Over it and On with it with Christine Hassler

Regret. We've all felt it at some point. Some of you are feeling it right now and you are suffering because of it. Something did or did not happen the way you wanted. You did or didn't do something the way you wished you would have. And you want more than anything to be able to rewind time and get a do-over. You've replayed scenarios over and over in your head thinking of all the things you could have done or said. You're trapped in a shoulda/coulda/woulda perspective and it's a miserable place to be, isn't it? As much as you are aware that regret is a miserable place to hang out in, you cannot seem to be free of it. But I have good news: liberation from regret is 100% possible!! And it is essential to your well-being that you commit to letting go of regret. In this Coaches Corner, I explain how. Listen closely to this episode...or you'll regret it! ;)

Seasons change and so do we. We all have expectations as to how our lives should be, what our family should think of us and how we will feel after making a big change. When we cannot come to terms with the decisions we have made, we experience regret and consequently an Expectation Hangover. But regret is useless and we often beat ourselves up over nothing. We cannot move forward by living in regret. What if instead of suffering from regret, we found peace and experienced connection by reprogramming our unconscious mind to fully accept the decisions we have made? What if instead of dwelling on the past, we fully opened ourselves to receiving all the gifts in the present? In today's call, Jenny is uncertain about her decision to move, in order to be closer to her family. She is having difficulty creating her new life, because she is stuck in her old one. She is also physically sick from the stress. She thinks geography may be a factor, but we discover she may need to stop pushing against the change and allow things to happen. Taking a step back and seeing the impression her indecisiveness is leaving on her children, might be the key that helps Jenny to accept the decisions she has made and to move forward towards creating the story she wants to tell. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a recent decision you made you currently regret? Are you in a situation where you think that changing things is the answer to your problems? Are you feeling physically drained and apathetic? Are you an adventure junkie? Are you a parent and feel it's important to make your child feel safe and secure? Jenny's Question: Jenny is making herself physically sick and tired, because she regrets moving a long distance to be closer to her family and would like to know how to get over it and on with it. Jenny's Key Insights and Aha's: She is living half in Wyoming and half in Wisconsin Her fatigue is a signal from her body Self-judgment is sucking her dry She's stuttering on decisions How to get over it and on with it: Fully accept the reasons for making previous decisions Be fully present wherever you are Begin a spiritual practice such as yoga and/or meditation Create the feeling you are missing Learn to live more inside out and less outside in Embody safety and acceptance Create a community where you are Tools and Takeaways: Write out a list of emotions you want to feel and generate them, reorient yourself from inside out Write out these 3 things: ? The reasons why it was the best decision you could have made, given the information you had ? The reasons why you feel safe and secure ? The reasons why you can trust yourself Collect evidence about the story you want to tell Inspect your health problem to see if it could be a lack of self-love; also check out "Choosing me before we" for in-depth analysis Examine what you are teaching your children, they feel your energy Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler Coaching Corner - Getting Over Regret Choosing ME Before WE - Christine Hassler

Courage. It's a desirable quality to have and an empowering way to be. Our heroes and inspirational leaders are labeled courageous. We are told throughout our life to "be courageous," but that isn't always easy. In fact, courage is often one of the most difficult qualities to truly integrate. Why is being courageous not as easy to embody as the heroes make it look in the movies? There are two main reasons. First, being courageous means being willing to face fear and embrace uncertainty. YIKES! We don't like being scared or not knowing what is ahead. Second, most of us do not truly understand what courage really means. In this coaches corner, Christine shares how to become more courageous and go after the things in life that scare us.

Absolute certainty is rare. If you are waiting to be absolutely certain before making a decision, you may find yourself spinning in confusion. Today's session is with Marie, who believes she is ready to make big changes in her life, but fear and unresolved issues from a recent break-up are keeping her from taking the first step. She is distracting herself by considering multiple changes at once and it's depleting her energy. When we fear something we create roadblocks for ourselves. Roadblocks can be waiting for certainty, attempting to move forward before dealing with issues from the past and talking a lot about what we want, but not taking the first steps to get to it. Marie realizes she may be lingering on open issues from a past relationship. She needs closure before she is able to move forward, but she's unsure of how to get past the breakup. We work through how Marie can use her inner wisdom to remove the residue from the past and pursue her career dreams with a clear mind. When we accept change and allow it to happen, we discover our challenges are leading us somewhere. Read the emotional and mental chapters of the treatment plan in my book, Expectation Hangover, to gain a deeper understanding on grieving and closure. If you want to get unstuck join me on January 8th - 10th for my "for women only" Winter Retreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you waiting to do something until you are completely sure? Are you attempting to make too many decisions at once and not making progress on any of them? Are you a creative person who feels the need to do everything all at once? Are you still wanting something from a previous relationship and are unable to move on until you get it? Marie's Question: Marie feels she is in a rut and wants to make a big move, including getting over her last relationship. She is a motivated person but has a fear of moving forward. Marie's Key Insights and Aha's: She wants to feel certain about something before she moves forward She's trying to do too many things at once She's making a reactive choice and not a proactive one She needs other people's opinions Listening to her intuition will help her move on How to get over it and on with it: Clean up old residue first before moving forward Focus on one thing at a time Own the part you played in the relationship Listen to your intuition Tools and Takeaways: Focus on the problem or the question you don't want to deal with first A closure conversation or letter should include ? What you learned ? What you are grateful for ? What you forgive the other person for ? What you forgive yourself for ? Acknowledge the other person ? A thank you and a goodbye Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler jill@christinehassler.com 2016 Winter Retreat Expectation Hangover

Are you carrying around an unspoken question or assumption about something? Did someone do something or behave in a way that stumped (and possibly hurt) you but you haven't had the guts to ask them about it? Are you being a wee bit wimpy when it comes to speaking your truth? I see so many people suffer under our own assumptions, pretend everything is fine, and take things personally rather than just having the chutzpha to be real, raw and vulnerable with another person. In today's coaches corner I give you tips for mustering up the courage to take action and actually say what you need (and want) to say.

If you have ever dealt with the pain of rejection, this episode will help! Perhaps you've heard, "Rejection is God's Protection" but the process of rejection feels pretty awful until we learn what it is really about. Our caller today, Alex, has courageously opened up to another person and shared her truth with them. But the other person did not reciprocate her feelings. She asks me how she can get over her heartbreak and rejection and get on with her life. If you have ever felt the pain of rejection or find yourself in an avoidance trap, listen to the tips I give Alex at the end of our call. You can also find resources in my book, Expectation Hangover, to help heal yourself. We also talk about speaking our truth - which takes takes courage. We ponder on how our message will be received; but if we believe in our truth, there is value in getting it out into the world. When our truth needs to be told to another person and they don't realize the outcome we are hoping for we often take it personally. We perceive their response as if something is wrong with us or we did something wrong. Our fear of the possible rejection is an avoidance trap. An avoidance trap is spending our time and energy avoiding what we don't want rather than working towards what we do want. By understanding that we consistently attract experiences to help us heal our core wounds, we realize rejection doesn't really exist. It is merely a projection of unowned, unseen qualities inside us. Consider/Ask Yourself: What are you construing perceived rejection to mean about you? What was so attractive about the person or situation you feel didn't choose you? Is there someone you have feelings for but are too scared to tell them? Has something upset you but you don't have the guts to speak your truth? Alex's Question: Alex wants to know how to best handle the heartbreak and rejection she is feeling after telling someone she loves them and finding out the feelings are not mutual. Alex's Key Insights and Aha's: She struggles with feeling as though she didn't fit in while growing up She feels she gave away her power She is learning to read people She realizes she is stronger than she thought she was She doesn't need to look outside herself for her worthiness How to get over it and on with it: Don't look to others to find your own worth Trust your desires and have faith Be kind to yourself during this time Tools and Takeaways: Let go of anger and resentment - Empty out your "negative" emotions in a letter and then rip it up Write a goodbye letter you don't intend to mail that includes: ? I'm saying goodbye because ... ? I learned from you ... ? I thank you for ... ? I forgive myself for ... ? I forgive myself for ... Say what you need to say - Speak to the person even if they are not there Set boundaries with yourself and move on Engage in activities that encourage self-acceptance Do a positive projection exercise Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler

I love the week of Thanksgiving here in the U.S. because gratitude is on everyone's mind. Cultivating a consciousness of gratitude is a spiritual practice - it's a MUST for anyone who is committed to living a life of love. Plus, when we are aware of what we do have, we are a lot less inclined to obsess about all the things we don't (and have fewer expectation hangovers!). Enjoying this special Coaches Corner from me where the focus is on gratitude.

This special episode has two career coaching sessions, the first with Nick and the second with Lindsey. Both Nick and Lindsey are searching for a way to use their passions and to share their gifts with the world. Nick's session focuses on his spirituality and whether or not his current position allows him to elevate the consciousness of others with his law practice. Lindsey's session concentrates on her transitions and her indecisiveness around using her creativity to reach her end goal. Lessons from both calls are that we don't need to leave jobs that are not creative enough; we can be creative and passionate in our current situations. If we honor where we are now by embracing our passions and our spirituality, we will end up spreading light to others. If you yearn to make more of an impact in your work life, drastic changes to satiate your desires are unnecessary and often cause additional discomfort. Increasing our vibrations will make everything we do a more spiritual experience. Coaching Session #1 - Nick While Listening to this Call Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel a calling to make an impact? Are you in a job that does not seem spiritual enough and you feel inclined towards doing something different? Do you feel like you are compromising and paying your dues now in order to gain financial security?Are you actively spreading light where you are or are you waiting for better circumstances? Nick's Question: Nick wants to integrate spirituality into his current life but doesn't want to break his life to fix it. Nick's Key Insights and Aha's:? He may be a light worker in the subtle sense? He doesn't have to change what he's doing to make a difference? He could focus on being and interacting with people How Nick can get over it and on with it: ? Honor his calling to spread light through his existing work? Bring more consciousness into what he is doing? Try deepening his vibration when communicating with others in his work? Try the 25/5 rule of working for 25 minutes and taking 5 to do something you enjoy doing Tools and Takeaways: ? Become dedicated to your spiritual practice in your work? Consider bringing beauty into your work environment ? Ask God on a daily basis to use you and pay attention to opportunities that may arise from it ? Implement practices that reconnect you to your higher power Coaching Session #2 - Lindsey While Listening to this Call Consider/Ask Yourself: ? Do you feel apathetic or stuck in your current career?? Are you craving more creativity and passion in your life?? Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to figure everything out at once? Lindsey's Question:Lindsey is having a hard time figuring out if her job transition was the right thing to do and if she should continue investing in her passion, music. Lindsey's Key Insights and Aha's:? She loves helping children with crafts? She needs more of the creative aspect in her job? She should focus on the next steps and not the end goal How Lindsey can get over it and on with it:? Lindsey could listen to her intuition in order to be more creative? She should honor this phase of her life? Ask her higher power to show her the people and situations she can serve Tools and Takeaways: ? Ask yourself what is the next step, not the end goal ? Honor where you are and allow your passions to unfold? Don't expect a job to make you feel creative or passionate Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler

There seems to be a lot to worry in life that we cannot control everything. But worrying is a HUGE drain of your energy and completely useless so in this Coaches Corner, Christine offers you a way to stop worrying, or at the very least dramatically reduce it. Worry gives us a false sense of control when we are uncertain about someone or something. When faced with the unknown, worrying is often the default habit we slip into as it gives us a way to seemingly deal with whatever our concern is. In today's episode, Christine breaks down worry for you and teaches you a technique that you can start using today to transform from worrywart to dream manifestor!

Our caller today is Sha who is a millennial. Millennials are today's 20 and early 30 somethings. Many millennials are unjustly thought to be narcissistic, entitled and said to have no work ethic. Sha is experiencing residue from having many of her decisions made for her during her adolescence. And it's not just Sha who is confronting these issues; many millennials feel the effects of over-parenting and the accompanying pressures that linger from missing out on important developmental stages. Sha and I uncover her validation issues and examine her inability to stick to a routine. She becomes aware of her past programming and I offer her tools to assist her in reprogramming herself. One important tool is to understand that what she wants to hear from others is what she actually wants to hear from herself. We also explore ways to relieve anxiety and self-trust issues through being in the present. After the coaching session, I offer a special guided meditation; so go to a quiet place where you can close your eyes and get serene with me. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble making decisions? Do you consult multiple people before you make a choice?Is it hard for you to stick with a routine or stay disciplined? Do you have a hard time quieting your mind? Sha's Question: Sha finds it hard to make decisions and is having trouble relaxing. Sha's Key Insights and Aha's:? She was peacocking all the time? She wasn't seeing herself? She may have missed out on fundamental developmental stages? She has difficulty with discipline and routines? She doesn't trust herself How to get over it and on with it: ? Practice telling yourself "be here now" ? Repair yourself by giving yourself the developmental stages you didn't have ? Take actions to support autonomy and decision making? Add some routines to your life ? Start making decisions Tools and Takeaways: ? Validation seekers should write a list of everything they want to hear from others and say these things to themselves? Make a solo decision making challenge? Write out a routine for yourself. Have one commitment every morning and one commitment every evening ? Start a meditation practice Resources: Christine Hassler The Solo-Decision Making Challenge Christine's Meditation Rx CD @christinhassler

In this coaches corner Christine discusses whether or not it's possible to change someone else. Consider: Is there someone in your life you really hope will change? Do you find yourself taking on the responsibility for other people's transformation? Do you even get annoyed when you see someone you care about not living into the potential you see in them? Christine explains why we are tempted to change others and teaches you how to let go of expectations of other people. You will learn that it is not your job or your right to save anyone along with some tips on how you actually can make an impact on the lives of others.

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. My coaching call with Regina today uncovers the challenges she is having with grief over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She's is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life. Regina experiences an "aha" when she realizes she is able to create the positive future she desires. Take note of Regina's tone of voice before my coaching as she describes beating herself up and then again after we discuss her ability to practice self-love. Regina shared her progress with me in an email after our session. She writes "I've started forgiving myself and when I find myself in a negative thought I stop and think "this isn't self-love". It's a reminder to all of us to live, not just exist. Find something you want to live for, even it seems silly and give yourself permission to love. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently been through a loss and can't seem to move on?Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve?Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently?Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again? Regina's Question: Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted. Regina's Key Insights and Aha's:? There is a part of her that doesn't want to "be" anymore? She doesn't believe we get more than one love in our lives? She beats herself up a lot? She knows if she could create a negative story for herself she is capable of creating a positive story too How to get over it and on with it: ? Make a choice to start creating a future which is enlivening? Give yourself permission to live? Speak to yourself like a loving mother would to a child? Write out some promises you will keep to yourself Tools and Takeaways: ? Practice self-love ? Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life? Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover How to Liberate Yourself from Regret Blog @christinhassler Secret Sauce training and mastermind

Hi and welcome back to my over and on with it podcast. I'm recording today from my home state of Texas. I love being here and spending time with my family, especially my two nephews. They live in a realm of never-ending possibilities and abundant curiosity. It's refreshing. Our call today is from Maya. Maya wonders if she should use her proven brute force tactics to manifest her dreams, but she understands it might not be the way to manifest this one. Realizing that the mind doesn't know the difference between a well-imagined thought and reality can help Maya start manifesting her dream right now. If she aligns her vibrations to her desires she will start to make choices which pull her closer to her dream. So, how do we pursue our dreams and not get disappointed? How do we not experience an Expectation Hangover? If we pursue our dreams with high involvement and high intention, but low attachment we are not overly disappointed when our dreams don't manifest in the manner we thought they would. This allows us to follow our dreams without being afraid of being let down. A good example of someone who aligns themselves vibrationally to what they desire is Jill. Jill is the amazing person who coordinates all of my retreats. She has a special place in her heart for Taylor Swift. She loves her. Jill has manifested concert tickets and opportunities to see Taylor Swift because she believes she can, almost as if it's magic. If you would like coaching from me in an upcoming episode, go to christinehassler.com/podcast. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you longing to go down a non-traditional path?What is the first step towards your goal?Is there an experience you would like to have, but not sure how to make it happen?Are you downgrading your dreams because you're afraid to be let down? Maya's Question: Maya has a vision for her life but believes she is going down an uncharted path. She would like to manifest being in the pope's presence. She wonders if she should use brute force to make things happen or should she go with the flow. Maya's Key Insights and Aha's:? She may be attached to certain aspects of her dream ? She should make choices which keep her vibrational alignment? She needs to think about how she would feel in her manifestation How to get over it and on with it: ? Ask your inner knowing what your first step is? Focus on the essence of the manifestation? Visualize yourself experiencing the moment Tools and Takeaways: ? Do positive projection work to create the conditions to get what you want in your world? Record a voice memo of the experience you would like to have and listen to it every day Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler Secret Sauce training and mastermind

In this Coaches Corner episode, Christine guides you through a step-by-step process get over betrayal and on with your life!! Betrayal is one of the human experiences that can be so painful and hard to understand. It hurts when you feel lied to or when someone you thought you could trust shows you something different. When we feel betrayed or like our trust is broken, it's natural to want to hang on to the anger, resentment, blame and "how could she" or "I can't believe he" thoughts. But this keeps us in victim consciousness and only perpetuates our suffering. Listen to learn how to get over it and on with it!

Do you know that every challenge you face presents an amazing opportunity for healing and growth? That is why I am so passionate about Expectation Hangovers - because they are doorways to transformation. We do not want to relate to Expectation Hangovers as victims because it prevents us from leveraging the learnings! Disappointment happens FOR you, not TO you. Expectation Hangovers teach us:1. Control is an illusion2. Our comfort zone is a trap3. True fulfillment comes from inside4. The Universe does not punish us My call with Nadine is about overcoming the Expectation Hangover of a job loss and breakup We explore why we put pressure on ourselves to not make mistakes and how our past is able to influence us even though we may not recognize it. Remember, if you point your compass towards spirituality and honor your feelings, you can use your soul's inner wisdom to learn to love and to heal yourself. The door of opportunity exists for you to heal and transform after you experience an Expectation Hangover. Consider/Ask Yourself: What am I learning?What am I healing? What is my outer experience teaching me about my inner reality?Can I relate to putting a lot of pressure on myself?Do I think there is something I need to do to be loved or worthy? Do I have negative self-talk which perpetuates high expectations of myself? Nadine's Question: In February, Nadine was working her dream job and she had the perfect man. Now four months later, she finds herself in a new job she is not interested in and her man left. Nadine's Key Insights and Aha's:? She may be looking at herself as a home improvement project? She engages in negative self-talk ? She has the same relationship over and over again ? Her childhood is not her fault How to get over it and on with it: ? Ask your inner counselor what am I learning? Ask yourself "in order to be loved I need to" ? What would you say to yourself as a child? ? Take a deep dive into your spiritual practice Tools and Takeaways: ? Spend some time single and fall in love with yourself? Write down "In order to be loved, I need" and then finish the sentence? Talk to your younger self and reassure them ? Practice self-care by nurturing yourself? Allow yourself to feel your own emotions with compassion ? Understand you are not broken and become who you truly want to be Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler Expectation Hangover