Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne. Staci Sprout is a Licensed Psychotherapist, author and publisher. With 20 years of experience as a therapist and social worker in a variety of settings from community mental health in hospitals to private clinical practice. Staci is also a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, that is CSAT. Since 2006, she has dedicated her practice to helping individuals, groups, and couples in recovery from sex and relationship addictions. She conducts trainings on sexual ethics for professionals and is an experienced retreat and conference speaker sharing the story of her recovery from childhood trauma and multiple addictions. She lives near Seattle, Washington with her husband, who is also in recovery. Anne: Welcome, Staci. Staci: Thank you, Anne, glad to be here. How Domestic Violence Involves Various Types Of Abuse Anne:   Staci, you published a book in which you self-identify as a recovered female sex addict, among other addictions. Yet, in your memoir, you also share your experience of being betrayed by two different sex addicts you were in relationships with, one after another. Do you also identify as a betrayed partner? Staci: Yes, I do. I am a survivor of betrayal, absolutely. Although, the focus of my book was on educating people about sex addiction and what that can look like, and how it can connect to childhood trauma. There’s lots of overlap of other kinds of experiences, including as an older person meeting, and falling in love and being betrayed by two different men. There’s more in the book. But the emotional infidelity of one that I was engaged to, at the time, was terribly wounding for me. I didn’t understand what was wrong, really. We went to two different couple’s therapists to try to get help for what I now call emotional domestic violence through his infidelity. It was unclear if it was a physical infidelity. It was absolutely clear it was, at least, an emotional infidelity, but, at the time, I was too dependent on him to leave. I just couldn’t imagine life without him. How Does Domestic Abuse Relate To Trauma Eventually, he broke up with me, which was a great gift he gave me at that time. Then, I wrote also that another man’s sexual infidelity, which was incredibly painful. Thankfully, by that time, I was in a different place. I was able to be more independent on my own. I was able to end the relationship. Some couples choose to stay together, or they choose to reconcile, as long as both people can agree on the offense of the infidelity, the lies, and the other wounds caused by the betrayal. As long as the offender is willing to change the behavior and repair the damage they have caused. In my original relationship there was just no identification of the offense. I was just called too sensitive, or overreactive. Neither therapist could see it. If people can recognize it and want to repair, it’s not easy. I’m happy to report that in my work, as a therapist, helping couples reconcile successfully is one of the most wonderful and rewarding parts of the work I get to do. Anne: With your experience with those therapists who were not able to identify what was happening, did you feel betrayed by them, as well? Staci: At the time, I felt angry. I felt enraged, but because they were in an expert position and I was in a struggling couple,

Ask Me Anything with our own Coach Gaelyn! Pick the brain of this amazing women as she shares what has been the hardest parts of her process and even some of the blessings in disguise.

Receiving A Restitution Letter I received a restitution letter from my ex-husband in the mail last week. I’ve been pondering and thinking about this. In the meantime, my church had their semi-annual conference. I was praying to know God’s will for me and to hear his voice and to know how I should talk about this. In conference, they talked about a drunk driver who had killed a wife and a husband. In that story of forgiveness, they were at the courthouse and saw the mother and father of the drunk driver and they all broke down in tears and gave each other hugs. It was a beautiful moment of forgiveness. That is a beautiful story, and I really loved that story. Also, that doesn’t happen very often in this situation because the offense is not very clear to people. It’s clear to us. It’s clear to me. I’m sure it’s clear to you, but, to our in-laws, it’s not very clear. They can’t see the abuse for what it is, and they can’t see the infidelity for what it is. It’s not very clear to clergy. It’s not clear to therapists. What Does It Mean To Forgive? What Does It Mean To Make Restitution? The idea of forgiveness is difficult in a situation of abuse because the offense cannot be agreed upon much of the time. The person is denying it or acting like it’s our fault. That story would be very different if the parents of the drunk driver claimed that, “No, your son and your daughter, the ones that were killed, they were drunk. It’s their fault that now our son is in jail. It’s their fault that our son was drinking. It’s their fault that this accident happened.” That would be a very difficult situation. I’m not saying that forgiveness is not also the answer for that situation, but that drunk driver was held accountable by the law. He was held accountable by his own parents and by society. That’s not happening with abusers and porn users. They’re not being held accountable. We, as women, our job, I feel like, is to muster the strength from God to hold them accountable in the way that we can. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so I study sometimes from the Bible and sometimes from the Book of Mormon. Forgiveness Can Exist With Boundaries - People Who Will Not Make True Restitution Are Not Safe In the Book of Mormon, there is an ancient prophet named is Nephi. He and his family build a boat. They come from Jerusalem to the American continent around 600 B.C. Nephi has two brothers, Laman and Lemuel, who I would call addicts and abusers. They frequently abuse Nephi. They tie him up, they scream and yell at him. They beat him. They are frequently called to repentance, and they frequently "repent." They say, “Okay, we’ve changed. We’re sorry, we’ll do the right thing,” and then they don’t. They never really change. Nephi forgives them over and over and over and over. If we stopped here, we might think, “Okay, this is what God wants us to do. He wants us to be like this strong prophet and forgive over and over and over.” Yet, once they make it here to the Americas, as Nephi’s praying about it, he gets the clear answer that he needs to get away from them. He gathers up his family and he actually separates from Laman and Lemuel. That’s when the two groups form, the Nephites and the Lamanites. The Nephites are people of God who obey the commandments and Lamanites are not. Lamanites are angry, they’re always wanting to fight. After this separation,

Myths About Shame & Attachment Disorder In Regard To Pornography Addiction - Why The Shame Craze Is Making Things Worse A recent video on Facebook portrayed an example of how to “not shame the addict,” and, more or less, put the addict in the position of victim. He felt put-upon by clergy or friends or family or his girlfriend, or his spouse for reacting in a way that made him feel uncomfortable, or as he put it, "shaming" him. We know that’s ridiculous. This is a perpetrator of crimes. Someone who has lied and been abusive. Someone who has been unfaithful. If he was really in recovery, he would be concerned about his victims, not himself. He would give his victims space to react whatever way they needed to to heal. An addict in recovery can face the consequences of his actions, meaning he expects people to be angry and upset. He’s ready to have his clergy say, “Hey, this is wrong. What you’ve done is wrong.” When an addict is in victim mode, they don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. They don’t want to hear other people’s anger, or anything that would make them feel bad about themselves. But it’s too late for that. They feel shame for a good reason. They feel shame because they have been lying. They feel shame because they committed adultery or fornication. They feel shame because they are abusive. The Myths Of Shame & Addiction Anne: Gary is the author of Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction, and the presenter of the popular TedX talk, “The Great Porn Experiment,” which has been viewed more than 10 million times and translated into 18 languages. He hosts the website Your Brain on Porn, which was created for those seeking to understand and reverse compulsive porn use. He taught anatomy and physiology for years and has long been interested in the neurochemistry of addiction, mating, and bonding. In 2015, the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health presented Wilson with it’s media award for Outstanding Media Contributions and Public Education on Pornography Addiction. In 2016, Wilson co-authored an academic paper with seven U.S. Navy doctors entitled, Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions: A Review with Critical Reports, and another journal article entitled, Eliminate Chronic Internet Pornography Use to Reveal its Affects. Gary asserts the fact that shame does not cause addiction, that you can tell the truth, that you do not have to enable a perpetrator by treating him like a victim. He is not a victim. In fact, the victims are the victims. The 4 Myths of Shame are: * Shame causes addiction * You need to avoid shaming addicts at all costs * To help an addict heal, don't hold them accountable because it will increase their shame * To help an addict heal, don't tell them the truth about what you think or how you feel because it will cause them shame The Theory Of Shame And Attachment If you're a victim of lies, infidelity or abuse, you need to worry about your own safety, not whether or not you’re hurting your abuser’s feelings. You need to get to safety,

Is recovery ever real? How can we know and how can we keep ourselves safe from the trauma of relapse? Join Coach Gaelyn as she discusses her own experience with betrayal, trauma, hope, and healing in recovery.

Narcissistic abuse is real and it is damaging. Read more about what narcissistic abuse is and why it so harmful to victims who experience it.

Is It Possible That My Husband Is Gay? Imagine waking up one day and having your whole world change in an instant. That is what happened to Tera Brown, wife and mother, after her husband told her he experiences same sex attraction and had recently been acting out with other men. Tera describes her shock, "In one morning the whole paradigm of my world flipped. That was the day I woke up." She states, "I asked myself the question, is my husband gay?" Besides being incredibly difficult to comprehend, spouses who are in similar situations often feel confused, conflicted, and befuddled by the circumstances they find themselves after a disclosure such as this. Tera’s healing journey began eight years ago when she awoke from a lifelong pattern of avoiding and denying her own emotions. It was at an experiential weekend she realized the pattern of numbing and avoiding even the most simple emotion. This led her to focus on assessing and healing her trauma.   Not Sure How to Get Started? This video will help you get started with your Betrayal Trauma Recovery. (function($){ $(document).ready(function() { $('.popup-youtube').magnificPopup({ disableOn: 100, type: 'iframe', mainClass: 'mfp-fade', removalDelay: 160, preloader: false, fixedContentPos: false }); }); })(jQuery); (function($) { $(document).ready(function() { $('.et_pb_video_overlay').click(function() { var iframe = $(this).prev('.et_pb_video_box').find('iframe'); iframe_src = $(iframe).attr('src'), $(iframe).attr('src', iframe_src + '&autoplay=1'); }); }); })(jQuery); Is Being Gay Different Than Having Same Sex Attraction? Because of her life-changing situation, Tera started seeing the need for healing and connection based groups for any and all women who have experienced some type of intimate betrayal in their relationship. "I wanted to have a place where all women could come together in unity to draw strength from each other's unique perspectives," she adds. That's when she, along with a small team of friends, created the La Loba Retreat. During the La Loba Retreats, the 3 main focus points are: * Healing * Strengthening * Connecting Can A Man Married To A Women Self-Identify As Gay? Although her husband does not self-identify as gay, Tera states that plenty of men in these situations do identify as gay. Delving more into this area of identity, Tera adds,

What goes on in the mind of an addict? Do they know the hurt they are causing to so many? More importantly, can they really recover?

http://media.blubrry.com/betrayal_trauma/content.blubrry.com/betrayal_trauma/Determined_to_Rise_2018_mixdown.wav The power of connection is said to be essential in healing. Brene Brown states, "Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued." But how can we connect with others who can understand our struggles? A women's retreat may offer just the solution. Sara Nye, the President of Determined to Rise, a yearly retreat for women suffering from betrayal trauma, states, "What we are trying to create at the retreat is a sense of community and connection and wholeness in a group of women." This years retreat starts September 7, 2018 in Bear Lake, Utah. Connection Is Essential In Healing The activities that will be available at the retreat include archery demonstrated by an all female crew from the Utah Dept. of Forest Service, horseback riding with 30 minutes of instruction so that even people who have never ridden a horse before can feel confident, and Dr. Barras, a chiropractor that teaches fire walking as a way to overcome fear. Other activities include early morning yoga and art journaling, taught my Michelle Adams, in which the focus will be creating vision boards. Anne Blythe, founder of BTR, states, "With recovery there is this dichotomy about taking back our power and also surrendering. Finding safety in connection can help women in this endeavor." Nye states, "The theme for this retreat is "Find Your Fearless."  It's all about overcoming fear and learning how to be human in the midst of fear and how to overcome fear to move on to the next part of life. It is scary to set boundaries and to trust that you can take care of yourself in a safe place and trust that you can find a safe place...or trust that you even know what safety looks like. It's the fear of the unknown. How Does Connection Help In Finding Hope? Blythe goes to describe the partnership in more detail, "One of the reasons Betrayal Trauma Recovery partnered with Determined to Rise is that it is such a fun retreat! I don't know of any other retreat that has the capability of 100 women in one place and there is so much power and strength that comes from a group of women healing together. It's such a positive experience. I felt loved, I felt connected. I made wonderful friends. I laughed a lot and listened to all the shared stories. This was one of my favorite things." "It's great to create this connection because we hear our story through other women and we realize we are not alone. We aren't different. We aren't struggling with something that hasn't been gone through before," says Nye. "A big part of my healing was seeing other women who had been where I was and who have found happiness and safety and peace." Register for

Technology is essential to our society. Safe and healthy practices are vital to the health of our community. But where does technology meet safety? And what can be done to empower children in their use of technology? Heather Cowan, director for White Ribbon Week, states, "Kids are very media savvy and because of this they also must be resilient and confident in their online use." So what can be done to teach this? According to Kids Matter, 95% of 8 to 11 year olds accessed the internet in the last four weeks. Statistics show they are finding their way online and its important they learn tools to keep themselves and others safe. Cowan states that in promoting healthy online behavior, "we never get any push back or flak from parents." It seems like a win-win. So what exactly are the challenges?  Not Sure How to Get Started? This video will help you get started with your Betrayal Trauma Recovery. (function($){ $(document).ready(function() { $('.popup-youtube').magnificPopup({ disableOn: 100, type: 'iframe', mainClass: 'mfp-fade', removalDelay: 160, preloader: false, fixedContentPos: false }); }); })(jQuery); (function($) { $(document).ready(function() { $('.et_pb_video_overlay').click(function() { var iframe = $(this).prev('.et_pb_video_box').find('iframe'); iframe_src = $(iframe).attr('src'), $(iframe).attr('src', iframe_src + '&autoplay=1'); }); }); })(jQuery); Sometimes the topic of internet safety can be one that people may not understand. Why is it needed and how can it be effective? Cowan describes the White Ribbon Program as having "themes that range from brain power--where we talk about protecting our brains--to "let's get real" where we talk about real communication and real positive interactions with each other instead of online."  "It helps them understand the 'why' and not just the 'no.' Many times kids will turn something off or turn away to appease a parent but we want our kids more resilient than this so we want them to understand--to have the filter in the kids--where . We also are pro-technology. We teach kindness online." Anne Blythe, founder of BTR, states, "White Ribbon Week is vital. We know many women whose partners have been involved in pornography and are exhibiting abusive behaviors so our listeners are passionate about protecting their child...

You've heard of the women warriors in the news lately. We have women standing up against abuse, de-stigmatizing victimization, and claiming their strength. But what is the pyschology behind building a strong woman? And why does our culture still misunderstand strong women? Allyson Peterson, an advocate for women, states that women "finding their voice and being able to use it" is the first step in cultivating strength. Therapists agree that the concept of finding voice is essential to mental well-being, particularly for women, who are often silenced in both covert and overt ways by society or culture. Peterson helps women find their voices to speak out against abuse. She has a black belt in traditional Taekwondo and teaches women's self defense classes. As a much smaller woman in stature only, she understands the struggle for personal space and the need for all women's voices to be heard and respected. Just how does a woman find her voice? Peterson describes that the realization must "come down to not wanting to be a target any longer." She adds, "being blunt is your friend. Being absolutely open and honest and real." Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, states, "the process of finding our voices takes time and effort." There may not be a clear cut path to becoming a strong woman with a voice, but there are common components in this process. Strong Women Have A Voice Of Their Own Three components to finding voice: * Developing clear boundaries, * Practicing assertiveness * Letting go of stigma to embrace strength Predators prey upon those who seem vulnerable. Recently, a prison worker described the psychology of predation, "IIf women knew the power they have by just making eye contact--which says you aren't going to put up with it--these men want an easy target; someone who isn't going to scream. Even a tone of voice can change their mind, and it can often stop them. That right there is power." But there is an undeniable component of confidence and self-assurity. Peterson states, "Do not think you are powerless as a woman, because you aren't." Women must first see and believe that they have innate power that can be channeled and cultivated to grow inner strength which effects choices and actions. Anne describes the misunderstanding that is enveloped within our culture, "The entitlement that men have that they can ignore a women's voice if it not something they agree with shows the heart of the issue. They can keep pressing boundaries and they still expect women to react to those violations as friendly, happy people." Why Assertiveness Is Essential For A Strong Woman "Assertiveness is essential. We have been conditioned to think it is not a desirable trait. We need to change that," states Anne, "Women have the right to tell any man 'no' and that should be respected." Still, women face harassment everyday in the world. A recent survey, conducted by Stop Street Harassment, estimates that around 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment. Peterson states, "I think the most intimidating thing ever is to be facing your harasser and have the presence of mind to know exac...

You've heard about the me too movement. Now, there is the church too movement. But is abuse an institutional problem? What can be done to make churches safe for the most vulnerable? One church member states, "In 35 years of regular church attendance, I have never been exposed to any ethics training on abuse. I've always felt this was institutional denial and it is almost universal. But I have learned that there are good, well-developed materials available to combat this problem." Our culture and society have brought the #MeToo movement. Along those lines we hear about Penn State University, Michigan State University and the gymnasts with Larry Nassar--it's not only sometimes personal denial and family systems denial, but it can actually also be institutional denial.  The statistics are alarming, with at least 2 out of every 10 girls and 1 out of 10 boys are estimated to be sexually abused before their 14th birthday (Child Molestation Prevention Institute). This shows the need for personal safety being taught as prevention of child sexual abuse. This can consist of learning boundaries as well as child-friendly language. Kids can learn to say no to unsafe touches in situations by protecting themselves with boundaries to prevent or stop sexual abuse. A prime place to teach this is in our churches because they have ties within the community. Is Sexual Abuse An Institutional Issue? Some church organizations do have policies that are already in place, like two adults need to be in a room with children at all times. It is best when everyone collectively knows the policy in order to ensure accountability and maintain adherence in all situations. But this is just the first step, as additional policies are usually needed to specifically protect children. Kimberly Perry, author of Say No and Tell: Training Grownups in Boundaries and Personal Safety for Kids, states, "We must really implement training into the very DNA and fabric of our church. What are we doing to prevent and get in front of this to help the next generation?" She has recently created a new training manual for adults who serve in clergy and guidance positions. Kimberly explains that her training workbook is "designed for any grownups who are working with children's organizations."  Overall, Perry states, "The training to help the adults working with kids about how to implement it in the organization to make it safer as an environment has been well-received. The positive feedback was very supportive and people were asking for more." How Teaching Personal Safety Combats Sexual Abuse Statistics also show that every 8 minutes, Child Protective Services responds to a sexual abuse report (RAINN). According to the CDC, 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18. Realizing the need for empowering children with self-care skills and personal safety tools is critical for their safety and well-being. As Perry explains, "What I like to tell parents is that the kids and grownups and organizations that learn about boundaries and personal safety can be safer, otherwise everyone is vulnerable. Even though there is great discomfort in pain, by taking the time to learn about preventing child sexual abuse,

Rachel Grant is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a sexual abuse recovery coach. She is also the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery From Sexual Abuse. She works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse who are beyond sick and tired of feeling broken, unfixable, and burdened by the past. She helps them let go of the pain of abuse and finally feel normal. Rachel has a MA in counseling psychology. Anne: Rachel, how did you arrive where you are now to specialize in sexual abuse recovery coaching? Not Sure How to Get Started? This video will help you get started with your Betrayal Trauma Recovery. (function($){ $(document).ready(function() { $('.popup-youtube').magnificPopup({ disableOn: 100, type: 'iframe', mainClass: 'mfp-fade', removalDelay: 160, preloader: false, fixedContentPos: false }); }); })(jQuery); (function($) { $(document).ready(function() { $('.et_pb_video_overlay').click(function() { var iframe = $(this).prev('.et_pb_video_box').find('iframe'); iframe_src = $(iframe).attr('src'), $(iframe).attr('src', iframe_src + '&autoplay=1'); }); }); })(jQuery); Rachel: In my personal journey, I was sexually abused by my grandfather when I was 10 years old. From that moment of this trauma starting, life began to change. It's amazing how immediately life shifts when abuse starts. For quite some time, my grandfather lived in our home. Prior to this, he had been a close friend and companion, someone who I enjoyed spending time with. Then overnight all of this changed. Finding myself immediately in this situation where I'm scared and confused and I didn't understand what was going on--that is really daunting. It went on for quite some time. When my parents discovered what was going on--my mom happened to walk by one day and noticed what he was doing--they immediately got him out of my home, which is something I've always been thankful for because I know, having worked with survivors now for 11 some years, that this isn't always the case. Even though he was out of the house, that didn't really do anything to stop the experiences and thoughts I now was having on a day-to-day basis (I've done something to cause this...I'm bad...I'm broken...I'm unlovable....I'm worthless) Those thoughts remained with me over the next 16 years. They were there during a 10-year abusive relationship. They were there in every moment of feeling suicidal. They were there in my day-to-day walk.

My children are with my ex for right now, and I've been alone and working a lot. I've been really busy. I actually think I might go shop for new clothes today which I haven't done in years--which is making me a bit nervous! At the same time, I'm thinking, "My goodness! I might get a new shirt today!" This is exciting!! While my children have been gone, my mom has come down and helped me. I have amazing parents. They are supportive emotionally and financially. I really need to put a shout out to them, especially my mom who is my biggest fan. There is no way I could do this without her support—emotionally and physically, for she tends my kids. She brings dinner. My mom is a carpenter. She can do electrical work. She fixes my toilets. She came down and helped me assemble a desk and helped put my new office together. Inner Peace and Healing Comes With Time And Work I got exhausted but my mom who is 65 came over and stood on stools to drill holes in the wall for my bookcases so they don't fall over on my kids; I was getting exhausted and she powered through! My mom can do anything! I am so grateful for her and admire her so much. Where my ex-husband used to be my partner in projects, now I still have a partner and it's my mom. And so I can still work on my projects and do the things I love and still have help. She is an angel and I am so grateful for her. My life is infinitely better because of her. I am also grateful for my dad and their financial assistance. I am really, really blessed to have amazing parents. I want to talk about some of things I loved about my ex that I have been thinking about lately. I love projects; I love improving things. I have a really nice home in a nice area, in a suburb north of Salt Lake City, Utah. It's very safe and convenient. My ex and I bought the home together. I love that he is educated. He's a mechanical engineer and also a patent attorney. He's really, really smart with numbers and with problem solving with mechanical situations. I really appreciated that about him. He built a chicken coop that could withstand the apocalypse! I remember watching him work in the yard and seeing how strong he was. He could pick up a railroad tie and drag it around. I was always attracted to him when he was out working in the yard and he had dirt all over his face. Finding Positive Memories Can Help Towards Inner Peace We bought a home together, before we got married (which I don't recommend); there were tons of rocks. We gathered them up and put them in buckets. He would put them in the bottom of the garbage can since it could only handle being about 1/3 full so it wouldn't break. The garbage truck would come and dump it and my ex would put more rocks in and take the can to the other side of the street. This was my idea but he did it willingly. When he was not being abusive he was so willing to help me. He worked from home the last three years of our marriage. I could come home from the grocery store and he would come and help me bring the groceries in. He loved church which is difficult for me now because we attended together. We attended the temple and he is still attending. He hasn't repented. There is a disconnect there. I like that he does love the Church; I just can't figure out how come he can't understand the commandments or obey them...he has the appearance of really, truly loving the Church which I appreciated about him.

Insights From Women Who Participate In Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Summer is really difficult. Many women are trying to push off the pain or white-knuckle through the abuse during the summer because they have awesome vacations planned, they have children at home, they have family coming. We want to focus on providing the best support through the summer. Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group has sessions every single day that are available on your phone. In this podcast, some women want to share how they feel about BTR Group. They stayed after a group one day and recorded their feelings. So today we are going to listen to their experience. Summer Help To Establish Safety Through Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Specifically for this summer where you may be looking at setting boundaries around your husband's abusive behaviors during your vacations, say at Disneyland; or "how do I set a boundary around my husband's abusive behaviors at a family picnic when all of my extended family is there?” Please don't wait until the Fall to start thinking about this and making your way to safety. It takes a while to get to safety so I'm not saying that one session will solve all your problems, obviously, because boundary work takes time and it takes effort. Please start the process now because getting to safety takes time. Now you'll hear three real clients who are currently members of Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, sharing their experiences: Validation Through Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Client 1: I really appreciate how you validated everybody, first by listening to them and then by encouraging them in their own insights and in giving them permission to do and be whatever they needed to be in that moment. I have not experienced this in counseling, though I have been to a lot. It has been a trial and I recognize the uniqueness of it and it's amazing. Not Sure How to Get Started? This video will help you get started with your Betrayal Trauma Recovery. (function($){ $(document).ready(function() { $('.popup-youtube').magnificPopup({ disableOn: 100, type: 'iframe', mainClass: 'mfp-fade', removalDelay: 160, preloader: false, fixedContentPos: false }); }); })(jQuery); (function($) { $(document).ready(function() { $('.et_pb_video_overlay').click(function() { var iframe = $(this).prev('.et_pb_video_box').find('iframe'); iframe_src = $(iframe).attr('src'), $(iframe).attr('src', iframe_src + '&autoplay=1'); }); }); })(jQuery);