Date Smarter, Not Harder!

We continue our investigation of the issue of gang rape and rape culture with a panel of experts on violent crimes against women. We'll examine the mentality of males that would willingly participate in such a vicious crime, as well as reasons why males are recording these events on video, laughing about the rape, and refusing to intervene on behalf of the victim. Is this truly what our society has become? Where do we go from here? Joining me tonight is psychotherapist, author and relationships expert Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball (doctorjoyce.com); Carole Bartholomeaux, one of the founders of the Center Against Sexual Assault, the first rape crisis organization in Phoenix; Melody Brooke, MA, LPC, LMFT, a therapist with extensive experience with trauma survivors (ohwowthischangeseverything.com); Detective Kurt Scanio is a 6 year veteran with the Mesa Police Department who now works with the Mesa Police Assn and as a domestic violence and assault detective, hand in hand with victim services throughout the area; The Rockstar of Seduction, Eric Von Sydow, author of the soon to be released book "Metawhore" (hypnotica.org); and Wendell Watkins Sr. (youvestigate.com), who retired from the Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) in Washington, D.C., as Deputy Chief of Police with more than 30 years of experience. Chief Watkins also served as commander of the Washington D.C. Sex Offense Branch for five years and is the author of "You Vestigate, Don't Speculate."

Catcalls, whistles, ogling females with lustful stares, following females down the street four deep in a car, and even copping a feel - men accost women on the streets daily. Why do men insist on treating women and girls as young as 10 years old with such callous disrespect? Some men react angrily with profanity and name calling when their "greetings" are met with a sneer or flatly ignored. Tonight we discuss street harassment, male sense of entitlement to get a complete stranger's time and attention, and the legal and social ramifications of street harassment. Dr. Carla Stokes Founder and CEO of Helping Our Teen Girls in Real Life Situations, Inc. (HOTGIRLS), Dr. Sulaiman Nuriddin of MenStoppingViolence.Org, Detective Kurt Scanio of the Mesa Police Association, and Lauren Taylor of DefendYourself.Org will be on the panel.

All around the United States and the world, women and girls are raped daily. This past weekend right here in the San Francisco Bay Area, a high school student was robbed, beaten and repeatedly raped by 5 to 7 adult males over a 2 hour period on the campus of her high school after the homecoming dance. Reports confirm that at least 10 people stood around and watched, but NOT ONE PERSON THAT WITNESSED THE ATTACK CALLED THE POLICE OR TRIED TO INTERVENE ON THE GIRL'S BEHALF. I'll review several similar cases, and outline some of the traits of rapists and gang rapists as reported by FBI criminal profilers as well. But we have to ask... just what is going on in the minds of 18-21 year old men that makes them think its okay to hold women hostage and rape them? Your thoughts are welcome during tonight's discussion.

Submissive, docile women or the woman that is demanding and challenging to men - which seems to get the best response from males? Which one is the best sex partner? Which type of woman can a husband be most proud of? Which is most likely to be cheated on? Which do their offspring show more respect for? Discussion of the woman that is confident, strong and a challenge to men (have to earn her), vs. the docile, compliant woman that does everything you want. Which is it that most men want and why? Read the article Why Weak Men Want Submissive Women for more information on this subject.

Few people wait until their wedding night to have sex these days. And though having sex on the first date is usually frowned upon, sex as soon as the third date seems to be expected by many men. Some will let you know that they won't wait around to develop a relationship if sex isn't on the table right away! But to avoid being set up to be nothing more than a booty call, when should females allow sex to be introduced into a new relationship? What are the criteria for assessing readiness? How well can you really know someone that you've only dated a couple of times anyway? Casual sex, chemistry, commitment, sex-based relationships, one-night stands and virgin brides all discussed on tonight's broadcast.

Men upset about paying child support, involved in a multiple-father paternity case, or worried about a condom being hijacked -- we have the solution. There is a 100% effective absolutely foolproof way to prevent all cases of "Baby Daddyism," child support for 18 years for a child you didn't want, and all wrongful paternity cases. It's called Dyck In The Pants! That's right... keep it in your pants and you won't have any of these problems. Discussion of male responsibility in birth control, the high number of out of wedlock births, child support and child custody issues. Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball an Atlanta psychotherapist and author, Don Chavez who served on the US Interstate Child Support Commission and President of the National Congress for Men, and Carnell Smith, an expert in national child support, DNA paternity testing and wrongful paternity cases.

Everyone should have basic standards for dating, but some people have a ridiculous laundry list of standards that may be a bit unrealistic. On the flip side we have men and women that have no standards at all and take anything that comes along just to avoid being alone. Is it unrealistic for an educated Black woman to want to have a similarly educated Black man by her side? Why is it that women think book smarts is so important. Is it unrealistic for Black men to want a submissive woman in 2009? Who do these guys think a woman wants to be under their foot and total control? What is on your list of criteria... what standards do you require a potential mate to meet? Money? Sex? Looks? Just how flexible are you with your list of "must haves" when it comes to dating? Read the article: Can Dating Standards Be "Too" High? as well as the article Why Weak Men Want Submissive Women

Men have a great many fears that they hide under a mask of strength, anger and invincibility. Tonight we'll investigate male fears and the masks men wear to hide their terror - of women, vulnerability, inadequacy, failure, losing love, rejection and a litany of other issues. Dr. Geoffrey Greif, Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of "Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships" guests.

Topic of discussion is the rage that seems prevalent towards women by a great many males in our current society. Read Deborrah's article on the Hofstra University gang rape case. Are videos and the music industry really to blame for this behavior? We'll also discuss the attitude many men have about female sexual assault victims - that somehow its her fault and she did (or did not do) something that would have prevented the attack. Few men seem willing to place responsibility solidly where it belongs, on the attacker! Of particular interest is the public response to the Hofstra University incident which alleged a group rape by five young men on one woman. Guests will be Ken Solin, author of "The Key to The Men's Room: What Men Talk About When Women Aren't Around"; Jeff McKissack, owner of Defense by Design and researcher that has interviewed more than 1200 convicted rapists; Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball, relationship therapist and counselor from Atlanta; and Ben Atherton-Zeman, who has worked as a prevention educator for rape crisis centers, domestic violence programs, and state coalitions.

Women play many different types of games to elicit a commitment from a man. Women want to have their relationships defined, boundaries in place, expectations met! This need for security via commitment is difficult for females to let go of and mandatory for many to have peace of mind. But what is it that commitment means to men? Why are many men so hesitant to give their commitment, preferring to play it fast and loose with booty calls and friends with benefits (FWB) type relationships? What is it that men need to see or hear before they willingly and happily commit? Discussion of male commitment fears, what commitment means to men and women, and why men seem to avoid it! Read Never Date a Man That Wants to Go Dutch

Seems to me a lot of women set themselves up to be mistreated and not loved right because they do too much. We all know how men think, and knowing that, there are certain things you do and don't do if you want to get him, have him protect and adore you, volunteer to do things for you, etc. It starts with the first date and can easily go downhill from there. We'll cover the ego needs men have and what women do or say that pushes men away instead of drawing them closer. Men are actually very easy to understand and deal with when you accept that they are not, and never will be, women. Ms. HeartBeat and a couple of faithful friends will hold court. You're welcome to participate in the chat or on the phone.

Tonight's show continues our discussion of female sexuality and men's judgments, fears, and desire to control it. My special guest will be Alan Roger Currie, author of Mode One and host of BlogTalk show Up Front and Straightforward. Also appearing will be author Saundra E. Harris and Deidre Bacon, hosts of WSER Sassy Entertainment with host Sassy & Dlyte which brings you provocative and entertaining Internet radio every Thursday @ 9pm EST/ 6PM PST. We'll discuss the sexual double standard men have which demands that to be worthy of marriage, a woman must be relatively untouched by other men. Where did this attitude originate and why do Black men have it? Should women tell the truth or pretend to be less experienced than they are to protect men's egos? We'll also investigate women's sexuality in long-term relationships and marriage... how do women decide between the man that is stable and the man that is a sexual God? In other words, how do women choose between the stable nice guy who may be trustworthy and a good father figure, but who is sexually boring and the guy that makes her feel like a total woman but won't commit? This is a very real challenge for many, many American women. Many do settle for the good guy, only to be sorry about it later. Many choose the player who is good in bed, and they're sorry about that choice later as well. What to do ladies? What to do? Read article "Confusing Lust With Love" for more dating tips.

Since the majority of Black Americans are affiliated with some branch of Christian religious doctrine, we must look at Christianity as the root cause of many of the problems in the Black community. Black men have messed up minds and belief systems because they demand that Black women subjugate themselves. What would we do that for? How is religion and male dominance helping Black women in 2009? This is the #1 topic on the table for this broadcast. With Black churches filled primarily with women, is the Pastor in a position to teach equality and understanding and responsibility to men, or are they instead brainwashing women into accepting misogynistic treatment by men as the norm? Is this really the kind of relationship that Black men expect? Could this be the real reason Black women are not marrying... they refuse to place themselves under the foot of a male that believes he is superior to women? Should Christians date non-believers? Why would a man in 2009 think its okay to use the Bible as justification to control and abuse women? That's my stance - what's yours? My guest is Dr. Darrel Ray, author of the new book "THE GOD VIRUS - HOW RELIGION INFECTS OUR LIVES AND CULTURE." Find out more about his him and his book at http://www.thegodvirus.net

Join me and Kimberly Dawn Neumann, co-author of the book Sex Comes First: 15 Ways to Save Your Relationship Without Leaving Your Bedroom! We'll identify and address 15 universal relationship roadblocks and offer sexual solutions to each. Using her groundbreaking Sexual Solutions to address and resolve these common couple complications, the conversation will show how to use sex to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Best of all you'll be satisfied both in and out of the bedroom!

What's up with the double standard surrounding male and female sexuality? Why can a man screw around and freely celebrate and enjoy his sexuality, but a woman that does the same thing is labeled a 'ho, considered unmarriageable, and condemned to a loveless life because men shun her? Why is it that men expect to marry a chaste pure almost virginal woman while they hold themselves to no such standard? Bottom line question for the night, are men afraid of the Power of the Pu$$y and thus try to control it with religious doctrine, harsh judgments and controlling behaviors? If a woman wants a husband at some point in her life, must she listen or should she just lie about her sexual past? Read the article which discusses this issue in greater detail: The Male Struggle for Control of Female Sexuality.