Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast

With Cao Cao baring his imperial ambitions for all to see, the emperor does the only thing he can — give his brother-in-law a spiffy outfit. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Key Characters and Relationships

While Chen Gong tries to help Lü Bu hold off Cao Cao, Chen Deng and Chen Gui run circles around them. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships

No new episodes until the new year, but listen to this brief announcement for some important info and holiday wishes. Transcript (PDF)

Cao Cao’s awesomeness draws much fawning from his adviser Guo Jia, while the people of Xu Province express their love for Liu Bei through cannibalism. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships

Who’s more likely to lose his head in this episode: impostor emperor or granary officer? The answer may surprise you. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships

Cao Cao decides that he hates Lü Bu more than he hates Liu Bei, so “Liu Bei and I are like brothers.” * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships

Sun Ce lifts off, Lü Bu shows off, and Yuan Shu gets ticked off. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Lü Bu’s feat in a painting at the Summer Palace (image by Shizhao)  

Priceless imperial heirloom as collateral? Check. An old pal as your strategist? Check. Ability to kill by the mere sound of your voice? Check, check, and check. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Sun Ce (Image from Wikipedia)  

Cao Cao deploys animal-themed schemes to sow discord between Liu Bei and Lü Bu. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Lü Bu as depicted in a Beijing opera performance (Image from dcbbs.zol.com.cn)  

The Han court hits rock bottom, at which point Cao Cao is all too happy to ride in and … umm … defend the honor and dignity of the throne. Yeah, that’s it. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships A mask of Cao Cao. (Image from Wikipedia)

Someone’s wife gets the wrong impression that her husband is cheating on her, and the next thing you know, we’re poisoning household pets, ingesting waste, burning palaces, and abducting everybody who’s anybody. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of key characters and relationships Well, there goes another imperial palace up in flames. (Image from lianhuanhua.mom001.com)

After spending his down time picking off some ragtag rebels, Cao Cao moves to reclaim his territory, which brings us to a good point to look back at what we have covered so far. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships This picture has nothing to do with anything, but I want these action figures. 

Cao Cao and Lü Bu face off for control of Yan Province in a back-and-forth attempt to out-trick and outfight each other. And then the locusts came …. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Bonk! (Image from lianhuanhua.mom001.com)

Everyone gears up for a fight with Cao Cao over Xu Province, and then all of a sudden it’s the province nobody wants. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships “No no no no. I don’t want your province.” (Image from lianhuanhua.mom001.com)

Our old friend Cao Cao is expanding his operation. Want to join? You just need to either be a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of someone who already works there, or be a man-beast who kills dozens of coworkers with your bare hands over a disagreement. Note: I will be busy with other life obligations for the next couple weekends, so there won’t be any new episodes until around September 8. Rest assured that the hiatus is for a good cause. * Transcript (PDF) * Map of Key Locations * Graph of Key Characters and Relationships Cao Cao to his advisers: “Geez, how many friends do you guys have?” (Image from lianhuanhua.mom001.com)