Retro Radio Podcast

It’s time for the annual beauty contest,sponsored by the Royal Order of the Benevelent Zebra Lodge, and men across town show reactions to their girlfriends bathing suits. Good reactions, including Mel’s. Back in the Fixit shop, Mr Potchnik is hiding out and waiting for Mel. The piano teacher warns Mel that Betty has been seen going out with his rival, Hartley Benson. Who can Mel turn to to make Betty jealous? Cousin Dotty is ready and willing, and a campaign to vote for her instead of Betty is begun. The Sportsmen sing, Picolino. Hartley is confronted by Mel about Betty. Is Hartley actually the gift to womankind as the egomaniac thinks he is? Ugga ugga boo, ugga boo boo ugga, it’s the Mighty Potentate, and he has the latest outrageous word on his nagging wife. What’s the big request she made in the garden? Gad! What a temptation! It’s off to the lodge hall, and the beauty contest. Through his stammering ways, Zookie spills the beans about Mel’s campaigning for Doty to win. Has Mel misunderstood something? Will he need to through his plans in reverse? Can he impersonate a visiting Zebra from South America? Will Mel be found out? Will the contest be a fair one?

Doc Ben Withers mans the Jot ‘Em Down store when a bum pops in at the referral of Willie DeBoozler. Will the bum get a hand out from Doc? Lum and Abner return, anticipating the visit from famous food critic, Duncan Hines. Will the famous man show up in disguise? Who is that stranger coming in the door? As Lum and Abner try to push their wares off on the bum who entered earlier, Abner whips out some of his hash house lingo he practiced from last week. Just as their menu items are depleted by the hungry bum, another stranger enters. Will he be advised to go down the street to Luke Spears Lunchroom? Will they resort to serving the newcomer only their plainest of dishes? How will the bum recieve the lavish treetment? For that matter, what will the real Duncan Hines think of Lum’s famous hamburgers? You know, the ones that nobody in town can stomach?

Guest star today is Victor Moore. Last week Kingfish had a minor accident, and claimed his injuries were worse than they actually were. We find him today nursing his wounds to make sure they don’t heal up too fast. His plan is to go after the driver of the car, rather than the insurance company. Does Kingfish have a chance? Amos suggests he get an arbitrator to help with the matter. Meanwhile, Andy finds himself preparing for a formal date with Madam Queen. Andy volunteers for the arbitrator job to get money for his formal suit rental This will work out alright… won’t it? Has Kingfish and Andy found a push over for their mark? Does Victor have some triks up his sleeve? Will Andy make it to his date with Madam Queen?

Actually, the show is mislabeled. The date may or may not be correct, the actual name of the episode is: The rustlers. Although the show with this date is listed in certain radio logs as one titled as, Flowers for Polly. Back in the early days of the Old West cattle rustling was a quick way to earn money and build a large herd for an ambitious rancher. It was actually a preferred and acceptable practice until much of the stray cattle had been claimed, and established ranchers didn’t like the idea of upstarts rustling their hard won rustled cattle away. Today a rancher has a scheme to do some rustling of his own cattle, and lay blame at the feet of local indian tribes. When Cisco rides the trail, and encounters the ranchers rustling cowboys, Cisco defends his indian pals, and a fist fight is sure to break out. Needing a more serious distraction, the rancher sets up Cisco to take the fall for a murder. Meanwhile in a cafe, Cisco and Pancho enjoy a meal as they flirt with the lovely waitress. Amazingly the cute little waitress even has a small herd, but has had trouble when rustlers rode off with much of her cows. Cisco has to take a stand with the sheriff in defense of his indian friends, and he pushes for a meeting of the indians, the law, and the rancher. Things get tense, and for now Cisco backs down, but if we know Cisco it’s just a plan to buy time and make his own play for justice. The ever puzzled Pancho marvels at his friends apparent cowardice, but don’t worry Cisco lays out his plan to trap the rancher. The shady rancher has his own ideas though, so whose plan will prove to convince the sheriff? It’s not looking good when the lawman arrests Cisco and begins hauling our heros off to jail. Can Cisco and Pancho get free? Will they be able to prove to the sheriff who the real rustlers are? The shady rancher and his cowboys are smart enough to worry, but not smart enough to stop rustling. There’s a happy ending when Cisco reports back to the senorita in the cafe. A happy ending, but a mushy one, so be warned little kiddies. Oh Cisco! The Lone Ranger, or Matt Dillon would never fall for getting all mushy with their damsel in distress. (although I’ll bet Miss Kitty wouldn’t mind much.)

Squire is on hand to ask about Duncan Hines arrival in Pine Ridge so he can write up an article for the newspaper. Lum tries to explain that the way the famous food critic operates is to show up unannounced, and not disclose who he is until after the meal has been consumed, and the critique written. While the restaurant is a booming business, Abner still has to take care of the store, and complains about being overworked. Upscale dishes are discussed, and what goes into various courses of a fancy meal. The fancy foods, and terminology in the recipe books confuse both Lum and Abner. Entree’s, salads, fruits and nuts, and more all contribute to the confusion factor. Finally Squire comes back with word that Duncan Hines ought to be in town on Monday.

Archie introduces the shows guest stars, and day dreams about the benefits of getting away from it all to enjoy the great outdoors. Guests are to be movie actress, Rita Hayworth, and big game hunter, Frank Buck. Clark Dennis sings, I Just Kissed Your Picture Goodnight. Frank Buck arrives and the cast talks to him about animals. Rita Hayward shows up, and brings out the animal in Archie. Frank has a similar problem in fending off Miss Duffy.

Robbery detail, Friday and Smith are on the case of a robbery at a jeweler. As the two partners share a smoke, they talk about the details of the case. A convention was in town, drinking was going on, and one of the salesmen at the jewelers convention tells of a couple disgruntled buyers. The salesman wasn’t robbed of personal valuables, just his showcase of goods. Next, the hotel bartender is interviewed, and a few holes in the salesman’s story emerge. Friday does some poking around the hotel staff, and questions the bell hops. The cabbie even holds some info that puts the salesman in a bad light. The man comes clean, but his false story is to cover up the fact that he was hanging out with a woman, who wasn’t his wife. He tells the real story of how she drugged him and took his showcase of goods. The cover up was out of fear of his jealous wife more than anything. The search for the gal is on. As Friday closes in,, the woman remains elusive, but turns out to be the wife of an ex-con. It seems that he has been training her for the life of crime, but isn’t happy that she was dumbe enough to get caught.

Still looking for a specialty for his restaurant menu, Lum wants to cook a duck for Duncan Hines when he visits. Both Lum and Abner get confused about lighting food on fire when it’s served. Do they roll those crepe things up and smoke them like a cigar? What does it mean to roast a duck with truffles? Is that like putting those little pants on lamb chops? Doc Withers enters with news from friends, and the clever things they say. Abner doesn’t know the people, though Doc thinks he ought to. Lum is preoccupied with perfecting his recipe as Doc rambles on. Usually doc is missing animals, or other objects, but today he tells how he found the duck that Lum is waiting for. It was delicious.

Judy recounts how she visited the Hollywood Canteen to entertain the soldiers. In a patriotic moment she claims to be willing to join the WAC if she could get a man. Judy then sings, Milkman Keep Those Bottles Quiet. Geranium stops in to talk about her boyfriend serving in the military. He wrote to her to tell about being in the guardhouse, and about those new military weapons. One of Judy’s boarders in her boarding house complains about the laundry on the line, and some lack of service. He and Judy joke about her age, looks, and dating prospects. Sylvester stops in with Ken Niles to slide into a commercial. Eddie Dean sings, I’ll Take You Home Again. Pedro stops in to talk about the animals in the woods. He also went hunting with the disgruntled boarder, Mr Carter. Pedro has delivered a package for Judy. It’s a detective kit. Now Judy can snoop around on her boarders. Geranium talks about thinking Mr Carter might be a doctor. Starting right off with lesson 1, Judy learns how to track like a bloodhound. She recalls her younger days and her pappy singing lullabyes. Next, Judy learns what to do with a prisoner that she might catch. Eddy Dean enters to report that he heard gunshots, and Judy is off with her first case. It turns out to be a simple one when Mel Blanc is the shooter, and confesses what drove him to shoot his wife. After the commercial Judy is back to sing, Makes No Difference Now.

Spring is in the air, and Jack talks to Don about the sure signs that it’s back. Phil arrives, and Jack breaks the news about the trip to New York. Don is a little worried that Jack might use another announcer for his trip, and they joke about Harry VanZel. Kenny enters to comment about the trip. Apparently neither Kinny or Phil will be going, and Jack talks about his substitute bandleader possibility. After a telegram from Abe Lyman, Kenny sings, I See Your Face Before Me. Kenny wants to know who will take his place in New York. jack talks about having Kate Smith and Fred Allen on the show. Mary arrives to talk about Spring. Jack comments on her Easter bonnet. The jokes about the substitutions continue. Jack gets a phone call from Fred Allen, who makes a special demand from Jack. As Jack leaves to go home to pack, Phil plays a tune, Who stole the Jam. Kenny, Mary, and Rochester all help get his bags overstuffed. Besides jokes about Jacks clothes, Rochester has a little bad news about the car. Andy Devine stops in to tell why he won’t be making the trip. He has Spring cleaning and other chores to do. Schlepperman drops in for a few jokes, and to drop off a tux. The gang get ready to head out to the station, just in time for Don to close with another yummie Jello tip.

hhAfter the phone rings for the request, the doorbell shortly rings as the listener is invited to hear the latest tale of mystery, and murder. Inspector McGee recieves a report from a woman claiming her husband is murdered. On the scene, more information is forthcoming. I’ts over the matter of the Kingston diamond. Who are the suspects, what was the murder weapon? Inspector McGee gathers the details, and finds the diamond ring with the huge stone in it. At this early stage, even the much younger bride isn’t out of suspicion. Behind the scenes, we find the young bride, Katherine, making a phone call to a man, and there’s a covert meeting. Just how shady are they, what role do they play in the murder? They are clearly an item, and had been resentful of the dead husband, but is their motive enough to have done the deed? McGee isn’t fooled in the least, and phone records give him plenty of characters to tie into the case. McGee’s partner, a fan of the society pages, recognizes the picture of the young Mrs Kingston as a young lady who was involved years earlier in another similar case of recieving an inheritance from an older dead husband. A rival of the young bride, Ann, is questioned, and verifies some of the unfaithful marital relationships. Might she also be a suspect? The three players get together and argue over who told the cops their secrets, and they cast blame on each other for the murder. Meanwhile, the cops dig up more background. Another murder is uncovered, but how is it related to the earlier one? Inspector McGee knows, and sends instructions for his suspects to be gathered together as he calls in for a little more hard evidence to prove his story. In typical mystery story drama, the finger is put on the suspects as the cops unravel the story and make the killer squirm.

The cast members are meeting together to decide how to raise money for a bigger and better playground. Connie and Boynton are the faculty supervisors, while Walter and Harriet are the students in charge. They decide to have an auction, and discuss ways to get the word out. They’re second problem is finding something to auction off. Things are running too smoothly, and mix ups are sure to arise. Walter has a contact in the real estate business. Harriet and Connie rummage through personal affects to find some goodies. Surely something will turn up since the Conklin’s are moving to a new house, and they’re getting all new furniture. Connie and Boynton review some of their bargains, including a set of andirons. (Whatever those are is a mystery to me). The iron artifacts are part of the Conklin’s new furnishings that were delivered to the school, instead of their new house. I knew there was a mix up in there somewhere. More mix ups arise when Walter’s real estate connection has a house with furniture to donate to the auction. Trusting Stretch to run an errand, he gets the addresses mixed up. Although those special andirons are safe, it seems that the Conklin’s are about to have their new furniture hit the auction block. Let the slow burning begin. Note: If you’re interested in a Retro Original that features the version of this episode from 1950, try this one: Our Miss Brooks 500319 The Auction. (retro267). Complete with a bonus track, and a few words from Keith and the Retrobots.

Dennis opens with a personal message for his alma mater, and in honor he sings, Manhattan Men. After the opening commercial, the set up is told. Few people make it to prominence to be noteworthy in the newspaper, but Dennis has managed it. Dennis gets his picture in the paper because of his pedestrian habits. He’s the poster boy for what not to do in a safety campaign. Mildred notices that they used the wrong photo. Later, Mrs Anderson gets dinner ready, and Mr Anderson talks about the top news items. Great Scot! He sees a picture of Dennis, but it got mixed up with the story of a man who is thought to be a long lost wealthy heir, who is suffering from amnesia. The Andersons are bent on trying to get Dennis to remember that he is that heir, especially when there’s a reward for reconnecting the missing man with his rich family. Maybe it works like in the movies, and Mrs Anderson is too willing to give Dennis a thump on the head. Dennis sings his latest Victor recording, Streets of Larado. Meanwhile at the shop where Dennis works, Dennis shares with his boss about how confused he is feeling. Is the memory loss treatment from the Andersons getting to him? His boss is a little confused over the matter as well. Dennis goes to psychiatrist, Frank Nelson, and tells what he remembers of his childhood. Might Dennis be crazy? He takes a word association test. Then subjects himself to hypnotism. Will the mind control work? Will he now be a swanky playboy? At home, Dennis certainly seems changed, and even a little over confident and cocky. Is he now too much a ladies man for Mildred’s tastes? When Mildred smacks him, and that movie treatment for amnesia returns Dennis to his senses. Dennis is upset over his behavior and wants to go and give that psychiatrist a good chewing out. Mr Anderson wants to go too, but he wants a hypnotism treatment. To wrap up, Dennis sings, So In Love. PS: Somehow this show, and the previous one from Dennis Day got mislabled. They both have the same date, but I didn’t catch it in time, so on the web site and podcast the titles are nearly the same. The file downloads actually are mislabled, and are the opposite shows for the way they are named. Oopsie. Sorry for not noticing sooner. It should clear from the show notes which are which.

The sunny morning in the park is only ruined when a body is found, and Casey is on hand with the cops to investigate the crime scene. Ann Williams helps to put the pieces together with the dead boxer, and some connections to look into for a motive bhehind the murder. In the Blue Note with Ethylbert, Casey discusses the scant clues, and the difficulty it’s going to be to solve this mystery. A tip from a fellow photographer takes him out to the country for a hit and run case. Suddenly a picture from the farm woman has black and white proof of who killed the boxer. Questions now emerge as to who took the picture and why. Is there a blackmail scheme going on? Why did Mrs McClusky end up with the picture? The hot tip runs into a dead end when the body count rises, and their hopeful witness is found in a pool of blood. The clues at the new crime scene give Casey enough to go on, and pursue a local gangster. Will the gangster fall for Casey’s bluffing, or will Lou get the drop on our hero? Has Casey uncovered the top dog in this racket? Will he and Ann wind up in the endless stream of corpses? Casey has the mystery figured out, and as a professional photographer, notices something fishy about that photograph. Do pictures lie? Join in with Ann and Ethylbert in the Blue Note to see how Casey put all the pieces together.

Squire helps Lum make crepe souzette, to improve the standing of his menu at the restaurant. It’s all to make an impression on Duncan Hine when he visits next week, and to have more of an offering than just pancakes. Taking advice from Willie DeBoozler. the local hobo, Abner goes over hash house lingo. Lum’s not impressed, and continues his quest for a menu item that’s unique, and a specialty that he can be famous for. While Lum works on his recipe for crepes, Abner goes over his hash house slang with Cedric. Learn what a pearl diver is, as well as a soup jockey, shot of moo, take a chance, choke a pair of pigs, and if you feel the same as Cedric you’d run away crying too.