90 Seconds on The Verge

"What's your game? We have it all! Roulette? Perhaps a little blackjack? Some cincinatti holdem? Take your pick good sir, take your pick." "I'll play...Uno."

What happens when a goof goes too far? What happens when a fun little prank turns into a night of sheer terror? From the acclaimed author of 'Yep, It's Poop' and 'Little House on the Prarie II' comes the new face of evil. Coming this winter... 'Blood Wedgie'

[INSERT DESCRIPTION THAT MAKES LITTLE SENSE, BUT STILL SOMEHOW FEELS LIKE IT CONNECTS WITH THE STORIES OF THE DAY]

He's a mystery, a myth, an enigma. He flies through the night skies... swiftly, graciously. He brings justice and peace to the city streets. He fights the man. He is the man. Who is he? Who is the caped crusader? He is.... (internet connection lost)

"What is a symptom of a technological illness?" *man waits to hear the answer* "A hacking cough." *silence* "HACKING cough... a HACKING cough." *head shake* "Get it? Like it has two meanings." *man exits room*

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. "Excuse me, but your watch is awfully loud." "It's not my watch. It's this new tick, tock smartwatch app." "Well in that case, I am completely out of line!"

If I had the ability to fly, I don't know if I would use it that often. I just wouldn't want to show off. Who wants to hang out with the guy that's all, "Hey! Look at me! I'm the guy who can fly!" I mean, really? You really have to show off to everyone that you can do something no one else can? I guess I'd rather just have the ability to fall asleep quickly. Maybe that will finally stop my insomnia.

Every beginning has an end. And every end leads to a new beginning. And sometimes we're not really sure how we feel about either but we have to wait until summer 2015 to see what happens — and hey, what happened to Vicki Vale, anyway?

The tension is palpable. No purchases being made, nothing sold. What to do? The whole world is watching. Sweat trickles down the foreheads of everyone in the room. They all stare at the anxious IT guy called in to fix the problem. Control. Alt. Delete. Problem solved.

The Lego man gazed down upon his Lego land, in the only way that a stately Lego man can. The shadow of his Lego tower — yes, it surely did devour — all the Lego light as a symbol of his Lego power.

"Hey, smart guy. I thought I told you not to eat lunch around here." "I'm... I'm just minding my own business." "I don't think so, kid. Stop stalling. Hand it over." "I don't have any lunch money. I brought lunch from home." "Not the money, kid. I want the hard drives."

He arrived not knowing what flavor of frozen drink he wanted. Soon he will know. Because what begins at the convenience store shall end there. And what ends there, shall once more begin. This is what happens. Men become thirsty. Men get lost. Men order that strange blue flavor when what they really want is the cola and cherry combination. Men's taste buds... are reborn.

The boy came prepared, his pockets stuffed with quarters and that powder that rock climbers use to keep their palms dry. He approached the machine confidently, but with caution. "Step forward and face me," said the machine. The boy reached into his pocket, hand quivering, and grabbed his first coin. It felt smooth and dirty. This wasn't the quarter's first rodeo. The boy took one single deep breath, taking in the smell of cotton candy and forgotton dreams that lingered in the dark corners of Pinball Pete's. He exhaled slowly, but confidently. This was no longer a boy. This was a man. A man ready to finally beat a game that had destroyed many saturday afternoons when he probably should have been doing something more physically active. And so he dropped the quarter into the slot and the game began.

Adam's apple. Wish bone. Broken heart. Funny bone. Spare ribs. Butterflies in stomach. Bread basket. Writer's cramp. Charlie horse. Water on the knee. Anklebone connected to the kneebone. Wrenched ankle.

Rocky IV > A View to a Kill > Masters of the Universe > Red Scorpion > Johnny Mnemonic > The Expendables