Sex With Dr. Jess show

Sex With Dr. Jess

Summary: In Sex With Dr. Jess, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, author, and media personality, shares tips on how to enhance your sexual life to improve the quality of your relationships. She interviews guests with questions ranging from how to deal with jealousy to getting down in the bedroom, as well as hosting thought-provoking episodes centered around compatibility and strengthening relationships.

Podcasts:

 Overcome Sexual Repression | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 22:42

How do know if you’re sexually repressed or if your partner is holding you back? What is sexual empowerment and how can you overcome repression to feel more empowered? Jess and Brandon discuss their experiences and share personal insights. How do I know if I’m sexually repressed and if my partner is involved in making me feel this way? I hear about sexual empowerment and that’s how I want to be. Sexual empowerment and sexual repression are not static states of being, but experiences that fluctuate over time. You may feel repressed one day and empowered the next. You may experience empowerment in one sexual scenario and struggle to overcome the repression with which you were raised. The experience of sexual repression (which is universal) does not mean that “repressed” is a part of your sexual identity, as sexuality is fluid. You may feel empowered on your own, but you may be socially repressed because of your gender, sexual orientation, race, age, ability or body type. While empowerment and overcoming sexual repression may be admiral goals, it’s important to look at the ways in which systemic oppression wreak havoc on our sexual identities and sexual expression. If, however, you feel that your own attitude or behaviours (or those of your partner) are resulting in feelings of sexual repression, you might consider whether or not... 1. Your partner (or society) shames you for your sexual desires or fantasies. This is a serious red flag and a sign that you may not be compatible. Compatibility can be cultivated, but if they judge you for your sexual desires, you may find difficulty finding common ground. What to do: Talk to them about the judgment. Call it what it is. Ask them to explain the source of this judgment. How does it make them feel? Are they struggling to overcome a sexual issue and are they projecting their negative feelings on to you? If they’re willing to work on this, you can find a path to compatibility. If they continue to shame or judge you (without acknowledging their own hangups and baggage), you may want to consider whether they’re the right sexual partner for you. 2. You feel guilty about masturbating or enjoying sex. Masturbation is common, pleasurable and healthy for people of all genders. However, many of us are raised to believe that it’s a dirty little secret and overcoming these negative messages can be a challenge. What to do: Examine the reasons why masturbation is shameful. Make a list with two columns: Why it’s bad and why it’s good. Consider the pros against the cons to approach sex and masturbation with a more rational (and less moral) lens. 3. You enjoy sex, but feel ashamed or embarrassed after engaging in sex that brings you pleasure. What to do: Consider the messages you received about sex growing up. Look at them from an evidence-based perspective. Look for scientific reasons why you shouldn’t enjoy sex and why you should feel ashamed. And then look for reasons why you deserve to enjoy sex. Here are a few: Improved sexual functioning. Self-pleasure can help you to become more familiar with your own body and its unique sexual responses. You’ll likely become better at asking for what you want during partnered sex as a result of your self-pleasure sessions. Boosted body confidence. Masturbation not only fosters a positive connection with your body, but it can boost self-esteem. When your body performs (through a sport, a dance or a session of pleasure), you experience an increase in confidence and tend to focus on its strong points as opposed to its “problems”. Heightened sexual desire. Masturbation is elemental to increasing desire in many cases, as it helps us to learn about our own bodies and reactions. Self-pleasure also increases the likelihood of orgasm and is c...

 Bringing Fantasy to Reality: Public Sex | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 25:20

Jess & Brandon address a listener who wants to “convince” his wife to fulfill his fantasy. They discuss the appeal of public sex and how you can build upon your fantasies in a safe way and incorporate your partner. Please see some summary notes from this podcast below: I may be weird but I want to have sex in public. How can I convince my wife to fulfill this fantasy? Public sex carries an element of risk, which can heighten excitement, desire, passion and intimacy — if you balance this risk to ensure personal safety. I often suggest that the formula for a lasting relationship involves cultivating so much love, safety, trust and respect that you can engage in non-sexual behaviours and/or explore fantasies that are a little risky. Having sex in public is one example of an activity that can heighten passion without huge risk as long as you consider your local laws. Not everyone consents to watching or hearing you have sex, so be mindful and respectful of others’ boundaries. If you go shopping with your younger sibling or child, you don't want to hear a couple having sex in the next fitting room. If you go for a walk with your grandmother, you don’t expect to see a couple getting it on behind a tree. You can experiment with elements of public sex without exposing yourself to non-consenting parties. Consider the time, place, lighting and other logistics as you explore this fantasy. A public park or parking lot at 3am likely provides less privacy than it does at 2am. But you don’t have to have sex in front of a crowd to benefit from the thrill of public sex. Consider the following strategies to enjoy the risk and reward without reaping negative consequences: 1. Have sex on your own property — on the balcony or in your yard (in the dark), for example. You’ll enjoy the thrill of being outdoors and the threat of being watched or caught, but you can control the degree of exposure and slip back inside at any point in time. Be sure to turn off the outdoor and indoor lights so that your neighbours won’t be able to see you in action. Other semi-public options include the car, single-stall restrooms and fitting rooms. 2. Expand your definitions of sex. Don’t get hung up on P-V intercourse. Time and space won’t always allow for all types of sex, so get your quickie on using your hands, lips, tongue and even toys — consider a wearable toy like the new We-Vibe Moxie. Wear it while shopping and give your partner the reins of control (using the remote control or the WeConnect smartphone app). 3. You don’t have to “finish”. Obviously there is no universal finish line for sex, but oftentimes, we become focused on reaching orgasm as the ultimate goal. Instead of striving to climax in a public space, consider getting started in public with dirty talk, discreet touching, sexting, rubbing through clothing under the table and other activities before moving into a private space to follow up. 4. Go to a sex club or event where on-site sex is permitted. You can enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism without the risk of violating others’ consent. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 Emotional Literacy & How to Handle Rejection | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 1:03:00

Karen B.K. Chan, joins Jess and Brandon on the podcast to discuss rejection. How can we manage rejection? And when we feel rejected, how can we embrace it? How do we develop resilience and emotional literacy and to navigate uncomfortable social situations. Listen now and learn more! The following is a rough transcript of the introduction to this podcast: When was the last time you felt rejected — in work, socially, or otherwise? I feel rejected often because I talk to strangers so often. The other day I was walking down the street and I said good afternoon to a woman and she didn’t reply. The way I read the situation was that she looked up at me, mouth agape and then averted her gaze. I felt as though she was irritated with me and though that may have not been the case - she may have been shy or felt threatened or simply didn't know what to say, but I remember feeling irritated. But I was only irritated because I felt rejected. I also feel rejected when I try to make conversation with people and they seem uninterested. When I play Ultimate, I often play with new players or new teams or new subs and some people really like to chat on the sidelines and others clearly aren’t interested. I always try to make conversation because I’m chatty and sometimes I get one word answers and I take it personally. But of course, it’s not their responsibility to make sure I manage my own feelings of rejection. They may not want to talk because they’re into the game. They may not be in the mood. They may just not really like me. And I’m sensitive about this. Sometimes when I’m in certain spaces, I feel like I’m being rejected because of my race, because of my occupation, because of my appearance if I don’t fit in. But this is on me. I grew up thinking people in Toronto were snobby and at some points in my life, I had a chip on my shoulder because of this. And I think it’s because I wasn’t being honest about how I felt. I wasn’t owning the feelings of rejection. And feelings of rejection are tough. They’re psychological and physiological. Evolutionary theorists suggest that because we come from hunter-gatherers, we needed the community to survive. When we felt rejected by the group, we feared for our lives because we simply couldn’t survive on our own. It stems from a life or death situation and it’s a warning system for our own protection. Of course, we no longer live in the wild, so we no longer need to allow rejection to scare us. In fact, we’ll be better off if we embrace rejection. MRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain and pain medications like Acetaminophen can reduce emotional pain. But emotional pain can feel more intense than physical pain because we can recall it, and because when we face emotional pain like the pain of rejection, we tend to self-sabotage and be harder on ourselves. If you get a bruise, you don’t ruminate about it, but we tend to be self-critical when faced with emotional rejection. I want to talk about rejection because I think we’re getting it all wrong. I think we fear it too intensely and it’s time to embrace it. We often talk about the power of vulnerability and how much it can improve self-esteem, relationships and fulfillment. And rejection is a part of this vulnerability. Rather than avoiding or dismissing rejection, I want us to embrace it and learn from it. Joining us to discuss how to handle rejection is BK Chan. BK is sex and emotional literacy educator. BK has an Emotional Intelligence  online course you can access here. The following is a rough transcript of the podcast conclusion: Rejection is a life skill. There are so many pearls of wisdom to pull from BK’s insights and even though I’ve only met BK a few times, she is one of my favourite people I’ve ever had the privilege of speaking to and spending time with.

 Sex & Pleasure After Sexual Assault | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 43:47

Julie Peters, author of Want: 8 Steps to Recovering Desire, Passion, and Pleasure After Sexual Assault, shares her insights regarding recovery and the return to desire, sexuality, trust, and pleasure after assault. Her approach is grounded in gratitude, mindfulness and pleasure and is relevant to survivors of all genders as well as the general population. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 Dr. Donaghue on Toxic Monogamy, Body Neutrality & Erectile Disappointment | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:58

Loveline's host, Dr. Chris Donaghue joins Jess and Brandon to share insights from his latest book, Rebel Love: Break The Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits and Have the Best Sex of Your Life. They discuss porn addiction, solo-sexuality,  body image, toxic masculinity, the drawbacks of monogamy and the habits we need to break to tap into authentic sexuality. Thank you to We-Vibe and Womanizer for bringing Dr. Donaghue to Toronto!

 What We Fight About & 3 Ways We Resolve Arguments | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:24

In this episode, we talk about a fight we had the other day and our top three strategies for resolving conflict in our marriage. We also discuss Airpod sex, Canadian open relationships & millennial marriage with reference to two recent studies. ***Please find a rough version of this transcript below.*** Welcome! We had a short fight about pretty much nothing last weekend and it reminded me that I had committed to talking about how we resolve arguments, so today we’ll be talking about our arguments and how we resolve them. But first. A new study suggests that 20 percent of people with AirPods wear them during sex… And a Canadian study is on my radar today too. Researchers from the University of British Columbia looked at data from a nationally representative survey of about 2,000 Canadian adults. They found that four per cent of those in relationships reported being in an open relationship, while 20 percent reported having been in an open relationship in the past. Meanwhile, more than one in ten (12 percent) reported that open relationships were their "ideal relationship type.” Does this surprise you? And I also want to mention another study suggesting that millennials are giving up a big milestone in order to save for a home. They’re skipping marriage because of the cost of real estate. Rather than buying an engagement ring and spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, they’re skipping the wedding and saving for a house. But here’s the thing: a wedding doesn’t have to cost you tens of thousands of dollars. You can save for a house and get married if you want to if you stop making your wedding a financially burdensome affair. If you think the institution of marriage is outdated, I hear you. And you don’t have to get married. But if you want to get married and you’re avoiding it because of the costs, just remember that a wedding doesn’t have to break the bank. And as I said last week, please stop planning your weddings and start planning your marriages. If you think planning a wedding is stressful or you find it overwhelming, you’re probably going to find a lifetime of commitment, cohabitation, cultivating intimacy and possibly co-parenting even more overwhelming, so forget the menu and the flowers and the napkins and the seating arrangements and redirect that energy into talking to your partner about how you plan to spend money for the rest of your life, how you plan to integrate your families in your lives, how you plan to have kids if that’s in the plans and how you plan to have sex potentially with only one person until death do you part. Now back to the matter at hand or the one I’m avoiding — our fights and arguments. Over the weekend, we were in Montreal and we got into a tiff on Saturday afternoon over pretty much nothing. If I tell the story it’s going to sound ridiculous. So I’m going to try to tell it. 1. We admit when crankiness is to blame. Sometimes arguments are about nothing. They’re not indicative of an underlying issue. They’re not intended to move the relationship forward and improve understanding. They’re simply a result of a mad mood or a lack of patience. And it can be hard when you know you’re the one at fault to step back and say mea culpa. It can feel overwhelming to take responsibility when you’re physiologically flooded and you’ve been diving in for the past ten minutes about some ridiculous issue. In fact, it can feel ridiculous to backpedal after you’ve been trying to prove a point or show just how right you are and admit that everything you said makes no sense at all and you’re sorry. This only works if your partner isn’t in it to win it. If you have a partner you is focused on winning an argument or being right, you’re not going to want to stop and say, “Yeah...I’m sorry. I’m being unreasonable. Forgive me.” You need a partner who’s willing to look past your temporarily irrational ...

 How to Prepare For Marriage, Get Over an Ex and Repair a “Broken Relationship” | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:35

Jess and Brandon weigh in on listener questions related to breakups, rough patches, managing jealousy in the age of social media and wedding planning anxieties. **Please find a rough transcript below for this episode.** How do I not get jealous when it seems like everyone else is so happy - especially on social media? First - know that your comparisons aren’t realistic. Comparing your real-life relationship to the highlight reels that other couples post on social media will inevitably produce an unsatisfactory result. Photos, videos and other edited posts offer a momentary snapshot that is incomplete, condensed and/or scripted and your life is far more complex than one post can illustrate. I don’t post about the fact that I ate a chocolate bar that I took from the plane for breakfast this morning, or that my tummy is hurting. I don’t post about the fact that the sex we had the other night was really weird and sort of uncomfortable. I don’t post about being constipated or the fact that I had a terrible night last night and came home pissy over traffic and my team losing in a sort of frustrating game of Ultimate. So first and foremost, know that you’re comparing your regular life to less than 1% of someone else’s life. Next, know that jealous is normal. Admit to it. Identify if there is something they have that you want. And then identify what you can do about it. Some jealousy can help you to feel inspired, so when it comes to what you see on social media, calculated comparisons can be useful. As long as you realize that social media offers only one depiction of a multi-faceted relationship, it can be useful to learn from other couples. For example, perhaps you follow a couple who prioritizes health and fitness and at times it motivates you to to the same. Or perhaps you follow a couple who travels and you use their itineraries as inspiration for your next trip. Experiences of normative jealousy can be helpful if they help you to recognize what you want and how you can change your thoughts and behaviour to deepen fulfilment. If, however, feeling jealousy leads to distressful thoughts (e.g. feeling badly about yourself), they can be damaging. Once you’ve acknowledged the emotion, you can examine why you’re feeling it and what you might do about it. What shifts can you make — behaviourally and cognitively — to learn from this feeling. How can you use jealous feelings to look at what you feel you’re missing and make changes OR accept your circumstances in the case of things you can’t change. For example, if you feel jealous of another person’s financial success and you acknowledge this feeling, you may be able to take steps to improve your own confidence or make adjustments to your own finances. You’ll also want to look at ways to build confidence overall. If you admire or covet something somebody else has, what can you do to achieve/embody this in your own life? You can’t have everything they have, but you can make changes to the way you think and the way you behave right now. And finally, consider the evidence that supports your jealousy. Should you really feel jealous or is it an irrational emotional response? If a friend came to you with the same problem and feelings, what would you say? I should note that envy often refers to negative emotions directed at another/others (e.g. resentment, malevolence) whereas jealousy often refers to longing for something that someone else has. If you’re feeling envious, you’ll want to really work to address the underlying jealousy because it’s exhausting to live your life directing anger and malevolence at other people. My husband and I are going through a rough patch and it feels like we’ve been fighting for years. We barely even touch anymore. We had a heart to heart last week and agreed to spend the full weekend together next week when he comes back into town.

 Dating, Confidence, & Sex Appeal – A Burlesque Dancer’s Perspective | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 38:07

Burlesque sensation, Pastel Supernova, joins Jess and Brandon to talk about her experiences with dating, love and relationships. She shares insights on building self confidence, loving your body, and overcoming nervousness and performance pressure. Find out more about Burlesque Uni and Love Letters Cabaret here. If you want to know more about Moontower Counseling, click here. See Pastel in action below on Global TV's The Morning Show below! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship “Distance” | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:43

Why do we develop fetishes and how can you talk to your partner about a fetish? How can you discuss spending time apart with a new partner after you’ve moved in together? Jess and Brandon discuss these topics and share their thoughts on sex smells, gift-giving and more. They’re also joined by Samantha Eitel who has an alternative take on dating profiles and “the best gift ever”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 Foot Fetishes, Sex Smells, Dating Profiles & Creating Relationship “Distance” | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:43

Why do we develop fetishes and how can you talk to your partner about a fetish? How can you discuss spending time apart with a new partner after you’ve moved in together? Jess and Brandon discuss these topics and share their thoughts on sex smells, gift-giving and more. They’re also joined by Samantha Eitel who has an alternative take on dating profiles and “the best gift ever”. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.  

 Emotional (Un)availability: How to Get Your Partner to Open Up | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 49:05

Jess and Brandon discuss what emotional unavailability might look like and they challenge the “fix-it” mentality. They share specific strategies for overcoming emotional unavailability including language and approaches to support your partner. They discuss the five languages of love, simple questions to make daily interactions more emotionally open, and emotional compatibility. **Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below** Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast brought to you by Desire Resorts and Cruises. I’m Brandon Ware. And I’m Jess O’Reilly, your friendly neighborhood sexologist. Today we’re going to talk about emotional unavailability, because a number of folks have been referencing this topic on Instagram and I posted about it last week. Emotional Unavailability isn’t a formal diagnosis, so it’s one of those terms that tends to be tossed around rather flippantly without a universal definition. Some of us are emotionally unavailable by choice and others don’t even realize that we're putting up a wall. Emotional availability often refers to the ability to talk openly about your feelings and this is a skill as opposed to a state of being. This means that emotional availability can be cultivated with effort and need not be a universal relationship deal breaker. Some signs of being currently emotional unavailable include: They avoid intimate conversations or withdraw when you bring up difficult topics. This is a good example of the fact that emotional unavailability is not a matter of character, but of skill, experience and comfort level. We’ve all avoided intimate and difficult conversations at some point in time, so you can understand why your partner might utilize avoidance behaviours. They may be trying to avoid conflict or tension. They might be distracted or stressed out by other issues in their life and simply don’t have the emotional bandwidth to open up at this time. Or they might simply not have the communication tools/skills to speak openly about intense topics. The good news, of course, is that circumstances change (you can help to put them at ease) and with practice, they can develop the skills to communicate more effectively. It’s important to note that just because you believe you’re more emotionally available, does not in fact make it so. Your perception of your own skills in biased and you can’t expect them to communicate in the same way you do; they may have a different communication style and you’ll be better off finding middle ground as opposed to expecting them to get on board with your expectations. They refuse to express vulnerability. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable requires trust, so emotional availability can increase over time as you get to know and trust one another. If you feel your partner is not opening up, I’d avoid labels like emotionally unavailable and the associated accusations altogether. You’ll find that you’re more likely to get a positive response and a willingness to consider behavioural change if you talk about how you feel as opposed to what your partner is doing wrong. For example, you might be frustrated by the fact that your partner won’t talk about sensitive and personal topics. Related to this frustration, however, may be a sense of insecurity, as you might expect someone who loves you to trust you with their most vulnerable feelings. Talk about this insecurity and what behaviours (e.g. opening up more about the past) might hep to assuage your fears as opposed to accusing your partner of being emotionally unavailable. Opening up about your own emotions including your vulnerabilities (e.g. insecurity) may foster a safe environment that encourages your partner to do the same. They cut people off without working on relationships. Not all relationships (including friendships) are intended to last forever,

 Help! I Can’t Orgasm With My Partner | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 36:19

Jess and Brandon respond to a listener who can orgasm on her own, but not with her partner. They share tips, insights, personal stories as well as practical mindfulness strategies you can try tonight. Please find a rough transcript of this podcast below... Welcome to the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast. We’re going to talk about orgasms today. We have a question from a listener. “I have been having trouble orgasming with a partner, but by myself, it’s extremely easy. I have tried to add sex toys when I’m with my partner (which is the usual way I orgasm on my own), but that didn’t even work. He feels insecure since he can’t make me orgasm and I’m embarrassed.” First - you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your orgasm is for you. It’s not about your partner — unless you’re playing with that fantasy specifically — often in a kinky way. You might allow your partner to take control of your orgasm. One example might involve orgasm denial. It can be — with consent. Orgasm denial is often practiced as BDSM and it involves maintaining arousal without allow orgasm to follow. You might bring your partner to the brink and then pull back and stop altogether. And then you can continue to repeat. You might use your hands or body or you might use chastity belts or cock cages to prevent simulation of the genitals. Some people create a whole scene or experience around orgasm denial and others simply play with it in passing. They might tease their partner that they’re going to pull back and not let them orgasm. But back to the question. Let’s begin with the basics. Your partner doesn’t really give you an orgasm. They might be a part of the process, but your body — with your brain at the helm — gives you an orgasm. They can physically and mentally be a part of the stimulation process, but ultimately, it’s your nerve endings that communicate with the brain and it’s your brain that fires in multiple regions. And then at orgasm, your brain's center of reason and behavior (the lateral orbitofrontal cortex just behind your left eye) actually shuts down momentarily allowing your animalistic needs to overpower any reservations or preoccupations. When you can orgasm on your own, but not with a partner, oftentimes it’s because you do something physically different on your own. You use toys, you use your hands, you rub on the outside, you contort your body in a natural way, you breathe differently when you’re on your own and it facilitates orgasm easily. But then when you get with a partner, you change it up. You’re more focused on penetration, you move your body for their pleasure, you control your body at different angles, you hold your breath, you hold back or exaggerate your sounds and all of those physical activities simply don’t lead to orgasm. If this is the case, you’ll want to bring your masturbation practices — the angles, the toys, the techniques into your partnered play and replicate them. And this will likely lead to orgasm. In your case, however, you use toys to orgasm and you’ve already tried bringing them in to partnered play, so you likely need to consider another angle: And that’s performance pressure. If you’re doing the exact same things with your partner as you do when you’re alone and you still can’t enjoy an orgasm when your partner is present, it’s likely a matter of mindset, mood and pressure. So first — I want you to remove the physical barriers to orgasm. Is is the way you’re positioned? Move into the position you use when you masturbate most often and have your partner work around you. Is it the setting? Try to replicate the setting in terms of location, lighting, temperature, what you’re wearing. Again, have your partner work around you. Is it the physical sensations? When you use a toy alone,

 Vaginismus: Painful Sex | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 39:12

What are the causes, symptoms and treatment options for Vaginismus? Jess shares resources and chats with her friend Meredith who shares her story of successfully overcoming Vaginismus. As mentioned on this episode, check out the work of Dr. Susie Gronski and the Pelvic Mafia! This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 How To Talk To Your Kids About Porn | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 47:57

Jess and Brandon talk about celebrity relationships (again!). Then Nadine Thornhill joins them to share practical advice on how to talk to your kids about sex, porn and body image. Follow Nadine on... Twitter Facebook Instagram Youtube Jess received a related question from a fellow listener. Here is her advice... My ex wife tells me that she caught our teenage son watching porn. She was mortified and wants me to talk to him about it. Where do I even begin? If you don’t talk to your kids about porn, Google, YouTube, SnapChat and their friends will. Oftentimes, they’re not looking for porn, but they stumble across it or their friends present it to them, so it’s essential to have conversations before they encounter this type of material. If you feel uncomfortable talking to them about porn or sex, in general, use this discomfort to open the conversation. Admit that it makes you nervous so that they learn from your ability to acknowledge vulnerable emotions. They’ll also learn that it’s important to have uncomfortable conversations. I suggest that you start by asking them if they have any questions and reminding them that it’s normal to be curious. Even if you don’t want them to watch porn, you don’t want to intensify any shame they may already feel around sex. You can let them know that porn isn’t intended for folks their age and remind them that what they see in porn isn’t what sex looks like in real life. Young people tend to learn about sex from porn because they don’t have access to other resources. And adults do the same. Offer a reminder that what they see in porn includes acting, special effects, editing, and sexual olympians. Just as they don’t learn about relationships from Jersey Shore and they don’t learn to drive watching Fast and the Furious, porn is not designed as a form of education. It can be entertaining and titillating, but it’s not produced with education in mind. Since you’re their parent, you can share your personal values related to porn and remember that your experience may not be their experience. Finally, consider offering them other resources they can turn to if they’re curious about sex. My colleague Nadine Thornhill talks about curating sexuality resources for your kids so that they don’t have to curate their own. Whether you send them to a site like Scarleteen for sex and relationship education or you direct them to erotica sites that reflect a greater diversity of bodies and more realistic interactions, it’s up to you. Regardless of your comfort level with this topic, remember that your child will inevitably seek out resources, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to be a part of the process. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 Why We All Seek Attention & Feel Insecure: The Ayesha & Steph Curry Case | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 31:39

Do you have a partner who craves attention? Do you love getting attention? How do you feel when your partner gets attention from outside sources? Jess and Brandon discuss the Ayesha and Steph Curry case and share their experience with managing insecurity, neediness, attention-seeking and more. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

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