EFT/Tapping Q and A Podcast with Gene Monterastelli – Emotional Freedom Techniques

I love talking about the work I do. When I am meeting someone for the first time I don't jump right into tapping or EFT. I about self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and emotional healing. At some point in the conversation, because people are so interested in what I do, the conversation turn to how is do it. This means we have to talk about tapping and EFT. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about EFT, but to the uninitiated it is weird. Okay, it's not weird, its really weird. Because of this I think we need to be careful in the way we share tapping with other. I am not saying that we should hold anything back or be dishonest, but instead we need to remember where the other person is coming from when we are sharing new information. Here are few simple things to keep in mind when sharing about EFT so that others will be more willing to hear what you are sharing. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

I love people who have a natural healing disposition. They see their healing talents as a gift that they want to share with others. Sometimes this giftedness has the drawback of attracting many more people than we are capable of helping. For helpers and healers it can be hard to create healthy boundaries. When our boundaries are overrun it’s easy simply to want to cut ourselves off. In this conversation with Rue Hass we talk about how we can establish boundaries from a generative rather than a defensive posture. Rue Hass Guest: Rue Hass Contact Info: web @ IntuitiveMentoring.com, email @ rue (at) intuitivementoring (dot) com How Rue describes herself: When I first meet a new client/customer/co-creative partner, I walk them through an interesting process of understanding their life as a story. It concludes with asking them to consider what they want their life to leave in the world as a legacy. How do they want the world to be a better place for their having been in it? When I contemplate this in myself, and ask, “What do I want to focus on in this phase of my life, as a culmination of everything I have learned and gained?”, what emerges for me is the concept of “spiritual eldering.” This impulse finds expression in my work with individuals and local groups, inviting and assisting people and communities to move into a sense of the real transformative power of their spiritual Presence in the world. I particularly like to work with young people, adolescents and young adults as a mentor/coach. I have always been drawn to the kind of kid who might find him/herself in trouble in school, academically or socially, but who on the inside is bright, sensitive, perceptive, intuitive, often artistic or athletic, deep hearted and imaginative, and who just doesn’t fit the norm. I want to make it easier for these young people to find their place in the world. I think they are here to save it. Make sure you check out all of Rue's guest articles and podcasts on Tapping Q and A. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

Creating the loving relationship we desire it isn't simply about finding a partner. We want to find our way to the right relationship that feeds and nurtures us. Unfortunately many people keep finding themselves in the same type of relationship that isn't right for them. In this conversation Stefan Gonick talks about what we can learn from our past relationship patterns and how to address our conscious and unconscious fears around them, thereby making useful action towards creating a fulfilling relationship possible. Stefan Gonick Guest: Stefan Gonick Contact: web @ FindingTheLoveYouWant.com; phone @ 413/527-5491 About Stefan: Stefan Gonick is an internationally recognized Soulmate Attraction Mentor and Expert EFT Practitioner. For over 20 years, Stefan has helped smart, loving people attract the spine-tingling and lasting love they've always longed for, even when they thought it wasn't possible for them. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

When I look at the work that I have done on myself since I discovered tapping I can distill almost every issue down to one thing. Being comfortable inside my own skin. When I am comfortable inside my own skin I am more likely to follow inspiration, I am more likely act with confidence, and I am more likely to see situations as they truly are. If any of those things are true at the time of action I will be much happier with outcome. When all three are true, amazing things happen. In this short audio I explore the importance of being comfortable inside our own skin and provide a short tap-along to nurture this sense. Let me know your thoughts on this idea below. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes There is a part of me…That wants the people around me…To love me…To appreciate me…To accept me…To see me as good…Because as a human being…I am communal…I am connected to others…It’s part of my nature…It’s part of who I am…It’s part of who I will always be…So it makes sense…That that there is a part of me…That is thinking about what others think…That is concerned about how they see me…But I recognize the fact…What is most important…Is the way I see myself…Because at the end of it all…At the end of each moment…At the end of each day…At the end of my life…The only person…Who is completely connected to my choices is me…Therefore I need to be comfortable with me…I need to be comfortable with my choices…I need to be comfortable with the way I see myself…When I see myself as good…When I see myself as worthy…I become comfortable inside of me…I am home inside of me…That doesn’t mean I’m perfect…That doesn’t mean I always get it right…That doesn’t mean I make the best choice in every circumstance…But it means in the moment…Because I’m only concerned with…The way I value myself…And not how others value me…I put myself into the position…That allows me to be successful…That allows me to be safe…That allows me to be truly me each day…I give myself permission…To work towards…Being comfortable in my own skin…To work towards loving myself…Because if I am capable of doing that…Then I will be able to handle whatever comes…With grace…With strength…And become who I am supposed to be…I give myself permission…Every single day…To be a little more comfortable…Inside of my own skin.

A few weeks ago in podcast #149 we talked about the trouble with saying "I love and accept myself". As we discussed, sometimes it is hard to say and there are also times where it isn't helpful to say. It was a useful discussion you should check out. I was overwhelmed with the response to that podcast. I as I noted in the Best Of 2014 I received the most emails about this particular post in the whole year. One question came up again and again: "How exactly do I tap for self-acceptance?" Here is a simple tool to do just that. You will need to use the Setup Phrase Generator and it only takes a few minutes a day. I would love to hear how this works for you in the comments below.

There are a number of books and movies that I revisit at least once a year. I do this because even though the stories and information are the same, I have changed and therefore they impact me in a new way. It might be the sixth time I have re-read a particular book, but it feels like there are passages that I have never seen before. As we come the end of 2014 I thought it would be useful to revisit some of the best of the best from TappingQ&A. If there is something from the site you loved this year, but I missed on my list please add it to comments below. Thanks again for your continued support. Most Read: Tapping Tools You Might Have Forgotten About - This is was by far and away the most read article of the year. It covers a great review of techniques that you can add to your already-successful tapping. Most Listened To Podcast: Having A Plan With Your Tapping w/ Gwyneth Moss - I was not surprised when I saw this was the most listened to podcast. In this interview Gwyneth lays out a simple process to approach any issue. You should listen to this one twice! Most Commented Upon Post: What My Reaction To Others Says About Me (AKA What You Think About Others Is What You Think About Yourself) - This is the most personal item added to the site all year where I tap for a very embarrassing moment where I judged a total stranger. Most Useful Post: How I Approach An EFT Session With A Client - I am often asked how I structure my sessions with clients and what I am thinking about as the session unfolds. In this interview I share exactly what I do and what I am thinking as I work with clients. Most Email Responses: What If I Can't Say I Love And Accept Myself? (Thoughts On The EFT Setup Phrase) - It is obvious this short audio really struck a chord with some people. Instead of commenting publicly in the comment section of the post many readers felt compelled to send me a personal message about how this audio touched them. My Favorite Interview Of The Year: Your Self-Sabotage Is Brilliant w/ Brad Yates - I enjoy doing all of the interviews, but this particular one with Brad stood out. When we started chatting I had no idea where we were going and we ended with a great conversation. My Favorite Article Of The Year: Why Self-Help Gurus Might Be Bad For Us - This might not be the best piece I wrote this year, but it was the piece that I most needed to read. Best Of The Rest The Root Of My Issues The Trouble With The Word Quit I Feel Sad...I Am Not Sad Tapping To Get Your To-Do List Done They Don't Want You To Change (No Matter What They Say) EFT For Animals Transitioning Into A New Home w/ Susan Peach Perfectionism Is Protection (That Is Running Amuck)

Surrogate tapping is a tricky topic. Tapping itself is difficult enough to explain, but trying to explain how I can tap on my body to promote change in someone else is a whole other level. At that point it sounds like we are talking about woo-woo crap that just can't be true. In the last few weeks I have witnessed some amazing things with surrogate tapping (or at least they appear to be the result of surrogate tapping). First, my sister regularly takes her dog Addison to the vet. Like many animals, Addison gets really nervous when she visits the vet and she especially hates having her nails clipped. When a trip to the vet is scheduled my sister will send me a text so that I can tap for Addison (from the other side of the United States). And next I receive a picture from my sister of Addison lying calmly on the ground completely relaxed and serene. It has happened too many times for me to dismiss this as some kind of coincidence. Second, I have been working with a family with a child who has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Over the last six months the family has seen some amazing results with surrogate tapping. A few weeks ago their son started to backslide and lost almost all the progress he had made to date. I put together a short tapping sequence and within a day he not only regained everything the family had achieved from the tapping, but it also triggered a significant clearing and release on a physical level from his system (I won’t go into detail here but am sure you get the picture!). Sometimes people ask me how all this works and all I can think to say is, "I have no idea!" With that being said, it doesn't always work. Just because we are surrogate tapping it doesn't mean that progress happens. There are times when we tap and yet we cannot perceive any progress. Two years ago, a very dear friend of mine's 33-year-old body succumbed to cancer. As I wrote about what it was like to tap for her I asked, "Why didn't the surrogate tapping work?" Because of the number of people who have been asking me about surrogate tapping (and specifically about my experience tapping for a friend with cancer) I thought this would be the perfect time to revisit the idea of surrogate tapping. In this audio I talk about surrogate tapping, when I do it, and why I think it didn't work on my friend's cancer. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

Often our biggest obstacle we have to using tapping in the healing process is ourselves. This plays out in two ways. First, sometimes a part of us doesn’t feel it is safe for us to heal. Since a part of our system doesn't feel safe healing we short circuit the healing process. When this happens we don't tap as much as we would like and always seem to have other things to do. Second, there are times when we are tapping for the "wrong issue" or have the "wrong expectation" of how the tapping/healing process should look. In this scenario we can tap and tap and tap...but not get anywhere. In this week's podcast I explore how we can respond to the second way we prevent ourselves from getting the most out of tapping. Our mindset about what to tap on and what the healing process should look like make a world of difference in determining our success. By keeping these 3 simple ideas in mind before you tap you will find your way to quicker and more effective healing. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

My clients often complain that even though they tap regularly for their issues, there are times when their emotions get the better of them. The goal of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is not for us to become emotionless. Our emotions are important because they allow us to feel in order to navigate the world and they are what give our experience richness. The problems isn't the emotions themselves, but when and how strongly they show up. In this week's podcast I talk about the ultimate goal of tapping AND how we can best understand our experience of our emotions. I would love to hear what you think the main goal of tapping is in the comments below. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

When Gary Craig first introduced the world to Emotional Freedom Techniques he used something he called the setup phrase. You would tap on the side of your hand or rub the sore spot and say, "Even though I have [insert issue] I completely love and accept myself." As time has passed and EFT has evolved most teachers of tapping fall into one of two camps. They are either insistent that you do this every time or they never do it at all. There are enough tapping teachers who are still sharing the setup phrase that about once every 10 days I receive an email asking "Do I really have to say the setup phrase?" I think there is a middle ground. There are times when it is really useful and there are also times when it can slow the tapping process. In this podcast we explore when to use the setup phrase. We will also look at why most people are avoiding it, which has nothing to do with its usefulness. I would love to hear your thoughts on the setup phrase in the comments below. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

Between the bonus podcasts and the full show I have shared over 200 podcasts! It has been an amazing journey. I would like to thank: Adele Wang, Alina Frank, AnaMaria Herrera, Andy Bryce, Ann Ross, Brad Yates, Brittany Watkins, Carol Look, Carol Tuttle, Catherine Poole, Colleen Flanagan, Dan Cleary, Dawson Church, Deborah Miller, Dene Ballantine, Elham Kashefi, Gina Parris, Gwenn Bonnell, Gwyneth Moss, Helen Walker, Jake Khym, Janet Hilts, Jaqui Crooks, Jared Tendler, Jenn Goddard, Jesse Jacobs, Jessica Ortner, Joanne Callahan, John Soriano, Jondi Whitis, Judy Byrne, Karin Davidson, Kris Ferraro, Linda Wood, Lindsay Kenny, Loretta Sparks, Louise Woods, Lynne Shaner, Michelle Price, Maggie Adkins, Margaret M. Lynch, Marie Holliday, Masha Bennett, Pamela Bruner, Pat Carrington, Paul Zelizer, Rebecca Kane, Rhona Clews, Rick Wilkes, Robert G. Smith, Robert Kendall, Rod Sherwin, Ron Ball, Rue Hass, Sebastiaan van der Schrier, Shoshana Garfield, PhD, Stacey Vornbrock, Stephen W. Carter, Steve Wells, Sue Beer, Susan Peach, Susanne Peach, Tania A Prince, Ted Robinson, Terry Lynch, Till Schilling, and Wil Horton. None of the guests was paid for their contribution. I feel so blessed that they were willing to share their time and their information and wisdom. As the person who had a front row seat for the full catalog I know my life is richer because of it. Recently, I was chatting with Gwyneth Moss and she asked if she could interview me about what I learned from doing 200 podcasts. That is the interview I am sharing this week. Help The Podcast Grow Even though you receive the podcast free of charge does not mean that it is free to produce. Between the time it takes to record, edit, and publish each podcast as well as the bandwidth costs for you to download the shows, it costs between $300 and $500 per episode to produce and distribute. I am firmly committed to keep providing this resource free of charge. AND I am committed to keeping the entire library all the way to the first one available. (Did you know on average every day every podcast in the archive is downloaded at least once? Even the ones from way back in March 2009!) To celebrate the 200th show I have created a special little package. I have put the first 200 podcasts on a thumb drive and I have written an ebook. I went back and re-listened to every single episode of the podcast and wrote about what I learned from each episode. Can you access all 200 podcasts from the site without having to buy this package? Of course, but you can now have them all in one place on a USB drive. Can you receive my reflections on and lessons learned from the 200 podcast anywhere else? No. It is like having a Cliff Notes version of over 100 hours of audio. The reason I have put this package together is to defray the cost of the podcast so that people will always have free access to every episode. Note: USB Drives will be mailed out the first week of Jan. 2014 Cost: $50 My Audio Reflections On 200 Podcasts Here are my reflections on 200 shows. I would love to hear yours down in the comments. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

We live in a time of exceptionalism. Everywhere we turn we are presented with the biggest, the best, the greatest, and the most important. And it is not just coming from marketers. If you spend any time on social media you see people describing the best meal they have ever had, the greatest vacation of all time, and the most important thing they learned. We have come to a place where if it isn't the best then it must be a failure. Wanting To Be The Best All The Time Is Bad For Us I think that it is important to strive for better and that we give it our all, but there are times where wanting to be the best just isn't good for us. It can even hold us back from taking action. In this podcast I talk about the trap of needing to be the best all the time, the value of good enough being good enough, and how we can tap to find our way to the right level of excellence. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about my challenging of your desire to be excellent at everything. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

I was recently having drinks with a friend and we were talking about my time teaching anger management in jail. She asked if I would teach her one of the tools I taught the guys. So I explained one of my favorites. She responded, "I can see how that tool would useful, but that is just about emotions generally. How is that tool an 'anger management' tool?" And she was right. Every tool I taught in jail was about having a healthy emotional response. Yes, the guys were looking to manage their anger, but the tools and techniques we use for anger are no different than those we would use any other disproportionate emotion. The Real Goal When we are working with our emotional response, the goal of tapping is not to be emotionless. The goal is to have a proportional, well-informed response. Everything we do when tapping for our emotions is about returning them to balance. We can successfully use the same techniques for all emotions is because the process of transforming our emotional response is the same regardless of the emotion we are working on. Very early on in tapping with clients I realized there was a consistent process that we go through as we work our way to well-informed, proportional emotional responses. In this podcast I explain the stages we move through when we are healing our emotional responses. Understanding this transformed the way I worked with clients AND how I understand my own healing journey. I would listen to this audio two or three times. Once you understand this process it will give you an understanding of where to start with your issue to gain the fastest results from your tapping. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a healing protocol that is gaining more and more acceptance worldwide. I see it very much as a cousin of EFT and tapping. In this podcast I interview Masha Bennett who is very experienced in both. She compares and contrasts the two protocols. In doing so she shares what tappers can learn from EMDR and what EMDR practitioners can learn from tapping. Regardless how much tapping training and experience you have you will learn from this comparison. Masha Bennett Guest: Masha Bennett Contact: web @ PracticalHappiness.co.uk/; twitter @ MashaBennett](https://twitter.com/MashaBennett); facebook @ Practical Happiness About:Masha is an accredited Neurolinguistic Psychotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner, Advanced Practitioner and Trainer in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). She also has years of experience and extensive training in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy, Hypno-Psychotherapy, Stress Management (individual and corporate) and addiction treatment, is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing) to an advanced level, and is continually working on improving her skills and flexibility in helping people achieve their goals and dreams. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes Masha is one of this year’s speakers at EFT Gathering held January 23rd - 26th, 2015 in York, UK. I will also be speaking at the event We would love to see you there!

Recently my friend Rebecca Kane asked me about my approach to working with clients and how I structure my client sessions. It turned into a very constructive conversation. If you have ever wondered what a practitioner is thinking when they are doing a session and why they do what they do, here is your chance to hear my point of view. This is not the only way or the best way to do a session, but these are things I keep in mind to ensure I am keeping my clients safe and providing the best care possible. If you are interested in working with me one-on-one drop me a note. If you are interested in tapping training created by Gene you can get Advanced Tapping Training at a discount and a full year of the the Ruach Center. Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes In addition to her work as a tapping practitioner, Rebecca Kane is a very talented graphic designer. You can see samples of her work and contact her at: KaneDesignConsulting.com