Date Smarter, Not Harder!

Sociopaths do not wear a sign or a tag that identifies them as dangerous men, and most sociopaths look completely normal - even friendly and trustworthy. A woman normally finds out her man is a socipath only after she has become involved. When a man pretends to love and knowingly plays manipulative games to control a woman's reality, his behavior makes him a sociopath. What are the traits of a sociopath, and how can a woman identify them in advance and protect herself? Are most men being socialized to be sociopaths when it comes to women? We have the answers to your questions in what is sure to be a shockingly eye opening and controversial conversation. Dr. Fran Walfish is a leading child and family psychotherapist with a stellar list of media credits including The Doctors, CBS and ABC, Parents Magazine, and dozens of others, and 15 years at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Log onto Dr.FranWalfish.Com for more information Donna Andersen is the creator of LoveFraud.Com a website and blog that teaches people how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. She is also the author of a book, Love Fraud--How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Donna learned about sociopaths the hard way--by marrying one. Join the discussion by calling 347-327-9215 or by logging onto Are Young Men Being Raised to Be Sociopaths?

Apparently, dating is a lost art form! Spending time getting to know someone, patiently discovering who and what they are over a period of months seems to be a concept that is foreign to singles in 2011. Men don't want to pay for dates and women allow them to get away with it. In the place of dating is the male-centered hookup - instant physical involvement with false intimacy that uisually leads to heartbreak. Why then are so many females willing to involve themselves in casual encounters or shaky "relationships" with totally inappropriate men? Can women alone turn this dating thing around and change our society and thereby the world?

An engagement ring is a declaration that the woman, by wearing it on her hand, has been reserved for marriage by her future husband. Wearing his ring symbolizes and reminds the wearer of a promise she's made, and also serves as notice to other potential suitors that they need not waste their time on THIS woman. Since the average engagement lasts 18-24 months, an engagement ring is an important element in the whole "we're getting married" phenomenon. Why then do so many Black men resent the expectation that they present their future bride with a ring? Could buying a ring really be a key reason men do not marry?

Minister Louis Farrakhan said it the other day "a virtuous woman is more valuable than silver and gold." So it got me thinking - why do Black men place so much value on a woman's virtue, chastity, lack of sexual history or knowledge? They hate it if she has experience, other lovers, other men's children. Yet they hold themselves to no such such judgments or standards.  These attitudes about women are passed down from generation to generation of Black men, so that a woman's perceived value remains generalized and measured almost exclusively by what has gone on with her body - with very little consideration to her mind or other qualities. So let's talk about it as we start off the fall season of the show with a bang! Call 347-327-9215 so participate in the live discussion.

Discussion of the recent spate of women in the news that are accused of cutting off the genitals of their husbands. The news reports share the arrest information, but what we want to know is "what would motivate a woman to behave in such drastic behaviors towards her husband?"

Low desire is a common complaint of couples that report to have an otherwise wonderful relationship. What are some of the reasons that not wanting to have sex is a permanent  state of being for many single adult men and women? We will also discuss how childhood secrets, freaky fetishes, medical conditions and unusual sexual fantasies might also contribute to a lack of desire.   Join us for our last show of the season (returning September 2011) as we discuss the reasons so many singles have absolutely no interest in sex at all. The call in number is 347-327-9215!

Women often hear that men are concerned with a woman's fertility and her ability to bear children, while excusing themselves from such limits due to men's ability to produce sperm well into their senior years. Both men and women have thus ignored scientific proof that men have an upper limit on their healthy reproductive years just like women do. Tonight we'll also discuss male birth control options vs. female responsibility for it, why older men eschew condoms and how that is affecting HIV/AIDS rates amongst seniors, and the reasons women should pay attention to the age of their mate and the impact aging sperm has in producing children with birth defects, autism and mental illness. Older men have other issues that women should be concerned with as well which is why I advocate that women be with younger men. Join us as we discuss the aging male, reproduction, birth control for men and other mating conflicts. The call in number is 347-327-9215.

For the past few years Black women and their singleness have been placed front and center in dozens of mainstream media outlets. From the NY Times and Washington Post newspapers, to CNN and Nightline - White people in the U.S. are fascinated with the concept that something is wrong with Black women because so many of them are single. But what about Black men? The percentage of Black men that are single is neck and neck with that of Black women. And if its true that Black women are looking for husbands and want to marry, why are there so many unmarried Black men then? On this, our last show of "Hot Shows of May," we'll look at possible reasons with our usual critical eye and delve into the social issues and politics that shift the focus from Black men and their singleness, which is where the spotlight belongs.

Due to patriarchy all men are exactly the same. Some might be slightly more human and less broken and damaged than others. But this fact means that there is no such thing as a "good man." Men are all the same in their attitudes towards women, though some are less severe than others. So the "nice guy," ... the good guy... are all male fabricated myths that women keep alive to maintain hope of finding a man worthy of marriage and partnership should be eliminated. The myth of the good man and nice guy needs to die. There are no good men, just some men who decided not to lord their maleness and masculinity over women. However, all men hold the views and values that having an education and a job with benefits is enough to make a woman pick him over other men. This focus on materialism makes men believe that all women can be bought with a price or that women are gold diggers. In reality, these beliefs are exhibitions of male supremacy and sexism.  Do you agree? Call in to share your views with our special guest, womanist blogger Lucretia Pierce at 347-327-9215.  

As black women continue to rise in educational and professional accomplishments, they must battle the negative, destructive stereotypes portrayed in the media. What drives these myths and misconceptions? Why are black women portrayed as always strong, never vulnerable. Why do black women believe they can't have the "American Dream" that women of other races expect as a matter of course - a successful career, a devoted husband, and a family? Why are so many accomplished, professional black women suffering from depression, stress-related illnesses and loneliness? Sophia A. Nelson is a respected national columnist and political/social commentator for CNN, FOX News, MSNBC, NPR, BET, BBC, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Essence and Huffington Post and dozens of other top tier media outlets. She is also the author of an exciting new book: Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama. Sophia stops by The Date Smarter Not Harder Show to discuss her well-researched and important book which delves into the challenges faced by the 21st century black woman, and what she can do to come out on top! The studio call-in number is 347-327-9215 - please join us.

Around the world men think they are really putting it down on women when in reality, men's lack of skills in the bedroom make women roll their eyes in frustration and avoid having sex. How can men be completely and utterly ignorant about what their women need physically to be sexually satisfied? Why are so many men stubbornly refusing to listen to their partners or to learn how to please her? On this show hundreds of women will share what they want from men mentally, emotionally and physically to help men learn how to stimulate their female partners. Become a memorable lover! Discover how you can have women daydreaming about what you did in bed the night before, and lustfully panting after you instead of bored out of their minds and angry. Call 347-327-9215 to participate in the broadcast. Log onto SurvivingDating.Com for other great information on kissing, lovemaking, dating and relationships!

Black men are big fans of the Biblical principle of female submission. However, they conveniently leave out the portion of the scripture that requires they humble and submit themselves to God and that they be married first. Why is it that a female being "submissive" to them is so important to Black men? What is behind the push to make Black women feel guilty for being assertive and demanding in her relationships? And why is it that so many Black women are willing to dumb down their intelligence and turn over their power to men that are nowhere near on their level, just to have a relationship or be married?   Could it really be true that Black women are "too" independent as Mo'Nique says? If a woman is submissive, does that relationship really have a greater chance at longevity and happiness than one where the partners are respectful equals? Please join us on Sunday, April 24, 2011 to discuss the whole female submission thing as it affects the Black community. 347-327-9215 is the show call-in number. Please join us! We have a lot to say on the subject and hope you do too!  

Women complain that males lie a lot to them, about pretty much everything. We are going to sit down and hash out some of the most frequent and most damaging lies women are told by men. We will also discuss why women are lied to, what the goal is of the liar, and what women young and old need to know to protect themselves. Remember, just because he SAID it doesn't mean it's true! Call 347-327-9215 to join in the discussion, or log on to participate in the online chat.

Some men are very quick to accuse women of smothering them or being too needy when what she is asking for is quality time and emotional intimacy. Can men really determine the difference between loving, caring and smothering? Do men even know what "smothering" means? Tonight we'll discuss a working definition of smothering and when loving behaviors are within the realm of normal vs. obsessive. Too many men seem to want relationships solely on their terms; sadly, many view only bedroom activity as "quality time." Let's talk about it! Call 347-327-9215 to participate in the discussion. Log onto SurvivingDating.Com for more great information on dating and relationships.

Can a man truly be "trapped" by a woman with a pregnancy and a child when he had sex with her voluntarily? If a male sabotages a woman's birth control to force a pregnancy is she "trapped?" Should a pregnant woman be required to have a child that she doesn't want but the sperm donor does?Should women be required to get abortions if her partner decides he doesn't want to be a father? Should a man that doesn't want to be a father be required to pay child support for a child he does not want? We'll also discuss the interesting 2005 Illinois case where a man who claims to have only had oral relations with a woman that inseminated herself with the semen without his knowledge; but she says he knew very well what was going on and they had regular relations. Call 347-327-9215 to participate by phone, or log on to chat at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/askheartbeat