Leading Saints Podcast

Register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit Here This is a clip from the upcoming Liberating Saints Virtual Summit which begins on September 10, 2019. In this clip, you will hear Jody Moore talk about the 3 J's that can help someone maintain a healthy mentality when someone they love is struggling with pornography. To hear the full interview register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit

Register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit Here This is a clip from the upcoming Liberating Saints Virtual Summit which begins on September 10, 2019. In this clip, you will hear Anne Blythe who is the director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, which is an organization that helps women overcome the trauma they experience in abusive relationships. To hear the full interview register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit

Frank Layden is a retired basketball coach and executive of the National Basketball Association's Utah Jazz. Layden during his coaching days was known for his lighthearted approach to the game as well as to himself, often mocking his weight and looks, and known for giving one-liners to the media before and after games. In 1984, Layden was awarded the NBA's Coach of the Year. That same season, he was head coach for the NBA All-Star Game and won both the NBA's Executive of the Year and the NBA's J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Awards. Frank Layden will be speaking at the 2019 BYU Management Society's Moral and Ethical Leadership Conference this month. Highlights 03:15 Experiences around involvement with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and what President Thomas S. Monson said about him 05:15 How he ended up in Utah with the Jazz 07:50 First knowledge and interactions with members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 10:00 Approaching sports and culture in Utah with the attitude of, “What can we do to help here?” and always building relationships instead of focusing on differences 13:15 How he got into coaching 14:25 Believes his family was meant to be in Utah 14:50 How they built the Jazz up from a losing team 16:20 You’re not always going to succeed, and don’t measure your success by money; do something you like doing and involve service 17:30 Things the Jazz did to help the players and their families grow and become better than they were before * Wives club putting on fashion shows, making Christmas trees, and going to school * Chapel service with the Rev. France Davis and Pastor Jerry Lewis * Bonus to players who finished their college degrees 20:00 If the players feel you (the coaches) are for them, they will give everything for you 21:15 Wanted the players to know they were loved. Always asked, “What can I do for you today?” 22:25 Start with the small things: be there, on time, and read to play; you have to have both authority and discipline 25:20 The players need to believe in you, and you have to believe in yourself * You have to know who needs a kick and who needs a hug * The team needs to know who the leader is * Winning is not a sometimes thing: it starts the first day of practice 33:15 Connecting one-to-one with the players * Creating a relationship where they are comfortable coming to you as the leader * Listen to them (book club and reading) * Dressing like professionals * Showing the players respect and treating them like adults builds loyalty * The players will know whether or not you enjoy your job * Leave them laughing 49:00 Being part of the religious community in Utah made him a better Catholic Links 2019 BYU Management Society Moral and Ethical Leadership Conference

Register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit Here This is a clip from the upcoming Liberating Saints Virtual Summit which begins on September 10, 2019. In this clip, you will hear Dina Alexander who is the founder and CEO of Educate and Empower Kids. She shares some best practices of how to easily talk to kids about the dangers of pornography. To hear the full interview register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit

Register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit Here This is a clip from the upcoming Liberating Saints Virtual Summit which begins on September 10, 2019. In this clip you hear how Steve Shields has found community from his local leaders that has helped him maintain recovery from his sexual addiction. To hear the full interivew register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit

Whitney Woodruff was shocked when President Rob Ferrell extended the call for her to serve as the stake Relief Society president in her young single adult stake. This was a calling typically reserved for older, married women with much more experience. As a young single adult herself, she solicited the help of three other incredible women; Kaylyn Crawford, Stacie Leavitt, and Kimberly Webb. In this episode, Kurt Francom discusses with them their unique approach of visiting each Relief Society in the stake to discuss the complex topic of female pornography use and how individuals can fight through the shame and get the help to overcome this temptation. Transcript Availalbe Below Highlights * 4:45 Introduction of each participant and the story of how they were called to the stake Relief Society presidency * 8:30 How they began to consider addressing the issue of pornography use of those in Relief Society * 15:00 How they organized and formatted their lesson about avoiding pornography to the Relief Society * 18:00 What feedback was received after their lesson * 21:00 How this lesson impacted their presidency * 24:00 Why it is important to be direct and clear in lessons about avoiding pornography * 28:00 How they prepared for the lesson * 30:30 The role of priesthood leaders during this lesson * 32:00 How pornography is different for women compared to men * 42:30 How girls/women typically learn about pornography (especially in their developmental years) * 45:20 The most important topic of the lesson, the Atonement of Jesus Christ * 48:00 A powerful question to begin a discussion about pornography use with men and women * 50:00 How to create safety so that individuals want to talk to someone about their pornography use and get help * 58:00 Advice for male priesthood leaders to effectively approach this topic * 1:03:00 How to create local resources to help women struggling with pornography * 1:05:00 General encouragement for other Relief Society presidencies Links "I am a Young Single Adult Advocate" | An Interview with Rob Ferrell Protection From Pornography—a Christ-Focused Home, by Linda S. Reeves Register for the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit Interview Transcript Kurt: Today I am in a dentist's office, of all places, again for an interview. Thanks to President Ferrell for lining this up. This is his office. But I am going to chat with four fantastic women. Let's just have you introduce yourselves briefly to put you into context. We'll start with Whitney because you were the Relief Society president of the stake that we're referencing. Whitney: My name is Whitney Woodruff. It's been a couple of years since this all took place, but I had the opportunity to serve as a Stake Relief Society President. And I will never forget the day I was extended the call from President Ferrell and the overwhelming...He had I guess a little background. He had forewarned me that a couple of months before. I was serving as a Ward Relief president and he had put me in a PPI and we were talking, and it said, "What are your thoughts about this idea?" And I was like, whoever that happens to,

Spencer Cox is currently serving as Utah's Lieutenant Governor and running for Governor of Utah. He served as a bishop while also serving as the mayor of the town of Fairview, Utah, and currently has a calling as Primary music leader. In this interview, Kurt and Spencer discuss serving in those positions and why serving in the community matters. Highlights 04:30 Deciding to run for office; creating the RV they are using to visit cities across Utah 08:20 Where his spark of interest in politics came from 11:20 Served as a bishop while also serving as mayor of Fairview 13:45 The most challenging part of doing both 16:15 Delegating to his auxiliary leaders and choosing to focus on the youth 20:10 Putting away the list of tasks as bishop; listening for what you need to hear and not just what others are saying 27:45 Serving as Primary music leader while serving as Lt. Governor 33:30 Ben Sasse’s books, Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal, and The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis--and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance 40:00 How the concepts in these books changed his outlook on service 44:30 Obedience out of duty is exhausting and obedience from love is energizing 47:30 The Fairview dance hall, the community, and the Payson salmon supper 51:00 Why should a leader choose to serve in politics? 55:15 How serving in the Church trains leaders Links Cox & Friends podcast Twitter: @SpencerJCox LDS Primary Choristers Facebook group Books mentioned: Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, by Doris Kearns Goodwin Them: Why We Hate Each Other--and How to Heal, by Senator Ben Sasse The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis--and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self-Reliance, by Senator Ben Sasse Bowling Alone, by Robert B. Putnam

David Ostler is a former bishop, stake president and mission president (Freetown, Sierra Leone). Now retired, he has a professional business background focused on executive management of bioinformatics and evidence-based medicine. A lifelong member of the Church, Brother Ostler was raised in Utah, served a mission in Japan, and received undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Utah and Dartmouth College respectively. He and Sister Ostler, who reside in the Washington, D.C. area, are the parents of six children. Brother Ostler has been a previous guest on Leading Saints and has participated in the Leading Saints virtual summit on the subject of “Questioning Saints.” He is the author of the 2019 book Bridges: Ministering to Those Who Question. The book is the result of research, interviews, and surveys involving former Church members or those not presently attending. Highlights 06:50 A one-size-fits-all approach to gospel learning is ineffective. Reasons people stop attending vary. 09:50 Approach to surveying and writing on this subject discussed. It was vital to keep himself open to thinking about the issue in a different way. 11:50 His intent was to listen and better understand the issue. Existing books did seem to help current, believing members (e.g. parents, leaders) understand the issue. 13:40 Reworking the pronouns: It’s about “us”—we are all in this together, regardless of present activity status. It should not be “us versus them.” Nearly everyone has been confronted with difficult questions. 15:40 How can leaders sound more inviting? Using the right language. Labels reduce people to a “them.” The term “apostate” generally means an enemy, and that does not fit most people who have left the Church. They’re not necessarily “fallen, “anti-Mormon” or “tares.” 19:00 We all struggle in some fashion and are all sinners. Recognizing commonalities. Although we dress shiny at church many may be paddling upstream. Leaders should not fear exhibiting vulnerability. 21:30 We seem to be good about ministering when there’s a health or economic issue, but these other areas are more challenging and require some different skills. 23:50 Many who were surveyed or interviewed expressed gratitude that someone was trying to understand them. Leaders/parents may not have the perfect answers but can listen with empathy. 25:25 People reflect to some degree the era in which they are raised. They may have experienced things differently as to how they view authority, education, minority issues, mental illness, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. Genuinely listen to avoid succumbing to blind spots. 27:55 Societal changes, including the internet, have had an effect. Try to understand. Not all they read on the internet is inaccurate. Many younger people are concerned about financial institutions, school debt, etc. Many don’t see issues as black and white. They’ve been exposed to non-traditional families and non-traditional gender roles. Avoid being overly simplistic in our approach to helping someone. 34:40 Focus on a “pastoral” role as a leader, not simply getting the person back to church. Pray for insight, treating people as individuals and not simply seeking “just the right scripture” to share. 37:40 Crucial conversations. Genuine empathy builds trust. Fear keeps us from listening or leads to the “Us” vs. “them” approach. As a leader, you may say the wrong thing, but is your heart in the right place? 40:35 Dealing with these issues as parents. Don’t let fear pervade our thinking. Doing the right things vs. doing things right. Strive to make gospel study home-centered and church-supported. 45:00 “Gospel Topic” essays. Missionaries need to have read those and not be caught off-guard.

Blake Dalton is a full-time teacher from West Valley City, Utah. He served a full-time mission in Eugene, Oregon. He has served as an elder’s quorum president, a high councilman, executive secretary, and currently serves as the bishop of his ward. Also, be sure to listen to Blake's How I Lead interview. Enter Blake… In April and May of 2016, Freakanomics Radio did a series of episodes on self-improvement. This seemed right up my ally because, as a self-proclaimed “lazy perfectionist,” I am always looking for ways to improve. While listening to these episodes I could not help notice what was being discussed through the filter of serving in Church callings. One episode, in particular, piqued my interest. The episode was titled How to be More Productive. The interview involved two main guests, author Charles Duhigg who wrote the book Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and Laszlo Bock, senior vice president of People Operations at Google. One main aspect of the episode I want to share with you was in relation to a major study that Google conducted called Project Aristotle, You can find more information about that study in the article What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team. Project Aristotle was implemented because Google wanted to discover the best way to build the perfect team. This Project was a topic of discussion in Charles Duhigg’s recent book (referenced above). I could not stop thinking about Ward Councils and presidency meetings while listening to this episode and how some of these concepts could help our attitudes as we participate in those meetings. There were many topics discussed in the episode but the two I want to focus on here relate to our callings: Motivation and Building Teams. Motivation Duhigg explains that our motivation or lack of motivation stems from how much we feel we can control the outcome of any situation. Psychology calls this the Locus of Control (Latin for location of control). There is an internal and external locus of control, meaning that we believe that we are in control of an outcome (internal) or we believe our environment or other people are in control of the outcomes we desire (external). So in short if we feel we can dictate outcomes then we are more motivated to do it. If we feel we have no control in a situation we are more likely to give up or perform at less than full capacity. Think of how this works in our daily lives, starting a new diet for example. We exercise and eat right and don’t see any change in our waistline, so we blame genetics, lack of willpower or the holidays for our inability to lose weight… and then we give up. This would be an example of an external locus of control. I think it's safe to say that most of us would rather be in control of our own outcomes rather than waiting and relying on others to accomplish them for us. However, gaining an external locus of control can become a habit. Just look at the child who is told to clean their room and sits on the floor waiting to be told how to clean it, or for a frustrated parent to come in and clean it for them. Or the ministering companion who never sets the appointment or hopes that his companion forgets about ministering all together. While gaining an external locus of control can be habit-forming and a bad one at that, building an internal locus of control can be habit-forming as well. Perhaps Elder David A.

In this podcast, Kurt and his wife, Alanna, talk with Melanie Meszaros, Celeste Jensen, and Michelle Miner from the team hosting the upcoming The Heart of a Woman retreat. Melanie was raised in Ogden Utah, the youngest of six children. She attended Brigham Young University, earned a Master’s Degree in Education, and served in the Vienna, Austria mission. She and her husband have four children and eight grandchildren. Melanie has served in Primary, Young Women’s, and Relief Society presidencies, as Stake Relief Society President, and as a Bishop’s wife. Celeste is Melanie’s daughter and lives in Hooper, Utah. She has served many years in the Young Women’s program and now serves in Primary. Michelle was born and raised in Southern California, the youngest of four. She has served in Young Women's, Relief Society, as a Gospel Doctrine teacher, and a Bishop’s wife. She has eight children and five grandchildren. The next The Heart of a Woman Retreat will be February 20-22, at Big Canyon Ranch, a Christian youth camp in Wanship, Utah (between Coalville and Park City). Everything is comfortable, prepared, and cared for, and participants will have the area to themselves for activities, learning, and reflection. Retreat Details & Registration   Highlights 5:35 About The Heart of a Woman Retreat: an opportunity to have your heart fed, connect with Heavenly Father, restore your vision of who you were created to be, and refresh your soul in the beauty of God’s creations. It is an introspective focus and learning opportunity. As women, we spend so much time focusing on loving God and loving our neighbor, and we forget to love ourselves. 9:45 The state of the heart of a woman in our culture is exhaustion and shame. We are checklist-oriented and are hustling to earn love from God. When we see the flaws and imperfections in each other, we can help each other on this journey. The retreat can serve as a model for Relief Society leaders to follow. 16:45 Michelle’s story: broken after a divorce, felt abandoned, unworthy, unloved. She knew that God could forgive her husband’s betrayal, but didn’t believe He could heal her heart as well. She did not want to feel and was navigating through her life with her intellect because she did not want to feel rejection again. She was able to lean on others and borrow from them and was able to open her heart to believing again that God loved her. 23:45 Melanie was “religid”: A perfectionist following the letter of the law with precision and not seeing the spaces in-between that Heavenly Father sees. She has been able to transition and become about the relationships. 25:20 Perfectionism’s message was that if you obey with exactness, then things work out, but Celeste discovered that things don’t happen that way. She felt that God was disappointed in her and blessings were being withheld because she wasn’t being good enough. Through the retreat, she learned that she doesn’t have to hustle for God’s love, that she was blinded to the messages God was trying to give her, and that she can turn to him. She is now motivated by his love and accepting of herself instead of coming at life with a checklist mentality. 33:10 Melanie’s introduction to the retreat: she asked God what he felt about her, what he saw in her, and how to hear that. She was able to feel his love, joy, delight, and trust in her, and learn how the Spirit communicates with her. Over time, she has been able to see the gift of this understanding unfolding over time. 40:10 God wants whole women, and when women can give him some space to work...

Anthony Sweat is a “regular Latter-day Saint” who is trying to do his best.  He is a Church Education System educator for his career, has a PhD in Religious Theory, and is a professor of Church History and Doctrine at Brigham Young University.  He is also a writer and speaker.  His Bachelors degree is in fine arts and he is a painter as well. Anthony's latest book is “Seekers Wanted”.  This is not a book to tell people what to think or to provide answers, but rather “how” to think, how to approach history, concepts and doctrine.  The purpose of the book is to help people learn skills to answer questions. “We should seek learning by study, but we need to not overlook seeking learning by faith”.  The focus of this podcast is related specifically to ambiguity. Highlights 10:30 Embracing Ambiguity: the Lord can make things very clear.  “Joseph Smith was given a one-point plan and received little by little”.  God didn’t lay everything out for him; we are continuing to develop.  He was required to “move forward with faith” and receive little by little as the restoration happened. 15:20 How can we be the “one true church” but still have ambiguity?  The Church is “true” is more likely the Church is “authorized” for things that it does; it doesn’t mean perfection.  Section 1 of the D&C states it is a “true church” but at that time still no temple endowments, no Relief Society, etc.  We need to recognize that the Church has authority to receive guidance from God, but we don’t have anything figured out.  True does not mean complete.  True means it has the authorized keys to operate.  We do have some answers that other churches may not, and vice versa.  We have truths of salvation and exaltation.  We have revealed answers about the purpose of life, eternal families, etc.  We don’t have ALL the answers.  There is a difference between fullness of the gospel, vs the fullness of truth.  We do have the fullness of the gospel, but not all the truth. 21:35 Do we need to have a string of declarations of truth to have a testimony or is there room for ambiguity?  “I am uncertain about certain things, but I trust Jesus”.  It can be just as powerful and meaningful to hear “I trust this” versus “I know this without a doubt”.  It is less about being certain but more about the trust that comes in a relationship with God.  We may not be certain about everything but can be certain about some things: that God loves us, that Jesus is his son.  This can allow us to be certain about this trust relationship. 24:00 Definition of dogma.  We should beware of it.  Implies we are overly declarative of things that might have other possibilities.  Means we are unwilling to consider alternatives.  It is not a friend of faith or growth. 28:35 How do we begin to become comfortable with ambiguity?  Recognize it is there. "Be firm on the knowns and what God has revealed but be flexible on the unknowns." Avoid "overclaiming"; we shouldn't be overly declarative on what we know. 34:35 Be comfortable saying “I don’t know”.  If there are things we don't know, it doesn't mean we should avoid those things.  We need to seek. 36:55 As I leader, I feel the need to be seen as knowing all the answers.  We shouldn't say things or claim things we shouldn't.  We need to be humble and that it's okay to say "I don't know". 39:40 What is the grounding of my faith? Identifying non-negotiables.  There are things we know and we need to identify them.  Examples: Jesus ministered to people in the Book of Mormon.  Joseph translated the Book of Mormon. Is there a failproof way to guard against false non-negotiables?  "If this doesn't hold true does that mean the faith collapses?" One false non-negotiable: a prophet can't be wrong; history and scripture show that prophets can make mistakes

In this podcast, Kurt interviews two women with the unofficial leadership calling of Bishop’s Wife. Sister Jordan Brown First he speaks with Jordan Brown, who lives in Spanish Fork, Utah, where her husband has been the bishop of their ward for two years. Highlights 4:25 The circumstances surrounding her husband Brian’s calling as Bishop 9:45 The makeup of their ward 11:35 Leadership Principles: Communication as a couple: it first stopped being as intimate until they decided to focus on talking about his feelings so that he could process them better and she could support him without knowing the causes of those feelings 20:20 Look for the kind eyes: so many people are watching and it’s easy to personalize comments because you are now the bishop’s family, and this can become very negative inside your head. But when you look for the kind, positive eyes instead of the critical, judgemental eyes, you will find them. 25:35 Let yourself serve as the Bishop’s Wife: ask in your prayers to find the opportunities to serve others 27:55 Being the bishop’s wife has given her many opportunities to be intentional about keeping her covenants 31:45 Kid hack: “Sunday Centers” set up four rotationg, 15- to 30-minute stations for quiet activities such as reading, talk with Mom, work on Faith in God, making something with legos, and making a treat 34:55 Living her covenants has become more intentional and less like going through the motions, bringing her closer to Christ Sister Amanda Fristrom Amanda Fristrom and her family live in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, where her husband has been bishop for one year. Highlights 37:00 Her background and how her family ended up in Dubai, UAE 39:00 Life in Dubai 39:55 Being a member of the Church in Dubai: every ward is diverse, dynamic, and inclusive 41:55 The circumstances surrounding her husband’s calling as bishop 43:00 Give yourself time to transition into the position of bishop’s wife: identifying as “the wife of” 44:40 UVU professor Susan Madsen’s article about how women need to be kind to themselves and do what they want to do where they are 47:50 The Sabbath is the day she most has to deal with the position of “the wife of”, and looking to feel love for others gets her out of a negative mindset and into a service mindset 49:25 If the bishop is the shepherd, the bishop’s wife is the first follower 51:00 Bring the Spirit back into a conversation by bearing testimony of the Savior 53:20 Debriefing the former bishop’s wife (and others): listen to their advice 54:15 You can help develop a vision with your husband and others, and help support him and the ward 56:05 Singling out the one: pray about individuals and get creative at finding opportunities to serve them, even when you don’t know why 58:00 Setting an example for the ward 59:35 Working through depression and anxiety and the accompanying loss of the Spirit: stay the course 1:01:50 Use everyone in the ward: Asking others to serve you is a powerful way for them to be able to serve you, as well as for you to be served, and the blessings are reciprocal 1:05:30 The Lord has entrusted you with a lot, but He never intended for you to do it yourself 1:07:00 Getting to know the Savior has led to a greater understanding that all pain and difficulties are encompassed in the Atonement, and this has been a growth opportunity for their entire family Links How I Lead as the Bishop’s Wife | An Interview with Alanna Francom

Matthew Dicks is an author, columnist, teacher, storyteller, podcaster, blogger, playwright, and more. He is the co-founder and creative director of Speak Up, a storytelling organization that produces shows throughout New England as well as a weekly podcast, and the author of Storyworthy. Matthew is a 40-time Moth StorySLAM champion and 6-time GrandSLAM champion and has told stories for a wide range of events, radio shows, and performance venues. He lives in Connecticut with his wife, Elysha, and their two children. Highlights 7:26: With his wife runs an organization called “Speak Up” which puts on storytelling events 8:13: The science of telling a good story, i.e., public speaking in an engaging way 10:15: Basic storytelling principles: * Know what a story is: a moment in your life that is transformational and reflects change over time, as opposed to a simple retelling of chronological events. * Ask yourself: Am I speaking about a moment in my life that changed me in some way? You can’t really change your audience with a story unless that story changed you. * Share something of yourself, that makes you authentic and vulnerable. Being vulnerable to others also makes you safe to others, and they will be more willing to be vulnerable with you. * Set out to have your listeners feel like they connected with you in the end. * Showing emotion is acceptable so long as you can speak your truth in a clear way. 21:10: Teaching from scripture versus sharing of yourself * It is hard for people to care about the scriptural content or lesson unless they can see a relatable example of application from a person they trust. 24:26: Using our own stories versus using “borrowed” stories, e.g., using a story given in General Conference in a sacrament meeting talk. * Telling your own story is the best way to be authentic. 26:50: Improving our storytelling: * “Homework for life”: Before going to bed, ask yourself “what’s the most story-worthy moment of today?” Write it down. Explore why and how the experience changed you. * Matt has noticed that he has changed every day of his life, as documented in his “Homework for life” spreadsheet. * Frame of the story is most important: what is the end, and what is the beginning? * Must have some entertainment value. * Jump right into the story. Stay within the story. * Remember the story without memorizing--rehearse! Tell the story in “scenes”. * How to tell a story “on the spot”: what does something mean to me? Listeners should know how you are different at the end of the story from the beginning. * Asking “why?” five times about your storyworthy moments. I.e.: Today I was changed by X experience. Why did X experience change me? Why A? Because B. But, why B? Because C. Why C? Because D. Etc. 55:21: Storytime! 65:49: Reviewing and deconstructing the story 72:25: How storytelling has helped him become a better person Links matthewdicks.com Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling TED Talk: Homework for Life

Wendy Ulrich is a psychologist, educator, and writer. She holds a PhD in education and psychology from the University of Michigan and an MBA from the University of California, Los Angeles. A former guest on the podcast, Wendy is the founder of Sixteen Stones Center for Growth, has been a practicing psychologist for over 25 years, a former president of the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists, and a visiting professor at Brigham Young University. She and her husband Dave Ulrich presided over the Canada Montreal Mission and also co-authored the Wall Street Journal #1 business bestseller, The Why of Work: How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations that Win. Her most recent book is Live up to Our Privileges: Women, Power, and Priesthood. Wendy and Dave have three children and eight grandchildren. Highlights 00:48 - Wendy’s background - psychologist 01:21 - Her new book discusses “What does it really mean for women to have priesthood power”? How do we get it in our lives and use it effectively? 03:49 - How can leaders better understand the experience of women in the Church? What can Wendy share about the female experience of feeling dismissed at church? 04:47 - The work of women is often invisible and misunderstood. 05:05 - Women and men have different styles of communication. Women may find being talked over (a male communication pattern) to be dismissive. 06:21 - Women can feel dismissed by the structure of the Church or even the text of the scriptures 07:02 - The book is structured after the organization of priesthood offices. Why? 07:44 - The work of women is also captured in the work of priesthood offices. 08:39 - In many cases women do more of the work of priesthood offices during the natural course of their lives than men. 09:12 - Christ was not a priest. He did not hold the priesthood of his day. 09:50 - Women who may not see themselves as holding priesthood may find something to learn from the Savior’s example and authority. 10:39 - Women can say I am doing what I’m doing because of the authority I’ve been given in my calling, my temple endowment, my home, my assignments … I have been given authority. 11:17 - We sometimes project secular perspectives on women and the priesthood and fairness. What can we understand about this topic? 12:49 - We are not going to be the same or have the same opportunities. 13:33 - Wendy believes Church doctrine emphasizes the reason we are here on this earth is to become empowered with the power that God has. We believe the most important thing God is trying to do is to create eternal relationships. 14:45 - What women do and goes unseen may be just as important as what men do in the eternal scheme of things. Even in secular society family is essential, and women are the key “resource” for keeping society functioning 17:17 - The Lord’s priority is raising the next generation of gods. 17:20 - We think God is someone who gives power away. We believe he wants to empower us to be joint heirs—to give us all He has. 18:59 - At times it does seem like some roles are inflated. Kurt shares his experience while all three of his brothers were serving as bishops and the difference in attention his sister received, who was serving as a Primary President at the time. As we consider this, women will have less of that experience of being dismissed. 20:40 - Chapter 8: Governing with Power and Compassion. How to rise to power in organizations. 22:00 - Kachner’s research shows how people get into power, but once they get into power people actually lose the skills that got them there. They become more self-serving, less empathic. They are less likely to listen to others, less able to read other’s emotional states.

We are instructed in Handbook 2 (7.1.2) that "The primary purposes of quorums are to serve others, build unity and brotherhood, and instruct members in doctrines, principles, and duties." How effective is your quorum at succeeding in this purpose? Is the more that can be done to leverage the inspired quorum structure that has been restored in these latter days?  The reality is, men live lives of quiet desperation even while attending elders quorum once a week. They attend elders quorum with the hope of brotherhood, unity, and a restoration of their heart. Every man is striving to answer one question, "do I have what it takes?" They wonder if they have what it takes to support a family, keep their job, overcome addiction, maintain their worthiness. They know the restored gospel can help them answer that question but they don't know where to find the answer. In this episode, Kurt Francom discusses some points to consider related to the heart of men and how the adversary is winning the heart of many men in ways we may not expect. There is great opportunity to build brotherhood in our quorum in order to give more purpose in the lives of those who attend. Kurt also discusses the powerful experience he and others have had by attending a Wild at Heart Boot Camp and how it can help establish an effective model for increasing elders quorum brotherhood and unity. Next Boot Camp Details & Registration   Summary * The typical elders quorum (1:40) * What would you change about elders quorum? * What is the purpose of a quorum? * Handbook 2 - 7.1.2  (6:15) * "The primary purposes of quorums are to serve others, build unity and brotherhood, and instruct members in doctrines, principles, and duties." * President Kimball said, "We often do vigorous enlistment work to get members to come to church but then do not adequately watch over what they receive when they do come." * A Quorum of Strangers: On the isolation of Mormon Men, by Sheldon Lawrence (11:30) * "A recent article in the Atlantic points out that men, especially middle-aged white men, are increasingly dying from lives lived in isolation and addiction. I would like to believe that Mormon men somehow buck this trend. After all, aren’t we part of a tight-knit community capable of self-organizing in a moment’s notice? Just hand us a natural disaster and we’ll show up with rakes and shovels. But despite the Church’s obvious strength in organizing labor, it’s my observation that Mormon men lead surprisingly isolated and lonely lives. " * "The substance of a diligent man is precious." Prov. 12:27 * What is the biggest threat to men in our current day? (14:15) * The hearts of men are under attack (16:25) * "The devil has sought to lay a cunning plan, that he may destroy this work" Doctrine & Covenants 10:12 * How the adversary works * "Yea, he stirreth up [our] hearts" Doctrine & Covenants10:24 * "And thus he flattereth them, and leadeth them along until he draggeth their souls down to hell; and thus he causeth them to catch themselves in [our] own snare." Doctrine & Covenants 10:26 * Wild at Heart Boot Camp (21:05) * Principles based on the Wild at Heart book * A battle to fight * An adventure to live * A beauty to rescue * Wild at Heart Boot Camp Story Continued (27:45) * Real life experiences * Chris (33:10) * Steve (47:40) * James (from California) (53:45) * James (from Utah) (59:05) * Orin (1:06:25) * Conclusion (1:11:25) Links