The Recovery Show » Finding serenity through 12 step recovery in Al-Anon – a podcast

Do you fear that being vulnerable with your loved ones will be perceived as a sign of weakness? Do you tend to avoid discussing your own feelings? Do you try to cover up your flaws? Do you often take other people's inventory? Brené Brown says “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage”. What do you think about this? Do you gain trust when someone else is vulnerable? Stick with us as we talk about vulnerability. What is vulnerability? How do you feel about being vulnerable? What is your fear around it? How is this different from how you felt about vulnerability before the program? Do you think being vulnerable is good? Why? Does others’ vulnerability increase your trust in them? Do you find that others trust you more when you exhibit vulnerability? How do you exhibit vulnerability in your day to day life? How has recovery helped you to be more vulnerable? Google Voice mail from Christina (9/10) When you are vulnerable today, do you just never get hurt? How do you handle pain and disappointment while remaining vulnerable? How do you know when you’re avoiding vulnerability? Should you always be vulnerable or only around certain people or in certain situations? Why or why not?

Join us as we discuss the power and potential of Step 9, which states "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha share their experience, strength, and hope with Step 9, guided and inspired by questions such as these: Have you worked Step 9 yet? If so, give a brief explanation of your experience. What are the different types of amends you are aware of (living, direct, etc). Which have you practiced? Can you describe an example of each? If you have made direct amends, how did you do it? Where? When? What did you say? What did you not say? How do you know which type of amends to give to each person on your Step 8 list? [Spencer: “... direct amends … wherever possible” seems pretty clear] What is a self-amends? Did you make an amends to yourself? If so, how? Why is making an amends to yourself important? Did you make an amends to your Higher Power? Why? How do you know when you’re ready to give amends to someone? What happens if you have someone on your list that you just don’t feel ready to make an amend to? Can you move on to Step 10 or do you have to “complete” Step 9 first? How has making amends changed your life? What is the difference between an amend and an apology?

Do you find yourself often running low on sleep? Do you miss meals because you’re too busy? Do you ever neglect your own basic needs in order to take care of someone else? Well, then this is the episode for you because today’s topic is “Self Care”! Kelli, Spencer and special guest host Jonah talk about their experience, strength and hope, as prompted by questions such as these: What is self care? Does it only mean eating enough and sleeping enough? Why is self care important? What did self care mean to you before the program? How did that affect the way you interacted with others? What does self care mean to you now? How has that affected your relationships? Now that you’re in program and working on self care, does that mean your self care always comes first no matter what the needs of the other person are? Has your definition of self care changed as time has passed?

A roundtable episode with siblings of alcoholics and addicts. Jane and Rick share their experience growing up with alcoholic brothers.

Do you sometimes feel that you’re trying to keep too many balls in the air at once? Do you hear people talk about a balanced life and wonder what they mean? Do you struggle with too much to do and not enough time to do it all? Then this episode is for you, as Spencer, Kelli, and Swetha talk about juggling vs balance.

Do you often judge yourself? Do you internalize the criticism of others? Are you afraid they are right? Are you unable to like yourself? Then listen as Swetha, Spencer, and special guest host Erika talk about self acceptance and self esteem.

If you are struggling with guilt and resentment over your actions in the past… If you aren’t ready to make amends to someone… If you think that you deserve an amends before you make one… You’ve come to the right place. Keep listening as we discuss STEP 8. Kelli, Spencer, and Swetha share our own experiences with Step 8, as we try to address these questions and others: How do you decide if you have “harmed” someone? (what was the act? why did we do it? What were the consequences?) Have you made a list? How did you go about it? (use your 4th step?) How do you “become willing” to make amends? What if there are people you are not willing to make amends to? Can you be willing to become willing? What about people who owe you amends? Did you make it onto your list? Why is it important to include yourself? What is the difference between willingness and actually making the amends? What part does honesty play in this process? Did you review your list with anyone before planning amends? Did they make any suggestions to you? What did/ could you learn from them? Does your HP get included in this step?

Do you find yourself spending too much time worrying? Do you fear the future or resent the past? How can you live “One Day at a Time”? How do we understand this slogan as a tool for caring for ourselves? What does “one day at a time” mean? We find that it has several faces. It can mean living in the moment, not missing, and enjoying what is happening now. It can mean putting aside worrying about tomorrow and resenting yesterday. We can also use it when we are in a difficult situation, reminding ourselves that we can make it through today, or this hour, or maybe this minute, even if we cannot envision living with it “forever.”

Having trouble finding compassion for the alcoholics and addicts in your life? For yourself? How has compassion worked in our recovery? Listen as Swetha, Kelli, and Spencer share our understanding and experience.

If you just want to do recovery all by yourself… If having a sponsor sounds frightening… If you’d like to have a sponsor, but you don’t know how to get one… Then keep listening as hosts Mark, of Recovered, and Kelli, of The Recovery Show, lead a joint round table about sponsorship. In this conversation with Mark and Kelli are Jason, Russ, Spencer, and Swetha. Our round table was sparked by a voice mail from Bronte in Australia. She leads us into questions such as: What is Sponsorship? Why is it important? What to look for? What to watch out for? How do you develop trust? How do you get a sponsor? Joe, from California, asks about changing sponsors. He wonders about questions like: Does changing sponsors mean giving up on the program? Is changing sponsors a bad thing? What might be a bad reason for changing a sponsor? May a newcomer change sponsors? We also hear from Liz, in Florida, who recently changed her sponsor, raising these questions: How do you know when to change sponsors? What if you are not clicking with your sponsor? How do you break up with a sponsor? During our discussion, we talk about our experiences being sponsored and sponsoring others in our fellowships. We address questions like these: How does sponsorship help the sponsor? Can any member be a sponsor? How do you get a sponsee? When is a member ready for sponsorship responsibility? What does a sponsor do and not do? What if you are asked for advice? Is there any one best way of sponsoring a newcomer? Is it possible to get too attached to a sponsee? This is also episode 426 of Recovered.

What is humility? How do we ask God to remove our shortcomings? Are they really defects? Listen as Spencer, Swetha, and Kelli, back together at last, talk about Step 7, Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

How do you use your program in the workplace? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries at work? Do you find yourself staying late even though it affects your self-care? Can you deal effectively with your difficult co-workers? Swetha, Kelli, and Mary share their experiences with these questions and others.

Today, we’re going to talk about progress, not perfection. Ever feel like no matter how much you try, you fall short? Ever just want to give up because perfection just seems too hard to achieve, so why bother? Ever feel like the strides you do take forward just aren’t good enough? Join Kelli, Swetha, and special guest Wendy for this journey.

Step 6 says “[We] were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” What are “defects of character.” What does “entirely ready” mean? How do we become entirely ready? What if we like some of our defects? How can we become ready to have them removed? Spencer, Kelli, and special guest host Melissa talk about these questions and others, sharing our experience, strength, and hope on the topic of Step 6.

Our 12th Tradition says “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions…” Why is anonymity important? What does it mean to be anonymous? Does it mean that we actively hide our identity? Is it about only sharing our first name (and initial?) Or is there something deeper here? What can we share about ourselves? What can we share about other people in our lives? And especially, what can we share about the alcoholics and addicts whose behavior has so deeply affected our lives?