Retro Radio Podcast

Peter Van Steeden and his singers kick off the show by singing, Boo Hoo. Fred reads the Town Hall Bulletin with stories including: matches, and rear ends. In the news: Outstanding underdogs of 1936, movies, and wives. Town Hall awards go to people who managed special accomplishments in movie theaters, and loud singers. Income tax for Hollywood celebrities is portrayed. The flap jack champion of America is interviewed. The band plays, I Got Rhythm. Portland enters with the latest from her family. Papa has a new invention for putting sugar in coffee, and a suit with a rubber collar. Fred is interupted by an argument from some intruders on the stage. They turn out to be lawyers, and the jokes go there as well. The lawyers offer their services to Fred for suing Jack Benny. The Town Hall Quartet sing, The Farmer in the Dell. Followed by the mid show station break The Mighty Allen Art Players present Murder on the High Seas, or One Long Pan Helps Boy Meet Gull. As the captain talks to his crew, the nautical jokes reign. Then news of a murder is learned. There’s only one man who can help, One Long Pan. The oriental detective enters with his own style of sailig jokes. The Hong Kong Hillbilly interviews the murdered man’s wife to try to determine the cause of death. Maybe that bullet hole in his chest might be a clue? The murders keep coming,and so do the puns and jokes of One Long Pan. What does it all mean? With all the bodies piling up, One Long Pan manages to solve the crime wholesale. What is the clue that ties it all together? Peter Van Steeden and the Ipana Trubadors perform, Slumming on Park Avenue. Town Hall Variety. Fred teases Jack Benny about his social graces, and about Jack talking to Stewart Canon playing the Bee, claiming that Jack’s a bully. Fred threatens to crash Jack’s show next week. Which, although Jack doesn’t appear in tonight’s show, he has been broadcasting his show from New York for a temporary run at this time. It’s amateur night, and the amateurs include: Peter Rogers, who plays musical glasses, Some of These Days. Professor Quiggley, the escape artist who can’t escape. Fred and the prof argue over being cheated when he goes over the time limit and Fred has to open the box. Hilliarious. A mixed choir sings, All God’s Children Got Shoes.

The absolute last of my Amos and Andy double features. I mean it this time. Until I find more of the old classics from before the 1940’s. First Show: Singing Recital Postponed. 09-21-1939. The announcer reports technical difficulties, and an organ interlude is presented instead. The show begins with Andy talking with Kingfish about a recent singing recital where Andy bombed in singing his part. Andy attempts to justify himself, and brags that he can do better if given another chance. Kingfish reads the critical review about the performance in the news paper. Andy deals with his rejection by discussing the matter with Henry VanPorter. Henry, Kingfish, and Andy talk about the tallent show, and who might be to blame for the weaker points of the show, and the practicing that goes into producing a show. Amos enters to get in on the discussion about the show. Second show: Sign On The Dotted Line. 03-10-1944. Andy is searching for Madam Queen. He needs to find her to sign for a financial agreement that would result in Andy becoming $600 richer. Kingfish fills in details of events from last week’s show, and as he talks with Henry VanPorter, he shares his plan to get a part of the cash. Meanwhile, Andy and Amos talk about more of the reasons Andy needs to find Madam Queen. Kingfish and Andy read through the day’s letters and bills. One good thing happens when they learn of Madam Queen’s whereabouts. As Kingfish plots to get Andy’s money, Andy gets all spiffed up as he prepares to butter up his long lost gal. Kingfish coaches Andy on how to speak to Madam Queen, but in the process Lightning walks in for a comical moment of misunderstanding. The friends move to Andy’s office to get some paper flowers, and get some fast talk from Gabby. The moment finally arrives for Andy to meet Madam Queen at her beauty parlor. The two chat about old times, but will she sign the paperwork? More than that, are old flames rekindling? Later, he and Amos talk about Andy’s feelings for his old gal. As rosy as things may appear for Andy, little does he know that Kingfish is about to ambush him with his business proposal to snag the money. In a last minute plot twist, Kingfish is foiled, and the money remains safe.

Rebounding from their first day in the restaurant business, Lum tries to think of ways to expand. Advertising is the answer that he’s looking for to get the local crowd in to eat his world famous pancakes. Abner gets confused at Lum’s figure of speech about making a spot announcement. It doesn’t involve jaguars, or zebras, does it? All Abner has to do is read the advertisements over the party line that Lum has written. Lum even names the restaurant, the Meadowlark Restaurant, so he can capitolize on Cedric’s bird whistle as an ad gimmick. How’s the first on air spot announcement going to work out? The fire alarm ring is given to get folks on the line. Cedric gives his familiar call of the meadowlark as the ad copy is read. Time passes, and Lum sends out announcement #14. Abner is too tired to keep up the pace, Doc is confused over where the fire is at, and Cedric still has trouble blowing his meadowlark call on cue. What’s the mews that grandpap has just arrived with, and how will it affect Lum’s announcements?

Angelino Giuseppi is a butcher, who tells Richard Diamond about being roughed up by a protection racket in town. As a favor to his friend, Richard hires on as an assistant butcher to catch the tough guys and catch them at their own game. Richard is a hit with the clientelle, but will he be the one who is the hit with the extortionists? Get ready for some head thumping fun. The latest round of beatings is enough to convince Angellino to pay up. Richard is ready to take the matter to his friends down at the police station. What can Walt tell him about Red and Carl, the thugs in question? They have pretty impressive backgrounds with the legal system. All it does is give Richard direction to vent a little of his fury, and he goes to have a show down with the big boss behind the racket, and does his own head thumping. A trip to an abandoned warehouse is called for, and a trap is planned for the two thugs. Guns come out, but Richard proves he can handle the situation. It turns into a stealthy and deadly case of cat and mouse. Will the hunter become the hunted? When the cops arrive, who will they find as the last man standing?

Life is full of unsolved mysteries, but one of the most pressing is why the Elks club would make Fibber their Financial Secretary. He writes a speach to deliver at the next meeting, but needs a little spelling help from Molly. It seems the mortgage is about to be paid off, and a ceremonial burning of the mortgage is to take place. Mayor LaTrivia stops in to talk about the ceremony. The conversation turns towards fishing, and then the Mayor gets bent out of shape when the McGee’s get him confused about fishing termonology. Billy Mills plays, Someone Like You. Fibber talks to Molly about bees, and how to make money off them. The Old Timer stops them on their way to the Elk’s club to talkabout his night out with a lady wrestler. They are next stopped by their chatty neighbor who has appeared in at least one recent show. She is played by Bea Benaderet. Harlow Wilcox makes his appearance at the Elks club, and of course a commercial ensues. Wallace Wimple shows up to pitch in before it’s all done. McGee gets the bonfire soaked with kerosene, then the burning ceremony gets a little out of hand. The Kingsmen sing, Clancey Lowered the Boom. Fibber tries to lay blame, when Doc Gamble arrives to report on the safety of the party goers. With the building burned down, where will the Elks meet? The challenge is to build a new building, which will cost more money, and a new mortgage. Doc offers some help with testimony in Fibbers behalf. Will the Mayor lend a hand? Is Fibber going to be in trouble at the loss of the old fire trap? The Mayor has a nice surprise for him at the end. Not to mention a surprise from Fibber in return.

A gentleman is in the police station to give the details of the burglary. Joe and Frank hit the streets, and interview people in the neighborhood. The people aren’t very attentive, and are prone to make assumptions that deliverymen really are deliverymen. How oblivious, and trusting, just the thing that burglars thrive on. Eventually, facts emerge that are of use, but after some injuries occur. Amid the trusting souls who seem so clueless to any forces of evil in the universe, and especially in their neck of the woods, a culprit has been tracked down. Joe Friday confronts a woman who tells about her criminal husband, then has her dreams shattered yet again when she learns the latest from the cops. The only redeeming thing she has to say is that at least the crook is devoted to his daughter. Though the guy is a crook, he’s a thoughtful father, and will be present at his daughter’s birthday party. The cops pick him up, but will they be heartless enough to disappoint the little girl? It’s not her fault she has an unfit father.

Featuring WC Fields and Ann Shirley. WC Fields is a con man, and scam artist who has a nearly grown daughter who he somehow managed to raise to have normal morals and ethics. She wants to run away from the circus that is their lives, and settle down in a nice town. Though she wants the best for her dear old dad, he just isn’t the settling down kind of guy. Scenes commence to showcase the classic comedy of WC Fields in action. He draws crowds as he parts cash from the folks that are drawn to his trap. He cuts up, and insults in that sly, nasal voice of his. Fields sweet talks the ladies, as he works through some of his famous routines on drinking, and his art of telling the tall tale. Luck seems to be falling on WCFields when he learns of a story of a rich heiress. The situation fits quite nicely with the age of his own daughter, and he makes plans to pull a swindle to pass his girl off as the missing heiress. Meanwhile, the daughter begins to become romantic with a young fellow. Will this be her chance at happiness, and settling down? Will the daughter go for just one final swindle before she parts ways? WC Fields is now trying his hand at selling his best snake oil, and convincing the authorities in charge of the estate that his girl is the one they’re looking for. He does a classic job of blowing smoke in answering questions, or in evading questions, as he pushes his daughter as their person. News, rumors, and gossip spreads that the search for the missing heiress is over. There’s a lot on the line to clinch the deal, and WC Fields, Poppy, doesn’t want the daughter to develop a conscience, or mess things up, so he tells her that he really isn’t her father, and that he found her years ago. Will she believe it? Is he telling the truth for once, or is this just another of his scams? There’s some solid proof in the form of a locket that is linked to the long lost heiress. WC Fields has suddenly found to be less than trustworthy, and is soon to be run out of town. In the end, WC Fields is a guy who just can’t settle down, but in providing for the only daughter he has ever known, he has succeeded in connecting her with a fortune, and a nice place to have the settled life she has dreamed of. They part ways with admiration for the other as she begins her settled life, and Poppy hits the road for more adventures at the next carnival. Notes: The film, Poppy, is the source of that famous line, “Never Give a sucker an even break.” However, the scene from the film can’t be done true justice on a radio show, since it involved a bit of pantomime. WC Fields might not be a name that modern youngsters easily recognize. I’ll bet that as soon as they hear his voice, and listen to his mannerisms, they’ll rapidly recognize the character, which is just as iconic as that trademark moustache and eyebrows of Groucho Marx. Only this is no imitation, no voice actor doing a cartoon impersonation, it’s the real deal. WC Fields began his entertainment career as a juggler, and is said to not be a drinker. His famous persona as a drinker came about when he would buy the stuff to lure fellow entertainers into his dressing room, or boarding house apartments for socialization. The habit soon developed, and eventually became part of him, and his act. His character is one that tends to hate women and children, most probably due to his failed marriage, and being cut off from his beloved son. It’s just my opinion, but the act may have just been a coping mechanism for him at the loss he felt, and just became one more facet of his character. The first spoken lines that WC Fields uttered on stage came at the urging of his close friends in the Ziegfeld Follies, Fanny Brice and Ed Winn. It was Ed Winn who wrote his first act, and helped with the transition from having a non-talking act, a dumb act,

After opening his restaurant, and petitioning to have the busline stop in Pine Ridge, Lum is in anticipation as he waits for the first bus crowd. Abner tells about a possible rift between Luke Spears, and Lum over getting the bus traffic. The new business is all due to Doc Ben Withers, and connections with a friend of his. Will Cedric be able to keep up with washing the dishes fast enough to keep up with the rush? Grandpap arrives, and is assigned his battle station. As Lum over sees the final moments, and demands equipment checks, Doc Ben Withers talks about people he has known, and the interesting things they’ve done. Fast forward a little bit, and Lum’s military precision pays off as the last of the crowd filter out, and the gents are wore to a frazzle. Did they do good? Abner shares his exploits as waiter, and dealing with the hungry crowd. What kind of profits did they make? What did Lum forget in his preparations?

Alice talks to the girls about her idea to redecorate. It seems that part of the show has been snipped, as it switches abruptly to the following scene. Remley is still living with the family, and he talks with Phil about his latest business idea. He wants to invest in a boxing kangaroo. After a few rounds of joking about the idea, and Phil helping with advice to improve Frankie’s behavior to get along with Alice, he sings, Is It True What they Say About Dixie. Frankie tries to bbe nice to Alice, but storms off after being insulted. Maybe if Frankie were married he would leave? Maybe Willie can help? Naw. It comes out that the contractor can’t make it, and that Alice has two rooms in mind for decorating, although Phil doesn’t realize that yet. With little Alice having a birthday soon she wants to do the kid’s room first. Alice sings in vaudevillian style, Russian Rosy. Phil can’t get a replacement wallpaperer, and when the decorator drops off a box of wallpaper, and a few jokes are traded about who the real star of the show is, Phil and Remley decide no harm can be done in doing the room themselves. They believe that it’s just the one room to be done, and they get started in Phil’s bedroom. Julius drops in to create a little havok and drops a bucket of paste on Frankie. After the paste is removed, and wallpaper is hung, the mistakes are pointed out. Remley points out the morbid wallpaper, with the dead animals. Dead Animals? Just listen and figure it out. Then there’s the covered windows and door. Alice’s excitement is mistaken for a happy excitement, until she threatens to go home to mother.

Jack Benny – Dons 15th Anniversary On Radio. 380306. As Don begins the introduction, Jack takes over with a nice word to congradulate Don for his 15 years in radio. Don shares his history, beginning as a singer, then moving into being an announcer. Don claims to have been slim in his first years. Phil shares some good words, and claims to remember Don when Phil was still playing drums in a band. Jack and Phil do some battling of wits over which is better, a drum or a violin. Mary enters with a poem to honor Don. Through the fun we learn that both Don, and bandleader Paul Whiteman were born in Denver, Colorado. Phil dedicates a song that was popular in 1923, the year Don got his start, to Don, and sings, Dark Town Strutters Ball. Jack and Phil swap insults about how bad the other looks. Mary tells secrets on Jack’s visit to Carol Lumbard’s house. Kenny arrives to tell about his love life, and the troubles he has with his gal. Kenny sings, Tippy Tin. After the cast has spent the show bickering, Don stands up for himself, and the honor of his anniversary. Jack has a special announcer take over for Don to do the mid show commercial, but when he can’t be understood, Don swoops in for the rescue. Jack has his own surprise for Don, and wants to play, Thanks for the Memories. A song written by the same folks who wrote his signature song, Love in Bloom. Before Jack can begin, a knock at the door finds the song composers entering to talk to Jack alone. They try to bribe him to not playy it. Though Jack gives it an interesting go, the writers heckle him. Jack does some showing off to prove that he really can play. Phil plays, into the closing commercial where Don shares another recipe tip for Jello. Trivia Alert: Though Don was never as large a the jokes imply, he was a hefty man, and probably was that way at his start in radio. His primary job was as a sports announcer and commentator. He is self proclaimed as having no tallent at acting, singing, dancing, and ll the things a radio star might need. Although he has proven that he does have some acting and voice characterization ability over the years on Jack’s show.

Under cover of darkness, a couple youth raid the juicy grapes of a vineyard. What will David’s mother think of the prank when he is caught? An example needs to be made for ruining the grapes. Which will hurt David’s mother worse, being dragged out to stand before the judge, or running away to join a caravan? Mom finds out about the crime, and the disappearance only worries her all the more. Although not a lost coin, a lost son is more valuable. Traveling with her other son, Simeon, mom persists in chasing after David. On the road, David tries making a way for himself with the caravan traders. Thinking his crimes are worse than they are, he falls prey to Wiley merchants who want to use him. Will he be finding himself sinking deeper into a life of crime? Mom may not be as healthy as her sons, or the men in the caravan across the desert, but she is tenacious in her pursuit. Is there any hope in catching up to her errant son? Will he end up dead? Will he be too deep into crime to rescue? Mom won’t stop until she finds her lost son. Will there be a happy reunion? Will guilt and shame be exchanged for reconciliation? PS: This also aired as ep140, 500305.

Get ready for another rootin’ tootin’ western adventure as you ride along with Guy Madison and Andy Devine. Today theives run rampant, but the one that is troubling wild Bill the most is a fantom theif. Bill and Jingles talk about a miner friend as they ride into town. The place is deserted, and it has Jingles spooked. When they hear the churchbell ring, a threatening note is found. More discoveries are made by Bil while Jingles is afraid at the spooky ghost town. In the light of day, the sheriff is found to tell of the disaster, and jinx thhat caused the problems in Gold Circle. Machinery ran by itself, and other occurances like cave ins, and more. Despite the details Jingles is still jumpy as a cat, but Bill thinks there’s more to the ghost sories about the mine. Tim Frawley, another man in town takes Bill to the mine to investigate, and a few secrets are revealed. Trapped in the mine shaft, and with a creepy warning called out to them, Bill keeps turning up clues that there’s a human element behind all the ghostly activity. Cave ins threaten to bury our heros, but the old timer behind the pranks hasn’t seen the last of wild Bill. Besides catching the bad guy, all the pranks behind the haunting is exposed.

Similar to Gunsmoke – The Hunter. 560304, but in that episode the hunter is a fearless old coot, who runs amok, killing buffalo. He thinks the buffalo are expendable, and its of no concern of his who he hurts. When he’s being chased, he pins Matt and Chester down under gunfire. They’re only rescued when the Indians sneak up on the shooter to get their own revenge for the lost buffalo. Compare to Gunsmoke – Buffalo Man. 560520. When Matt rides to a buffalo camp to investigate a murder he finds more problems. A young girl is being oppressed by the boss of the camp, and needs rescuing. A dim witted side kick has mixed loyalties for his corrupt boss, and in doing what’s actually right. When Indians raid the camp, Mat and Chester face the trouble of convincing them that they aren’t part of the buffalo camp. In today’s story, Matt and Chester check out the commotion as the Buffalo hunters ride into town with their hides. They’re also bringing the body of a fellow skinner, but was it as simple of an accident as the boss, Gatlin, reports? Matt doubts it was an accident, and plans to check it out closer as Chester takes care of getting the body buried. At the camp, men are questioned, and it becomes more clear that it was murder. Does Matt have enough evidence to prove it though? More word of trouble in the buffalo camps reach Matt, and he rides out with Chester to look for clues. A boy named Yorkie provides Matt with the word he needs to chase after the killer. Even among the hunters, they fear they might be over hunting the buffalo, and stirring up trouble with the Indians. Though Matt is in pursuit of the killer, it’s only in riding a gruesome trail of buffalo carcasses that he knows his trail is fresh. For now Matt’s only a few steps behind his man, but with the abuses done not only to men, but the buffalo herds, the Indians might have something to say on the matter. In fact, if they catch up with the killer before Matt does, his demise might go harder on him, but it’ll save Matt the trouble of taking him in. PS: Yorkie is voiced by Dick Beals.

It’s Thanksgiving in Pine Ridge, and Abner is sharing the meal at Lum’s house. Lum has a live turkey that he wants to furnish for the festivities. Abner gets confused about Lum’s technique for fattening up the bird. At the chopping block, Lum begins to drag his feet as he admires the prize turkey, checks the sharpness of his ax, and thinks up other delays for the event. Abner is surprised to learn that Lum has even given the doomed bird a name. The delays continue, but Abner patiently listens to Lum. He suggests Lum look the other way, or to go in the house to avoid witnessing the dreaded event. Lum is ready to simply order out from Luke Spears restaurant, but has Abner softened towards the bird as well? Note: Listeners may know that the two actors and creators behind Lum and Abner are Chet Lauck and Norris “Tuffy” Goff. Did you know that Chet is a shortened form for the name Chester?No wonder Lum is hesitant to put an end to the turkey.

The discussion of how much of an idiot Lou is is briefly interupted by an early show musical interlude, followed by more of Bud’s joking disgust at the lunacy. The conversation drifts into topics about Lou’s family and childhood. Bud gets his turn to reveal crazy secrets about his family, , then Viola, the new secretary is on hand to help with the jokes on love and dating. After a musical intermission, and before the Sam Shovel story, Lou and Bud spend a few moments squeezing a few more one liners on dating, and necking. According to Lou, the name of the Sam Shovel feature is something like, ‘He was in the Darkroom, or He was Caught with his Prints Down’. But as usual, the titles ar seldom related to the actual stream of one liners that follow. Today, Sam and his police detective sidekick, Abbott take on a group of hillbillies in the Ozarks, and Zeke the moonshiner.