Counselor Toolbox Podcast

Relationship Skills 101 for Teens: Using DBT to Deal with Intense Emotions Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Continuing Education credits for this podcast can be earned at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/585/c/ Objectives ~    Looking at yourself ~    Examining relationships ~    How up and down emotions fuel the relationship rollercoaster ~    Stop letting your emotions control you ~    Reduce your judgements to improve your attitude ~    Stop fighting reality and deal with it ~    Don’t let your urges control you ~    Improving your relationship with yourself Looking at Yourself ~    What are the problems in your relationships ~    What are some of the behaviors you are engaging in that are causing these problems? ~    Become Mindful—Live in the present ~    The Past ~    Remember the good ~    Learn from and let go of the bad ~    The Future ~    Identify dreams ~    Avoid creating catastrophes that haven’t happened yet Mindfulness Exercises ~    Pay attention throughout the day if you are focusing on the task at hand or … ~    Dwelling on the past ~    Fretting about the possibilities ~    Practice acceptance ~    When emotions are triggered, identify them and let them go instead of feeding them ~    Try not to judge ~    What does it mean to judge yourself? Thoughts? Others? Examining Relationships ~    Healthy Relationships ~    Communication ~    Acceptance ~    Healthy boundaries and limit setting ~    Compassion ~    What do you want from your relationships? ~    Examine your relationships ~    What are they providing for you ~    What is lacking ~    Write a “My Best Friend” essay Benefits of Healthy Relationships ~    Provide validation and acceptance ~    A sense of belonging ~    Self confidence ~    Social support Relationship Rollercoaster ~    Your interpretations of events are based on ~    Your current state ~    Your prior experiences ~    The event itself ~    When you are tired, sick, depressed etc. it is easier to focus on the negative or get irritable ~    Emotional rollercoasters are caused by immediately reacting to every stimulus without awareness or acceptance Teens Lives Can Feel Overwhelming ~    Teens have fewer experiences and skills against which to assess current experiences ~    Developmentally teens are trying to figure out where they fit in the world, so they often feel vulnerable ~    Teens have often been provided with acceptance and encouragement based on conditions of worth Exiting the Rollercoaster ~    Keep a journal for a week of what upsets you ~    At the end of the week, review the journal ~    What, in retrospect, doesn’t seem so bad ~    How could you have used that same energy to address the situation? ~    What was going on that made you more vulnerable to getting upset? Stop Letting Your Emotions Control You ~    Emotions are a combination of feelings, thoughts and urges. ~    They are a natural response based on what your brain thinks is happening. ~    Your brain is not always right. ~    Feel the feeling.  Label it and let it go. ~    OMG I am totally going to fail this test… ~    Mark asked Samantha to prom instead of me… ~    She is such a $#!@% Reduce Your Judgements to Improve Your Attitude ~    Judgements often… ~    Compare us to others instead of focusing on ourselves ~    Tear down others to make us feel better about ourselves ~    Tear down ourselves to protect us from disappointm

Relationship Skills and Relationship Saboteurs Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Counseling CEs for this topic can be earned at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/612/c/ Objectives ~     Tips for Sweetening Your Relationship ~     Steps for Building Empathy ~     Tips for a Closer Relationship ~     Tips for Compromise ~     Tips for Getting Your Needs Met ~     Tips for Giving Emotional Support ~     Tips for Being More Thoughtful Tips for Sweetening Your Relationship ~    Love is a combination of emotions and actions including talking, compassion and trust. ~    Rewrite your vows/promises ~    Have a re-commitment ceremony ~    Imagine what life would be like if your partner were gone ~    Communicate to your partner in his or her love language ~    Receiving gifts ~    Quality time ~    Words of affirmation ~    Acts of service (devotion) ~    And physical touch Sweetening ~    Make an effort ~    Write down a list of things your partner could do that would make you feel loved/happy and exchange them. ~    Remember (or get Google to remind you) of birthdays, anniversaries, or just happy occasions and celebrate ~    Celebrate for no reason ~    If you have a disagreement, take a step back and try to see it from your partner’s point of view Sweetening ~    Don’t let fear of being vulnerable or abandonment undermine you ~    Share hopes, dreams and fears. ~    If becoming vulnerable makes you also become critical and defensive, identify and work through the reasons ~    Think back to hopes and dreams you shared when you were dating…make it happen ~    Remind you partner of the qualities you love about them. Building Empathy ~    Empathy vs. sympathy ~    Put yourself in their shoes (with their experiences) ~    Identify 3 alternate reasons you partner may be feeling/acting the way he or she is ~    If your child was going through this situation, how would you feel? ~    Remember that what you would want and need is not necessarily what your partner wants and needs. ~    Allow yourself to listen as if your only job is to understand ~    Without preconceptions ~    Knowing that you know nothing ~    Free from trying to create consistency between your feeling/perceptions and your partner’s feelings and perceptions… for now just focus on understanding the unique experience of your partner. Empathy ~    Think of a difficult time that you experienced and answer all the questions ~    What was your perception of the occurrence? ~    What was troubling about this occurrence? ~    What were the emotions that you felt at the time of the occurrence? ~    What emotions are being expressed in this moment? ~    What do you need from you (which is often just to be empathetic)? ~    Start by taking time by yourself to practice using these skills on yourself… your ability to understand your own emotions will directly affect your ability to empathize with your partner. Empathy ~    When your partner is relaying a difficult experience, listen to be able to understand: ~    What was his/her perception of the occurrence? ~    What was troubling about this occurrence? ~    What were the emotions that he/she felt at the time of the occurrence? ~    What emotions are being expressed in this moment? ~    What does he/she need from you (which is often just to be empathetic)? ~    This can also be practiced in group or at home using media clips of people arguing. Tips for a Closer Relationship ~    Use relationships to teach you how to be whole (

Love Me Don’t Leave Me Addressing Fears of Abandonment Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes PhD, LPC-MHSP, LMHC, NCC Executive Director, AllCEUs *Based in part on Love Me Don’t Leave Me by Michelle Skeen, PsyD. Counseling CEUs can be earned for this presentation here: https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/517/c/ Objectives ~    Help clients increase awareness of their story including beliefs about and behavioral reactions to situations that trigger their fear of abandonment ~    Learn about fear of abandonment ~    Explore the concept of schemas or core beliefs ~    Examine common traps in thinking, reacting and relationships ~    Learn skills necessary to ~    Accept their past as part of their story ~    Acknowledge that their past does not have to continue to negatively impact them in the present How It Impacts Recovery ~    Connection is a basic human need ~    As infants and children, survival was dependent upon the relationship with the primary caregiver ~    People’s beliefs about other people and relationships was formed largely based on their interactions with their caregivers ~    Healthy relationships serve as a buffer against stress How It Impacts Recovery ~    Addressing beliefs that formed as a result of these relationships will help people: ~    Create a new understanding of these events ~    Better understand themselves and their reactions ~    Help them make more conscious, healthy decisions in their current relationships Abandonment Experience ~    In childhood, survival depends on caregivers. ~    Fear of abandonment is a natural survival response ~    Meeting biological needs and safety are key triggers for anxiety at any age. ~    When focused on survival people cannot focus elsewhere ~    Every stressful situation becomes a crisis in the insecurely attached child Abandonment Experience ~    In infancy/early childhood, caregivers were: ~    Away for long periods (Work, military, jail, choice, death) ~    Been inconsistently or unpredictably physically or emotionally present. (emotional distress, addiction, ill equipped to deal with a child) ~    In later childhood ~    Poor family fit/black-sheep ~    Trauma that ruptures the relationship with the primary caregiver ~    Introduction of a new, less emotionally or physically safe caregiver Reactions to Fears of Abandonment ~    Fight or flight ~    Anger toward someone who is unavailable ~    Sadness (helplessness) when someone goes away ~    Shame (Self anger) about feeling needy ~    Fear ~    Rejection/isolation ~    Loss of control/the unknown ~    Failure ~    Questions for clients ~    What caused these fears as a child?  How were they reasonable/helpful. ~    What causes these fears now?  How are they unhelpful? Temperament ~    Based on their temperament, children need different types and amounts of caregiver interaction ~    Wide open and easily overstimulated ~    The energizer bunny ~    The introvert ~    The extrovert ~    If abandonment fears are triggered in early childhood, it can be addressed. *It is important to pay attention to the behaviors that are being reinforced Schemas ~    Based on their needs and caregivers reactions, children form schemas or core beliefs about the world and others ~    Important points about children under 7: (ages 8-12 children are developing alternate cognitive skills) ~    Children think dichotomously ~    Children are egocentric ~    Children can only focus on one aspect at a time ~    Children cannot think abstractly (consider other “possibl

Emotional Eating Making Peace with Food Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Counselor CEs are available for this presentation at: https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/search?q=emotional+eating Objectives ~    Define emotional eating ~    Explore emotional eating in terms of its beneficial functions and rewards ~    Discuss why restrictive diets do not resolve emotional eating What is Emotional Eating ~    Eating in response to emotions and feelings other than hunger. ~    Eating AT someone (You made me do this) ~    Eating to forget/distract ~    Eating to feel better (release serotonin and dopamine) ~    Eating out of boredom ~    Eating out of habit ~    Not all emotional eaters have an eating disorder ~    You do not have to “binge” to be an emotional eater Why is Eating So Soothing ~    Eating as an infant often involved closeness and parental attention (oxytocin) ~    Caregiver generally happy during feeding ~    Food may be associated with sleep (night time bottle) ~    Eating as a toddler ~    Exploration and mastery ~    Power and control ~    Formation of memories around foods ~    Unhealthy foods usually reserved for treats or rewards Soothing cont… ~    Culturally we associate eating with caring and celebration ~    Low blood sugar an cause feelings of depression/anxiety which are quelled by food ~    Evolution predisposes the human body to crave high-sugar, high-fat, high-calorie foods for quick energy and to prepare for famine What is Behind the Craving ~    First rule out physical causes ~    Low blood sugar (anxiety, irritability, fatigue) ~    Lack of sleep (sugar and stimulants) ~    Dehydration ~    Nutritional Causes ~    High carbohydrate/starchy foods: Serotonin, endorphins ~    Chocolate: Magnesium, serotonin ~    Fatty foods: Omega-3 ~    Soda: Calcium What’s behind… ~    Then rule out habits ~    Is there a particular time or activity that makes you crave this food? ~    Are there particular times you mimndLESSly eat? ~    Driving ~    Television ~    Are you going too long between meals then needing a sugar boost (which leads to a sugar crash…) Emotional Eating Interventions ~    Mindful eating ~    Food diary ~    When eating… ~    Use a plate ~    Sit ~    Eliminate distractions ~    Focus on the food EE Interventions cont… ~    Try to avoid setting up a binge by ~    Restricting certain foods ~    Buying a bunch of “comfort foods” ~    Going too long without eating ~    Initially distract (bath, walk, call a friend, facebook…) ~    Identify the emotions ~    If it is depression: Hopeless, helpless ~    If it is stress/anxiety/anger: Failure, Rejection, Loss of control, the unknown General Coping ~    Develop alternate ways of coping with distress ~    Distract ~    Talk it out ~    Journal ~    Make a pro and con list ~    Focus on the positive ~    View failures as learning opportunities ~    Identify whether it is worth your energy General Coping ~    Develop alternate ways of coping with distress ~    ABCs: A= _____  C= Emotional Reaction ~    Eliminate vulnerabilities ~    Be compassionate with yourself ~    Urge surf ~    Other tools ~    Close the kitchen ~    Brush your teeth ~    Meditate ACT for Emotional Eating ~    What am I feeling/thinking ~    What is important to me ~    Will emotional eating get me closer to or further away from what is important to me ~    What other things could I do that would get me closer to my goals

Assertiveness Skills Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Counseling continuing education credits can be earned for this presentation at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/34/c/ Objectives ~    Define Assertiveness ~    Overcoming the Stress Barrier ~    Overcoming the Social Barrier ~    Overcoming the Belief Barrier ~    Reality Check ~    Nonverbal behavior ~    Giving your opinion ~    Giving constructive (not critical) feedback ~    Making requests without trying to control What is Assertiveness ~    Assertiveness means stating your feelings, wants and needs ~    Clearly ~    With ownership ~    With conviction…. (but…I don’t know…) Why is Assertiveness Important ~    When you are passive or aggressive, your feelings wants and needs are often not heard ~    This lead to feelings of: ~    Isolation ~    Resentment/Anger ~    Depression/Helplessness The Stress Barrier: Fight, Flee or Freeze ~    Becoming assertive is stressful ~    You have to change the way you interact with others ~    Others have to change the way they interact with you ~    In the past when you were in a stressful situation did you withdraw? Become aggressive? Shut down? ~    The stress response is designed to protect you ~    Ignoring the urge to fight or flee is extremely difficult until assertiveness has proven itself. The Social Barrier ~    People in your social circle expect you to act and react a certain way. ~    Changing your behavior confuses other people ~    Our egocentric society leads people to expect that if you change your behavior, it has to do with THEM ~    People strive for consistency. ~    If you used to be aggressive, they may interpret the change as depression, disengagement or exploitable weakness ~    If you used to be passive, they may interpret the change as rejection and push away The Belief Barrier ~    Reality is 90% perception and 10% fact ~    Our interpretations greatly influence our reactions ~    What influences interpretations ~    Vulnerabilities (pain, exhaustion) ~    Prior learning experience ~    Transference and overgeneralization ~    The other person’s nonverbals Threat Assessment ~    Failure to be assertive stems from: ~    Prior efforts to be assertive being punished ~    Fear of rejection ~    Need for external validation Reality Check ~    Checking your automatic or current beliefs against reality ~    What is my perception of what is going on? ~    What evidence do I have for and against this perception? ~    What were the words? ~    What were the nonverbals? ~    How valid is that evidence? ~    Am I reacting to feelings or FACTS? ~    Am I magnifying or catastrophizing? ~    Have I stated my feelings and needs objectively and clearly? Nonverbals Giving Your Opinion ~    We all have opinions. ~    Opinions are qualitative (good, bad, fair, helpful…) ~    Opinions are a combination of the current situation PLUS prior learning ~    Own your opinion ~    Good opinions are based in fact. (…because…) ~    Support your opinion with evidence ~    Did you like that movie? ~    Yes (or no), because… ~    If the opinion is negative, identify what you would change ~    Respect other’s opinions Constructive Feedback ~    Constructive feedback is objective and measurable. ~    Lazy vs. has failed to complete his assignments for the past 3 weeks ~    Stupid vs. Has difficulty with following basic instructions for opening his register

Conquering the Critical Inner Voice Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs CEs can be earned for this presentation at: https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/611/c/ Objectives ~    Define the critical inner voice ~    Explore common messages from The Voice ~    Identify helpful responses to The Voice ~    Reflect upon why positive affirmations and prior interventions may not have worked. The Critical Inner Voice ~    It is the defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our ongoing development. ~    The voice consists of the negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that ~    Oppose our best interests ~    Diminish our self-esteem ~    Warns us about other people ~    Promotes angry and cynical attitudes ~    Creates a negative, pessimistic picture of the world The Voice cont… ~    It edits our thoughts, controls our behavior, and inhibits our actions. ~    It thinks it is protecting us from being hurt or feeling abandoned ~    It reinforces our feelings of shame and guilt and insufficiency. ~    When managed effectively, the barbs of your inner critic prevent complacency and boredom while nudging you to improve your life Common “Voices” in Yourself ~    You’re stupid. ~    You’re unattractive. ~    You’re not like other people. ~    You’re a failure. ~    You never get anything right. ~    No one will ever love you. ~    You’re fat. ~    You’re such a loser. ~    You’ll never make friends. ~    You’ll never accomplish anything. Common “Voices” in Your Career ~    You don’t know what you’re doing. ~    Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful. ~    You’re under too much pressure. You can’t take it. ~    You’ll never get everything done. You’re so lazy. ~    You should just put this off until tomorrow. ~    No one appreciates you. ~    You’d better be perfect, or you’ll get fired. ~    Nobody likes you here. ~    When are you ever going to get a real job? ~    No one would hire you. Common “Voices” in Relationships ~    You’re never going to find another person who understands you. ~    Don’t get too hooked on her. ~    He doesn’t really care about you. ~    She is too good for you. ~    You’re better off on your own. ~    As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you. ~    You’ve got to be in control. ~    It’s your fault if he gets upset. ~    Don’t be vulnerable or you’ll wind up getting hurt. Responses ~    So what? ~    Who says? ~    Who cares? ~    That doesn’t matter. ~    Prove it! ~    Positive affirmations only help when you actually believe the message. ~    Trying to substitute positive words for negative feelings can delay your self-discovery More Responses ~    Cognitive restructuring is only effective when you have no subconscious desire to hold onto a negative thought. ~    What is the motivation for holding on to a negative thought ~    Fear of failure, rejection, the unknown? ~    Replace negative thoughts with realistic ones. ~    I have to be the best//impress… ~    I will DO my best. Identifying Your Critical Inner Voice ~    Recognize the events that trigger your critical inner voice ~    Recognize the specific outside criticisms that support your critical inner voice ~    Become aware of times you may be projecting your self-attacks onto other people ~    Notice changes in your emotions, thoughts, sensations or urges Visualizing the Real You/Developing Self-Esteem ~    My positive qualities and Abilities

Crisis Intervention Promoting Resilience & Resolution Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs CE credits can be earned for this presentation at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/36/c/ Objectives ~    Resilience and Transcendence ~    Crisis Resolution: The Change Process ~    Making Contact: The Power of Connecting ~    Making Meaning: Transforming a Crisis Narrative ~    Managing Emotional Arousal ~    Envisioning Possibilities: Creative Coping ~    Crisis Intervention with families Resilience and Transcendence ~    Crisis is a point of threat and opportunity (-/+) ~    Six facets of crisis experience (BASICS) ~    Behavioral ~    Affective (Emotional) ~    Somatic ~    Interpersonal ~    Cognitive ~    Spiritual Crime victim  | Death of a Loved One  | Natural Disaster | Secondary Trauma by Media in Children Resilience and Transcendence ~    Validation of the experience is crucial (LUVE) ~    Listen ~    Understand ~    Validate ~    Explore client strengths Crisis Resolution: The Change Process ~    Chaos Theory ~    Chaotic systems are predictable for a while and then ‘appear' to become random. ~    Each point in a chaotic system is close to other points with significantly different future paths. An arbitrarily small change of the current path may lead to significantly different future behavior. Crisis Resolution: The Change Process ~    Complexity Theory ~    Emphasizes interactions and the accompanying feedback loops that constantly change systems. ~    Systems are unpredictable, they are also constrained by order-generating rules (Reward principle) ~    Individual behaviors and choices are more important than executive plans in an organization. ~    Focus on self-organization instead of management control. ~    Use small changes and interventions ~    Encourage conflict and change ~    This may seem to push the person to an unstable situation, but the person actually can gain improvements from the healthy edge of chaos (Comfort zone) The Change Process: 3 Principles ~    Large changes result from small changes ~     Change can begin suddenly and resolve rapidly (Microsoft Updates) ~    Change is a complete reordering.  Something new emerges and noting is ever the same Solution vs. Resolution ~    Solutions are largely outside yourself ~    Stronger security ~    Behavior alterations (Preparation/prevention) ~    Resolutions are internal events ~    Alteration in mood ~    Shift in thinking ~    Change of heart Crime victim  | Death of a Loved One  | Natural Disaster Making Contact: The Power of Connecting ~    Reconnecting ~    Social supports are a powerful buffer ~    Connecting to others is a fundamental human need ~    Humans are hardwired to help each other ~    Humans develop empathy even before verbal skills Making Contact: The Power of Connecting ~    Receiving support ~    Use reaching out questions ~    Provide encouragement ~    Acknowledge the crisis experience ~    Make positive observations ~    Be tentative rather than authoritative, owning your impressions ~    Highlight the survivor in crisis ~    Invite the person to talk (or not) about the experience Making Meaning: Transforming a Crisis ~    Crisis can shatter people’s assumptions about the world ~    Basic Assumptins ~    The world is benevolent ~    The world is meaningful and predictable ~    The self is worthy / Life is fair ~    As humans, we need to create

50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs CEs can be earned for this presentation at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/587/c/ Objectives ~    Understand what self esteem is, why it is important and how to develop it ~    Explore how physical sensations give clues to what is important and whether you are living in harmony with our values (Gut) ~    Identify and address thinking errors that keep you stuck (Head) ~    Evaluate how emotions and the heart contribute to the development of self-esteem (Heart) ~    Examine how the environment impacts your self-esteem The Nature of Self-Esteem ~    How you feel about yourself in contrast to who you think you “should” be ~    The more rejecting you are of yourself, the more ~    Distress you experience ~    You seek external validation ~    In order to develop healthy relationships you need to ~    Feel good about yourself ~    Get in touch with yourself and your true values ~    Choose actions in harmony with your true self The Gift of Mindfulness ~    Teaches people to live in the moment ~    Not stuck in guilt or resentment of the past ~    Not paralyzed by fear of the future ~    Putting one foot in front of the other ~    Cornerstone of mindfulness is acceptance ~    Nonjudgmental ~    Letting be ~    Patient ~    Mindfulness teaches that when you trust yourself and act with awareness and purpose you become more self reliant Note: The book will give you access to online, recorded versions of several meditations Impact of Mindlessness ~    Ignoring or invalidating how you feel ~    Failing to integrate feelings, thoughts, sensations and urges ~    Running on autopilot and not making time for the things that are important (getting us closer to our ideal selves) ~    Blindly adopting mainstream messages of who/what we should be ~    Not in harmony with who we really want to be ~    Not achievable or realistic Breathing and the Body ~    By developing mindfulness and self-awareness you can quiet your thoughts ~    The constant noise often prohibits from addressing the underlying issues of your emotional turmoil ~    Life becomes focused on treading water ~    Forward goals are exchanged for just surviving ~    By making contact with the present moment you can: ~    Find your strength ~    Learn to grow ~    Choose how you wish to respond Activities ~    A Deep Full Breath ~    Abdominal breathing signals the brain to slow down and relax. “Rest and digest” ~    Simply paying attention to your breath often causes it to slow down ~    Feel the loving touch (Your Breath) ~    Life begins and ends with breath ~    Breathing helps relax the body and move Qi ~    Add visual and auditory breathing reminders Activities cont… ~    In and Out ~    Inhale and take in positive affirmations ~    Exhale and let go of stress and negativity ~    Taken another step further, imagine inhaling cooling/calming blue air and exhaling stresses (red, black, gray) ~    Read the Inscription ~    Pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you (Lenny) ~    Practice noticing points of tension/tightness/heaviness and feel them relax or loosen as you exhale Thinking and the Mind ~    An Impartial Witness (Fly on the wall) ~    Stop Sorting (into good and bad) ~    See the Whole Elephant ~    The issue ~    The strengths ~    Spin the Wheel of Paradox ~    Work ~    Traffic ~    No Blame Emotions and the Heart ~

Self-Esteem Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs CEs can be earned for this presentation at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/587/c/ Objectives ~    The Nature of Self-Esteem ~    Identifying and Disarming the Critic ~    Creating an Accurate Self Assessment ~    Identifying Cognitive Distortions ~    Developing Compassion ~    Shaking the Shoulds ~    Handling Mistakes ~    Responding to Criticism ~    Goal Setting ~    Core Beliefs ~    Building Self Esteem in Children The Nature of Self-Esteem ~    How you feel about yourself in contrast to who you think you “should” be ~    The more rejecting we are of ourselves, the more ~    Distress we experience ~    We seek external validation ~    In order to develop healthy relationships people need to feel good about themselves The Pathological Critic ~    Arsenal of shoulds ~    Origin of the Critic: Conditions of Worth ~    Why you listen to the critic ~    The role of reinforcement ~    Catching your critic ~    Unmasking his purpose ~    Talking back Accurate Self-Assessment ~    Self-Concept inventory ~    Listing your strengths and weaknesses ~    Developing a new self-description ~    Celebrating your strengths Cognitive Distortions ~    The distortions ~    Combating the distortions Compassion ~    Compassion defined ~    Creating a compassionate world ~    The problem of worth ~    Developing compassion for others The Shoulds ~    How values are formed ~    The tyranny of should ~    Healthy vs. Unhealthy values ~    How should affects your self esteem ~    Challenging and revising your shoulds ~    Atonement—When shoulds make sense Handling Mistakes ~    Reframing mistakes ~    The problem of awareness ~    Raising your mistake consciousness Responding to Criticism ~    The myth of reality ~    Responding to criticism ~    Putting it all together Asking for What You Want ~    Legitimate needs ~    Needs vs. wants ~    Wants inventory ~    Wants into words ~    Whole messages Goal Setting and Planning ~    What do you want ~    Selecting goals ~    Making your goals SMART ~    Making a commitment ~    Blocks to achieving goals Core Beliefs ~    Identifying Core Beliefs ~    Developing new core beliefs Building Self-Esteem in Children ~    The power of parents ~    Parents as mirrors ~    Look at your child ~    Listening ~    The language of self-esteem ~    Discipline ~    Autonomy ~    Modeling self-esteem Summary ~    Self esteem begins in childhood ~    It is imperative to help people separate strengths and weaknesses from who they are ~    Self loathing and rejection contributes to dysphoria ~    Part of self esteem development includes ~    Values identification ~    Understanding wants vs. needs ~    Addressing cognitive distortions

101 Mindfulness Exercises for Children and Adolescents Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Continuing Education (CE) credits for addiction and mental health counselors, social workers and marriage and family therapists can be earned for this presentation at  https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/586/c/ Objectives ~    Core Mindfulness ~    Walking the Middle Path ~    Distress Tolerance ~    Emotion Regulation ~    Interpersonal Effectiveness ~    Mindfulness Exercises ~    DBT Games and Activities Core Mindfulness ~    Three States of Mind ~    Reasonable: School Brain, scientist, robot ~    Emotional: What your heart says ~    Wise: The logical choice that makes you as happy as possible ~    Example: Animal rescue ~    Example: Extracurricular activities Core Mindfulness ~    Wise Mind What Skills ~    Observe: Be a detective.  Take in the whole situation. ~    Describe: Name your experiences ~    Participate: Be actively involved in the moment ~    Practice observing, describing and participating ~    Discuss things that would stay in the way of observing, describing, participating Core Mindfulness ~    Wise Mind How Skills ~    Nonjudgmental: Observable, measurable ~    One mind: Focus on the task at hand. Clear your mind of everything else ~    Do what works Walking the Middle Path ~    Balancing the ideas of acceptance and change ~    Incorporates ~    Dialectics ~    Both/And ~    Recognizing change is the only constant ~    Validation ~    Active listening ~    Tolerating others ~    Tolerating self ~    Behaviorism ~    Reinforcement ~    Shaping ~    Extinction of maladaptive behaviors Walking the Middle Path ~    Open your eyes to seeing things from different angles ~    Change is constant.  If it is stressful now; change will happen ~    Find both sides of the spectrum and use a both/and approach ~    Validate Self: Acknowledging what you feel nonjudgmentally ~    Validate Others Distress Tolerance ~    Activities ~    Contributing ~    Comparison ~    Emotions (the opposite) ~    Push the experience from your mind ~    Think about alternate things ~    Sensations (intense) Distress Tolerance ~    Self-soothe with the 5 senses ~    Pros and Cons ~    Long term goals ~    Decisional balance Distress Tolerance ~    Imagery of a relaxing place ~    Meaning ~    Survived similar situations ~    What is important in your life (in comparison, how important is this) ~    Prayer ~    Relaxation ~    One thing in the moment ~    Vacation (mental or physical) ~    Encouragement Helpful statements about self and others Distress Tolerance ~    Radical Acceptance ~    Life can be tough.  It isn’t fair ~    Some things can’t be changed ~    You don’t have to like it ~    Identify ~    Things you can change ~    Things you cannot change Emotion Regulation ~    Identify and label primary and secondary emotions ~    Strength ~    Sleep ~    Take care of self ~    Resist unhelpful behaviors/impulsivity ~    Exercise ~    Nutrition ~    Gain mastery ~    Take time for yourself (relaxation/pleasant activities) ~    Healthy self-talk Interpersonal Effectiveness ~    Cheerleading statements ~    Dear Man ~    Describe objectively ~    Express your feelings ~    Assert your wants and needs ~    Reinforce by creating a win/win

DBT Made Simple Facilitator: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes CEs for this presentation can be earned at:  https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/518/c/ Objectives ~    The Basics of DBT ~    The B in DBT: What You Need to Know About Behavior ~    Mindfulness ~    Reducing Emotional Reactivity ~    Distress Tolerance Skills ~    What Clients Need to Know About Emotions ~    Regulating Painful ~    Increasing Positive ~    Helping Clients Become More Effective In Relationships The Clients ~    Emotional Vulnerability ~    React to things others wouldn’t react to ~    Reaction is more intense than others ~    Recovery time is longer than for others ~    Inability to Regulate Emotion ~    Difficulty identifying/labeling emotions ~    Difficulty understanding why they feel that way ~    Difficulty expressing the emotion in an effective way Dialectical Theory ~    Everything is interconnected (Action/reaction) ~    Examine examples of action/reaction ~    Addiction ~    Anger ~    Depression ~    Social Interactions ~    Reality is in a constant process of change ~    How you perceive something now may be different than how you perceive it in an hour? ~    What changes perceptions? ~    What does the emotional mind say? The reasonable mind? The wise mind? Dialectical Theory ~    The truth (always evolving) can be found by integrating multiple perspectives, and tolerating that two opposite things may co-exist ~    Simultaneous (understanding things differently by taking multiple people’s perspectives of the same event) ~    Example: Crime scene ~    Example: Interpersonal disagreement ~    Longitudinal (understanding things differently as knowledge is gained) ~    Example:  Mommy had no use for us and that is why she left. ~    Example: Mommy loves me, but she beats me, so I must be bad. Skills Training Groups ~    Core Mindfulness ~    Increase self-awareness of thoughts, feelings and urges ~    Develop an understanding of emotions as things that do not have to be acted upon ~    Interpersonal Effectiveness ~    Develop assertiveness skills ~    Identify the goals of relationships and skills/activities needed to achieve those goals Skills Training Groups ~    Emotion Regulation Skills ~    Label and effectively communicate feeling states ~    Understand the function of emotions and why we don’t want to eliminate them ~    Learn the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviors and how to break the chain ~    Distress Tolerance Skills ~    Survival skills/alternatives to self-harm DBT Assumptions ~    Clients are doing their best ~    They want to get better ~    They need to work harder/smarter and be more motivated ~    Even if clients didn’t create their problems, they have to fix them ~    Clients need to learn to act skillfully in EVERY area of their lives ~    Clients cannot fail in therapy Treatment Priorities in DBT ~    Suicidal or self-harming behaviors ~    Behaviors that interfere with therapy (including clinician) ~    Suicidal or self-harm ideation and misery ~    Maintaining treatment gains ~    Other goals identified by the client Mindfulness Emotion Regulation Interpersonal Effectiveness Distress Tolerance Stages of Treatment ~    Stage 1: Attaining Basic Capacities ~    Identify behaviors that pose a direct threat to the clients (or other’s) safety ~    Monitor the frequency, intensity of behaviors using a Behavior Tracking Form ~    Address ~    Suicidal/self-harming beh

Bullying Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs Continuing Education credits for this podcast can be earned at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/585/c/ Objectives ~    Define bullying ~    Explore the types of bullying ~    Identify characteristics of bullies ~    Identify motivations for bullying ~    Identify effects of bullying ~    Explore interventions to ~    Stop Bullying ~    Help bullying victims What is Bullying ~    A pattern of aggressive behavior involving unwanted negative actions which involves an imbalance of strength or power (physical, social) How Big of A Problem Is It ~    Prevalence ~    More than half of adolescents have been bullied online and about the same number have engaged in bullying ~    Only 1 in 10 tells a parent they have been a victim ~    Bullycide ~    According to the Yale School of Medicine, adolescent suicide rates have increased more than 50% in the last 30 years. ~    19,000 victims of bullying will attempt suicide each year (1 every 30 minutes) according to the American Psychiatric Association Types of Bullying ~    Verbal ~    Degrading or demeaning to give the aggressor power ~    Physical ~    Pushing, shoving, hitting ~    Stealing ~    Sexual assault ~    Relational ~    When behaviors are used as a means of achieving a goal ~    In reaction/retaliation to provocation Types of Bullying ~    Cyberbullying ~    The use of the internet and related technologies (i.e. Iphones, Snapchat, Instagram etc…) to harm other people in a deliberate and repeated manner. ~    Is inescapable ~    Forms ~    Harrassment ~    Impersonation ~    Use of Photographs ~    Creating websites and blogs ~    Participating in “happy slapping” Characteristics of Bullies ~    Lower parental supervision  (More permissive) ~    Drug and alcohol use ~    Family conflict ~    Parents, coaches who show power and aggression by yelling, hitting ~    Siblings or friends who bully the child ~    Trouble standing up to peer pressure ~    Relate to others negatively Characteristics of Bullies ~    Desire for power and control ~    Lack of empathy ~    Strong needs for power and dominance ~    Often rewarded in some wat for their behavior (material, social or psychological) Motivations for Bullying ~    Power & Control ~    “Respect” (Intimidation) ~    Revenge ~    Social and material rewards ~    Questions ~    Where does the need for power and control come from? ~    What are the long and short term benefits of bullying and how can they be reduced? ~    What other ways can be provided for youth to achieve the same benefits in a prosocial manner? Characteristics of Victims & Interventions ~    Overweight, underweight, not physically attractive ~    New students. ~    Assign them a mentor ~    Being different or not considered “cool.” ~    Emphasize and reward student strengths beginning in elementary school. ~    Perceived as weak or unable to defend themselves ~    Pay particular attention to students who are bully-prone Characteristics of Victims & Interventions ~    Depressed, anxious ~    Teach age-appropriate coping skills ~    Educate about depression and fear/anxiety ~    Low self-esteem ~    Increase self-esteem ~    Reduce need for external validation ~    Unpopular or do not socialize well with others ~    Teach social skills ~    Teach communication skills Effects of Bullying ~    Unwi

Emotional Eating Making Peace with Food Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs A CE course for this presentation can be purchased at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/584/c/ Objectives ~    Define emotional eating ~    Explore emotional eating in terms of its beneficial functions and rewards ~    Discuss why restrictive diets do not resolve emotional eating What is Emotional Eating ~    Eating in response to emotions and feelings other than hunger. ~    Eating AT someone (You made me do this) ~    Eating to forget/distract ~    Eating to feel better (release serotonin and dopamine) ~    Eating out of boredom ~    Eating out of habit ~    Not all emotional eaters have an eating disorder ~    You do not have to “binge” to be an emotional eater Why is Eating So Soothing ~    Eating as an infant often involved closeness and parental attention (oxytocin) ~    Caregiver generally happy during feeding ~    Food may be associated with sleep (night time bottle) ~    Eating as a toddler ~    Exploration and mastery ~    Power and control ~    Formation of memories around foods ~    Unhealthy foods usually reserved for treats or rewards Soothing cont… ~    Culturally we associate eating with caring and celebration ~    Low blood sugar an cause feelings of depression/anxiety which are quelled by food ~    Evolution predisposes the human body to crave high-sugar, high-fat, high-calorie foods for quick energy and to prepare for famine What is Behind the Craving ~    First rule out physical causes ~    Low blood sugar (anxiety, irritability, fatigue) ~    Lack of sleep (sugar and stimulants) ~    Dehydration ~    Nutritional Causes ~    High carbohydrate/starchy foods: Serotonin, endorphins ~    Chocolate: Magnesium, serotonin ~    Fatty foods: Omega-3 ~    Soda: Calcium What’s behind… ~    Then rule out habits ~    Is there a particular time or activity that makes you crave this food? ~    Are there particular times you mindLESSly eat? ~    Driving ~    Television ~    Are you going too long between meals then needing a sugar boost (which leads to a sugar crash…) Emotional Eating Interventions ~    Mindful eating ~    Food diary ~    When eating… ~    Use a plate ~    Sit ~    Eliminate distractions ~    Focus on the food EE Interventions cont… ~    Try to avoid setting up a binge by ~    Restricting certain foods ~    Buying a bunch of “comfort foods” ~    Going too long without eating ~    Initially distract (bath, walk, call a friend, facebook…) ~    Identify the emotions ~    If it is depression: Hopeless, helpless ~    If it is stress/anxiety/anger: Failure, Rejection, Loss of control, the unknown General Coping ~    Develop alternate ways of coping with distress ~    Distract ~    Talk it out ~    Journal ~    Make a pro and con list ~    Focus on the positive ~    View failures as learning opportunities ~    Identify whether it is worth your energy General Coping ~    Develop alternate ways of coping with distress ~    ABCs: A= _____  C= Emotional Reaction ~    Eliminate vulnerabilities ~    Be compassionate with yourself ~    Urge surf ~    Other tools ~    Close the kitchen ~    Brush your teeth ~    Meditate ACT for Emotional Eating ~    What am I feeling/thinking ~    What is important to me ~    Will emotional eating get me closer to or further away from what is important to me ~    Wh

Relapse Prevention During the Holidays Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs A counseling continuing education course on this topic can be purchased at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/348/c/ Objectives ~Define Relapse ~Identify exacerbating and mitigating factors for relapse ~Explore unique relapse triggers and traps during the holidays What is Relapse ~Relapse is the recurrence of symptoms ~Emotional ~Cognitive ~Behavioral ~Relapse warning signs are when the person starts down that path Relapse Warning Signs ~Living mindLESSly ~Overcommitting ~To avoid feelings ~To get approval / not disappoint ~Sleeping too much or too little ~Eating too much or too little ~Failing to relax and include pleasurable activities ~Getting stressed over things you cannot control ~Withdrawing from positive social support Unique Triggers Around Holidays ~Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years ~Family and social gatherings ~Loneliness ~Abundant food and drink ~Lots of additional time demands ~What do I have to be thankful for?!?! ~Beaver Cleaver Christmas ~Reminders of losses ~Financial stresses ~Another year SSDD Unique Triggers Around Holidays ~Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years ~Family and social gatherings ~If you have to be there, figure out how to cope with the people you don’t want to be around ~Positive mantras ~Don’t give them your power and reward them by feeding in ~Rehears coping strategies and refusal skills ~Identify 2 or 3 people you want to shadow ~If it is an unsafe situation ~Rehearse how to politely decline an invitation ~Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind (Dr. Seuss ~Identify a legitimate reason you cannot go Unique Triggers Around Holidays ~Loneliness ~Invitations always ask for a +1 ~People are shopping for everyone else ~Shop for the less fortunate ~People are going to family gatherings ~Find other people without a place to go and invite them over* ~Go hiking ~Commune with your higher power ~Skype/Facetime Unique Triggers Around Holidays ~Abundant Food and Drink ~Don’t go famished ~Stay as far away from the buffet table as you can ~Eat mindfully if you have to eat ~Avoid eating out of stress ~Choose lower calorie options ~Get very small helpings ~Bring a lower calorie dish to potlucks ~Actively sip on water or low calorie drinks ~Have a battle buddy ~Play the tape through ~Cook at your own house (and send the leftovers away) Unique Triggers Around Holidays ~Time Demands ~Time management is a priority ~What can you let go to make time for the seasonal demands ~You don’t have to stay for hours ~What Do I have to Be Thankful For? ~Volunteer at a soup kitchen or habitat for humanity ~Hand out blankets to the homeless ~Go to a meeting/ 12-step celebration ~Review your gratitude journal ~Visit the sick* Unique Triggers ~Beaver Cleaver Christmas ~What is it about it that you envy? ~How can you meet those wants? ~Avoid holiday specials that will get you upset ~Reminders of losses ~Even years after a death, holidays can remind you of someone.  How can you celebrate them? ~Try to focus on what you have and where you want to go Unique Triggers ~Financial stresses ~Identify free activities ~Make something for someone (crafts, pictures, picture books, slideshows, humor book, digital scrapbook) ~Explore why material posses

Grief Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes Executive Director, AllCEUs A Counseling CEU course for this presentation can be purchased at: https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/582/c/ Objectives ~    Define grief ~    Conceptualize grief in terms of any loss ~    Identify how failure to deal with grief can impact a person ~    Explore the stages of grief What is Grief ~    Grief is a label assigned to all of the emotions associated with dealing with any kind of loss ~    Physical (Things, abilities, freedoms) ~    Self-concept (Roles, values, labels) ~    Worldview (Innocence, safety) ~    Dreams (How things should be) ~    Social (Loss of relationships…) Stages of Grief ~    Denial: Numbness, dream, alternate explanations) ~    Anger: The unknown, loss of control, death, isolation, failure—(shouldas and couldas) ~    Bargaining: If I … then I will wake up and realize this was only a really bad dream ~    Depression: Helpless, hopeless ~    Acceptance: Radical acceptance that the loss occurred and determining how to proceed from there Exacerbating & Mitigating factors ~    How people react in a crisis depends upon 6 factors ~    How close the situation was to them (physical and emotional proximity) ~    How many other stressors them experienced in the last year ~    Mental health issues/Effective coping skills ~    Social supports ~    Understanding of the loss ~    How much control/responsibility they feel like they had in the situation Impact of Unresolved Grief ~    Most people get stuck in either anger or depression ~    Anger (shoulda, couldas and if onlys) ~    At self ~    At others ~    At higher power ~    Depression (Hopelessness, Helplessness—I don’t now how to go on) ~    At self ~    At others ~    At higher power Denial ~    Denial is the mind’s way of protecting people from what lies ahead. ~    Action strategies ~    Facing the loss Anger ~    Anger is the power play ~    Push people away to avoid getting hurt again ~    Blame others as an outlet for helplessness—somebody somewhere could have prevented this ~    Blame self to try to regain some control/prevent it from happening again, make themselves suffer ~    Question belief system and world schema Anger ~    Action steps ~    Identifying what the loss means to the person (Ex. Job, Parent, Victimization) ~    Angry (other losses) ~    Scared (which fears and why?) ~    Depressed (I feel helpless to… ; I feel hopeless to…) ~    Validation ~    Examination of the stated beliefs for ~    All or nothing thinking ~    Emotional reasoning ~    Fallacy of fairness ~    Emotional Reasoning Bargaining ~    If I do x, y and z, maybe I can wake up and it will have been a nightmare ~    Contributes to depression because the person wakes up everyday hoping the reality is different ~    Hope is squelched every morning ~    Action Steps ~    Help clients stay in the present reality ~    Point out how bargaining just creates more exhaustion and frustration Depression ~    Hopelessness and helplessness ~    Reality that the loss occurred AND it cannot be changed ~    Action Steps ~    Identify what cannot be changed ~    Identify what can be changed henceforth ~    Parent ~    Job ~    Victimization Acceptance ~    Accepting the reality of the loss ~    Action steps ~    Explore how life will be different (and the same) since the loss ~    Make a plan to change the things you can