Date Smarter, Not Harder!

He says he will be supportive, loving and a good man. But how will a man SHOW his potential wife those traits with behavior? What are a woman's expectations about a man's behavior towards her, lifestyle, goals, and accomplishments in life prove he has husband potential? What is it that he needs to do ladies to prove to you that he is indeed the man that he says he is, and will be the husband for you that he imagines in his mind?

In January we addressed the things women do that drive men away, now it's the ladies' turn! What are the top things men do that run women away from relationships, love, and commitment saying "hell nawww, I'm outta here!" Whether you are female dating men that have run you off, or a man that did some of these dastardly deeds women complain of, we want to hear from you. If you have been put into the friend zone or your romance never got off the ground, you may learn why tonight. We'll be discussing traits and behaviors highest on women's lists that make them run in the opposite direction from the men in their lives. Listen over your computer by logging onto Date Smarter, Not Harder Talk Show, or participate in the live discussion by calling 347-327-9215.

Women often profess to being terrified of being alone. Some women, enter into relationships that are painful, cold or abusive even after a little voice in their head says "this guy is bad news!" Why do women and even some men have such a hard time establishing and maintaining boundaries with regards to who they allow into their lives and beds? Karol Ward, LCSW guests tonight and discusses her book "Find Your Inner Voice." This book will teach you how to make decisions about love, relationships, health and spirituality by using your body as a natural compass. When you learn to trust your instincts and recognize your intuitive voice, you can use them both to make more positive life choices. Karol's articles and expertise have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Experience Life Magazine, CosmoGirl, IDEA Fitness Journal, and Best Body Magazine. Join us! The call-in number is 347-327-9215.

Men are socialized to be in command, to rule and win, but what is it about men that makes them feel the need to control women? Controlling behaviors come in many forms - from outright domination, violence, and oppression to more subtle forms like the way he speaks to women or his attempts to manipulate through name-calling or judgments that prey on women's insecurities. What might such male socialization do to the psyches, hearts and dreams of women? Most women are unaware of the socialization they've been raised under and never question their beliefs about what women should do, be, or say as it regards interactions with males. Our guests tonight bring to light many attitudes and behaviors that rob Black women of their joy and power. Tolu is the author of the eye opening review of world culture and its damaging effects on female children and adults entitled "Why and How Women Are Exploited By Men Worldwide. Hasani Pettiford is an award-winning speaker and author of Why We Hate Black Women, which investigates the stigma of what it means to be black and female in America. This show is guaranteed to provide one of the hottest discussions on Black male/female relationships on BlogTalkRadio. You don't want to miss it! Call in at 347-327-9215.

We've entered new year, and along with that will come new romantic relationships. However for many couples, the painful issues from the past (betrayal, cheating, rejection and abandonment) will impact their ability to trust and open up their heart to love. What can we do to provide new partners with the open communication, trust and clean slate they deserve? Marty Babits, an experienced psychotherapist, has worked with hundreds of families and couples over the past 25 years will be our guest. Mr. Babits supervises family and couples therapists at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in NYC and is a Board Certified Diplomate in advanced clinical social work. His book The Power of the Middle Ground is an easy to read self–help book that gives clear guidelines and suggestions for improving communication and developing love and intimacy. It features communication tips that are useful for both singles and couples. Please join us to discuss the issues that undermine many potentially successful relationships. The call-in number is 347-327-9215.

This show is for women only! Ladies, when a man doesn't want you long-term and that attitude is quite obvious, why don't you accept it and immediately move on to find real Romance? What are the signs that a man is more into his male buddies and Bromance than he is women? Why don't women demand more from men, instead accepting whatever they can get from him while waiting around, hoping he will change and finally give her what she wants? Ladies, when you are trading your body and heart for a few crumbs of male attention, I call that Homance! Let's talk about it. Call in at 347-327-9215.

We continue our discussion from Wednesday night (January 20, 2010) and delve deeper into the issue of higher education, earning power, female professional and career success, and the impact a college education may have on who an educated Black woman views as a viable potential mate. The discussion on Wednesday night's show demonstrated that some Black men assume that a degreed person doesn't have much to offer in the way of positive character traits-just a degree. Is this a sly way of putting down those feel obtaining a college education is important? Can't a woman have character, beauty AND education? Are these judgments just another way to put down Black women with standards who are consistently condemned for being "too picky" and to "have ridiculously high standards" by Black men? Please join us for this specially scheduled PART TWO broadcast by logging in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat, or by calling 347-327-9215.

For several months we've discussed the desire that single, educated, accomplished women of all races have with regards to a mate with a similar level of education, financial acumen, and emotional availability. These standards have been consistently been ridiculed by Black men all over BlogTalkRadio! Enough already! Tonight I'll be asking some hard questions: Why do so many Black men feel that a woman seeking an established mate, or a man with a college degree, or a mate with no stray children, or a man that has never been married or locked up in prison, and that has himself together is wrong? Why are Black women with standards consistently condemned for being "too picky" by Black men? It would seem that many Black men believe Black women have no right to demand to have a man on her level educationally, emotionally, socially or economically, nor the right to reject any man as a date or potential long-term partner for not meeting her standards. We'll be discussing this and other conflicts concerning standards of behavior, achievement and expectations Black women have of the men they want to love and marry tonight. Please join us by logging in at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat, or by calling 347-327-9215.

What is behind the conflict between Black men and Black women? Most of it would seem to be a major difference in foundational principles and beliefs about what makes a man, what makes a woman, and what makes a relationship "work." Many Black men believe a woman should submit... but what is she submitting to? How do Black men view roles in relationships? Why do so many Black men choose to shoot down the messenger because they don't like the message - resorting to name calling, blaming and denigrating females? What impact do the masks we wear have on our ability to really appreciate each other's strengths, and see each other for who and what we are? And finally, when a Black man insists a woman accede her power so he can feel like a man, what is he really seeking? The impact of Christianity on the Black man, and discussion of submission, relationships, dating and love. Guests tonight are Michael D. Teague whose journey to manhood has been a combination of successes, failures, joys and sorrows. He utilizes his experiences to assist men in their own journey; his book "Rise and Walk! Seven Steps to Purposeful Living" is an inspirational, self-help book for men. Also joining me tonight is my oldest brother Clinton, a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Why do so many men insist they need MAGNUM size when in reality they need the "muy pequeño" sized one. Size DOES matter chump, and it matters even more that you know what to do with what you got. We will also talk about the erroneous belief that women can get intimacy any time from any man, and other untruths and fabulous fables told during dating.

Since the 1960s Women's Liberation movement, women have become increasingly educated, powerful, and independent of men. Tonight we look at how men feel about a "strong" woman; the possible long-term impact of a woman being raised to be independent of men, and why so many men seem confused about the roles of men and women in 2010. Is there a societal backlash against women due to their independence and the demands now being placed on men to change? Have men and the concept of commitment and marriage kept up with the changes in women? What role does the modern man play in women's lives and in relationships? Our guest tonight is Michelle McKinney Hammond, author of "Ending The Search for Mr. Right" and "The Sassy Girl's Checklist for Living, Loving & Overcoming." Sharing solid, effective principles that will help her audience to navigate through the journey of life and reach the ultimate destination of living and loving to their fullest potential. us! The call-in number is 347-327-9215.

What is it that men are looking for in a wife in 2010? Does what a man seeks in a wife change with age and maturity and different for men in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond? Seems lots of men seem to hold onto the fantasy image of a wife that wears hot lingerie, always smells fresh, never says NO!, cooks, cleans and submissively anticipates and caters to his every need. Are these expectations of "a wife" realistic? Christine Pembleton, the author of Lord, I'm Ready to Be a Wife: The Complete Guide to Moving from Single to Married God's Way chats with Ms. HeartBeat about this issue. If you want to get married ladies, you must ask yourself is it for the right reasons? Christine's book addresses the reasons why women should get married, and how to attain a marriage mindset to prepare yourself to be a wife. The show call-in number is 347-327-9215... join us! You might also want to check out a recent broadcast which asks the question Why Bother Getting Married.

What would you say are the top things single women do that drive men away from dates, relationships, love and from commitment? Whether you are male dating women that have driven you away, or a female that did some of these dastardly deeds, we want to hear from you. We'll be discussing traits and behaviors highest on men's lists that make them run in the opposite direction as they say "awww hell nawww, I'm outta here!" Dr. Catherine Cardinal, author of MEN TO RUN FROM So You Can Find the Right One to Run To, guests. Visit her site at Men To Run From

Ms. HeartBeat (Deborrah Cooper) welcomes your participation in the last show of the year 2009. As we prepare to move into 2010, many of you will be leaving old loves and relationships behind. What are your plans for next year? If you ended up disgusted with the way you were treated, fed up with men (or women), and frustrated about how your last relationship ultimately turned out, this is a great show for you! We'll focus on how you can seek something different and hopefully much better for 2010. In the meantime, ask yourself what behaviors do you now recognize as self-defeating? How are you going to change? What traits and behaviors are you planning to seek in a mate in your future relationships? What is on your checklist of things to do differently as it concerns your love life in 2010? To participate in the lively discussion, call 347-327-9215.

Back in the 1950s, a man staked a claim on a woman and they were then "going steady." A woman knew what was going on, and her relationship was recognized as official. But people have told me flatly to get over it... that no one ASKS a woman to be his girlfriend anymore... that such things took place "in the olden days." Isn't that confusing though? I mean...a woman thinks that if you hang out more than 3 times, she's dating you and is your girlfriend. A guy may not be on that page and will often end up saying to a brokenhearted woman: "umm, no you ain't -- we are not a couple!" At what point is exclusivity discussed and expected? When is it appropriate to "stake a claim" on someone and make your relationship an official boyfriend/girlfriend situation? Call into 347-327-9215.