Me1 vs Me2 Snooker with Richard Herring

Me1 vs Me 2 Snooker Frame 14 - Due to marriage and house renovation we haven't heard anything for months from the Mes, some might have assumed that they were dead. But if so they have risen again, at least for now, and itching to get back to the snooker board to see if marriage has improved or destroyed Me1's game. This frame was recorded after a scintillating and exciting first, a video frame, the two Mes playing for the Chris Evans (not that one) Trophy, which will be exclusively released as an extra on Richard's forthcoming 'What Is Love, Anyway?' DVD (hopefully available in August 2012). The result must remain secret for now and does not affect the podcast score in any case, but the players and commentators were tired and as a result this is an especially poor podcast, designed mainly to lose even more of the 20,000 listeners who began this Odyssey (less than 6000 brave souls listened to Frame 13). But it will pass the time, if nothing else and hopefully normal service will be resumed in July or failing that September!

Me1 vs Me 2 Snooker Frame 14 - Due to marriage and house renovation we haven't heard anything for months from the Mes, some might have assumed that they were dead. But if so they have risen again, at least for now, and itching to get back to the snooker board to see if marriage has improved or destroyed Me1's game. This frame was recorded after a scintillating and exciting first, a video frame, the two Mes playing for the Chris Evans (not that one) Trophy, which will be exclusively released as an extra on Richard's forthcoming 'What Is Love, Anyway?' DVD (hopefully available in August 2012). The result must remain secret for now and does not affect the podcast score in any case, but the players and commentators were tired and as a result this is an especially poor podcast, designed mainly to lose even more of the 20,000 listeners who began this Odyssey (less than 6000 brave souls listened to Frame 13). But it will pass the time, if nothing else and hopefully normal service will be resumed in July or failing that September!

Frame 13: Unlucky for Mes-o. The basement is being dismantled around their ears and, as the walls disappear, the Mes themselves begin to look as frail as gossamer. Both The Normal Man and the Very, Very Strong Gale are determined to go into the void fighting, for whatever the score, the rule of 'winner stays on' might prevail. But their determination might flag as Me1's fiancee is out buying Nandos and what if she returns before the frame is over? For whilst both players are fighting for something beyond tangible reality, the tangibility of extra hot sauce might be enough to distract them. How awful if this, their possible swan song, should be marred by delicious chicken. Yet, how apt. And are Referee 2's days numbered even if they players do return? The podcast may go on a brief to longish hiatus, but I hope that it shall return with all my hearts.

Frame 12: For the aid of insomniacs. A soporific frame of snooker recorded late at night after a long drive when Me1's fiancee was out longer than expected. It's actually a very exciting frame of snooker, but played by and commentated upon and refereed by people who seem to be out of their minds with tiredness. Everyone is contemplating the infinity of nothingness that will greet them at their death. A visitor from beyond the grave gives them all a terrifying taste of what it means to be nowhere and nothing. But there's a funny bit where one of the balls goes up on the cushion. Will this work live longer than all the participants and what if it is all of theirs that survives? More importantly what did the next door neighbours make of this late night weirdness? Surely no one is listening now. But if we stop then we stop existing. Don't let us die.

Frame 11: Time for Ref-erendum on the Ref-erratum? If only Richard Herring could actually split himself into 6 different people then perhaps he'd have time to do all the things he needs to be done. Instead he is giving up his valuable time to this, the least important and worst thing he is involved in, for increasingly diminishing returns. But does that elevate it to true art? Or just make him a true arse. The players are sensing that a hiatus is on the horizon and are both playing out of their skins so that they might come out on top in case this visit back to the void that they lived in from 1986-2011 proves permanent. But whilst we get to know the commentators a little bit better in this frame, it is surely the competency of Referee 2 which will be the talking point. Sure he's younger and cooler and better looking than crusty old Referee 1, but is he a fitting replacement? Should Referee 1 return? So far almost two people have called for his reinstatement. Will others join in the clamour? To read exclusive interview with the players visit http://bit.ly/Me1Me2Interview

Frame 10: A twist in Mes' Sobriety - After last week's debacle and drunkenness and revelations, it's a much more sober affair this time. No one seems to be missing Referee 1, but maybe his experience would have come usual in this unusual frame full of freak shots and misses. We find out how Me1 vs Me2 snooker is helping Britain's Olympic hopes (in archery rather than snooker - playing yourself at the former is frankly weird, but no one says anything about that) and also hear of plans to expand the playing arena which will surely not only spoil the fun for most listeners, but might also mean a hiatus for the podcast. Me1's fiancee is not happy about him playing with himself in the basement either, and the closeness of his nuptials seem to put voice to some confusing and upsetting ideas that might offend and shock listeners of a nervous disposition. But it's all about the snooker and this is a frame full of incident and mishaps and frankly it's a lot more dull when everyone is drinking Diet Coke (other colas are available).

Frame 10: A twist in Mes' Sobriety - After last week's debacle and drunkenness and revelations, it's a much more sober affair this time. No one seems to be missing Referee 1, but maybe his experience would have come usual in this unusual frame full of freak shots and misses. We find out how Me1 vs Me2 snooker is helping Britain's Olympic hopes (in archery rather than snooker - playing yourself at the former is frankly weird, but no one says anything about that) and also hear of plans to expand the playing arena which will surely not only spoil the fun for most listeners, but might also mean a hiatus for the podcast. Me1's fiancee is not happy about him playing with himself in the basement either, and the closeness of his nuptials seem to put voice to some confusing and upsetting ideas that might offend and shock listeners of a nervous disposition. But it's all about the snooker and this is a frame full of incident and mishaps and frankly it's a lot more dull when everyone is drinking Diet Coke (other colas are available).

Frame 9: Apocalypse - Recorded around midnight on Feb 2-Feb 3 there are some startling revelations and twists and turns in the soup opera that is Me vs Me snooker. One of the major figures in the show is given their marching orders. Is anyone safe? And Me2 is so upset that he has turned to drink, whilst Me1 sticks fastidiously to Ribena. Which will win? Sobriety or drunkeness? Monogamy or debauchery? And will the result of a snooker match really help us to understand these concpssts? Is it possible to be a winner and a loser? Can you be a winer and a loser? This is where it really gets dark and metaphuuyscal and interesting. This is why we've been waiting for the idiots to leave. Don't let anyone tell you this is a man on his own getting steadily drunker whiols he plays himself art snooker. It is much ore that than. This descripotin was written in the direct adtermath of the podcast. It will change your world a d warp you mind and slowly you will start to udnerstand why the people weho listened for 10 miuntuyes and then gave up are the idiots. And it's you qho is cool. Defineitly. There's a snooker mathc too.

Frame 8: Muffs and guffs. Something rotten is hanging over today's contest and it's not just the persistent accusations of match-fixing. There is a very actual and real odour pervading the whole thing, but no one is prepared to admit who dealt it. So that mystery will have to keep you entertained, because there's very little going on on the snooker board to give you any joy and even if there was, only Commentator 2 seems anywhere near capable of describing it. All the Mes are weary after a long drive back from Nottingham in the dead of night, but that can be no excuse in a professional sport. It might be worth hanging around for the metaphysical recriminations at the end, or if you just want to know who has won. But will we find out who guffed? When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Frame 8: Muffs and guffs. Something rotten is hanging over today's contest and it's not just the persistent accusations of match-fixing. There is a very actual and real odour pervading the whole thing, but no one is prepared to admit who dealt it. So that mystery will have to keep you entertained, because there's very little going on on the snooker board to give you any joy and even if there was, only Commentator 2 seems anywhere near capable of describing it. All the Mes are weary after a long drive back from Nottingham in the dead of night, but that can be no excuse in a professional sport. It might be worth hanging around for the metaphysical recriminations at the end, or if you just want to know who has won. But will we find out who guffed? When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Frame 7: An anonymous benefactor has sent Me1 and Me2 enough chalk to keep them podcasting for the next two decades and it seems to be having an affect on their play. Also the copies of Bye Bye Balham are gone (not sold alas) so there's a lot more room on the right hand side of the snooker board. Me 'the very very strong gale' 2 is in fighting mood, after having had his record break of last week (and his morality) questioned. And the referee is clearly shaken by having his authority questioned and gets confused about whose go it is on several occasions. But his decision/guess is final. Snooker is an unpredictable game and you never know what will happen, though you can probably assume it will involve some in/offs, some totally missed shots and Me2 shouting obscenities. But this is a crucial frame in the 1000+ frame series and the winner today will have a distinct advantage over his opponent. Can Commentator 2 predict the winner? You'll have to listen to find out.

Frame 6: After last week's shambolic performance everyone involved in this podcast is determined to show the world what they can achieve when they're at the height of their powers. And this week's broken records are much more pleasing, as the frame begins (almost) from the start with blistering hot snooker. Make no mistake, this is a sport, not a comedy, podcast and I don't think there is a genuine sports fan in the world who will not be on the edge of their seat during this competitive and twisting and turning frame. You couldn't write this stuff. You wouldn't write it. And believe me, no one has written it. We get to know the subtleties of our players' personalities a little more each week - who is the nice one, who is the nasty one? Which is which in the podcast picture? What lessons do they have to teach us about ourselves? Only by listening to every single second of this enterprise do you have any hope of finding out and while you're waiting, why not sit back and enjoy a person who isn't that good at snooker, play himself at snooker?

Frame 5: Both players have scores to settle and bad reputations to shake off in this crucial 5th frame of man versus himself snooker. Commentator 2 has some harsh truths to speak about the whole enterprise, which perhaps shake the rest of the Me crew to their core, because it's one of the shoddiest games of snooker with the worst possible commentaries you can imagine. But there are some of your questions answered at the start and an earth shattering (and genuinely unscheduled) phone call at the end, so I think it's worth listening to. Some Me snooker records are smashed to pieces and some hubris dished out and whispers of match fixing are bound to follow. A carelessly placed box of Hitler Moustache DVDs might have swung the whole game whilst the players show their true petulant and self-satisfied selves. Might this particularly poor podcast spell the end for this Icarus-like project (both in its vaunting ambition and its inevitable folly) and why am I suddenly getting so eloquent now the bloody thing is over? Maybe the whole project is about waiting for the idiots to get bored so I can reveal the true reason for doing this. Maybe there is gold hidden amongst the dung. The only way to find out is to gamble 40 minutes of your life to find out.

Frame 4: Me1 and Me2 have just been out for a gruelling six and three quarter mile run (they ran it in exactly the same time to the microsecond) and are now fit enough to tussle once again on the baizy board of snooker. And after the disappointing post-prandial amateurism of Frame 3 there is some dazzling snooker on offer today. I only wish you could have seen it. It was breathtaking. But it was only seen by the various Mes, none of whom seem capable of putting into words what has just happened in front of their own shared eyes. If you have any questions or words of support or opposition for any of the Mes then please do email them in to herring1967@gmail.com. If you want to see Richard Herring on what could be his last tour before he is institutionalised then visit richardherring.com for details. This is really all it is. This is all it's going to be. I hope you will cling on tight. It's going to be a long and terrifying ride.

Frame 4: Me1 and Me2 have just been out for a gruelling six and three quarter mile run (they ran it in exactly the same time to the microsecond) and are now fit enough to tussle once again on the baizy board of snooker. And after the disappointing post-prandial amateurism of Frame 3 there is some dazzling snooker on offer today. I only wish you could have seen it. It was breathtaking. But it was only seen by the various Mes, none of whom seem capable of putting into words what has just happened in front of their own shared eyes. If you have any questions or words of support or opposition for any of the Mes then please do email them in to herring1967@gmail.com. If you want to see Richard Herring on what could be his last tour before he is institutionalised then visit richardherring.com for details. This is really all it is. This is all it's going to be. I hope you will cling on tight. It's going to be a long and terrifying ride.