Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast

After punching Cao Cao in the mouth, Liu Bei tries his best to keep his men from declaring him king, to no avail. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 93. Well, I hope you enjoyed our 100th episode Q&A last week. And now, let’s pick up where we left off. Last time, Cao Cao was stuck in a bad situation against Liu Bei in the region of Hanzhong. If he attacked, he wasn’t sure he’d win. What he really wanted to do was to quit the battlefield and go home, but he was afraid Liu Bei would laugh at him. But then his secretary Yang Xiu read his mind and decided to start packing for the trip home. When Cao Cao found out about this, he got really mad and executed Yang Xiu. He then gave the order to attack the next day. So the next day, Cao Cao and his army marched out of the gorge they were in and were greeted by an enemy army led by Liu Bei’s general Wei Yan. Cao Cao told Wei Yan to surrender, but Wei Yan replied with a string of expletives, so Cao Cao sent out the general Pang De to deal with him. Just as the two were dueling, Cao Cao’s camp suddenly caught on fire, and word came that Liu Bei’s general Ma Chao had launched a sneak attack on the middle and rear camps. Cao Cao, however, refused to panic. He pulled out his sword and declared, “Anyone who takes a step back will be executed!” Given this ultimatum, all of Cao Cao’s men surged forward, holding nothing back, and Wei Yan turned and fled. Now, Cao Cao split off a portion of his troops to go fight Ma Chao, while he himself watched from a high vantage point. But suddenly, a detachment of Liu Bei’s troops appeared right in front of him, and the guy at their head was none other than Wei Yan. Wei Yan let fly an arrow, and it struck Cao Cao in the face. Cao Cao tumbled off his horse, and Wei Yan tossed aside his bow, grabbed his saber, and galloped up the hill to finish the job. Just then, though, another warrior flashed onto the scene and shouted, “Do not harm my lord!” This was Pang De, and he charged forward and put up a dogged fight to defend Cao Cao, eventually fighting off Wei Yan and helping Cao Cao retreat. By now, Ma Chao had called off his raid of Cao Cao’s camp, so Cao Cao was able to limp back to what remained of that camp. Fortunately for him, Wei Yan’s arrow had struck him in the mouth, taking out two front teeth but leaving him otherwise unharmed, and Cao Cao was ok after getting some treatment.   After this embarrassing setback, Cao Cao finally realized that Yang Xiu, his dead secretary, was right after all. So he ordered that Yang Xiu’s body be given a, you guessed it, fancy funeral, and then Cao Cao led his army toward home. He told the general Pang De to bring up the rear so as to fend off any enemy pursuit. Cao Cao himself rode in a carriage, licking his wounds while surrounded by his imperial guard. Suddenly, word came that both sides of the canyon they were in were on fire, and that an enemy force had sprung out of hiding and was in hot pursuit. Turns out that Zhuge Liang figured Cao Cao was going to abandon Hanzhong and quit the fight, so he dispatched 10 detachments of troops to stage on-and-off surprise attacks as Cao Cao’s army limped home. The morale of Cao Cao’s men was in the gutter, and they couldn’t get out of Hanzhong fast enough.  

We’ve made it to 100 episodes! So let’s throw it open to some questions. * Transcript * Comparison of ROTK with Game of Thrones Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast 100th episode extravaganza. Yes, I know, we’re only at episode 92 in the narrative, but counting the seven supplemental episodes I’ve done, this IS the 100th episode since we began our podcast journey through the Romance of the Three Kingdoms. I know I’ve said this before, but thank you all for your support of this podcast. Knowing that more and more people are checking out the show and discovering the novel through it is a huge part of what keeps me doing this. I love all the comments you’ve sent, so keep them coming. With the podcast celebrating its 100th episode, I figured that’s as good an excuse as any to pause the narrative for a day and mark the occasion with a question-and-answer session. A number of you have sent in questions, to which I have some long-winded answers, as the length of this episode suggests. So let’s get to it.   Listener Kyle asked, and I’m paraphrasing a bit here: What happens after the Three Kingdoms period? To answer this question without giving away too many spoilers for those of you who don’t know how the novel ends, I’m going to refrain from talking about how the Three Kingdoms period ended or who ultimately came out on top, and just focus on what happened afterward. Actually, the novel kind of gives away the ending anyway with its first line: Ever since antiquity, domains under heaven, after a long period of division, tend to unite. The Three Kingdoms period officially ended in the year 280, almost 100 years after when the novel began, and the empire was reconsolidated under the rule of the Jin (4) Dynasty. However, the Jin was not one of the more long-lasting dynasties in Chinese history. It had problems from the beginning. The government was corrupt, and its ranks were filled with officials who received their positions because they were close with the ruling family rather than anything having to do with talent, skills, or character. The trouble ran all the way to the top of the regime. The founding emperor of the Jin Dynasty more or less just inherited his enterprise, so he wasn’t someone who had to fight for everything he got, like a Cao Cao or Liu Bei. He listened to sycophants and was way too fond of women. In fact, he actually banned everyone in the empire from getting married for a whole year so that he could have his pick of all the pretty young girls in the realm for his palace. When things were this bad at the top, you can imagine how that trickled down through the ranks. Truly, the entire governing apparatus was just rotting from the inside out. Things got worse when this founding emperor died. He only had one living son, so he named that son as the heir apparent. However, this son had a developmental disability and really was not up to the task of governing. The founding emperor placed him in the hands of a trusted regent, but as soon as the founding emperor breathed his last in the year 290 — 10 years after the empire was reunited — things started to hit the fan. The new emperor, the one with the developmental disability, became a mere puppet, and his 17-year reign was marked by one power struggle after another between various factions vying to play the puppeteer. One of those factions was his wife, who lived up to every wicked female trope in Chinese history and literature as she vici...

Cao Cao can’t even get a good night’s sleep as he tries to dislodge Liu Bei from the banks of the Han River. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 92. Last time, Liu Bei was on a roll against Cao Cao in the region of Hanzhong. First, Liu Bei’s general Huang Zhong took over a series of key locations and killed one of Cao Cao’s kinsmen and top generals, Xiahou Yuan. Then, when Cao Cao personally came to avenge his kinsman, Liu Bei’s forces burned his provisions and sent him scurrying back to his home base. Undaunted, Cao Cao set out once again, trying to dislodge Liu Bei from his position along the Han (4) River. Cao Cao sent the generals Xu Huang and Wang Ping to lead the vanguard and attack. When they arrived at the river, Xu Huang, the commander, ordered his troops to cross the river and line up in battle formation, but Wang Ping, his second in command, disagreed. “If we cross the river, what will we do if we need to retreat quickly?” Wang Ping asked, pointing out that once they cross over to the other side, they will have their backs against the river, which was not a very strategically sound place to be. Xu Huang, however, was not swayed. “The great Han general Han (2) Xin (4) once had his troops line up with their backs to the water, forcing them to fight to the death so that they may live,” he said. So what Xu Huang was referencing here was a famous battle during the founding of the Han dynasty. Han (2) Xin (4), the commander of the Han army deployed his forces with their backs against a river, which went against every rule in the book. But Han Xin was a genius, so he could throw out the book. Unfortunately, his success that day has also become a convenient excuse for many a less talented general trying to justify doing the same thing when they really, really shouldn’t, and Wang Ping pointed out as much. “When Han Xin did that, he knew the enemy was not smart enough to take advantage,” Wang Ping said. “Can you say the same for the enemy generals Zhao Yun and Huang Zhong?” Xu Huang, however, was done arguing and made an executive decision. “You will lead the infantry into battle, and watch as I break the enemy with the cavalry,” he said as he ordered his men to deploy pontoons and begin crossing.   When Liu Bei got word that Xu Huang was setting up camp with his back to the river, his generals Huang Zhong and Zhao Yun both volunteered to go meet the enemy, so Liu Bei sent both of them. “Xu Huang is pressing ahead on courage alone,” Huang Zhong said to Zhao Yun. “Let’s not fight him just yet. By evening, his men will be tired, and then we can each lead a battalion and attack.” Zhao Yun agreed, so they each led a battalion and set up barricades. Xu Huang’s army began to challenge for combat at sunrise, but from dawn to dusk, the Shu troops made no movement. Now, Xu Huang sent his archers forward to fire at the Shu camp. Seeing this, Huang Zhong said to Zhao Yun, “Xu Huang must be preparing to fall back. Let’s get ready to strike.” He had barely finished speaking when word arrived that the rear of Xu Huang’s army was indeed moving out. Now, the Shu army let loose with its war drums and battle cries as Huang Zhong dashed out from the left and Zhao Yun charged forth from the right. The pincer attack crushed Xu Huang’s army,

Huang Zhong performs more heroic deeds, then Zhao Yun says to Cao Cao, “Hey, remember me?” * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 91. Last time, Cao Cao and Liu Bei were gearing up for a clash over control of the region of Hanzhong. Liu Bei’s general Huang Zhong was camped out in front of Mount Dingjun (4,1), a key location for Cao Cao’s defenses in the region. The commander of Cao Cao’s forces on Mount Dingjun was Xiahou Yuan, and he was being assisted by a couple officers who had already suffered defeats at the hands of Huang Zhong — the general Zhang He and Xiahou Yuan’s nephew, Xiahou Shang (4). Once Cao Cao brought his army into the region, he gave Xiahou Yuan the go-ahead to engage Huang Zhong, so Xiahou Yuan drew up a scheme. The first part of the scheme involved his nephew Xiahou Shang going out to take on Huang Zhong and feigning defeat to lure the enemy in.   As for Huang Zhong, he and his adviser Fa Zheng were camped out at the entrance of the mountain. He had gone to challenge for battle numerous times, but Xiahou Yuan refused to come out. Huang Zhong thought about advancing his army up the mountain to press the issue, but the roads were treacherous, and he was also worried about enemy ambushes, so he stayed put. Then, one day, word came that the enemy had come down from its mountain base to pick a fight. Huang Zhong was ready to go meet them, but one of his officers, a man named Chen (2) Shi (4), volunteered to go instead. So Huang Zhong gave Chen Shi (4) 1,000 men to go answer the challenge. When the two sides met, Xiahou Shang and Chen Shi traded blows for a few bouts, at which point Xiahou Shang turned and ran, just like the plan called for. Chen Shi gave chase, but before long, he ran into a little surprise. Suddenly, logs and boulders rolled down the mountainside and blocked his path forward. Just as he was about to turn around, Xiahou Yuan appeared from behind him with an army and attacked. Chen Shi was no match for one of Cao Cao’s top generals, and Xiahou Yuan easily captured him alive. Most of the men under Chen Shi’s command surrendered, though some did manage to escape and reported back to Huang Zhong.   When Huang Zhong heard what happened, he immediately huddled with his adviser Fa Zheng. “Xiahou Yuan is a volatile man,” Fa Zheng said. “He relies on his courage and rarely plans things out. We must inspire our troops and lead them forward, entrenching as we go. That will spur Xiahou Yuan to come fight us, giving us the chance to defeat him. This is called ‘reversing the roles of host and guest.’ ” Huang Zhong adopted this plan. He handed out handsome rewards to his troops, and the sounds of their happy cheers filled the canyon. With the troops properly motivated, Huang Zhong broke camp and moved them out that very day. At each stop along the way, they would build a new camp and stay a few days before pushing farther forward. When Xiahou Yuan got wind of this, he wanted to go attack Huang Zhong, but the general Zhang He told him, “They’re trying to reverse the roles of host and guest. We must not go fight them, or we would lose.” Xiahou Yuan refused to listen, though, and sent his nephew Xiahou Shang out with a few thousand men. Xiahou Shang marched to Huang Zhong’s camp, where Huang Zhong came out to meet him.

With the battle for Hanzhong in full swing, Liu Bei sends a senior citizen to chase off some rowdy kids. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 90. Last time, the forces of Liu Bei and Cao Cao were going at it in the region of Hanzhong. One of Cao Cao’s generals, Zhang He, was routed by Liu Bei’s brother Zhang Fei, losing almost his entire army of 30,000 men. When Zhang He ran back to his commander Cao Hong, Cao Hong was incensed and wanted to execute Zhang He. Fortunately for Zhang He, one of Cao Hong’s officers, Guo (1) Huai (2), chimed in and said, “Building an army is easy; finding a general is hard. Even though Zhang He is at fault, he is well-liked by the King of Wei and must not be lightly executed. We can order him to lead 5,000 men to attack Jiameng (1,2) Pass. That would force Liu Bei to redeploy his forces, and peace will naturally be restored in this region. If he fails, then you can punish for both offenses.” Cao Hong simmered down a bit when he heard this, so he gave Zhang He another 5,000 men and sent him off to attack Jiameng (1,2) Pass. Jiameng Pass was a key location near the borders between Hanzhong and the Western Riverlands. It was being defended by the officers Meng (4) Da (2) and Huo (4) Jun (4). When they heard the enemy was coming, Meng Da insisted on going out to fight, despite his comrade’s advice to the contrary. So out went Meng Da, and moments later, back in came Meng Da, having received a beatdown by Zhang He. So now, they hurriedly sent off an urgent dispatch to Liu Bei in the city of Chengdu.   When Liu Bei got word of this, he consulted Zhuge Liang, and Zhuge Liang assembled the officer corps and said, “There’s an urgent situation at Jiameng Pass. We must go fetch General Zhang Fei; he’s the only one who can defeat Zhang He.” “But General Zhang is currently defending another important location,” the adviser Fa (3) Zheng (4) said. “We cannot redeploy him. We must pick an officer from among those here to repel Zhang He.” “But Zhang He is a famous general of the North,” Zhuge Liang said with a smile. “Ordinary folks are no match for him. No one but Zhang Fei is up to this task.” Well, as you might imagine, somebody among the officers present was bound to take offense to this remark. It was like Zhuge Liang was deliberately trying to rile them up, not that he would ever do anything like that. “Director general, why do you hold us in such low regard?” a stern voice boomed. “Even though I am untalented, I am willing to go get Zhang He’s head and present it to you!” Everyone looked and saw that it was the old general Huang Zhong who had spoken. “General Huang,” Zhuge Liang said, “your valor is unquestioned, but you’re nonetheless getting up there in age. I worry you would not be a match for Zhang He.” When Huang Zhong heard that, the white hairs on his head stood up, and he said, “I may be old, but my arms can still pull a strong bow, and my body still possesses plenty of strength. How can I not be a match for that nobody Zhang He?!” “But general, you’re nearing 70; how can you not show signs of age?” Zhuge Liang said, continuing to egg on Huang Zhong. Huang Zhong now stomped out of the hall, grabbed a big saber off the weapons rack, and spinned it in his hands like windmill. Then,

You are a court official. Cao Cao just put down a coup, and now he’s asking whether you helped put out the fire started by the rebels or just stayed home. What would you say? * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 89. Last time, we left off in the middle of yet another conspiracy to overthrow Cao Cao. The conspirators attacked the camp of the royal guard in the capital Xuchang on the night of a major holiday celebration. The idea was to secure the emperor and the city, and then attack Yejun (4,4), the city where Cao Cao was living la vida loca as the King of Wei. The rebels managed to wound the commander of the royal guard, Wang Bi (4), but he managed to slip away. First, he tried to find refuge at the home of his good friend Jin (1) Yi (4), only to learn, by accident, that his friend was actually one of the conspirators. Shocked by this revelation, Wang Bi now turned and ran to the home of Cao Xiu (1), one of Cao Cao’s nephews and officers. There, he told Cao Xiu about the coup, and Cao Xiu sprang into action. Donning his armor, he led about 1,000 soldiers out into the city and engaged in street fighting with the rebels. While this was going on, the city was being engulfed in cries of “Exterminate all of Cao Cao’s traitors; support the House of Han!” That, and flames, lots and lots of flames. The fire even reached the Tower of the Five Phoenixes, where, according to the conspirators’ plan, the emperor was supposed to be safe and sound so that he could make a public denunciation of Cao Cao so as to give the uprising legitimacy. Oops. So much for that. Instead, the emperor was hiding deep inside his palace, while Cao Cao’s people doggedly guarded the palace gates against any intruders. Or maybe, just maybe, a ragtag group of no-name conspirators and their house servants weren’t quite up to the task of cutting their way through the palace guards.   And to make sure that this ill-conceived coup completely blew up in the conspirators’ faces, an army loyal to Cao Cao arrived outside the city just now. It was led by Cao Cao’s kinsman and trusted commander Xiahou Dun, who was stationed a couple miles outside the capital and whose job it was to patrol the city. That night, when he saw fire flaring up inside the city, he immediately brought his troops to help. Somehow, the conspirators didn’t account for this, which kind of boggles the mind. I mean, even if you and your little band of house servants did somehow take the city, how were you going to hold out against a siege by a professional army 30,000 strong? Said professional army now surrounded the city and sent a force inside to reinforce Cao Xiu. So now, the conspirators, who only had about 1,000 untrained men, were going up against a much larger force, made up of seasoned soldiers led by veteran generals. Yeah, this will not end well for the conspirators. The fight lasted until dawn. By then, the coup was dead, along with most of the rebels. The two lead conspirators, Geng (3) Ji (4) and Wei (4) Huang (2), only had 100-some men left inside the city. Their three fellow conspirators — Jin (1) Yi (4) and the two Ji (2) brothers — were supposed to provide reinforcement, but they had all been killed. Geng (3) Ji (4) and Wei (4) Huang (2) tried to flee from the city, but of course there’s an army presently surrounding the capital,

We make virtually no progress in the narrative this week as we get tangled up in mysticism, superstition, and oh yeah, another conspiracy to overthrow Cao Cao. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 88. So last time, Cao Cao had just become the King of Wei, but he got a strange visit from a strange Taoist priest named Zuo Ci. This guy first threatened to cut off Cao Cao’s head if he did not abdicate and yield his title to Liu Bei. Cao Cao threw him in prison for that, but Zuo Ci was impervious to all forms of torture and no chains could hold him. He then crashed a banquet that Cao Cao was throwing for his officials. At this party, Zuo Ci wowed the guests with one trick after another, but Cao Cao remained a nonbeliever and more than a little suspicious. So, when Zuo Ci offered him a cup of wine that allegedly promised long life, Cao Cao understandably declined. “You drink first,” Cao Cao said. Zuo Ci now pulled out a jade hairpin from his hair and with one stroke, he divided the wine into two halves, which was an impressive feat. He drank half and offered the other half to Cao Cao, but Cao Cao scoffed. Zuo Ci now tossed the cup up in the air, and it turned into a white turtledove and flew away. As all the officials looked up at the dove, they suddenly noticed that, hey, Zuo Ci was gone. “He went out through the palace gates,” attendants told them. “Such a black magician must be eliminated, or he will surely cause harm,” Cao Cao said. So he ordered the general Xu Chu to lead 300 armored soldiers to chase down Zuo Ci and arrest him.   So Xu Chu and company rode out to the city gates, where they spotted Zuo Ci casually strolling up ahead in his wooden clogs. Xu Chu spurred on his horse, but no matter how fast he was riding and how slowly Zuo Ci was walking, Xu Chu just could not make up any ground on him. This strange chase went on until they went up a mountain. A young shepherd just happened to be coming their way with his flock of sheep. Zuo Ci walked right into this flock. Xu Chu pulled out his bow and arrow, but could find no sign of Zuo Ci. Well then, better to be safe than sorry, Xu Chu thought to himself, and he proceeded to slaughter the entire flock of sheep before heading back. The poor little shepherd was left weeping by the carcasses of his dead sheep, having lost his flock for seemingly no reason at all. But suddenly, one of the sheep’s head that Xu Chu had severed spoke to the child as it laid on the ground, “Put the heads of the sheep back on their bodies.” Uhh … ok, now this is getting really freaky. The kid certainly thought so, as he covered his face and began to run away. But he soon heard someone calling out from behind, “No need to run away. Here’s your sheep back.” The kid turned around and saw that Zuo Ci had already revived all the dead sheep. The kid was just about to ask what the hell is going on, but Zuo Ci simply flicked his sleeve and departed like the wind. In the span of just a few seconds, he had vanished.   The shepherd, half frightened out of his mind and half relieved at getting his flock back, told his master what had transpired. His master thought that he best report this to Cao Cao. Cao Cao ordered that drawings of Zuo Ci’s likeness be posted everywhere, along with an order for his arrest. Well,

After a general risks life and limb to save him, Sun Quan makes sure everyone appreciates the sacrifice. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 87. Last time, Cao Cao and Sun Quan were engaged in a fierce battle on the river banks near the key location of Ruxu (2,1). Sun Quan, in an attempt to rescue the trapped officer Xu Sheng, stormed into the enemy lines, but soon found himself enveloped. The veteran general Zhou Tai fought his way out but then had to go back in to find Sun Quan. The first time he found Sun Quan, he tried to take the lead and fight their way out, but lost Sun Quan in the chaos. So Zhou Tai went back in again and again found Sun Quan. “My lord, you go in front this time, and I will follow close behind to help you break out!” Zhou Tai told him. So they switched places, with Sun Quan leading the way and Zhou Tai right behind him to cover his back. This time, they managed to break through together, but boy did Zhou Tai pay for it. He suffered several stab wounds from spears, and a number of arrows had pierced his heavy armor. But still, they were free, and now the general Lü Meng came to their rescue with a fleet of ships, and they hurried Sun Quan onto one of the ships. “Thanks to three valiant tries by Zhou Tai, I was able to break free,” Sun Quan said. “But Xu Sheng is still trapped in the center. How can we save him?” “I will go in again to save him,” Zhou Tai said. Without hesitation, he galloped back into the fray with spear in hand. Moments later, he and Xu Sheng both emerged, both bearing severe wounds. Lü Meng helped them onto the ship while his troops kept the enemy at bay on land with a barrage of arrows. Now, when people talk about feats of valor and courage in the novel, the episode that people mention first and most often is Zhao Yun slicing through Cao Cao’s army at Changban Hill with Liu Bei’s infant son strapped to his chest. But I’ve got to say, what Zhou Tai just did — fighting through Cao Cao’s army three times to rescue Sun Quan and then going back in again to rescue a fellow officer despite already being wounded — should rank right up there, too.   At the same time Zhou Tai was doing his heroic deeds, at another part of the river bank, the Dongwu general Chen Wu was engaged in a fierce fight against Cao Cao’s general Pang De. Lacking reinforcements, Chen Wu fell back to the mouth of a canyon, where the path became thick with trees. Chen Wu now tried to turn around and fight Pang De some more, but just as he turned, his cloak got snagged on a tree branch. Entangled, Chen Wu could not raise his weapon to defend himself, and he became an easy kill for Pang De, who showed no mercy. Meanwhile, things were getting a bit dicey for Sun Quan again. He had made it to the relative safety of Lü Meng’s ships, but once Cao Cao got wind of this, he personally led his troops to the bank of the river and had them fire arrows at the ships. Lü Meng’s men fired back, but soon they were out of arrows. So, now what? Just as Sun Quan and company were panicking, help arrived in the form of a fleet of Dongwu ships. These were under the command of Lu (4) Xun (4), who was married to the daughter of Sun Quan’s brother Sun Ce. His ships carried 100,000 men and plenty of arrows, which they used to shoot back Cao Cao’s troops.

Sun Quan tries to wrestle some territory away from Cao Cao, while at the same time playing peacemaker between two of his own officers. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 86. Last time, Cao Cao had taken the Eastern Riverlands and was just starting to think about marching on the western half of the region as well. But a little diplomatic play by Liu Bei, who now controlled that western half, convinced Sun Quan to mobilize the troops of the Southlands to attack Cao Cao’s strongholds in the southeast to force him to redeploy his forces. First up in Sun Quan’s crosshairs was the city of Wancheng (3,2). At the behest of his general Lü Meng, Sun Quan laid siege to the city at first light. His troops were met by a hailstorm of boulders and arrows, but the Dongwu general Gan Ning was not deterred. Wielding an iron chain, Gan Ning climbed up the city wall, braving the onslaught of projectiles. The governor of the city told his archers to take aim at Gan Ning, but Gan Ning swatted aside their arrows, hopped on to the top of the wall, and with one swing of his chain, knocked the governor to the ground. With Lü Meng personally banging the war drums to spur his men on, the Dongwu troops stormed the wall and cut the governor to pieces. With their leader dead, the soldiers defending the city lost heart, and most of them surrendered. So the city belonged to Sun Quan. Before the battle, Lü Meng had told Sun Quan that if they threw everything they had at the city, it would be taken by noon. It was now early evening, so it didn’t go quite as quickly as Lü Meng predicted, but it was good enough, as the Dongwu forces accomplished their objective: Take the city before enemy reinforcements could get there. Speaking of those reinforcements, Cao Cao’s general Zhang Liao, who was keeping watch over this region from the city of Hefei, was on his way to Wancheng (3,2) to try to break the siege, but he was only halfway there when his scouts reported back that the city had already been sacked. There was little point in continuing now, so Zhang Liao turned his troops around and went back to Hefei to prepare for the attack that was sure to come.   Meanwhile, Sun Quan threw a big party inside his newly conquered city to reward his troops. At this party, which Sun Quan did not attend, the generals Lü Meng and Gan Ning were placed in the seats of honor for their parts in conquering the city. The wine began to flow, but after it had been flowing for a while, trouble began. Also at the party was the general Ling (2) Tong (3). Some of you may remember from way back in the story that back in the day, Ling Tong’s father had been killed in battle by Gan Ning when they were on opposite sides of a war. Ling Tong, understandably, had been holding a grudge ever since, even after Gan Ning had changed sides and now served the same master as he. Sun Quan had been able to keep this under control for the most part by assigning the two of them to posts that were nowhere near each other to keep them out of each other’s sights and minds. But now, they were all sitting under one roof, and what’s worse, Ling Tong had to listen to praise being heaped on Gan Ning for his valor during that day’s battle. Pretty soon, the slow burn inside Ling Tong had worked itself up to a full-on rage,

Another foe bows to Cao Cao’s might. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 85. Last time, Cao Cao decided to go out a-conquerin’ again, this time setting his sights on the region of Hanzhong, which was controlled by Zhang Lu. Zhang Lu sent his brother Zhang Wei (4), along with the generals Yang (2) Ang (2) and Yang (2) Ren (4) to meet the enemy at the stronghold of Yangping (2,2) Pass. So they went and set up a series of camps in front of the pass and waited for Cao Cao’s army. Cao Cao’s vanguard, led by the generals Xiahou Yuan (1) and Zhang He (2), approached the pass, and when they heard that enemy forces had already camped out there, they decided to set up camp about five miles away. Their men were exhausted from the march, and that night they all settled in for some sweet slumber when suddenly, a fire broke out behind their camp, and enemy forces swept in from two sides. By the time Xiahou Yuan and Zhang He got on their horses, enemy troops had swarmed into their camp, and their army was crushed. Xiahou Yuan and Zhang He managed to escape, and they ran back to meet Cao Cao, who was marching with the main army. “You two have been with the army for many years!” Cao Cao said angrily. “How can you not understand that when your troops are exhausted from a long march, you must guard against a raid?! Why were you not prepared?!” Cao Cao was so angry that he wanted to execute the two losing generals, and these were no third-rate officers. They had been two of his top warriors for a long time, and Xiahou Yuan was his kinsman. Luckily for them, the other officers spoke up in their favor and convinced Cao Cao to spare them. The next day, Cao Cao personally led his troops toward Yangping Pass. Along the way, he noticed how treacherous the mountainous terrain was, and how thick the woods were. On top of that, he wasn’t sure which was the right path and was worried about an ambush, so he turned around and headed back to his camp. Once back at camp, Cao Cao said to two of his top generals, Xu Chu and Xu Huang, “If I had known this area was so treacherous, I would not have come here.” “But we ARE here, my lord,” Xu Chu said. “We must not begrudge the labor.” The next day, Cao Cao rode out with just Xu Chu and Xu Huang, and the three of them went to scout out the enemy camp. When they made the turn around the foot of a hill, they spotted the enemy camps in the distance. “Such strong fortifications cannot be taken quickly,” Cao Cao said as he pointed with his whip. Before he had finished speaking, a cry rang out from behind them, and arrows rained down in torrents as two squads of enemy troops charged toward them. Cao Cao was caught off guard by this surprise attack. Xu Chu, however, was like, yeah, bring it on! “I will fight the enemy!” he shouted to his comrade Xu Huang. “You defend our lord!” And so Xu Chu galloped forth with saber in hand to take on the enemy generals Yang Ang (2) and Yang Ren (4). They were no match for him and quickly fell back. The rest of their troops, seeing their commanders running away, said yeah, thanks but no thanks. We won’t run away, but we aren’t going to charge forward to our death either. That allowed Xu Huang and Cao Cao to get away. When they ran back behind the hill, they were met by their own reinforcements.

A long overdue farewell to Dongwu’s military genius, who had the misfortune of being alive in the time of Zhuge Liang. Or at least, that’s how the novel tells it. * Transcript Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is a supplemental episode. It’s been awhile since I had time to put together a supplemental episode, so this is a long overdue farewell to Zhou Yu, the brilliant but not-quite-brilliant-enough Dongwu commander who, in the novel, was foiled time and again by Zhuge Liang, to the point where he became so aggravated that he died in episode 70. In this episode, we’ll delve into the differences between the real and fictional Zhou Yu, and as we will see, the real-life Zhou Yu may have a good case for a defamation suit against Luo (2) Guanzhong (3,4), the author of the novel.   The novel actually stays fairly true to reality for the part of Zhou Yu’s life leading up to the Battle of Red Cliff. During his youth, he became good friends with Sun Ce, the man who would go on to conquer much of the Southlands. The two became acquainted when Sun Ce’s father, Sun Jian, relocated his family to Zhou Yu’s hometown before going off to join the coalition against Dong Zhuo. Zhou Yu’s family was a distinguished one, having served key positions in the government for two generations. When Sun Jian’s family moved into town, Zhou Yu graciously allowed them to stay in his residence, and he and Sun Ce became very tight. Later on, Zhou Yu’s uncle was appointed the governor of Danyang (1,2), and Zhou Yu followed him there, while Sun Ce served under Yuan Shu after his father was killed. Like in the novel, when Sun Ce decided to make his play for the Southlands and conquer himself a little piece of the empire, Zhou Yu rallied to his banner and helped him achieve victory. But in the novel, we don’t really get any discussion of what Zhou Yu did after Sun Ce took over the Southlands. One might assume he just stayed on with Sun Ce, but this was not so. He actually returned to his uncle, at the behest of Sun Ce, who told Zhou Yu that he had plenty enough manpower to finish mop-up duties in the Southlands and that Zhou Yu should go back to hold down the fort at Danyang. Not long after this, though, Yuan Shu sent his younger brother to replace Zhou Yu’s uncle as the governor of Danyang, and Zhou Yu and his uncle moved to Shochun (4,1), Yuan Shu’s seat of power. That kind of left Zhou Yu without a gig. Yuan Shu wanted to bring Zhou Yu into his service, but Zhou Yu deduced, correctly, that Yuan Shu wasn’t going to amount to anything. So Zhou Yu simply asked Yuan Shu to allow him to serve as a mere county head in a place called Juchao (1,2). Yuan Shu granted this request, but he would soon regret it, because Zhou Yu had no intention of staying in Juchao (1,2). He just wanted permission to go there because it was a convenient place to hop across the Yangzi (2,3) River and enter the territory of Dongwu, which he did in 198 and was greeted personally by Sun Ce. Sun Ce appointed him to a key post and gave him 2,000 men and 50 horses. At this time, Zhou Yu was just 24, and the people of Dongwu took to calling him Zhou Lang (2), which means the Young Zhou, or Zhou the Youth. This nickname, coined in adoration, would stick with Zhou Yu at least in the novel. But it would often come to be used dismissively, as a way to mock Zhou Yu as inexperienced. In the year 200, just two years after Zhou Yu joined Sun Ce, Sun Ce died from wounds he suffered in an assassination attempt, but we could see Zhou Yu had already achieved a high standing in Dongwu at this point by t...

Guan Yu brings a really big knife to a land dispute. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 84. Last time, after Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang gave Dongwu another runaround over Jing Province, Sun Quan said enough was enough and demanded that his top commander Lu Su do something. Lu Su decided to invite Guan Yu, the guardian of Jing Province, to a banquet on Dongwu’s side of the river, where Lu Su would press for the return of the province, and if Guan Yu refused, Lu Su would unleash an ambush to kill him. Guan Yu was not blind. He knew it was a trap, but perhaps blinded by pride, he decided not only to attend the banquet, but to only take a handful of men with him. On the morning of the feast, Lu Su’s men spotted a single boat, manned by just a few people, coming toward them in the distance. The boat bore a red flag that flapped in the wind, and the flag displayed the giant character for Guan. As the boat drew closer, they saw Guan Yu sitting on board, dressed in a green battle robe and sporting a blue-green head scarf. Next to him was his faithful follower Zhou (1) Cang (1), who carried his Green Dragon Saber. Behind them stood eight or nine stout men, each wearing a broadsword around his waist. Lu Su was taken aback, partly by Guan Yu’s awesome appearance and partly by how few men he had brought with him. I mean, I know this guy is not dumb. He knows he’s walking into a trap, right? Well, in any case, Lu Su welcomed Guan Yu into the banquet hall and the wine began to flow. But even as he raised his cup to toast Guan Yu, Lu Su was so intimidated that he dared not look Guan Yu straight in the eye. For his part, Guan Yu simply talked and laughed like nothing was going on. After they had been drinking for a while, Lu Su got down to business. “General, I have something to say, and I hope you will lend me your ear,” Lu Su said. “Previously, the imperial uncle asked me to vouch for him to my lord so that he may borrow Jing Province as a temporary foothold. He promised to return it after he conquered the Riverlands. Now, he has the Riverlands, but Jing Province still has not been returned. Isn’t he breaking his promise?” “This is a state matter and should not be discussed at a banquet,” Guan Yu said. But Lu Su was not going to be dismissed so easily. “My lord only has the piddly region of the Southlands, and yet he was willing to lend Jing Province to your master when he had just been defeated and had nothing,” Lu Su said. “Now that your lord has Yi Province, it’s only right that he should return Jing Province. Even though the imperial uncle has agreed to give back three counties, you, general, refuse to obey. How is that right?” “At the Battle of Red Cliff, my brother personally braved slings and arrows to lead the destruction of the enemy,” Guan Yu said. “How can such merits go unrewarded? How can you come and ask for that territory now?” Well, first of all, it’s a little bit of an exaggeration to say Liu Bei braved slings and arrows at the Battle of Red Cliff, because from what I can remember, he pretty much just sat and watched as Zhuge Liang gave out orders, and then sat and watched as his generals did the fighting. Second, it’s a huge overstatement to say he led the destruction of the enemy, since, hello, Dongwu did do the bulk of the Cao Cao-busting.

Liu Bei comes into some new possessions, and then tries to wiggle out of having to pay back his creditors in Dongwu. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 83. Last time, Liu Zhang had reached out to his nemesis Zhang Lu for help against Liu Bei. Zhang Lu sent the general Ma Chao to lead a relief force, but Ma Chao ended up joining Liu Bei and volunteered to go force Liu Zhang to surrender. When Liu Zhang saw the help he had been waiting on showing up on his doorstep demanding his surrender, he collapsed on the wall of the city of Chengdu. When his officials brought him back around, he lamented, “I was blind! And now it’s too late for regrets! Let’s open the gates and surrender, so as to save the civilians.” One of his officials objected. “We still have more than 30,000 troops inside the city and enough money and provisions to last us a year. How can we just surrender?” But Liu Zhang would not hear of it. “My father and I have reigned in Shu for 20-some years and have not done anything for the people,” he said. “After three years of war, the fields are covered with blood and bodies, and it is all my fault. How can I live with myself? I would rather surrender to protect the people.” These words made everyone around him tear up, but just then, someone spoke up and said, “My lord, your words are in accordance with heaven.” This was a man named Qiao (2) Zhou (1), and he was known for his knowledge of astrology. Liu Zhang asked him to elaborate, and Qiao (2) Zhou (1) said, “When I observed the night sky, I saw many stars clustered over Shu, and the main star was as bright as the moon. This is the imperial sign. Also, a year ago, there was a children’s limerick that said, ‘If you want fresh rice, you must wait until the First Ruler comes.’ This is a clear omen. We must not go against heaven’s will.” A couple of the loyal officials, like Huang Quan and Liu Ba (1), were outraged by these words and wanted to kill this Qiao (2) Zhou (1), but Liu Zhang stopped them. Just then, word came that the district governor of Shu had already said see ya later and slipped out of the city to surrender to Liu Bei. Seeing his men abandoning him, Liu Zhang wept bitterly and returned to his residence.   The next morning, Liu Bei sent his aide Jian (3) Yong (1) to request an audience with Liu Zhang. Liu Zhang ordered the gates to be opened, and Jian Yong entered in his carriage. As he rode through the streets, he was feeling and acting mighty smug, until suddenly, an official named Qin (2) Mi (4) pulled out a sword and shouted, “Just because you upstarts got your way, do you think you are above us all? How dare you slight us, the worthy men of Shu?!” This little outburst set Jian Yong straight, and he immediately got out of his carriage to greet Qin (2) Mi (4). “Forgive me, sir. I did not recognize you,” he said. Thus somewhat appeased, Qin Mi accompanied Jian Yong to go see Liu Zhang. Jian Yong told Liu Zhang how Liu Bei was generous and magnanimous and bore no ill will toward him, nevermind that big army he’s got parked outside your city. This convinced Liu Zhang to make up his mind and surrender.   The next day, Liu Zhang personally carried his seal and cord of command, along with other paperwork, and rode out of the city with Jian Yong in his carriage.

Zhang Fei and Ma Chao collide in a battle for the ages. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcripts PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 82. Last time, with Liu Bei tightening the noose around his metaphorical neck, Liu Zhang was so desperate for help that he turned to his long-time nemesis Zhang Lu, promising to give him 20 districts if he helped repel Liu Bei’s invasion. Zhang Lu agreed and sent his new acquisition, the general Ma Chao, to lead an army to attack Liu Bei. Meanwhile, Liu Bei was on the move, marching toward the key city of Mianzhu (2,2), which laid between him and his ultimate destination, Liu Zhang’s power base at the city of Chengdu. Liu Zhang had sent reinforcements to garrison Mianzhu, and this force was led by two men, Fei (4) Guan (1), who was Liu Zhang’s brother-in-law, and Li (3) Yan (2). When they heard that Liu Bei was coming their way, Fei Guan sent Li Yan out to meet the enemy. Li Yan led 3,000 men out to meet the oncoming force. Once they lined up, Liu Bei’s general Huang Zhong rode out and faced Li Yan. They fought for 40-some bouts without either man getting the upperhand. Zhuge Liang now ordered the gong to be sounded to signal retreat. Huang Zhong returned to his lines and asked, “I was just about to capture Li Yan, why did you call me back?” “From what I can see, Li Yan cannot be defeated by force,” Zhuge Liang said. “Tomorrow we will take him on again. At that time, you will pretend to lose and lure him into following you into a canyon, where we will stage an ambush to defeat him.”   So the next day, Li Yan came to meet them again, and this time, Huang Zhong fought him for less than 10 bouts before feigning defeat and leading his men in retreat. Li Yan gave chase and followed them into the nearby canyon. After he entered the canyon, Li Yan suddenly realized he was being played and quickly turned around, but by then, Liu Bei’s general Wei Yan had already blocked his path with a squad of soldiers. Now, Zhuge Liang shouted to Li Yan from atop a hill: “Sir, if you do not surrender, I have strong crossbows set up on both sides, ready to avenge Pang Tong.” Well, this was enough to convince Li Yan to dismount, pull off his armor, and surrender, just like so many of his Riverlands buddies. Not a single one of his soldiers came to any harm. Zhuge Liang brought him to go see Liu Bei, who treated him with great kindness. “Even though Fei Guan (1) is Liu Zhang’s relative, he and I are very close,” Li Yan said to Liu Bei. “I will go persuade him to surrender.” So Liu Bei sent Li Yan back to the city, where Li Yan told his friend how wonderful Liu Bei was. And oh yeah, if you don’t surrender, there’s gonna be hell to pay. Tempted by the carrot and mindful of the big stick, Fei Guan (1) quickly surrendered as well, flinging the gates open for Liu Bei. So now, Liu Bei had a clear path to Chengdu.   But before Liu Bei could make his next move, he got some bad news. An urgent dispatch arrived, telling him that Ma Chao was laying siege to Jiameng (1,2) Pass, the key city on the border between Yi Province and Hanzhong, and that the pass would surely fall without reinforcements. Liu Bei was greatly alarmed and consulted with Zhuge Liang. “Only Zhang Fei or Zhao Yun would be up to this task,” Zhuge Liang said. “Zhao Yun is still out on campaign,

I’m planning to make the 100th episode a Q&A session, so send in your questions to 3kingdomspodcast@gmail.com by September 30, 2016. Transcript PDF version Hi everyone. I have a quick programming note. The podcast is steadily closing in on its 100th episode, and yes, I’m counting the supplemental episodes, too. I figured that this would be a good time to do an episode to addressing questions you may have about the novel, the time period, or the novel. Depending on when you are listening to this announcement, we’re about 15 episodes out from reaching the century mark. That’s another four to five months away, so we’re looking at probably the end of October or early November. That seems like a ways off, but I want to get this announcement out there now, so that there would be time for you to submit questions and for me to prepare answers to those questions. I’ll probably stop taking new questions at the end of September so that I can finish writing the episode and record it. So, if there are questions you’ve been wanting to ask, now’s your chance. Send your questions to 3kingdomspodcast@gmail.com. That email address is listed on the Contact page on the show’s website, 3kingdomspodcast.com. But what happens if you don’t get many questions, you might ask. Well, in that case, I’d just answer your questions individually via email and move on with the show. If there’s a question that I think is worth addressing to the larger audience for the podcast, I might post it on the website. Also, I’m going to put forth caveat here that I reserve the right to not answer particular questions or just answer with, “I don’t really know,” because hey, that’s the truth. I’ll do my best to have a good answer for all your questions, but as I said at the beginning of this podcast, I’m not a historian, so there are aspects of the novel or this period in history that I will not be able to address knowledgeably, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. Alright, so that’s it. Submit your questions before September 30, 2016, and hopefully our 100th episode will be a question-and-answer session. I’m eager to see what questions you have. So send them to 3kingdomspodcast@gmail.com. And as always, thank you so much for listening and supporting the show.