Me1 vs Me2 Snooker with Richard Herring

Frame 77: Vice-Versa. At times tonight it almost feels like the players have swapped styles of play. Is it possible that they could have switched bodies when they already have the same body? I am no scientist, but I say, almost certainly not. This is, seriously, one of the most thrilling frames of Me vs Me snooker ever. I wish you could have seen it. Catch Richard on tour: www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour

Frame 76: But Is It Art? Excitingly or annoyingly depending on which Me you are, the Mes have been invited to perform in an extreme performance art event in June, but shouldn't they be being embraced by the sporting fraternity rather than the artsy fartsy genital manipulators? Who can say? You're just here to find out which Me is best at snooker, and this frame should help make that clearer. Or possibly obsfurcate it. There are children's toys and cats everywhere too. It's a nightmare. Having other beings to be responsible for, I mean.

Frame 75: To Kill (beat) a Mockingbird (mocking snooker player). It's the third frame in a night and so the chat is kept to a minimum and the snooker does the talking. A cat gets on the table. A child sleeps. Whisky is drunk. We try to work out if parenthood or self-playing snooker is more important. I think you all know the answer to that. See Rich on tour, not playing snooker: www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour

Frame 74: Big Brexit (Break). Everyone has been given a kick up the arse and is trying properly now. And it's a big frame this week as the result will decide if the UK stays in Europe or not. Who is right Jeremy Hunt or Michael Gove? Is it ever possible that one of them is right? But if not, then what does that mean? Congrats to all concerned for not doing the 'Is there an Eco in here?' joke this time. The malaise is over. This podcast is back where it belongs. But is that in the UK or in Europe? Me2 wishes that they hadn't had beans for lunch. Lucky there is no smellovision on this thing. Pictured: Me1 and Me2 debating the issue in song (and wigs). Come and see Rich on tour so that more snooker can happen www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour

Frame 73: A Total Boutros Boutros Shambles. It's been said before many times, but this might be the worst frame of Me1 vs Me2 Snooker of all time. It's amazing that something this bad could have a nadir, but it's all relative. Everyone was off their game from the players to the commentators to the referee to Richard Herring himself. Only Smithers and Phoebe (the future Me2) played their parts correctly. Still it's a great advert for Herring's tour, which is scripted to the most part and has no snooker in it. www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour. I can only apologise, but if you want to win this challenge you know that you have to listen to it all.

Frame 72: Philip J Rock and Roll. In the third frame played in little over an hour, the intense rivalry of the Mes really comes to the fore, with some intense and brilliant snooker, plus at least on fart and a glass of whisky. Who will end this three frame marathon in the ascendant. And does it really matter? Self-Playing Snooker is not a matter of life and death, it is less important than both of those thing, yet brilliantly encompasses both of them. With some snooker.

Frame 71: Naked Sauna. Almost straight after the last frame finished these two gladiators of the green board were straight back at it, even though the room was as hot as a sauna with a naked middle-aged German woman in it... to see if they could ascertain which of them was best at snooker. Just like Bailey's Comets, the competition continues, never-ending unless it fails to get recommissioned. Who remembers Bailey's Comets? Just me. I will never be Peter Kay. See me on tour: www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour

Frame 70: Blank-Playing Snooker. In tribute to one god of audio broadcasting, two almost equal gods of audio broadcasting play a frame of snooker against each other. Look at Terry Wogan there. Who is to say he isn't listening to self-playing snooker in the picture? Not me. I wouldn't dare presume. Thank God he didn't live to listen to this awful frame though. Some of the laziest and worst self-playing snooker and commentary you will ever hear in audio only format.

Frame 69: The 69 Club. By a bizarre coincidence that probably proves that God listens to Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker, we hit Frame 69 as the number 69 dominates the news and gives a tough choice for the name of the arena. The snooker board is covered in the residue of a Christmas tree and a cat. A baby is sleeping. There's an exercise bike and a wall in the way. But, even so, the players manage to put together a match of unbelievable tension and twists and turns and snooker skill that you won't believe. Also it might cure cancer. Come and see Rich on tour - dates here: http://www.richardherring.com/happy_now/tour

Frame 68: One Off My Favourite Number. With Me1's wife at a pop concert and Me1's baby asleep upstairs, the Mes dust off their cues and make a last ditch attempt to raise 924,000 in 19 hours via their kickstarter campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker With the world's news being so serious, the mood in the arena is respectful and sombre and this is a time to show the world that the way forward is for everyone to stay in their basements playing snooker against each other. Then we would be at peace. At such an important time the actual result is almost irrelevant. It's the fact that we're doing this that is important. That and raising a million pounds so we can do loads more of this. It's exactly the kind of thing that ISIS want to put a stop to. So for the love of freedom please give the Mes one million pounds.

Frame 68: One Off My Favourite Number. With Me1's wife at a pop concert and Me1's baby asleep upstairs, the Mes dust off their cues and make a last ditch attempt to raise 924,000 in 19 hours via their kickstarter campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker With the world's news being so serious, the mood in the arena is respectful and sombre and this is a time to show the world that the way forward is for everyone to stay in their basements playing snooker against each other. Then we would be at peace. At such an important time the actual result is almost irrelevant. It's the fact that we're doing this that is important. That and raising a million pounds so we can do loads more of this. It's exactly the kind of thing that ISIS want to put a stop to. So for the love of freedom please give the Mes one million pounds.

Frame 67: A Frame Worthy of the Birth Year of the New Jesus. A week has passed for you, but in the dead film critic arena only seconds have gone by and Me1 and to the same extent Me2 are both at each other's throats trying to seek revenge/prove their worthiness for the controversial Frame 66. This is another scintillating tussle, easily worth the million pounds that the Mes are trying to raise via Kickstarter https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker on its own. It sets the player up nicely for the Chris Evans (not that one) trophy which they'll be playing for immediately after this and which will only be available on the new Lord of the Dance Settee DVD which will be available from www.gofasterstripe.com before Christmas. You can listen to/watch the previous three Chris Evans (not that one) trophies by buying the What is Love Anyway? Talking Cock and We're All Going to Die DVDs at www.gofasterstripe.com. (only the first two were filmed). It's another amazing frame that helps cement Me vs Me Snooker as the premier sporting challenge and work of art of the 21st Century.

Frame 67: A Frame Worthy of the Birth Year of the New Jesus. A week has passed for you, but in the dead film critic arena only seconds have gone by and Me1 and to the same extent Me2 are both at each other's throats trying to seek revenge/prove their worthiness for the controversial Frame 66. This is another scintillating tussle, easily worth the million pounds that the Mes are trying to raise via Kickstarter https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker on its own. It sets the player up nicely for the Chris Evans (not that one) trophy which they'll be playing for immediately after this and which will only be available on the new Lord of the Dance Settee DVD which will be available from www.gofasterstripe.com before Christmas. You can listen to/watch the previous three Chris Evans (not that one) trophies by buying the What is Love Anyway? Talking Cock and We're All Going to Die DVDs at www.gofasterstripe.com. (only the first two were filmed). It's another amazing frame that helps cement Me vs Me Snooker as the premier sporting challenge and work of art of the 21st Century.

Frame 66: Making a Million. The Mes have launched a Kickstarter campaign to try and prove Me1's wife wrong and show her that self-playing snooker can ensure the financial future of her family (as well as pay for a state of the art playing arena)- it's here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker And this is a frame that will reignite your love for this sport of Kings of Edinburgh. It has everything: loads of mistakes, a possible frame deciding controversy and some jingling and jangling and mild drunkenness. Please ensure the future of this sport of 'king idiots and donate a pound or more. Surely there are enough fans to take it over the million pound finish line. Surely.

Frame 66: Making a Million. The Mes have launched a Kickstarter campaign to try and prove Me1's wife wrong and show her that self-playing snooker can ensure the financial future of her family (as well as pay for a state of the art playing arena)- it's here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker And this is a frame that will reignite your love for this sport of Kings of Edinburgh. It has everything: loads of mistakes, a possible frame deciding controversy and some jingling and jangling and mild drunkenness. Please ensure the future of this sport of 'king idiots and donate a pound or more. Surely there are enough fans to take it over the million pound finish line. Surely.