Leading Saints Podcast

Kami Smith grew up in Arizona, Kansas, Utah, and Idaho in an active Latter-day Saint home. She suffered abuse as a young child and had a troubled youth with anxiety and addiction, but found her way back with the help of loving leaders, earthly parents, and heavenly parents. Her story can help us as we lead and help troubled youth. Highlights 5:00 Abuse at a young age 12:00 Experience with therapy 16:00 Struggles as a teenager 18:40 Recognizing her abuse 21:00 Advice to leaders of rebellious teens 24:00 How to create safe places for youth to have real conversations 35:00 Shame and guilt Kami felt 37:30 More advice to leaders 42:15 Dad's prayer to know what to do- love is the answer 48:00 Love even though you don't agree with their choices 49:45 Kami's addiction 53:00 Kami's experience with Anasazi wilderness therapy 55:00 Kami's turning point Links Being the Child of a Gay Parent in Latter-day Saint Culture | An Interview with Mike Ramsey Anasazi Foundation Instagram: hey_kamismith

Kristen Coltrin has a bachelor's degree in psychology and is working on a master's degree in clinical social work. She has been working as an intern with the Idaho Suicide Prevention Hotline, and felt called to help support Church leaders after an August 19, 2018 letter asking us to be more educated about suicide. The people she worked with at the hotline were excited to do outreach with organizations, and she stepped into the role of providing knowledge about suicide to Church leaders in her area. Highlights 5:45 Letter sent requesting ward councils to review information and become more educated about suicide 6:45 There is an entire section of churchofjesuschrist.org that is about suicide 8:35 Some statistics: suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, and the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24; some reasons people in areas with higher rates are more likely to die from suicide 10:25 Use the term suicide or dying by suicide and avoid the term “commit suicide” 11:25 The crushed bone perspective on mental health 14:00 The Church’s resources and statements about suicide, debunking some of the cultural misconceptions 16:00 Why do people choose to die by suicide? * A lack of feeling connected * A lack of belonging * Feeling like a burden 17:00 Why is the Church a good place for suicide prevention? Community, belonging, finding a purpose in life, resources, commitments to bear one another’s burdens 18:00 Why would the Church be a place that makes people feel any of those three things? People might feel disconnected or feel they don’t belong within the culture, feeling of being a burden to the ward members, feeling shamed for who they are, leaders aren’t trained counselors 20:40 Risk factors for suicide: prior suicide attempt, substance abuse or diagnosable mental health disorders, access to lethal means, family history of suicide or violence, lack of social support, loss of a family member or friend (especially by suicide), desensitization to pain (military, first responders) 22:30 Some warning signs of suicide: inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, changes in weight or eating habits, neglecting school or personal appearance, chronic headaches or fatigue, suddenly more or less religious, and many more 23:45 Triggering events can be anything but it’s usually a buildup of difficulties over time 25:45 Is suicide preventable? Yes! 27:15 Often when people start a new mental-health medication or otherwise begin to come out of depressing circumstances, that is when they follow-through on the suicide they have been thinking about 28:45 How do we know if someone is suicidal? Listen for the indirect verbal cues/invitations and be as direct as possible in asking them if they are considering suicide 30:55 Use the word “suicide” or “killing yourself” because it’s not just harming themselves, it’s killing themselves; contrast with cutting 32:15 Warning sign of looking for ways to prepare to take care of their family 33:30 What do you do in that moment when they answer “Yes”? Most important is to listen. 35:40 Resources to prepare in advance: * Suicide prevention hotlines and crisis lines: Know your national number and any local numbers * Church legal hotline: Wear out that number asking questions you might think are stupid * Local counselors: develop some resource relationships in your area * Utah mobile crisis line (University Neuropsychiatric Institute) 801-587-3000 * Hospital emergency departments 44:30 Last resort when they won’t go along with you, call for a welfare check: call the local non-emergency police number and ask for a “crisis intervention-trained officer” 47:40 Veterans hotline, The Trevor Project,

Autumn Stringam is from Alberta, Canada, and now lives in Nampa, Idaho. She and her husband are the parents of five children and have two grandchildren. She grew up with a community-minded mindset, and works in mental health nutrition and at a special-needs high school. Autumn was called as a JustServe specialist when the program was beginning in her community, and took that opportunity to help grow a thriving program in the Treasure Valley area. Highlights 7:15 Autumn's call as a JustServe specialist for the area’s coordinating council 9:45 What is JustServe? A website intended as a tool to minister with others within the community, managed through the stakes and coordinating councils 11:30 Agreement to serve together and just to serve together 13:45 Anyone can post and manage sites—members and nonmembers 14:30 Stake public affairs specialist, JustServe specialist, and a committee work with the stake high council and sometimes a stake youth council to develop the program in their area 16:25 Groups and individuals can go to the app, sign up, and go serve 17:20 JustServe manuals are in the gospel library 18:00 The JustServe specialist’s responsibilities 19:05 Relief Society has taken over leading Church members within the program so the specialists can reach into the community 20:00 Every area needs to get entrepreneurial and figure out how to best use the program in their area 21:20 How Autumn applied the program through the youth program 24:25 How to keep it focused on service only: finding common ground and getting acquainted 28:35 Advertising goodness: experience with LGBT youth 33:25 How to combat the fear among others, such as schools, that this is a church-related organization 36:00 The overwhelm of “another thing”: take a step back and see how this helps fulfill every part 37:30 Take the challenge and the Lord will not fail us: Her experience with the “pick a date” program and how this is the model for our time 42:25 Overcoming obstacles with other organizations in the community: the program is funded by the Church but it isn’t owned by the Church 45:00 Have a full inventory of opportunities before you recruit volunteers 46:05 Look at zip code 83606 at JustServe.org for examples 47:10 The momentum will come 49:10 Using social media to advertise and promote service opportunities 53:20 Using the app and website 54:20 Campaigns for volunteers: “JustServe January” “JustServe Summer” 57:30 Start with one campaign, without the expectation of immediate results 59:35 Familiarize yourself with what is already happening out there; we are advertising what others are already doing, so plug in and then let them shine 1:01:15 How JustServe led to finding and adopting their daughter Links JustServe.org Instagram: justservetreasurevalley

Dr. Robert Ferrell has served as an elders quorum president, high councilor, YSA bishop, and YSA stake president, and has presented at firesides and conferences—including BYU Education Week—about connecting with young single adults. He grew up in the Bay Area of California but lives in Mountain Green, Utah, and is a periodontist working in the Ogden area. He has a bachelor's degree in psychology and a doctoral degree in dental surgery, and he and his wife are the parents of eight children. Highlights 7:30 His call as a YSA stake president came while serving as a bishop, forming a new YSA stake 11:00 He saw a need for a greater understanding of young adults today, and decided to present at BYU Education Week as an advocate for young adults 13:10 Stigmas of the Millennial generation in and outside of the Church 14:20 The Gospel of Jesus Christ does not lose people; the culture, tradition, false doctrine, and application loses people 15:20 Creating a young adult program needs to start with a strong organizational structure 16:00 Most wards are not aware of the problem with the activity rate among YSAs 17:10 Priesthood keys and leadership have to be behind the leaders in a YSA program 21:10 It can be easy to lose track of YSAs, and family wards need to work with YSA programs to focus on rescuing—most effective when the stake presidents work together with YSA leaders 25:00 Worked with his area seventy and coordinating councils and were able to see great success with the program * Multiple ward mission leaders were assigned to the stakes that funneled YSAs to their YSA ward, and senior adult couples assigned to be the bridge between the YSA ward and the home stake * Returned missionaries are prepared to help rescue other YSAs 27:25 Wanted as many of the less-active records as they could, so they could organize and reach out to rescue them * Focused on organizational structure with leaders working together * Ministering happened among the active members, YSA ward mission leaders handled the rest 31:10 The organizational process has to be there to help young adults come unto Christ 31:50 #1 cultural concept that must change: YSA wards are not about marriage, they don’t need to be reminded, and that message turns them away 34:00 The purpose of the young single adult program is helping them connect with Jesus Christ 36:40 YSA programs are not glorified YMYW programs, and activities need to be planned by the YSAs and be focused on things that help connect them to Christ 40:15 Leadership by collaboration instead of control: turn it over to them * The Lord used young adults to restore the Church; they can be trusted with the YSA program 45:10 Example of giving autonomy: Stake YSA Relief Society presidency recognized a pornography problem with the sisters and taught about it at ward conferences 47:10 Encouraged the sisters to turn to their Relief Society president when they have a problem, and take it to the bishop when they are ready to repent 49:30 Counsel given to him as the stake president was that you cannot rescue YSAs and then throw the book at them * Is that approach too soft? Story of missionary who returned after less than a week in the MTC, due to sexual transgression 1:00:30 The sins are a symptom of a more serious doctrinal problem and the purpose of discipline is to save the soul of the transgressor, not to punish 1:04:00 Bishops and counselors need to be working on the same level so they can develop relationships with the YSA ward members 1:05:00 Behavior vs. doctrine: sin is the consequence of Satan’s real purpose 1:08:00 Leaders need to help them resolve contention in their lives

Trena Anderson and the DFCU Foundation 3:10 Deseret First Credit Union started in 1955 by a Church employee to serve his fellow employees 4:30 Formation of the credit union’s charitable organization, the DFCU Foundation 6:00 The foundation takes referrals for missionaries to help 7:10 Story of refugee twins in Buffalo, New York, who joined the Church and eventually decided to serve missions (video clips of stories available on the website) 9:10 The foundation helps outfit missionaries as they prepare to serve, whereas the Church's general mission fund helps with the monthly stipend 10:50 Donors can also help specific missionaries 11:40 Upcoming annual golf tournament at Stonebridge Golf Course in Salt Lake City, July 30th 13:20 Go to dfcu.com/foundation/ for more information, to make a donation, or to register for the golf tournament Barry Rellaford Barry Rellaford is a globally sought-after leadership development expert with over 30 years of experience as a coach, facilitator and leader in multiple organizations. He teaches in the Business department at Brigham Young University, and previously worked with Stephen M. R. Covey in developing FranklinCovey's “Leading at the SPEED of TRUST” program. He has a Master’s degree in Labor and Human Resources from Ohio State University and a Bachelor’s degree in Organizational Communication from BYU’s Marriott School of Management. Barry is the bishop of a young single adults ward in Provo, Utah. He and his wife, Lorilee, are the parents of six children. Highlights 00:30 Grew up in Paradise, California, which burned in the 2018 Camp Fire, California’s deadliest, most destructive wildfire 17:10 Joined the Church while in high school 18:20 Kept a journal of his thoughts and experiences from that time 19:30 Served a mission to France 20:25 Developed a career in the leadership development field, seeking to help individuals grow, and desired to be a teacher 23:00 Transitioned his desire to teach into being a leadership coach, and ended up with FranklinCovey 24:35 Currently serving at a Young Single Adult ward in Provo, Utah 25:15 His experience with the Camp Fire 26:15 Sought to help the residents of Paradise with a service project focused on travel trailers and RVs for temporary housing, along with other donations 28:30 Told his story on Facebook and the project took off 30:45 We are hard-wired for story 32:30 Housing quickly became a serious problem with the displaced residents from the fire 35:00 Our church leaders are telling a positive story of faith, despite the negative stories we see all around us in the world 41:40 The Church in northern California has been involved with many organizations in the disaster recovery efforts 42:30 If we are faithful and strive to be obedient, the promise is there 46:10 Taking the first trailers to California 48:30 Returning to Paradise this spring was more positive 51:20 Our purpose as people has been revealed, both in general and specifically for each of us 51:50 GPS: We have gifts, passions, and situations * The Strength of Ten: Talents, time, and treasure, energy and experience, a network and know-how 42:15 Overwhelmed when first called as a YSA bishop 57:00 In our leadership callings, we need to discern why the Lord has called us 57:30 Being purposefully engaged in the work * Figure out what your talents are * Go meet your neighbors and minister to them * Helping others see themselves as God sees them, and to see their future differently 59:25 Faith and vision: “Live out of imagination, not memory.”—Steven R. Covey

Kari Roppe lives in the Twin Cities area, in a lake cabin destination area in Wisconsin. She grew up in Provo, Utah, moved to Minneapolis as a young adult, and became inactive in the Church for many years. She is an elementary school teacher, the single parent of three children, and was called unexpectedly as a stake Young Women president. Highlights 6:40 Kari's experience coming back to the Church after years of inactivity 10:30 Served in Primary, Relief Society, and as gospel doctrine teacher before being called to the ward Young Women presidency 11:30 YW camp testimony meeting with stake presidency attending 13:00 Stake Young Women president calling 14:00 Called even though she was a single, working parent of teenagers 15:15 Choosing her counselors—including her own sister Leadership principles * 17:45 Surround yourself with people who know more than you * 19:30 The Lord calls presidencies, not individuals * 20:30 Formal meetings didn’t work for her, but they communicated well * 22:25 Be willing to go offroading a bit * 23:00 Using Dr. Seuss as a theme for young women * 26:00 Make sure that you don’t check your sense of humor at the door * 26:30 Twilight-themed skit at YW camp helped them be more approachable * 28:35 Always have the needs of those you serve first and foremost 30:00 Her stake president gave them freedom but one directive to always provide three things for the youth: * Service * 32:35 Fun * 33:50 A spiritual experience 36:30 Mourning “my girls” after serving 38:40 We love those we serve and begin to feel the love the Lord has for his children

James Quigley is a retired CEO of Deloitte, the world’s largest professional services company. He currently serves as chairman of the board of directors at Hess Corporation, and on the board of directors for Wells Fargo, Merrimack Pharmaceutical, and Chatbooks. He also has a passion for leadership in education and is working to support the leadership development of school principals through Deloitte University. Jim served as a bishop while working as CEO of Deloitte. He and his wife Bonnie have three children and many grandchildren. Highlights 4:15 His father’s experience singing with the Tabernacle Choir 5:40 Growing up in a small town and learning leadership as a football quarterback 7:10 Schooling and how it led to leading an international company 9:35 Learned a great deal about leadership through his church callings and mentorship with church leaders 12:00 The principle of “the one”: Success is connecting to the individual 12:45 Make moments matter in both one-on-one interaction and group interactions that result in the listener having a one-on-one experience 14:00 Connecting with the person in front of him is always his priority 15:15 Everyone cannot come to you for direction every day. Establish the organization’s culture and both allow and expect others to direct themselves. 16:40 Tell those you lead what you expect of them in the culture of the organization, explaining the values using simple stories to explain the how and why 21:50 Helping people look at their commitment as more than a job, and teaching them the organizational culture 25:20 His experience being called to serve as a bishop while working as a CEO 26:25 Assemble a capable team, then do the things you cannot delegate and delegate the rest 27:40 He focused on what the ward wanted to accomplish, then set goals as a leadership team 28:50 The importance of knowing how to run an effective meeting as a bishop: “The Spirit leaves when the allotted time has expired” 29:45 Rely on the executive secretary to prepare the meeting agenda 31:40 His spouse is a relationship partner who was an important part of his team, and the bishop’s wife influences the tone of what happens in the ward 34:00 Advice for newly-called bishops: encourage self-reliance in individuals 34:50 A bishop’s job is to help make the Atonement real in the lives of the individual members of the ward. Everything else can be delegated. 36:45 Transitioning away from a major role: don’t get overly-invested in the title, but come to it with a sense of urgency and know that at some point you will be leaving it behind 37:50 Make sure people want to do the job they are being asked to do so that they can come in with enthusiasm and be a team player 39:20 What he is doing post-retirement: Deloitte’s Courageous Principals Program for leadership development of school principals 43:00 Look to Christ as the ultimate leader and personalize what he would do in individual interactions Links The Mormon Way of Doing Business, by Jeff Benedict

Tad R. Callister was recently released as Sunday School general president. He previously served in the Presidency of the Seventy, as a member of the Second Quorum of the Seventy, an Area Seventy, president of the Canada Toronto East mission, regional representative, stake president, bishop, and as a full-time missionary in the Eastern Atlantic States Mission. Brother Callister holds an accounting degree from BYU, a Juris Doctorate degree from UCLA, and a master’s degree in tax law from NYU Law School. He is the grandson of apostle LeGrand Richards, the author of four books including The Infinite Atonement and most recently A Case for the Book of Mormon. He and his wife Kathryn Louise Saporiti are the parents of six children. Highlights 2:30 Moving on from being released as General Sunday School president 4:20 Which came first, the book or the talk? 5:15 How his law practice helped him crystallize thoughts when writing 5:50 His approach to personal study 6:10 Lesson to seek and ponder his own insight first before turning to doctrinal commentary 8:00 Studying first thing in the morning, and writing along with reading has helped him summarize his thoughts while studying the scriptures 8:50 Questioning and discussing with others is part of pondering 10:00 Reason can strengthen faith, and logic and the Spirit can go hand-in-hand 11:40 The audience for the book is first people who have testimonies that can be strengthened and who can help strengthen the testimonies of others, as well as those who may have questions, and finally critics 12:40 A partial truth, when presented as a whole truth, is an untruth 13:00 Less than 2% of the archeological finds in ancient America have been unearthed 16:00 An intellectual witness of scripture does not come from archeological findings, whether regarding the Bible or the Book of Mormon 16:40 His grandfather LeGrand Richards was a common-man leader, related to everyone, and simply loved people 19:15 Ward Sunday School presidents are not merely bell-ringers because they are in charge of the teacher councils, and they have the responsibility to help improve the teaching of every teacher in every organization, and to see that the individual and family curriculum is being implemented in every home 21:50 One purpose of the Come Follow Me curriculum is to take us from reading the scriptures to pondering the scriptures and discussing them. In the homes, it is the catalyst for discussion and learning the gospel together. 23:30 There has been a substantial increase in individual and family study, and class members from children to adults are better prepared for Sunday meetings 24:10 He and his counselors traveled internationally and were able to get a good idea of what was happening with teacher council meetings 25:10 Practising through role play at the end of teacher council meetings was one thing they observed and recognized as an effective implementation in those meetings 25:45 Another effective implementation is the change to Christ-centered Easter Sunday and Christmas services so that members can invite others to come worship with them 27:30 Surprised at his call as the General Sunday School president 28:20 They were given a lot of latitude but there was a clear expectation to improve teaching in the home and at church 30:20 Traveling and visiting as a Sunday School general auxiliary president was to teach in general how to teach more like the Savior, to help teachers make teacher counsels more effective, and to discuss in focus groups what was working or not working in areas around the world 31:40 In the presidency of a Quorum of Seventy, they were given responsibility for a specific area, and were to train area seventies,

We are excited to team up with Cumorah Tours to organize an epic church history tour that will happen in September of 2019. Listen to the attached interview to hear further details. There are only 48 seats available on this tour bus and they are going fast so check out all the full itinerary and reserve your seat on the bus today! SEE FULL TOUR DETAILS

Bruce and Marie Hafen are most recently the authors of the book "Faith is Not Blind", in which they "acknowledge complicated gospel issues, yet clearly and gently guide readers through the steps necessary to work through complexity, develop informed testimonies, and become filled with the faith that comes from knowing God." Bruce has served as president of Rick's College, dean of the J. Reuben Clark Law School and provost at Brigham Young University, president of the St. George Temple, and in the First Quorum of the Seventy. He is also the author of several books. Marie has served alongside and co-authored books with Bruce. She also taught religion, literature and writing at both BYU-Idaho and BYU in Provo, and served on the Young Women General Board and the Board of Directors for the Deseret News. In this interview, the Hafens share experiences helping young people deal with uncertainty, doubt, and trial as they struggle to reconcile the simple faith of youth with the complex realities of adulthood. Learn how you can apply their experience to your own ministry and learn to develop the kind of relationship with young adults that allows you aid their progress between simplicity, through complexity, and on to simplicity coupled with understanding. The journey need not surprise or lead anyone away from the gospel. It can bring us all, like Adam and Eve, back to an understanding of and into a closer relationship and reconciliation with God. Highlights 0:26 - Bruce’s background: President of Rick’s College, Dean of BYU Law School, called as a general authority in 1996, President of the St George Temple 1:08 - Marie’s background: native of Bountiful, Utah; was a BYU student when she met Bruce; lots of experience with college-age students; interested in helping others reach out to that age group 2:15 - Our Religious Questions course - talking about gospel questions with friends and peers normalized these discussions 3:55 - Elder Hafen gave a devotional, “Dealing with Uncertainty”, at BYU in 1978 that is an early work on questions that may disconcert this demographic 5:24 - Did individuals ask the same questions then as they do now? 5:57 - Dealing with complexity and ambiguity - college students were very idealistic, and they found generalized discussion helped students deal with practical reality; how do adults deal with the gap between our idealized expectations and the reality of our daily lives? 8:49 - We should expect all adults to experience this; how can we help people not be shocked by the bigger, broader world and learn it is nothing to fear 9:25 - Some people are so idealistic that they remain shocked by these discoveries; another group switch over to embracing reality so single-mindedly they have no interest in idealistic visions and reject religion quickly 10:42 - Ideas contained in their book, "Faith is Not Blind" - How should we view complexity and simplicity? 12:12 - Untested simplicity is not to be desired 13:34 - It may not be just doubts or questions that create complexity, but could be health or many other life experiences 13:51 - Anecdote about a female inmate who came to understand her simple testimony in a different way because of her life’s experiences; complexity informed the simplicity - she came to understand that earlier testimony 15:52 - Anecdote about Holly who struggled with the topic of women and the priesthood, and left the Church 19:10 - It wasn’t a regression, but turning to simplicity offered peace 19:21 - Adam and Eve gained maturity through their fall and subsequent experiences 22:10 - How might leaders respond when members encounter complexity? 23:16 - A typical problem is when a struggling member goes to a leader who is wedded to a black and white perspective that they get the message the leader does not understand them

Josh Packard, his wife Heidi, and his parents Cindy and Blair Packard join Kurt to discuss Josh’s faith transition away from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the lessons learned from the entire family about maintaining love in the family while respecting decisions. Josh was raised in a traditional Latter-day Saint home, serving a mission, marrying Heidi in the temple, and attending medical school. While in medical school, Josh encountered areas that caused him to question his faith, ultimately leading years later with him deciding to resign his membership. Cindy and Blair, then serving as mission presidents when they learned about Josh’s decision to leave the faith, struggled (along with the rest of their family) with how to engage with Josh and Heidi regarding not just Josh’s faith status, but the impact to their family. Through learning from their mistakes, the Packard family came out even stronger by learning how to love unconditionally, engage in thoughtful and respectful discussions, and understand the other’s perspective in this difficult faith transition. ***REGISTER FOR THE QUESTIONING SAINTS SUMMIT NOW*** Highlights Kurt Francom (LS): Today, I have the opportunity through the powers of the internet to connect with two couples who know each other well. Blair and Cindy Packard in - I'll get this right this time - Gilbert Arizona. Is that right guys? Blair: Actually it's wrong. Now we're in Mesa right now. LS: Now you're in Mesa, okay. Blair: From Gilbert. We're in my Mesa office. LS: Very good. Nice. Then your son Josh and his wife Heidi, who are in Georgia. Am I right, Josh? Josh: Right. Columbus, Georgia. LS: Nice. Cool. Obviously, Josh was raised by this great couple, the Packards. We're going to talk about an important subject as far as the dynamic of families, especially when an individual member or members of family take a different faith journey, that many times may lead people outside of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I guess this started...It was interesting. I went to Mesa area and then had opportunity to visit with the Packards in Gilbert. But the night before I visited them, I had somebody that's in the audience of Leading Saints, and they said to me, "You know what we need is an interview that talks about the dynamics of when a son or daughter leaves the church and how that impacts the family." And I said, "Wow, that sounds like a great story, but I don't even know who I would talk to about that but I'll try and find somebody." Then the next day, I met Cindy and Blair, and they said, "That that's our situation. Let's talk about it." So let's maybe put the story into context here. Cindy, you want to start maybe where this all began? The day you held little Josh in your arms...No, I'm just kidding. I mean, wherever you want to start. Cindy: Well, I think speaking for all of us, we'd like to say we're very grateful for the opportunity to do this. After we kind of made our way through this journey, we thought it'd really be helpful if we could find a way to share this with people. So we're happy for the opportunity. It's also a bear journey, where we want to share this personal journey - and it hasn't been easy. We hope that we can help other people who are going through this in some way. We did some things wrong; we did some things right.

We are excited to announce the Questioning Saints Virtual Summit. An online conference dedicated to helping Latter-day Saints validate and love those who begin to question their faith. We have some remarkable presenters including: Anthony Sweat, BYU Professor Adam Miller, Professor at Collin College in McKinney, Texas, Author of Letters to a Young Mormon David Ostler, Former Mission president and author David Snell, Co-host of Saints Unscripted Elder & Sister Hafen, Authors of Faith is Not Blind Jana Riess, Author of The Next Mormons John Hilton, BYU Professor Kurt Francom, Executive Director of Leading Saints  Michael Goodman, BYU Professor Packard Family (Blair, Cindy, Josh, Heidi) Ryan Gottfredson, Professor at California State University - Fullerton Spencer Fluhman, Executive Director of the Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship Yohan Delton, BYU-I Professor REGISTER TODAY - Conference starts April 16

Born and raised in Utah, Becky Hennessy has been in the mental health field since 2003 and a therapist since 2007, licensed in Utah. Prior to launching her private practice, she worked for the Division of Child and Family Services in Child Protection and Family Preservation. She also worked in private practices and in foster care. For LDS Family Services she was a therapist member of a Child Trauma Team and ran a therapeutic group for adult women who were molested as children. She serves on the board of therapist advisers for Leading Saints. Married since 2004, Beckie and her husband have three children. Highlights 5:08 Life coaching compared to therapy. The former does not require licensing, is unregulated and does not make diagnoses. Coaches often have valuable certifications. Therapists are licensed, regulated, make diagnoses and help connect dots from past to present to future. Therapists often work with past experiences while coaches work with current struggles. 9:00 Some may find therapy too intense or stigmatized and prefer life coaching. Life coaching is a growing field involving various models. Some individuals find one model more useful than another. Lay leaders need to exercise caution in recommending one over the other. Some individuals sign up for ongoing coaching as they would for a gym membership. 15:00 Beckie’s practice involves some degree of live coaching, combined with a measure of seminar-style instruction. Therapy and life coaching are not competing approaches. A good life coach is willing to refer a client to counseling, where appropriate. 17:10 CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Training/Therapy) approach discussed. The thought precedes the feeling which precedes actions. Controlling thoughts helps manage feelings and behavior. 20:25 ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy/Training) model discussed. The feeling may happen—you didn’t choose it. Acknowledge feelings and their sometimes-overwhelming effect. Commit to how to respond based on your value system. Grab the wheel and steer, rather than allowing feelings to manage you. Be aware of what’s going on with the body (chest, stomach, head). 33:30 How might church leaders profit from these approaches? Exercise caution in advising, “Do such and such and you’ll feel differently,” or “Just wake up and tell yourself to feel differently.” People may visit you with a bucket of feelings and leave feeling unheard if feelings aren’t acknowledged. Don’t encourage “Fake it till you make it” or “poser” behaviors. Advising counselees to pray/read scriptures more may help them feel the Spirit without altering the deep feelings they experience. Christ is the Healer. 48:15 As leaders, learn to acknowledge your feelings about certain triggers. Don’t stifle your feelings. Remember, Christ experienced difficult emotions. Feelings don’t define us. Invest in self-awareness and self-care. Empathy (feelings) and compassion (actions) can include self-compassion. 55:40 As you become more adept using these principles in your life and home life you can help others more. A leader doesn’t have to be the expert—Christ is the expert. 57:25 Firehoses vs lawnmowers discussion. Follow Christ’s lead on empathy/compassion. Lazarus story. 1:02:20 Questions to ask: Where is it hurting the most? What is one thing I can do to help? What do you need? They may not assess their need accurately, but they need to feel heard. The “fix” may take time. Links * The Path of Imperfection Podcast with Beckie Hennessy * B.R.I.C.K.S. Family Counseling * beckiehennessy.com * Facebook:

"It is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best." —Dallin H. Oaks Brad Barber co-hosts The Next Step Podcast, which is based around the Church's Addiction Recovery Program and addiction in general. He grew up in the Church in southern California, served a mission, and attended Brigham Young University. Brad has seen many friends caught in addiction and became involved with ARP after hearing podcast co-host Jay's testimony of the program and wondering why there weren't ARP addiction meetings in his area. Highlights 6:45 How Brad got involved with ARP and started The Next Step Podcast 12:00 Setting up the ARP program is supposed to start with the stake 12:20 A facilitator who is an addict in recovery should be leading the meetings 12:50 Leaders who have not been through the process do not know what addicts have gone through and addicts can tell 13:30 A sponsor is a person who is in sobriety from addiction 14:55 At first, addicts categorize themselves against each other until they realize everyone's struggles are the same, but anyone who has experienced addiction can facilitate for others experiencing different types of addiction 15:45 Quote from the intro of the ARP manual (in LDS Tools) about what addiction is 17:00 Some statistics about addictions that go beyond alcohol, drugs, and pornography 18:10 "Atonement Realization Program" because the 12 Steps walk you through the Atonement to improve yourself 18:40 Elder Oaks' talk, "Good, Better, Best": Have people been lifted, encouraged, and changed? 20:15 A 12-Step meeting is different than counseling, but ARP is organized under LDS Family Services 20:35 Meetings usually start from the bottom up, where a family member starts a group after discovering the program exists 21:05 The 12 Steps were invented by the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1930's 21:40 Good: There are ARP meetings in the stake, and ward leaders are aware of them 22:15 Group leaders are generally not addicts in recovery, and need to be a person who has no judgment toward others 23:50 Brad's advice to group leaders: Don't show up dressed like a missionary or pretend to be something you are not 24:45 Better: Passionate group leaders who coordinate with other group leaders 25:25 Invite leaders to go to a meeting and challenge them to not be afraid of what other people might think 27:00 Some do's and don'ts about attending a meeting: * Introduce yourself by first name only * Resist the urge to share your testimony 29:50 Better: Have meetings with a varying mix of people at stages of sobriety to help support the participants 30:25 It's the responsibility of group leaders to find those addicts in recovery and get them to come 30:55 Bishops have a responsibility to help identify those people and connect them to ARP 32:35 It's the purpose of sponsors to follow-up and that's how to maintain sobriety 33:30 Spouses also need to understand that sobriety isn't the end 34:20 Better: Have your bishops attend ARP meetings 35:25 Treat the ARP meetings the same as self-reliance meetings and attend a full 12-week course to really understand the power of these steps 36:30 In ARP, everyone shares their experience instead of listening to an "expert" 37:00 Story: everyone can benefit from learning the 12 Steps 37:50 Better: Persons who have done the 12 Steps are now supporting others 38:05 "What gets you sober won't keep you sober" 39:50 Best: You have facilitators who have broken anonymity

Jessica Johnson works in leadership development with the RBL Group. She holds an MBA from Brigham Young University and previously worked in management and marketing consulting, and in television sports. Jessica spoke about councils as part of the Leading Saints Leadership Conference in November 2018. The video of this podcast is also part of the Motivating Saints Virtual Summit. Highlights 8:30 We try to find the best people for the job, but our own biases can cause us to overlook latent leaders 10:10 Metrics for success are different in the Church 12:10 Think about the role and needs: Who are the stakeholders? Who are they serving? What are their needs? 15:15 Don't start with the people who can fill any calling, but start with the people who are less visible 16:15 Will trumps skill: look for the Amuleks along with the Almas 17:10 First seek the Spirit, but pray for discernment 18:15 Always be training new leaders 20:15 As we seek inspiration and get to know the members of the ward better, inspiration comes 20:25 Example of a bishop who had a weekly new-member meeting in his office that was a Sunday School class, including representatives of the bishopric and relevant auxiliary leadership 23:45 We often have unrecognized internal assumptions about people that we don't question: question those assumptions 25:40 There may be leaders in the ward that are not in formal leadership positions 27:10 Storytelling is how we build culture: Tell stories to spark genuine ministering 29:20 Facts and figures can be dismissed but we remember stories because we insert ourselves into them 30:45 How do we support new leaders? What does that look like? How do we train them? 31:35 Support them by doing assignments and tasks with them first 31:45 Follow-up by giving very specific positive feedback 32:35 Kurt: Sometimes we don't choose that less-than-ideal candidate for a calling because we don't know how to support them 33:45 Kurt: Hold those stewardship meetings 34:20 Not everyone knows exactly what they're supposed to do: example of newly-returned member with a Primary calling 36:00 Give them a few expectations up front so they can create habits and grow into more expectations 36:45 Knowledge about how to do things is often assumed in our culture and we all need a little help knowing how to do things 38:00 Consider assigning a mentor 39:00 "One of the most important things you can leave after you're released is people who have increased in capacity and confidence."—Elder Bednar 40:30 In a business, 20% of the time should be spent on developing people and not "administratia": flip this in a ward setting to 80% 42:20 "Feed forward" (not feedback): Look to the future and ask, "How do we make this better for the future?" then have a collaborative conversation. 44:35 SCARF model of dealing with feedback (David Rock) 45:45 You can learn a lot from those conversations that help with understanding and compassion 47:00 There will be "failure" and struggle but they will learn from it 47:40 Kurt: example of parade float and what was learned 49:00 Look outside your network to find these latent leaders: get to know people you don't know 49:30 If no one disagrees with you in a presidency meeting, that is actually a problem: conflict is healthy (not contention) 51:40 We want everyone involved: D&C 82 That every person may gain other talents Links SCARF Model