New York. Follow Emma on... Instagram Twitter Follow Killing Kittens on... Instagram Facebook Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

What is kinky sex? What goes down at kink camp? And how can you kink up your sex life? Bex Caputo joins Jess and Brandon to share his experience, insight, and expertise. Bex has been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since he insisted on being served his meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8, so he knows his stuff! Follow Bex on... Instagram Twitter Youtube You can also check out Bex's podcast (with Kate Sloan), The Dildorks. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.    

What is the bisexual double-standard? How does erasure affect bisexuals? And how does bisexuality work in the Swing Lifestyle? Angelique and John join Jess to discuss their experiences as a bisexual couple. Follow Angelique on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Follow John on... Facebook Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.