Retro Radio Podcast

A firey horse at the speed of light! A cloud of dust, and a hearty Heigh Ho Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again! At the town of Hilltop, a train makes its stop. As the engineer steps off, he is alarmed to see the train and his crewman Jim rolling steadily faster, coasting down the grade. The grade is too steep, the train races too fast, and can’t make the turn in the track. Seeing the runaway train, Lone Ranger and Tonto rush at top speed, but all they can do is tend to the crew after the crash. The last words of a crewman indicated this was no accident. Sam, the engineer begins to take heat for the train being out of repair, and in the unsafe condition that would cause it to run away. The victimized family wants justice done, but nobody really believes that Sam is behind the terrible event. Who would want the train to crach, or want Jim dead? That’s what Lone Ranger and Tonto need to figure out as they ride on a mission to set things right. Though Lone Ranger’s plan is designed to help, he takes some risks that seem to let blame fall on himself. Sam has escaped, and incriminating evidence fires up the sheriff and posse to go on a manhunt. What we need now is a good trap that will draw the true bad guys into it, and Lone Ranger doesn’t disappoint. Another train, another similar situation, and as it runs away, the sabateur is caught in his own trap. This time it’s all designed to force a confession, and turn the evil doer over to the law. Note: Originally posted on August 18, 2011. But here it is again.

In the Jot ‘Em Down store we find Abner on the phone taking orders, Lum tending to his Lumburgers, Doc Withers doing the dishes, and grandpap handling Lum’s telegrams and personal affairs. The logistics of his world famous enterprise is crushing Lum as he has to deal with keeping the oysters on ice, telegrams to answer, and more. Now that he has found success, he’s too busy to enjoy it. A telegram from a French restaurant gets Abner confused when they ask for Lumburgers for their new cuisine. What happened to the old one? To add to his pile of troubles, Ben Withers keeps breaking dishes in the kitchen, and with grandpap’s failing eyesight, Lum has to do the work for his hired secretary. Just when it seems things can’t get worse, Cedric is rushing in with more complications.

Straight from the pages of the Hearst newspapers, Comic Weekly brings one of it’s popular features to life. Flash Gordon and Dale Hardin find them parachuting to Earth, after their space ship crashed. They meet Doctor Zarkoff, and they’re off on another adventure in a new rocket ship… that crash lands on the strange planet of Mongo. Ming the Merciless, Red Monkeymen, a Princess to rescue, and adventures that await at every turn. Trivia Alert: Flash Gordon was originally played by Gale Gordon. The same Gale Gordon who was a radio announcer, Mayor Latrivia, and other roles on the Fibber McGee show. Also the hypertensive Mr Conklin on Our Miss Brooks, and as character actors of various kinds on countless other radio programs. On the 1960’s television show, the Lucy Show, he played Lucy’s boss Mr. Mooney. On a Halloween episode, he dressed up as Flash Gordon to attend a costume party.

One signature feature of hard boiled detectives is to be able to take a licking and keep on ticking. Dick Diamond doesn’t disappoint when he takes a good roughing up, and is thumped on the head early on. He has been warned to steer clear of taking a case. Who is Barton, and what’s the controversy with taking his case? The wealthy man’s son was set up for murder, and the thugs who set him up would prefer to keep on letting the law think the kid did it. When the price is right, and it’s worth Dick’s risking more danger with the thugs, he takes the case anyway. I guess money, and justice wins out over being shoved around by goons. Dodging the gangsters, Dick crosses paths with a gorgeous dame. Who is Lenore Brown, and what part does she play in the mystery? Can Dick unravel his mystery before he gets another beating, and maybe the last one he’ll ever have? There’s sure to be gunplay as secrets are revealed. The man with the scar is found, but with all the loose ends, and too many crooks to count, justice comes at a high price. Mostly for the bad guys. In epilog, Dick Diamond spends a few musical moments as he croons to his favorite gal.

Job shuffling is the name of the game after grandpap became Lum’s personal secretary. Abner is now the new telegraph boy, and Lum has to tend to the store all by himself. US Quincey is on hand for a Lumburger, and doc Withers adds his own absent minded input. The overworked Lum has put Ben Withers to work doing dishes, and frets under the load of work. Meanwhile, Abner swings in as free as a bird as he swaps the telegrams for tips. Can he convince Abner to come back? He only hired grandpap to keep from having to pay tips to him, but now Lum can’t get a lick of work out of him. What’s the latest news for the Meadowlark Restaurant? Celebrities have gathered at a swanky hotel in Florida, and demand Lumburgers. Too bad Abner can’t go, since he’s not working at the store any more. Will Lum get his way and win Abner back?

In Jack’s home in Beverly Hills Rochester comments on Jack’s preparations he takes to get ready for his performances in television. Such exotic behavior. He’s joined by Polly before the doorbell rings. The mailman delivers Jacks’s collection of magazines. Rochester goes to waken the sleeping Jack. Among the mail is a letter from Professor LeBlanc about Jack’s upcoming violin lesson, as well as a couple other business letters. A flyer from a car lot gives the Idea to Jack about getting a trade in for his beloved Maxwell. Mary comes in and gets a bit of misinformation about what Jack was really doing with his ironing board, and his exotic home entertainment. Phil phones in to invite Jack for a round of golf. Jokes creep in about Jack’s proposed car shopping, which surprises Phil and makes him think he has called the wrong phone number. Phil surprises Jack with word that Remley is drinking milk for a change. Don and the Sportsmen have entered, and have a special arrangement so Jack can help with his violin. It’s a Mendelson Swing song. With Mary and Rochester, Jack heads to the car lot as he talks about the kind of car he hopes to get. The Maxwell has some car trouble, and a couple of Jack’s fans spot him, and talk about him behind his back. With the car able to continue, Jack reads off the crazy names of some of the car dealers. Jack decides to visit Plain Bill, and is shown all the new features that are being installed on the new cars, gadgets with long and techie sounding names. So long that Mary has trouble repeating it. Mary wants to get a convertible, but Jack balks at the price. What kind of trade in can Jack get for his trusty Maxwell? The soft spoken, mellow, Plain Bill has a sudden emotional reaction upon seeing the Maxwell, but will a test ride in the Maxwell change his mind? Jack is offended at the extreme low trade in value, but the salesman is adamant. Rochester suggests that if Jack won’t go for a trade in, maybe he can get that high tech gadget that Mary had trouble saying earlier?

After an announcement of a radio tribute to the recently fallen acting great, Lionel Barrymore, the premiere episode of this popular Science Fiction show kicks off. In the far flung year of 1982 space travel has become commonplace. A series of spaceships have been mysteriously disappearing at a place in outer space. A military vessel is to launch to investigate the barrier region. A young navigator is about to prove himself as he flies with the same captain his father once served under. As the rocket is about to launch, a stowaway is discovered, and the drama of the importance for every detail to be exact is overplayed. The stowaway is a crusty old hand, Charlie, and he begs to go along. He wants to show that these kids today are just to green to handle a big task like this. The harsh captain shows a little softness, and lets the stowaway remain onboard, being a loyal former crew member. Although he is to be put off on the moon base. The blast off goes down without a hitch. The captain and his chief officers talk about what they think is going on at the barrier. Is it something physical? Is it just a field of radio interferance? What makes them think this rocket ship will fare any better than the others? The stowaway who was offloaded at the moon is now the radio contact back home. The captain continues to offer ideas for what the barrier is really about, and tells the story of the tension that is rampat in the crew. The young navigator, Collier, is called out by the captain and is recommended to stand down due to his apparent exhaustion. The captain comments that he’s so exhausted that he’s looking blue in the face. The brave young man has reasons for being diligent at his post. His dad was one of the officers lost on a previous lost rocket. Suddenly the moment arrives, and the barrier is breached. The ship has survived breaking through, and spirits soar. Have the men concquered the barrier? Before the milestone can be enjoyed, a radiation leak is detected. Searching for the leak, the captain commands that Tommy guns be taken along. What? Tommy guns? You have to be kidding me. What does he expect to do with guns to stop a leak? A spy is suspected, but seriously, all guns will do is risk doing even more damage to the structure of the ship. Back to the story. Regardless of the bravado, the source is found, but the captain is soon to discover that his situation has left his control. Things are no longer as they once seemed. Alien space ships approach, and little by little the blustery captain learns the tragic truth. His crew have all been killed by the aliens and he’s alone and helpless. Is there any hope to warn Earth? There’s a ray of hope when a radio message gets through… or does it? PS: I remember 1982. I guessed I must have missed out on the whole rocketship to space thing. Not to mention the Barrier Region fiasco. I hope they figured it out. (Just taking some good natured fun with Science Fiction concepts.)

A gorilla is stolen from a zoo. As they take a cab ride, Lamonte and Margot learn all the details of the theft from the cabbie. Later Lamonte hears of a known felon with an interest in the ape. A fortune teller becomes a player in the story. What supernatural things may be in store? What criminal activity could a gorilla be needed for? Margot Lane soon finds herself captured, and it’s up to the Shadow to get her free, and solve this mystery.

Two men talk to a third about lynching a horse thief. The scare seems enough to make one of them ride away not wanting any part of it, but the hanging continues. As the man, Digger is swinging, the man who rode off earlier rushes back to rescue the condemned man. The two men head to Dodge, and Digger promises to share some secrets along the way. Matt and Chester are informed of the attempted hanging, and the revenge that Digger now has planned for his accusers. Matt goes to see what Miss Kitty may know about Joe Digger. Can Matt diffuse the tension, and convince Digger to leave it in the hands of the law? As Matt goes to investigate, and talk with the assailants, will they be cooperative? Well of course not. Matt tries to take the one into custody for his own protection, but before they can ride to Dodge to collect the other would be hangman, the captive panics, and in his attempt to escape, gun shots boom out, and Matt’s prisoner is shot down. In the melee Chester had been wounded, and now Doc has him all patched up. The streets ofDodge are quiet for now, but Matt advises Doc to not turn in for bed just yet. Sure enough the sounds of gun fire break the silence, and Digger stands over his prize. Though Matt had warned him to stand down from the situation or face a murder charge, Digger panics and Matt has to lay some tough justice on the man.

A train is out of control, and heading for disaster. After Wild Bill springs into action to save the day for the train, he learns of more troubles brewing. Wrecks and accidents plague the rail line, and it’s hampering getting the construction finished. What can Bill and Jingles do to help with getting the rails put through? Who is behind the accidents, and why are they doing the damage? Bill asks questions, and learns about the wealthy businessman who stands to make money off the new railroad. Back at the rail camp, our heros have to face bush whackers, keep the work crews safe, and gather solid evidence on the bad guys. Bill has an idea that could keep construction going, and maybe even get finished by the deadline. It sounds crazy, but it just might work. If he’s able to play his cards right, he could even catch that troublesome bad guy. PS: Remember kiddies! The cereal boxes for the sponsor have been changed, so make sure you tell mom to get more and enjoy the new look.

Audio is a little soft and mushy. Still worried over the oysters he ordered, Lum is determined to learn how to cook them, although Abner thinks it’s a waste of time. They don’t even know how to coax them things out of their shells. Abner learns Lum’s intention to hire grandpap to act as his personal secretary to handle the flood of telegrams from top notch chefs who want the recipe for Lumburgers. For the kind of wages grandpap is getting, Abner is more than willing to take the job, should Lum change his mind. Grandpap enters to read the latest telegrams requesting the famous recipe. What he needs to do his work is a desk. Will he throw Lum out of his? Lum has about had enough of grandpap’s pushiness, until he realizes that the world is now calling him a genius. Doc Ben Withers enters, hinting grandpap is shirking his duties as Pine Ridge’s sole telegraph boy. Never fear, Abner to the rescue.

Lum is taking a break from his duties as chef of Lumburgers in the Meadowlark restaurant. He talks with Doc Ben Withers about his busy life. He shares some of his telegrams from around the country with doc. Will it be as impressive as doc’s telegram from president Grover Cleveland? Not only are the telegrams from famous restaurants, but Lum may be on the verge of revolutionizing America’s eating habits. Abner enters, but gets a little confused over the coconuts in the grove at the Coconut Grove. Will Abner be impressed with the telegram from Grover Cleveland that Doc still tries to tell about, but hasn’t quite gotten his message out? More confusion reigns for Abner when a fellow in the hat business wants Lum’s recipe for use in the Brown Derby. Getting his big chance to brag, Doc recounts in detail how and why he recieved his telegram. He even produces it to show off. This won’t be a let down, will it?

Price is no object when customers order Lumburgers in the Meadowlark restaurant, and Lum tells how restaurants across the country clamour for his recipe. Abner has armed himself with a baseball bat, and a plan to crack open the oysters that Lum bought. Why is Abner hiding behind the counter? Will he need to lure the oysters out of their shells? Grandpap has more telegrams for Lum. The chef at the Waldorf Astoria wants Lum’s recipe for Lumburgers. As does the chefs at the Chase Hotel in St Louis, and the Hotel Peabody in Tennessee. Abner is thrilled to learn there’s a hotel with the name of Peabody. Does he have some rich relatives? What will Lizabeth think of that? Will grandpap ever get his tip for delivering his telegrams?

A disfunctional wealthy couple argue over the evening newspaper. She is a socialite who is running around on her husband, and she is worried he might be heading out to kill her lover. Elsewhere, Richard Diamond has his plans for nightclubbing interupted when the rich man, Mr Sears, hires him to get solid evidence on his promiscuous wife. Not the prefered job for Dick, but it pays well, and he can combine some business with pleasure. Things go bad when an altercation breaks out in the club, and Dick is once again out of a job. Can it get worse? Fred Sears shows up in Dick’s office, and he’s dead. By now, you’ve got the big picture, the scandal, the skeletons, and the players who would want Fred dead. Ride along with Richard Diamond to go through the facts with a fine tooth comb and see if you can figure out this mystery. Was it the unfaithful wife, her lover, or the newspaper man who airs the family scandal on the front page? Don’t worry, Richard knows, and so will you when he springs his trap and explains it all.

Cedric enters the store to talk with Abner about the oysters that he and Squire ordered the day before. It was all just a plan to make Lum mad. Is Squire out to turn the town against the Meadowlark restaurant? Seeing that Cedric was only being used by Squire, Abner lets him in on the secret of the delivery of Lum’s oysters. Amazed at the appearance of what looks like a box of rocks on ice, Cedric is glad he never had to eat one. How do you cook one of them things? Imagine Cedric’s grief to learn those little critters are all dead. Might they make sandwiches out of them, like one of Lum’s Lumburgers? Lum enters just in time to rescue the oysters from the meat grinder, shells and all. He tries to explain that oysters are served raw, and on the half shell. Well I’ll be a polka dotted ‘possum! A telegram comes in and Lum discovers that his Lumburgers are indeed world famous. People from California to Detroit want permission to serve Lumburgers. Will Lum be able to show up Squire when he comes in to ask for oysters again?