Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast

The tide of battle -- and history -- turns in the span of one night.

In his most desperate hour, Sun Quan puts his faith in Lu Xun, but will his officers obey orders from a man they see as a pedant and a coward? * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships * Talking ROTK on the Sinica Podcast Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 105. Before we pick up where we left off, I have a quick announcement. Around the beginning the year, I appeared on the Sinica Podcast, where I had a great time chatting with Kaiser Kuo and Jeremony Goldkorn about the Three Kingdoms Podcast and about the cultural significance of the novel. So go over to the Sinica podcast, that’s spelled S-I-N-I-C-A, and check it out. And now, back to the show.   Last time, Liu Bei was riding high as he crushed Dongwu in one battle after another in his quest to avenge his slain brothers. It got so bad for Dongwu that Sun Quan offered up a really sweet peace deal. He delivered into Liu Bei’s hands the two guys who assassinated Zhang Fei, and he promised to return Jing Province and Lady Sun, Liu Bei’s wife and Sun Quan’s sister. He also offered to be Liu Bei’s ally for all of eternity if Liu Bei would just call off his war, especially seeing how most of the people directly involved in his brothers’ deaths were now themselves dead. When the envoy and Liu Bei’s officials broached the topic of peace, however, Liu Bei flew into a rage. “The one I despise most is Sun Quan. If I ally with him now, I would be turning my back on my oath with my brothers. I shall exterminate Dongwu first, and then wipe out Wei.” Liu Bei even wanted to execute Dongwu’s envoy to show that he really meant business, but his officials managed to talk him out of it, and the envoy scampered back to Dongwu to tell Sun Quan that Liu Bei refused to talk peace despite his own officials’ advice.   This sent Sun Quan into a panic, but the adviser Kan (3) Ze (2) told him, “You have a pillar that can prop up heaven at your disposal. Why don’t you use him?” Sun Quan asked whom Kan (3) Ze (2) was referring to, and Kan Ze said, “The important affairs of Dongwu used to all be handled by Zhou Yu. Then Lu Su took over. After Lu Su died, they fell to Lü Meng. Although Lü Meng is dead, we still have Lu (4) Xun (4) stationed in Jing Province. He has the reputation of a scholar, but in reality, he possesses talent which, in my estimation, rivals that of Zhou Yu’s. When we defeated Guan Yu, Lu Xun was the one who came up with all the ideas. If your highness make use of him, we’re guaranteed to defeat the enemy. If anything goes wrong, I am willing to share Lu Xun’s punishment.” “If not for your reminder, all would be lost,” a grateful Sun Quan said. But the senior adviser Zhang Zhao objected. “Lu Xun is but a bookworm, not a worthy opponent for Liu Bei. I don’t think we should use him.” A couple other advisers also voiced their concerns. One said Lu Xun was too young to command the respect of the officers, while another said Lu Xun may be a decent administrator but was not a general. But to all this, Kan Ze shouted, “If you do not use Lu Xun, then Dongwu is done for! I am willing to vouch for him with the lives of my entire family!” This bold guarantee did the trick, and Sun Quan told everyone,

Liu Bei’s team of old warhorses takes another hit, but two young stallions are waiting in the wings. This episode is read by special guest Kaiser Kuo, host of the Sinica Podcast. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Relationships * Check out guest-reader Kaiser Kuo’s Sinica Podcast Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 104. Last time, the forces of Liu Bei and Sun Quan clashed, and Liu Bei won an easy victory, putting Sun Quan’s commander and kinsman Sun Huan (2) to flight and then trapping him inside the city of Yiling (2,2). Shaken, but not beaten, Sun Quan then marched out the big guns, sending a relief force of 100,000 and many of his best generals. One of those generals, Gan Ning, one of the Southlands’ top warriors, was suffering from dysentery at the moment, but he soldiered on and headed out with the relief force. Meanwhile, Liu Bei was putting the might of his army on full display. He built a string of 40-some camps, running from the location of Jianping (4,2) all the way to the borders of the city of Yiling (2,2), where the defeated Dongwu commander Sun Huan was presently holed up. This impressive line of camps covered 200-some miles. Sitting inside one of his camps, Liu Bei, thinking about all the recent accomplishments by his two young nephews Guan Xing and Zhang Bao, could not help but sigh. “[Sigh] All the generals who followed me back in the day are now old and useless. But with such heroes as my two nephews, what need have I to be concerned with Sun Quan?” Just then, word came that Dongwu was sending a relief force led by the generals Han Dang and Zhou Tai. Liu Bei was just about to send a general to go face them when his attendants told him, “The old general Huang Zhong has gone off with a few men to defect to Dongwu.” But to this, Liu Bei simply smiled and said, “General Huang is no traitor. I misspoke and said that old people were useless. General Huang has never been one to give in to his age, so he must have gone off to the front.” Liu Bei then summoned Guan Xing and Zhang Bao and told them, “Something is bound to happen to General Huang this time. Do not shirk hardship; please go help him. As soon as he achieves some small victory, bring him back. Keep him safe.” Guan Xing and Zhang Bao accepted their orders, took their leave, and went to catch up to Huang Zhong. So let us catch up to Huang Zhong as well. Just as Liu Bei suspected, the old war horse overheard Liu Bei talking about how the old generals were all useless, and so he stormed off in a huff with just five or six personal guards. He headed straight for the camp at Yiling, where he was greeted by the officers Wu Ban, Zhang (1) Nan (2), and Feng (2) Xi (2), and they asked him what he was doing there. “I have accomplished much since joining his highness at the city of Changsha (2,1),” Huang Zhong said. “Even though I am past 70, I can still eat plenty of meat. My arms can still wield a strong bow, and I can still ride a fast horse. I’m not old yet. Yesterday, his highness was talking about how we are all old and useless, so I have come to fight against Dongwu. Watch me cut down their generals, and then tell me if I’m old!” And yeah, that was a pretty old-man thing to say, but just then word came that the Dongwu relief force was approaching, so Huang Zhong immediately hopped on his horse...

With Liu Bei bearing down on them, the Southlands try to tell him that they didn’t really mean to kill Guan Yu; it was all a simple misunderstanding. We swear! * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 103. Last time, Liu Bei was marching a huge army toward the Southlands, hell-bent on exacting a heavy dose of revenge against Sun Quan and company for the death of his two sworn brothers. Sun Quan sent the adviser Zhuge Jin, the elder brother of Zhuge Liang, to try to convince Liu Bei to call off the attack. Zhuge Jin met Liu Bei at the city of Baidi (2,4). Upon being summoned, Zhuge Jin prostrated on the ground to pay his respects to the newly self-declared emperor Liu Bei. “Sir, for what business have you come such a long way?” Liu Bei asked. “My brother has long served your highness,” Zhuge Jin answered, “so I have risked my life to come explain what happened in Jing Province. First, when Lord Guan was at Jing Province, my master tried several times to form a marriage alliance with him, but Lord Guan refused. Then, after Lord Guan conquered the city of Xiangyang (1,2), Cao Cao sent one letter after another to my master, ordering him to attack Jing Province. My lord did not want to, but his general Lü Meng had a grudge against Lord Guan, so Lü Meng took matters into his own hands and launched an attack, causing a disaster. My master deeply regrets what happened, but the fault lies with Lü Meng, not my master. Now, Lü Meng is dead, and with him should our quarrel rest. “Also, your wife Lady Sun has been longing to return to your side. My master has sent me as envoy to inform you that he is willing to return to you Lady Sun, the officers who defected from your ranks, and Jing Province so that we may form an everlasting alliance and work together to bring Cao Pi to justice for his crime of usurpation.” So if you do the math, Sun Quan is offering a really good deal here. Without firing a single arrow, Liu Bei would get back all the territory that Guan Yu lost, the two guys who assassinated Zhang Fei, and the wife he hadn’t seen in almost a decade since Sun Quan smuggled her back to the Southlands. And yeah, Sun Quan is kind of passing the buck here, pinning all the blame on the dead guy Lü Meng, but hey that’s what you get for being dead. But Liu Bei angrily swatted down this juicy offer. “You all killed my brothers. How dare you now come speak such deceitful words?!” “Your highness,” Zhuge Jin replied, “Allow me to discuss the matter of priorities: Your highness is the imperial uncle of the Han Dynasty, and the Han emperor has been deposed by Cao Pi. Yet, instead of trying to exterminate the usurper, you are compromising your imperial dignity for the sake of a brother who doesn’t even share your family name. That is forsaking a sacred obligation for a lesser one. The northern Heartlands is the core of the realm, and the cities of Chang’an and Luoyang are the capitals of the Han. Yet, instead of setting your sights on those territories, you are coming after Jing Province. That is forsaking what is important to pursue what is petty. The people of the land all expected that once you ascended to the throne, you would surely revitalize the House of Han and reclaim its territories. Yet now, your highness is ignoring the Wei and attacking Dongwu. I must advise your highness against it.”

No, not him, too!! Another major character bites the dust. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 102. Last time, we left off with Liu Bei declaring himself emperor after the Han emperor was officially deposed by Cao Pi. As his first imperial act, Liu Bei was going to attack Dongwu to make them pay for killing his brother Guan Yu, but a number of his officials were against it. However, his third brother, Zhang Fei, heard about this and personally headed to the Shu capital Chengdu to make sure Liu Bei did not waver in his conviction for war with Dongwu. At this time, Liu Bei was personally drilling his troops every day in preparation for the campaign, but many of his officials were still hoping to talk him out of it. A bunch of them went to see Zhuge Liang and said, “His highness has only just recently ascended to the imperial throne and now he wants to personally lead an expedition. His priorities are misplaced. Prime minister, you hold an influential position. Can you not talk him out of it?” “I have already tried time and again,” Zhuge Liang said, “but he would not listen. Today, why don’t you all go with me to the training grounds to offer our counsel?” So they all followed Zhuge Liang to see Liu Bei and told him, “Your highness has just ascended to the throne. The only time when it would be appropriate for you to personally command an army is if you are marching north to bring the usurpers to justice. If you want to attack Dongwu, then you should just appoint a top general to lead in your place. There is no need for you to go personally.” Being leaned on so hard by Zhuge Liang and others, Liu Bei was starting to sway, but just then, Zhang Fei arrived. Liu Bei summoned him immediately, and Zhang Fei came in and threw himself onto the ground. He clutched Liu Bei’s foot and wept, which made Liu Bei cry as well. “Your highness is now the emperor, and you have forgotten the oath in the peach orchard!” Zhang Fei said. “Why are you not avenging brother Guan’s death?!” “Many officials oppose such an action, so I haven’t dared to move rashly,” Liu Bei said. “How can other people understand our pledge?!” Zhang Fei said. “If your highness will not go, then I will forfeit my life to avenge brother Guan! If I do not succeed, then I would rather die than to face you!” Well, so much for all the hard work that Zhuge Liang and company had done in trying to dissuade Liu Bei from his invasion. A few words from Zhang Fei made up his mind. “I will go with you,” Liu Bei said to Zhang Fei. “Lead the troops under your command and move out. I will meet up with you with crack troops so that we may attack Dongwu together and seek vengeance!”   So it was decided. Liu Bei and Zhang Fei were going out on a quest for revenge. Before Zhang Fei took his leave, Liu Bei reminded him, “I know that when you drink, you tend to get angry and whip your soldiers, but then you keep them around you. That is a recipe for disaster. From now on, you must change your ways and be more lenient.” Zhang Fei agreed and took his leave. The next day, Liu Bei was about to mobilize his army, but the scholar Qin (2) Mi (4) again spoke up against it. “For your majesty to risk your precious self over a trifling point of honor is a course that no ancient sage would approve of,

You would think the end of a 400-year dynasty would have more action than this, but it’s all just decrees, counter-decrees, speeches, humble brags, and an unusually strong gust of wind. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 101. Happy new year everyone. This is our first episode of 2017, and as we bid goodbye to 2016 in our own time, we are about to bid goodbye to the Han Dynasty in our narrative. Last time, all the court officials were turning up the heat on the emperor to abdicate and give his throne to Cao Pi. They even went so far as to execute the guy in charge of the imperial seal when he refused to hand it over. Seeing that the court officials were not messing around, and seeing a few hundred of Cao Pi’s armed guards hanging around the main hall of his palace, the emperor wept and informed the officials, “I am willing to cede the empire to the King of Wei. I hope he will allow me to live out my years in peace.” “His highness will not mistreat you,” the official Jia (2) Xu (3) told the emperor. “You should immediately issue a decree so as to put everyone at ease.” So the emperor asked Chen (2) Qun (2), one of Cao Pi’s top officials, to draft the decree, which another of Cao Pi’s trusted officials, Hua (2) Xin (1), then carried off to Cao Pi, followed by all the other officials. The emperor’s decree said: “My 32-year reign has seen great trouble in the land. Fortunately, the spirits of my forefathers have rescued me from peril. But now, having observed the patterns of the heavens and peered into the hearts of the people, I see that the cycle of the element of fire has expired, and a new element, corresponding to the House of Cao, now reigns. That change is attested by the martial success of the late King of Wei and the manifest and glorious virtue of the current King of Wei. The new succession thus fulfills the expectations of all. “It is said, ‘When the way of the sages prevails, the empire belongs to all.’ For not favoring his own son, the ancient sage king Yao earned an immortal name. I venture to emulate him. Today, by abdicating to the prime minister and King of Wei, I follow in the footsteps recorded in the ‘Canon of Yao.’ I hope your highness will not decline.”   So let’s talk a little about this reference to the ancient sage king Yao. He is from the mythical era of Chinese history, a time marked by wise rulers with incredible lifespans. According to legend, Yao reigned for about 100 years during the third millennium B.C. Among the things he’s known and admired for is how he handled the succession question. Instead of passing his title to a son, he instead chose a highly recommended man named Shun (4) and married both of his daughters to the guy, as a way to observe and evaluate him. Eventually, satisfied that Shun was up to the job, Yao abdicated his throne and passed it to Shun (4). So in invoking the story of Yao, the Han emperor is saying, or being made to say, that he is nobly, and totally voluntarily, abdicating to a worthy man. Of course, the story of Yao is mentioned every single time a Chinese ruler has been made to step down, so it really loses a bit of its meaning after a while. But whatever. The important thing is that the emperor had issued a decree to Cao Pi, offering him the key to the empire.

Cao Cao’s third son finds out what passes for brotherly love in his family. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 100. First of all, I want to wish everyone a belated merry Christmas. The fact that our last episode of 2016 also happens to be the 100th episode in our narrative seems a fortuitous omen of some sort. I’d like to thank everyone who has been listening to the show, rating the show in iTunes, supporting the show through donations, and telling other people about the show. You guys are awesome, and I would not have made it this far without your enthusiasm and support. So thank you. Happy holidays and here’s to better things in 2017. And now, back to our originally scheduled programming.  So, we had some momentous developments in the last episode, didn’t we? Cao Cao, the Darth Vader of Chinese history and literature, had just died. His eldest son Cao Pi assumed his title as King of Wei and then proceeded to consolidate his position by marginalizing his brothers. He took away one brother’s army, scared another brother into committing suicide, and had just arrested his third brother, the literary genius Cao Zhi, for being disrespectful. Horrified at seeing her sons at each other’s throats, Cao Pi’s mother, Lady Bian (4), had begged him to spare Cao Zhi. Cao Pi told her, oh I was never going to harm him; just take him down a peg or two. After she left in tears, Cao Pi ordered that Cao Zhi be brought in to see him. Before Cao Zhi entered, however, one of Cao Pi’s senior advisers, Hua Xin, spoke up. “Was the queen mother asking your highness to spare your brother?” “Indeed,” Cao Pi replied. “But given Cao Zhi’s talent and knowledge, he will never be a content subject,” Hua Xin said. “You should eliminate him now to avoid trouble later.” “But I cannot go against my mother’s orders,” Cao Pi lamented. “Everyone says Cao Zhi is so gifted that he can compose poems off the cuff,” Hua Xin said. “But I don’t believe it. Your highness can summon him and test his talent. If he fails your test, then you can kill him. If he passes the test, then exile him. That will silence any criticism from the literati.” Cao Pi went along with that idea. Momentarily, Cao Zhi entered and threw himself on the ground and apologized for his offense. But, showing that he was very much his father’s son, Cao Pi was unmoved. “You and I may be brothers, but we are also lord and vassal,” Cao Pi said. “How dare you show such disrespect? When our father was alive, you often showed off your writings, but I always suspected that you were passing off others’ work as your own. Today, I command you to compose a poem within seven steps. If you succeed, you will be spared. If you fail, you will be punished severely, without mercy!”   “Please name the topic,” Cao Zhi said. In the room there was an ink-brush painting depicting two oxens fighting under a mud wall. One of the oxens had fallen into a well and died. Pointing at the painting, Cao Pi said, “Use this painting as the topic, but your poem must not say anything along the lines of “Two oxens fighting under a wall, one oxen dying after a fall.” Cao Zhi promptly took seven steps and spoke the following lines, imbued with symbolism: “Two butcher’s victims lowing walked along,

Cao Cao grapples with mortality and legacy. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 99. Last time, Cao Cao was suffering from some really bad headaches. One of his advisers recommended that he seek out the miracle healer Hua (2) Tuo (2), and Cao Cao promptly sent someone to invite the doctor. After checking Cao Cao’s pulse, Hua Tuo said, “Your highness’s headaches are caused by a malignant humor inside your skull, where trapped air and fluid are building up. Medicine do you no good. Here is my recommendation: First, I will give you an anesthesia. Then I will use a sharp axe to cut open your skull to release the trapped air and fluid. Only then will the root cause be eliminated.” “Are you trying to kill me?!” Cao Cao said angrily. “But your highness, have you not heard about how I treated Guan Yu? He had a poison arrow wound on his right arm. I scraped the poison off his bone, and he showed no sign of fear. So what does your highness have to worry about with such a minor ailment?” “A hurting arm can be scraped, but how a head be split open?!” Cao Cao shot back. “You must be a good friend of Guan Yu’s, and you are trying to use this opportunity to avenge him!” So Cao Cao had his men arrest Hua Tuo and interrogate him under torture. Now, the novel means to portray Cao Cao as paranoid here, but in all honesty, if I was living in third-century China, I would probably have a similar reaction to somebody proposing to take an axe to my skull. One of Cao Cao’s advisers tried to talk him into letting Hua Tuo go, since he’s such a rare talent. But Cao Cao was like, no way. And instead he ordered his men to ratchet up the torture. While Hua Tuo was rotting in prison, one of his jailors was a big fan of his and treated him to wine and food each day. Hua Tuo was grateful for his kindness and told him, “I’m going to die soon. My one regret is that my medical text, the Book of the Black Bag, will be lost to posterity. I have no way to repay your kindness, so I have written a letter. You can send someone to deliver it to my family, and they will give you the book and you may carry on my craft.” The jailer was delighted. “If I get that book, I will quit this job and dedicate myself to healing the sick so as to spread your virtue,” he said. So Hua Tuo wrote the letter and the jailer took it to the doctor’s hometown, found his family, and got the book from Hua Tuo’s wife. He brought it back to prison to show Hua Tuo, who then officially bestowed the book to him. The jailer took the book home and hid it. Ten days later, true to his word, Hua Tuo died in his jail cell. The jailer arranged for his funeral, then quit his job and went home, ready to dive into the medical text and soak up Hua Tuo’s knowledge. But when he got home, he found his wife burning the book. By the time the stunned jailer managed to snatch it out of her hands, the book had been reduced to ashes except for a couple pages. The jailer angrily cursed his wife, but she told him, “Even if you manage to become as good as Hua Tuo, you would just end up dying in a jail cell, so what’s the use of keeping this around?” And that, supposedly, is why Hua Tuo’s amazing medical techniques of cutting into people with minimal anesthesia and making them puke up worms did not get passed down through the ages.

We bid farewell to the Lord of the Beautiful Beard and talk about that time when Cao Cao stole the woman Guan Yu was going to steal from someone else. Transcript A ceramic statue of Guan Yu in a museum in Foshan, China. Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is a supplemental episode. In this episode, we’re going to bid farewell to one of the novel’s major characters as we close the book on Guan Yu, who lost his territory and his head in episode 97. As I have done in the past when a major character exits the narrative, I’m going to cover some of the similarities and differences between Guan Yu the fictional character and Guan Yu the historical figure. This is no easy task, since so much of his real life has receded into the background, overshadowed by the fictionalized version. There’s a lot to unwind here, so let’s just start from the beginning. And right at the beginning is where we have our first major discrepancy between history and fiction. So you know all that talk about the oath of brotherhood in the peach orchard between Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei? Well, there’s nothing in the historical records that indicates this oath actually happened. Now, according to the Records of the Three Kingdoms, the historical text on which the novel is based, the three of them were close like brothers. For instance, in episode 2, the novel talked about how the three of them slept in the same bed, and when Liu Bei was sitting in public, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei would stand next to him all day long. All of that came straight from the Records of the Three Kingdoms. But there is no mention in the historical records about the three of them actually pledging an oath to be brothers. But you know, it’s a small leap from “like brothers” to “actually brothers” to being the benchmark by which all fraternal bonds are measured. Moving on, let’s go to one of the legendary incidents in the novel where Guan Yu first made his name. In episode 7, Liu Bei and company were part of a massive campaign by a coalition of warlords against the villainous prime minister Dong Zhuo. One of Dong Zhuo’s generals, Hua (4) Xiong (2), was proving to be quite a handful for the coalition forces. That is, until Guan Yu went out and took care of him. As the story went, they poured Guan Yu a cup of wine before he went out to fight Hua (4) Xiong (2), but he told them to just hold on to it and that he’d be right back. Then, moments later, he returned with Hua Xiong’s head in tow, and it took so little time that the cup of wine was still warm. If this sounded too good to be true, that’s because it is. In fact, Guan Yu wasn’t even the one who killed Hua Xiong. That honor was left to the forces led by Sun Jian (1), the guy who eventually started the Sun family’s empire in the Southlands. According to the historical records, Sun Jian lost a fight against Dong Zhuo, but then he rallied his troops and pulled victory from the jaws of defeat, killing Hua Xiong in the process. There wasn’t even any mention of Guan Yu being on the scene. One guy that Guan Yu did kill, both in the novel and in real life, was Yan Liang, who was the warlord Yuan Shao’s top general. This happened during that brief time when Guan Yu was in Cao Cao’s service. According to the Records of the Three Kingdoms, Cao Cao sent Guan Yu and the general Zhang Liao to lift the siege that Yan Liang was leading on one of Cao Cao’s cities. Guan Yu saw Yan Liang’s canopy from a distance, so he rode through a sea of enemy soldiers and cut down Yan Liang and brought his head back, thus lifting the siege. That prompted Cao Cao to give him the title of ...

Guan Yu’s ghost finds inner peace … and then starts killing and spooking people. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 98. Last time, we killed off a major character for the first time in a long time, as Guan Yu lost Jing Province and fell into the hands of Sun Quan, who had him beheaded. As you can imagine, this is going to knock over a whole lot of dominoes. So let’s get to it. The first person we need to talk about is … well, Guan Yu. I know, Guan Yu is dead, so what more is there to say? Well, apparently we need to tie up the loose ends with his ghost. Hey, this is a novel, not history. So Guan Yu’s ghost was, understandably, just slightly peeved about having lost his head. So instead of drifting off to heaven, his spirit just kind of hung around the mortal realm, drifting here and there. One day, he came upon a mountain called Jade Fountain Mountain. On this mountain resided an old monk by the name of Pu (3) Jing (4). We’ve actually met him before. Back in episode 33, when Guan Yu was leaving Cao Cao’s service to rejoin Liu Bei, the commander at one of the checkpoints along the way set up an ambush to kill Guan Yu at a nearby monastery. The abbot of that monastery was none other than this monk, Pu (3) Jing (4). Pu Jing was from the same hometown as Guan Yu, and he tipped off Guan Yu to the deception. After Guan Yu killed the officer trying to ambush him, Pu Jing decided to get out of dodge as well. His travels took him everywhere before he came across this mountain. He loved the view, so he stayed, built himself a straw hut, and spent his days in meditation. He also had a young acolyte with him, whose job it was to go out and beg for food, which was a common way for monks to make a living. On a clear and breezy night, Pu Jing was sitting in his hut and meditating. Just after midnight, he suddenly heard a loud cry from the sky. “Return my head!” Since this wasn’t something that happened every day, Pu Jing stepped outside to take a look. In the sky, he saw a man riding a Red Hare horse and holding the green dragon saber. He was flanked by two officers, one with a fair complexion, and the other with a dark complexion and curly whiskers. As the cloud that this trio rode on drifted near the peak of the mountain, Pu Jing recognized that it was Guan Yu. He struck the door with a deer-tail whisk, an act that’s supposed to protect him against spirits. “General Guan, where are you now?” the monk said. Guan Yu’s spirit dismounted and glided down to the hut. “Who might you be, master?” he asked. “My name is Pu Jing. We met when I was at the monastery near Sishui (4,3) Pass. Have you forgotten?” “I am forever grateful for your saving me, and will never forget it,” ghost Guan Yu said. “Today, a calamity has befallen me, and I am dead. I would like to request your redeeming counsel to point me out of the darkness of my wandering.” And this was what Pu Jing said to Guan Yu: “Right and wrong, past and present are relevant no more. Retribution follows human action with the certainty of fate. You died at Lü Meng’s hand and cry, ‘Return my head.’ Yet, what about the likes of Yan Liang, Wen Chou, or the six officers at the five checkpoints you ran? Whom should they ask for their heads backs?” And in case you weren’t paying attention,

Defeated and leaking troops by the minute, Guan Yu makes a desperate dash for safety. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 97. Before we pick up where we left off, I have a quick correction. In the last episode, I mispronounced the name of one of the cities under Guan Yu’s command that surrendered to Sun Quan. It’s the city of Nanjun (2,4), not Nanzheng (2,4) as I had pronounced it. I didn’t catch the mistake until after I recorded the whole episode, and it was a small enough mistake that I wasn’t going to go back and re-record the whole thing. So my apologies for that slip-up. Anyway, last time, while Guan Yu was busy laying siege to Fancheng, the forces of Dongwu mounted a sneak attack and took over his home base of Jing Province, along with several of the other key cities in the region. Cao Cao then directed an attack that repelled Guan Yu and broke his siege on Fancheng. Defeated and now stranded in hostile territory with no home to go back to, Guan Yu was filled with immense regret and impotent rage, and at a loss for what to do next. His provisions officer, Zhao (4) Lei (4), said, “With our situations so dire, we should send someone to our capital Chengdu to ask for help while we take the land route to Jing Province to retake the city.” Guan Yu agreed and sent the advisers Ma Liang and Yi Ji to race west toward Chengdu to ask Liu Bei to send help. Meanwhile, he led his army toward Jing Province, with him leading the way while his son Guan Ping and the officer Liao Hua brought up the rear. Meanwhile, having broken the siege on Fancheng, the general Cao Ren now led his officers to see Cao Cao, whereupon Cao Ren kneeled, wept, and begged to be punished for his failings. “This was heaven’s will, not your fault,” Cao Cao told his kinsman. He then rewarded his troops and personally went to inspect Guan Yu’s old base. “The enemy’s location was well barricaded,” Cao Cao said to his officers. “Yet General Xu Huang was able to breach it and achieve total victory. I have been leading troops for 30-some years, and even I have never dared to do such a thing. General Xu truly excels in tactics and courage!” When Cao Cao returned to camp, Xu Huang came to see him, and CAo Cao personally went out to welcome him. There, he saw Xu Huang’s troops marching in perfect order. Thoroughly impressed, Cao Cao heaped more praise on Xu Huang, along with the nifty title of the General who Pacifies the South. He then left an officer to oversee the city of Xiangyang to check Guan Yu, while Cao Cao himself garrisoned his troops at the location of Mobei (2,1) to await word of the pacification of Jing Province. Now, let’s go back and check in on Guan Yu. He was presently stuck on the road to Jing Province, with enemies in front and behind, leaving him with no way to advance or retreat. He asked the officer Zhao (4) Lei (4), “Right now, we have Dongwu troops in front of us and Wei troops behind us. What shall we do if relief does not arrive?” “The Dongwu general Lü Meng used to exchange frequent communications with you, pledging to ally with us to jointly take on the traitor Cao Cao,” Zhao Lei said. “And yet now he has helped Cao Cao to attack us. That is breaking his pledge. Sir, you should temporarily garrison the army here and send a letter to admonish Lü Meng and see what he says.” Well,

While Guan Yu is busy fighting Cao Cao’s forces, Lü Meng and Dongwu try to catch him unawares. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 96. Last time, Guan Yu was riding high after he crushed the army that Cao Cao had sent to try to stop his attack on the city of Fancheng. But while he was concentrating on laying siege to the city, the Dongwu forces were planning a sneak attack on his home base of Jing Province. Now, Guan Yu was on guard against Dongwu because the veteran Dongwu general Lü Meng was overseeing the forces garrisoned the key location of Lukou (4,3). To lure Guan Yu into complacency, Dongwu replaced Lü Meng with the crafty but relatively unknown Lu (4) Xun (4). As soon as Lu Xun took over command of the forces at Lukou (4,3), he sent an envoy to pay his respects to Guan Yu. At this moment, Guan Yu was still recovering from an arrow wound, so his army was not on the move yet. One day, he got word that Lü Meng was deathly ill and that Sun Quan had appointed Lu Xun to take his place, and that an envoy from Lu Xun was there to see him. Guan Yu summoned the envoy, pointed at him, and said, “Your lord Sun Quan is foolish to appoint a boy as general,” which yeah, is not really the most diplomatic thing to say. The envoy kneeled and replied, “General Lu (4) sent me to deliver a letter and gifts to congratulate you and to ensure good relations between us. We hope you will accept them.” Guan Yu perused the letter and found it filled with self-deprecation and reverence. Guan Yu looked up and laughed, and then he told his men to accept the gifts and sent the envoy on his way. The envoy reported back to Lu Xun that Guan Yu was delighted and appeared to no longer have any concerns about Dongwu. Now it was Lu Xun’s turn to be delighted. He dispatched spies, who reported back that Guan Yu, as expected, had redeployed most of the troops that were guarding Jing Province and moved them to Fancheng to help with the siege on that city. As soon as his arrow wound healed, he was going to attack Fancheng. Lu Xun immediately relayed this intel to Sun Quan, who talked it over with Lü Meng. “Guan Yu has redeployed the troops of Jing Province to attack Fancheng; we can now devise a plan to take Jing Province,” Sun Quan said. “What do you think about leading a large army with my brother Sun Jiao (3) for this mission?” “My lord,” Lü Meng said, “if you want to send me, then send me alone. If you want to send your brother, then send him alone. Do you not know that back when Zhou Yu and Cheng Pu were co-commanders, even though Zhou Yu had the final say on everything, Cheng Pu was not happy because he was a veteran officer and yet found himself beneath Zhou Yu. It was only later when he witnessed Zhou Yu’s talent that he came to respect him. My talents are not the equal of Zhou Yu, and your brother is closer to you than Cheng Pu was. I worry that the two of us would not be able to work together.” Hearing this, Sun Quan came to his senses and appointed Lü Meng and Lü Meng alone as the grand commander and put him in charge of all the troops of the Southlands. So yeah, that was a pretty nifty piece of politicking by Lü Meng. Sun Quan’s brother Sun Jiao (3) was relegated to the rear, overseeing the provisions. Lü Meng took his leave and departed with 30,

After an arrow causes a festering wound, Guan Yu signs up for a bleeding-edge surgical procedure. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 95. Last time, Guan Yu was in a stalemate against a Wei army led by Yu Jin and Pang De. While Yu Jin was busy sabotaging Pang De out of jealousy, Guan Yu was busy plotting both of their downfalls. Yu Jin had unwittingly garrisoned his army inside a ravine. With it being the middle of the fall rainy season, Guan Yu devised a plan to unleash the rising torrents of a nearby river to drown Yu Jin’s army. Yu Jin might have been unaware of this pending threat, but one of his officers, a man named Cheng (2) He (2), was not. In fact, Cheng He went to see Yu Jin and said, “Our troops are camped inside a ravine, at a rather low elevation. Even though there are some hills, they are relatively far from our camp. With all the rain lately, it’s been hard on the troops. Also, there have been recent reports that the enemy troops have moved to higher ground and are preparing rafts at the mouth of the Han (4) River. If they use the river’s water against us, we would be in dire straits. We should plan for that possibility.” Yu Jin, however, admonished Cheng He. “How dare you damage my troops’ morale? If anyone dares to speak of this again, he shall be executed!” Well, you can’t say Yu Jin didn’t get any warning. He Cheng, humiliated by his commander’s rebuke, went to relay his worries to Pang De. “I share your concerns,” Pang De said. “Commander Yu refuses to move his troops, but tomorrow, I will move my own troops to another location.” But tomorrow turned out to be too late. That night, a strong gale kicked up and heavy rain poured down. As he sat in his tent, Pang De suddenly heard an earth-shaking noise that sounded like 10,000 horses sprinting. When he stepped outside to see what’s going on, he found that the entire area was flooded by roaring torrents of water. The entire army was in chaos as countless soldiers were swept away by the strong currents. Soon, the ravine was covered by water 10 feet high, forcing Yu Jin, Pang De, and the other officers to scramble to a few small hills for relief. When dawn arrived, so did Guan Yu and his army, coasting into the ravine on large ships. At this point, Yu Jin only had about 50 or 60 men with him. Seeing no way out, Yu Jin quickly declared his willingness to surrender. So Guan Yu took him prisoner, removed his armor, and locked him up on a ship. Guan Yu then turned his attention to Pang De, who was holed up on another hill with Cheng He and a couple other officer, along with about 500 foot soldiers. None of them had any armor, but when Guan Yu approached, Pang De showed no sign of fear and instead valiantly went forward to face him. Guan Yu, however, didn’t even have to get off his ship. He just ordered his fleet to surround the hill that Pang De was on and then bombard the trapped enemy with a shower of arrows, which killed most of the soldiers on the hill. Seeing a hopeless cause, two of the officers trapped on the hill said to Pang De, “Most of our men are either dead or wounded, and there’s no way out. Why don’t we surrender?” But that just riled up Pang De. “I have received great kindness from the King of Wei; how can I submit to another?!” he said angrily as he personally cut down the t...

With Guan Yu bearing down on a couple of his key cities, Cao Cao dispatches a general who pledges his life to victory and shows he means it. * Transcript * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 94. Last time, Liu Bei had just made himself the King of Hanzhong. Cao Cao responded by initiating a scheme to form an alliance with Sun Quan in the Southlands and make a move to take Jing Province. When Liu Bei caught wind of this, he told his brother Guan Yu, who was overseeing the defense of Jing Province, to launch a preemptive strike on the city of Xiangyang (1,2). Oh and by the way, from here on out, there will be times when I refer to the opposing sides by the name of the kingdoms that they eventually become, even though those kingdoms do not officially exist yet at this particular point in the novel. So that’d be the kingdom of Shu (2) for Liu Bei. I might also call it Xishu (1,2), meaning West Shu. We also have the kingdom of Wei (4), or Beiwei (3,4), aka, North Wei, for Cao Cao. And then there’s the kingdom of Wu (2), or Dongwu, meaning East Wu, for Sun Quan. Ok, back to the battle at hand. Xiangyang was being defended by Cao Cao’s kinsman Cao Ren, and Cao Ren decided to go meet Guan Yu head on. When Guan Yu heard that the enemy was approaching, he drew up a scheme and sent his son Guan Ping and the officer Liao Hua to go meet Cao Ren. When the two sides ran into each other, Liao Hua rode out to challenge for battle, and one of Cao Ren’s officers went out to take him on. After a few bouts, Liao Hua turned and fled, and Cao Ren’s army gave chase for a few miles before stopping for the day. The next day, Liao Hua and Guan Ping came to challenge for battle again, and this time, two of Cao Ren’s officers went out to greet them, and the enemy soon turned and fled again, and Cao Ren’s officers gave chase again. This time, though, they followed Guan Ping and Liao Hua right into a trap. After chasing for a few miles, they suddenly heard loud roars, drums, and horns behind them. Cao Ren hurriedly ordered his troops to fall back, but by now, Guan Ping and Liao Hua had turned their army around and were charging back this way. Cao Ren’s men fell into disarray, and Cao Ren said, the heck with this, and made a beeline back toward his home base of Xiangyang. When he was a couple miles away from the city, however, Cao Ren found his path cut off by a cluster of banners and men, led by none other than Guan Yu himself. Cao Ren was too intimidated to trade blows with Guan Yu, so he changed directions and made a run toward the city of Fancheng, the other location he held in this region. Guan Yu didn’t bother giving chase. Momentarily, the two officers that Cao Ren had sent out to fight earlier arrived on the scene, and they weren’t as smart as their boss. They actually tried to fight, but you can guess the results. Within a bout, Guan Yu and Guan Ping had each cut down one of those two officers. With their leaders dead, the Wei troops were crushed, with most of them being swept into the river, where they drowned. So just like that, Xiangyang belonged to Guan Yu. Once things settled down from the battle, Guan Yu’s officer Wang (2) Fu (3) came to see him and said, “General, you have taken Xiangyang in one fell swoop and struck fear into the enemy, but in my humble opinion,

We delve into the relationship between Cao Cao and his secretary Yang Xiu, a man with a keen understanding of his boss’s mind … and a death wish. * Transcript * Explanation of Yang Xiu’s wordplay Yang Xiu (Source: Wikipedia) Transcript PDF version Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is a supplemental episode. So right before our break for the 100th episode Q&A session, we found Cao Cao stuck in a stalemate against Liu Bei. He knew attacking would not give him victory, but he also didn’t want to retreat because Liu Bei would laugh at him. His secretary, Yang Xiu, was clever enough to deduce his master’s quandary from the password he handed out for the night watch: Chicken ribs. Chicken ribs, Yang Xiu explained, had no meat to eat but enough flavor that you didn’t want to throw it away, making it a metaphor for Cao Cao’s present predicament. So Yang Xiu decided that this meant Cao Cao’s heart was not in waging a real war and that he would soon pack up and go home, so Yang Xiu figured he should get a head start on packing. When Cao Cao found out, though, he was enraged and had Yang Xiu executed for spreading rumors that hurt the army’s morale. As I mentioned in episode 92, there was more to this than just chicken ribs. In this supplemental episode, I’m going tell you about the backstory between Yang Xiu and Cao Cao, which provides a warning in being too clever for your own good. So one time, while he was still prime minister, Cao Cao went to inspect a garden that his workers had just finished building for him. After making the rounds, Cao Cao did not say a word and simply picked up a brush and wrote the character for “alive” on the door. The workers were all befuddled, but Yang Xiu was all too happy to explain. “When you put the character for ‘alive’ inside the character for ‘door’,” he told them, “it forms the character for ‘wide’. His excellency is saying the door is too wide.” So the workers rebuilt the door and asked Cao Cao to come back and take another look. This time, Cao Cao was satisfied, and he asked the workers who had understood his meaning. When they told him that it was Yang Xiu, Cao Cao outwardly praised his secretary’s smarts, but inwardly became wary of the man, because Cao Cao did not like the idea of anyone knowing what’s on his mind. On another occasion, Cao Cao received a box of shortbread from the north, which was considered a delicacy. Cao Cao wrote the characters “One box of shortbread” on the lid and set the box on his desk. Later, while Cao Cao was out, Yang Xiu came in and saw the box. After reading Cao Cao’s writing, he had the audacity to open the box and share its contents with others. When Cao Cao came back and found someone had helped themselves in his absence, he demanded to know why they had, you know, sharked their lord’s dessert. Yang Xiu said, “It clearly says on the box, ‘Everyone take a bite of shortbread’. So how can we dare to disobey your excellency’s command?” So this was another Chinese play on words, as the characters for “one box” can be broken down into components that also have individual meanings. In this case, those components could be read as “Everyone take a bite.” I’ll post a visual explanation of this and the other word-play example on the website with this episode, which will help you make sense of this. In any case, Cao Cao laughed this off,