Sex With Dr. Jess

Amina Peterson joins Jess to discuss the practice and philosophy of tantra. What is tantric breathing and meditation? How can a body scan improve your sex life an overall well-being? It’s not all about sex, but sex is certainly enhanced by the practice. Amina closes the episode with a brief body scan that moves Jess to a state of deep vulnerability. Follow Amina on... Instagram Youtube Facebook This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Pansexual. Cisgender. Sapiosexual. Gender Queer. Gender Fluid. Agender. Aromantic. Demisexual. Gender Non-confirming. Transgender. Award-winning activist, Aida Manduley, joins Jess on the podcast to discuss terminology related to sex and gender. Which terms are appropriate and which are not? And how we can celebrate inclusion and learn from our own mistakes. Listen below to learn more! Follow Aida on... Twitter Instagram Check out these links that will help you become more familiar with various sexual pronouns... Practice With Pronouns Minus 18 This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.    

Are on-again-off-again relationships healthy? How can we break bad relationship habits? How do you recover after cheating? And how do you know if your work crush is crossing the line? Therapists Eboni Harris & Eliza Boquin join Jess to share their insights on these topics and more. They’ve got some great advice so make sure you tune in! Follow Eboni on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Follow Eliza on... Facebook  Twitter Instagram  Youtube Follow Melanin Mental Health on... Facebook Instagram  Twitter This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

If you’re curious about the butt and its potential for pleasure, tune in for lessons in anatomy, pleasure, technique and more! For more anal sex tips, check this out! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Podcast Transcript Anal Play What! what! In the butt! Your bum is one of the most responsive erogenous zones on your body, so exploring its pleasure potential is a no-brainer. Not only is the anus rich in super-sensitive nerve endings, but it is actually anatomically configured for mind-blowing orgasms for both men and women: the male G-Spot, also known as the prostate, and the female cul-de-sac, that sexy region on the lower vaginal wall, can be stimulated through the back door. Despite the climax-centered design of the bum, anal sex continues to retain its taboo status...at least in theory. In reality, however, anal sex is quite common. Research suggests that nearly half of men and women have engaged in anal intercourse and orgasm rates are actually higher for women who include anal play in their erotic repertoire. That’s right! Among women who had anal sex during their last encounter, 94 percent had an orgasm versus only 84 percent of those who received oral and 65 percent of those who had vaginal intercourse (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University) Couple the powerful potential for orgasm with the thrill of defying one of the most intense and enduring sexual taboos and you have the perfect recipe for spicing up your sex life through the back door! But since the tissue and nerve endings of the anal area are so sensitive, it is essential to follow some basic guidelines to make sure your experience is as hot as possible: Become acquainted with your bum. Your butt is a thing of wonder, but since you probably don’t know this nether region like the back of our hand, you’ll want to do some exploring before you venture into the exciting land of anal play. On the outside, you have a highly responsive pucker (AKA bum hole/anus) that is rich in nerve endings and responsive to light touch. For some people, this is where anal sex begins and ends. There is nothing in the rule book that says that you must include penetration in your anal sex practice. A good exercise for newbies is to enjoy anal play (licking, sucking, massaging, kissing, etc.) with the promise of no penetration to build trust and become familiar with new sensations. If you do decide to venture inside, you’ll enter the anal canal which is less than a few inches long and rich in highly responsive nerve endings. Comprised of soft tissue folds, this area has a good capacity for expansion and is sensitive to touch, pressure and temperature. Inside, you’ll find two sphincter muscles, which are ring-like oval structures that help to hold the canal in shape. The next time you’re in the shower and feeling relaxed, gently slide a lubed finger inside to get to know your sphincter muscles. You don’t have to reach great depths to find your sphincter muscles. You’ll feel the external sphincter, which you can contract and release at will (the way you might flex and relax your biceps) less than an inch beyond the opening. The internal sphincter is just a little deeper, but because this smooth muscle ring is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (which manages automatic bodily functions like heartbeat and perspiration), it remains in a state of contraction. You can’t exercise complete control over your internal sphincter, but just as you can slow your heart rate through breathing and mindfulness, so too can you help relax this sensitive muscle through relaxation and deep breaths. Beyond the anal canal lies the rectum which comprises the lower section of the large intestine.

Uncle Mike (Captain Lyn - @lyn.mike) joins Jess and Brandon to share his insights on marriage after 51+ years. Have a listen! With age comes wisdom and even if his experience is different than your own, you’ll find pearls of wisdom worth taking to heart. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess & Brandon model a “how-to-talk-about-sex” conversation in response to a listener’s question — they share their unprepared responses on the spot. They also weigh in on spicing up date night, watching web-cam models, sex clubs, sleeping after sex & how long to wait before having sex with a new partner. Please find a rough summary of the podcast below. We are working on providing full transcripts for all podcasts. Welcome to the SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist and I’m here with my better half, Brandon Ware. Today, we’ll be answering listener questions about sex and relationships. Before we get started, I’d like to thank Desire Resorts for their support and remind you that we’ll be facilitating workshops at both properties in Mexico on October 24-25, 2018. More details can be found here. Question: I listened to your podcast on sex clubs and we’ve talked about going, but I’m just not there yet. I’m fine with watching porn, but the idea of real live people freaks me out. My girlfriend really wants to go and you always say to take baby steps, so is there something we can try in the meantime until I’m ready? Just talk about going and play around with the idea. Go to dinner and drive by a club without going in — make out in the car instead. Or talk about all the naughty things you’ll do at a club while having sex at home — with no pressure to follow through in real life. Not everyone likes sex clubs and you certainly don’t have to visit one if you’re not into it. Another option… Sign into an adult webcam room featuring another couple. This may be a little risque, but more couples are joining in on the fun from the safety of their own bedrooms. Webcam models perform live and you can even make requests if you’d like. The couples I’ve met who visit webcams (often for special occasions) say that they like the spontaneity and the fact that they’re not overproduced like porn. If you’re considering this option, talk to your partner ahead of time to discuss your concerns and desires. Some questions you might want to address: 1. If we do this together, does it mean we can do it alone? Set boundaries and agree on what is acceptable within the confines of your relationship. Don’t worry about what others (including experts) have to say. You decide what is dis/allowed in your own relationship as a team. 2. Are we willing to interact (chat) with the models or just watch? 3. Are you nervous about the experience? What makes you nervous? What can your partner do to assuage your concerns? 4. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, how will you address this? Will you close the computer? Take a break? Use a sign to communicate your discomfort? 5. If you’re using a pay site (many offer free access), what spending limit do you want to set? Be honest about your desires and boundaries. You are not a prude if you’re not into adult webcams. You don’t have to do everything to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life. Question: I saw your story about UberEats as date night and I voted yes on both accounts and I’m wondering what you and Brandon do for date night cuz you look so happy together. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE3236InlD1gWgLzfonvoh5I4gX7g9PS8Z3Q2fwTNMigbE94u3s", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiMjYxODQxNTNmYjIyNGRkMmE1NTEzZDE5MzczMzZjMWQifQ==",

Single? Dating? Coupled? Whatever your relationship status, it’s time to take responsibility for your own happiness. Andrea Bain, host of the “Single Girl Problems” podcast joins Jess to share insights and advice for both couples and singles. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. Follow Andrea on... Twitter Instagram Here’s a summary of the dating and relationship advice Jess and Andrea discuss in this podcast: 1. Don’t treat a date like an interview. Do not get hung up on assessing their assets and deficits. Instead, just stay focused on how you're feeling in the moment. How you feel about yourself in the presence of another person is a very good measure of the relationship. Think about it — it applies to your boss, to clients, to work teams, to your parents, your lovers, your siblings. Stop measuring and start feeling. If that sounds too abstract, let me get a bit more specific. Each time you catch yourself assessing a date or analyzing your compatibility, wiggle your toes to distract yourself from those thoughts and come back to the present moment and get in your feelings. Take a breath and feel what’s happening in your tummy or in your body. This is so important for relationships and sex — in general — whether your single and dating or in a relationship. Because we fall into the habit of spectator-ing - instead of enjoying or experiencing the moment, we look in from the outside to see how it’s going like a spectator. In the bedroom, this detracts from pleasure and arousal and actually can lead to sexual issues. In fights, it can be a problem because we focus on winning an argument or telling our partner that they’re doing something wrong instead of focusing on the issue and feelings at hand. When we become a spectator - on a date, at the dinner table or in the bedroom, we can’t be present and if you aren’t being present, you’re not giving your partner or your date what they deserve. So if you catch yourself assessing the situation, cut it out. One breath, a giggle, a joke, a flirtation, a touch of the hand, a sip of wine — do something physical to bring yourself back to the present. 2. I’d love to see all first dates happen in groups. If I was dating right now and I met someone online, I’d invite them to join me on an outing I already had planned with friends — something short and casual like grabbing a drink after work or inviting them to stop into a birthday party I’m already attending, but I like the group date for two reasons: your friends not only influence your relationship (if they like your partner it can have a positive effect on your relationship) and younger folks are doing this — the group dating thing — and I think they have a better approach to relationships - they talk about them more, they aren’t as jaded and they get that what works for their best friend may not work for them. The over 30 crowd doesn’t seem to get this, so let’s learn from the teens and 20 somethings and do the group date thing. I suggested this to a client last summer and they tried it a few times with a few guys they met on Bumble and she’s in a relationship today — almost a year later. It’s one case, but it’s worth giving it a try. 3. Lastly, I’d like to emphasize that I’m a fan of online dating but only because it broadens your pool. I’m certain that it really doesn’t matter how you meet - in person or online because all relationships regardless of how you initially connect can grow into something amazing…but if you’re dating online I also suggest that you date in person and you make an announcement. If you’re single and looking, tell people! Stand up and tell your friends at the dinner table - tell them what you’re looking for and ask them to make introductions. 4. And I have one more thing to say because it’s my podcast so even though I said I had three things I’m changing my mind to fo...

Jess and Brandon share their insights on what constitutes online cheating and how to handle disagreements about chatting with exes and others online. In another podcast episode, Jess discuss why it's important to talk about infidelity with your partner. Listen here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess and Brandon team up to answer listener questions about anal sex, discrepancies in desire, how to get your partner to talk about fantasies and more. They share personal insights and open up about some of their sexual experiences (even if Brandon doesn’t seem to remember all of them!). Jess and Brandon take to Instagram Stories to answer some additional questions, check it out below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. (function(v,i,d,e,o){v[o]=v[o]||{}; v[o].add = v[o].add || function V(a){ (v[o].d=v[o].d||[]).push(a);}; if(!v[o].l) { v[o].l=1*new Date(); a=i.createElement(d), m=i.getElementsByTagName(d)[0]; a.async=1; a.src=e; m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m);} })(window,document,"script","https://cdn-gce.vdocipher.com/playerAssets/1.5.0/vdo.js","vdo"); vdo.add({ otp: "20160313versUSE323BX8fEvv3XzNvfcbrx7xkATA93MIAbleOLQTMdIIfBAJ0ju", playbackInfo: "eyJ2aWRlb0lkIjoiZjVjOTNlN2FmYTdkNDBjNTlkYzQ0ZThkYjcwNjQwYmIifQ==", theme: "9ae8bbe8dd964ddc9bdb932cca1cb59a", container: document.querySelector( "#vdobrx7xkATA9" ), }); This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Liz Powell joins Jess and Brandon to discuss how “hot thoughts” sabotage relationships. They also discuss friendships, gender roles and share personal stories of relationship struggles. Follow Dr. Liz on... Twitter Instagram Facebook Check out Dr. Liz's book, Building Open Relationships, here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Are you curious about your friends, co-workers and neighbors’ fantasies? Of course you are! Dr. Justin Lehmiller was curious too, so he asked over 4000 Americans to share their deepest, darkest and most exciting fantasies. He discusses this fascinating research from his latest book, Tell Me What You Want, with Jess in this week’s episode. Follow Justin on... Facebook Twitter Check out another podcast Jess recorded with Justin about cuckolding and cuckqueening here! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Jess & Brandon talk about how the soulmate myth is bad for dating and relationships. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Markie Twist (sex therapist) & Professor Neil McArthur (ethicist) join Jess to discuss various relationship arrangements including relationship anarchy, affectional-only relationships, and non-sexual parenting partners. Markie shares a few of her experiences and Neil weighs in on recent cases. And we almost forgot that Brandon joins them too simply because he was so fascinated by the topic! Dr. Markie and Jess also collaborated (along with Ruth Neustifter & Francisco Ramirez) to publish a paper addressing the role of entertainment media in sex education. Read more here. Additionally, they joined forces to discuss the ethics of sex education in Manitoba in 2017 (sponsored by the University of Manitoba’s Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics) and recorded this Facebook Live video in which they address open relationships. Professor Neil McArthur and Jess have also collaborated on a previous podcast episode to discuss research on sexbots and how they are shaping the future of sex. Listen here! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

Dr. Jess and Dr. Nancy join forces to answer the question, “how do I convince my partner to swing?”. The short answer is that you don’t convince them to do anything, but you can introduce swinging (and other sexual activities) in a manner that will produce meaningful and sexy conversations. Jess & Nancy share actionable advice you can use today! Follow Dr. Nancy on... Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube LinkedIn

Should I have sex with a married woman? How do I get my partner to open up about fantasies? Once a cheater, always a cheater? Jess (and Brandon) answer these listener questions and more! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.