Me1 vs Me2 Snooker with Richard Herring

Frame 3: With the competition delicately balanced at one frame apiece, Me1 and Me2 are battling to see who will enter the new year in the ascendancy. And though both are suffering post-Christmas illness, Dr Snooker Hall comes to their aid for a scintillating frame of snooker, showing both the most expert and amateur play yet. By now their different personalities and playing styles are beginning to shine through and their mutual resentment is growing, though both Mes seem to want to sort out their issues where it counts - on the green baize of the snooker board. One Me's fans will be ending the year cock-a-hoop, but the other Me's fans will be licking their wounds. Or the cock hoops of the opposing fans. Whatever they like. It's Christmas after all. And remember those of you who got a snooker table from Santa this year, a snooker table is for life, not just for Christmas. If you hone your skills in a quarter of a century you might be as adept at this game as Me1 and Me 2. Who will win? Do you care enough to waste 30 more minutes finding out? You know you do. You idiot.

Frame 2: Me 1 and Me 2 are fresh back from a holiday together in Thailand and it's hard to be sure exactly what went on in that non-snooker environment, but the dynamic has certainly changed. Me 1 has a lot to prove after his disappointing debut in Frame 1 but Me 2 is his usual confident and abrasive self and is sure he can hold him off. Meanwhile both the commentator and the referee Richard Herring's seem largely more comfortable with their roles and fans of Commentator 2 will be glad to hear that he makes an appearance. The ironing board is up against the light switch and Me 1 has been eating duty free Toblerone. Anything can happen, within very limited parameters and all that we can be certain of is that it's going to take a lot more frames before this starts to be funny again. But when it does it will have been worth the wasted hours and days. Sponsored by www.gofasterstripe.com, and please prevent any of the Richards cracking up completely by coming to see him on tour in the New Year. All details here

Frame 1: Me 1 and Me 2 return to the baize for almost the first time in a quarter of a century, but time has not dampened their bitter rivalry. Who will triumph is this battle of the same person who isn't very good at snooker playing against himself? There is only one way to find out. But it's 25 minutes long and you can't unlisten to it. Dare you tune in? You know you dare.