Me1 vs Me2 Snooker with Richard Herring

Winter Tourney QFs 3 and 4 - They Think It's All Over. Back on the old green board and we're so close to the final now that you can literally taste it. Serious Me is taking on Total Recall Me and Motorcycling Me is facing off to Female Me. There's still a chance that the final could be between two qualifiers. Or between a sexist and a woman. Or a Viking and someone serious. But by the end of this presentation you will know who the last four are and what all the permutations will be. God it's thrilling.

Self-Playing Snooker Winter Tourney - QFs 1 and 2 - Marmite Face. Richard has had to make a difficult choice re making money or maintaining the integrity of the one player sport. I wonder which he has chosen. Tonight Viking Me takes on Oversharing Me (in a terrible, but thrilling frame) and then Successful Me attempts to overcome Meninist Me. It's four of the least likeable players and two of them will be in the semi-finals and one will be in the Final. God help us. We're really ramping up to the denouement of this seemingly never-ending contest. You have to stick with us to the bitter end now.

From Me and All the Mes - It's been a tricky few weeks for all sorts of reasons but the second round matches end with a huge bang as Samuel Beckett Me takes on the never defeated Motorcycling Me and 'Legs' 11 takes on Self-Doubting Me. We've lost some big scalps and some even better accents in this tournament. Will the disappointment continue? You will be on the edge of your seat for both frames with some fine, fine snooker on the old green board. By the end of this broadcast you will know the names of the 8 Mes who will be battling it out over the next four weeks to win the truly amazing trophy.

Which Me Is It? - A weary Richard, full of crisps is finding all the balls flying out of pockets a little bit triggering. In the first frame there's some confusion about whether Me 4 or Me5 is playing Conspiracy Theory Me. It's very offensive when commentators think that all Mes look the same. Then Boring Me 14 takes on Total Recall Me 27. Will any of the competition's big characters get through to the quarter finals or do we need a European Super League? It's a terrible and tired event, but at least we are closer to knowing who will be the winner of this cursed tournament.

Half Empty Bawl Bag - After a brief intermission for bollock removal, the Mes are back. King of the World Me, so far unbeaten, takes on Successful Me and Northern Me attempts to defeat horrible Meninist Me. Surely Rich can control the results? He can't. He really can't. If things had turned out differently he might be doing John Oliver's job and John Oliver might be taking to himself in an attic (oh, he kind of is). Anyway business as usual - bad snooker, poor refereeing, weak commentary but maximum excitement. Come and see Rich in person LIVE at the Clapham Grand for five weeks of RHLSTP (or buy tickets for online viewing) https://claphamgrand.com/rhlstp/

Winter Tournament - Round 2, Matches 1 and 2. Rich is about to take a shortish break (geddit) but manages to get in two frames before lockdown, though the snooker board is warping by the second. Impressionist Me37 takes on Viking Me15 and Oversharing Me18 faces off to one of only two previous semi-finalists still in the contest Gay Me3. And there's some pearls amongst the excrement tonight. We'll meet again, don't know where don't know when, but one thing will be different on the next time we're together. Apologies for the many technical issues with this event. But it's all part of the fun.

It's a thrilling end to round one of the Winter Tournament as we finally find out who the last 16 players will be. Interestingly all finalists from the first three tournaments are already out, so we're guaranteed two virgin finalists (even more virgin if teenage me was still in). Tonight sees Female Me take on Somerset Me in one of the most exciting frames ever and then self-doubting me takes on oversensitive me in one of the most forgettable frames ever. Next week, if God be willing, we'll be back with the start of round two. Incredibly exciting times, especially for any five year olds watching.

We're approaching the end of round one and tonight sees the Titans that are Samuel Beckett Me and Italian Me fighting it out for the chance to play newcomer Motorcycling Me and perennial loser Northern Irish Me. There's controversy, there's a lot of xenophobia and there is some of the worst self-playing snooker that has ever been broadcast in any medium. Support us if you're with Amazon Prime by using your free sub to give us money (at no extra cost to yourself) every month) or become a monthly badger (with free snooker stickers whilst stocks last) at http://gofasterstripe.com/badges. And I am really sorry for all of this.

The winter tournament continues apace as the arena gets renamed during the broadcast as news filters through of a tragic demise. It's Boring Me versus Sleepy Me and Ventriloquist Dummy Me versus Total Recall Me, so at least one dull and at least one high concept character will be in the next round. But which ones. Only one way to find out. Plus this month's monthly badger draw winner announced - Next month it could be you. Support us here http://gofasterstripe.com/badges and get loads of extras. Or use your Amazon Prime membership to give us monthly cash at no extra cost to yourself.

Big Drama. Two self-playing snooker legends in action tonight in former champion Me31 and three times semi-finalist Me7. If they both win they will meet in round 2, but Conspiracy Theory Me, me 22 and Serious Me, Me4 will be doing their best to stop them. All in an arena named after a murdered horse. What more could you want? Use your Amazon Prime sub to help us make more content or become a badger at http://gofasterstripe.com/badges

After a week off to accommodate Richard's film career, we're full steam ahead with Teenage Me taking on Yorkshire Me and former champ Welsh Me taking on the lowlife that is Meninist Me. By the end of tonight 40 players will have become 28 and we'll be halfway to knowing the line-up for Round 2. But for now let's just sit back and enjoy some of the greatest self-playing snooker ever committed to tape.

Two huge frames this week, as another lockdown is confirmed LIVE on air (and that's great for self-playing snooker). Scotch Me takes on King of the World Me and Successful Me takes on Me2. Nearly all these players have been knocked out in round one in previous tournaments, but which of them will flop out again? Controversy in the chat room, but only cos the chat room aren't reading their tea-towels.

Winter Snooker Tournament - Round one, Matches 3 and 4. 2020 has been an amazing year for self-playing snooker - more action, BBC TV exposure and now this fourth tourney do the year. And it's a low profile match betwixt Me18 and Me12 where God will test his only begotten son and then a high profile and tense encounter between heavyweights Me3 and Me1, the former angry not to have been in the elite championship and the latter crowing about winning it. What will happen. Support us with an Amazon Prime sub or by becoming a monthly badger http://gofasterstripe.com/badges

Finally we're into the first round proper and the draw throws up some cup final matches for round one. But the first one is newcomer Impressionist Me37 versus Neanderthal Me17 (both of whom made it through the qualifying round). There's refereeing controversy in this one, but a blistering contest to start the thing off. And then it's Viking Me 15 versus former finalist Angry Me32. Very similar personalities, but who will triumph on the old green board tonight. This is what the days before Christmas were made for. Check out all the other shit on Rich's twitch channel here http://twitch.tv/rkherring

SPECIAL Winter Tourney - Preliminary Round 4 - Technical Difficulties. Rich has had a beer and a half and his camera has packed up. Will he be able to finish the preliminary rounds? Or play snooker inebriated? Meninist Me and Oversensitive Me are the former players playing for their place in the first round proper, but what aspects of Richard's personality will they meet around the old green board. And when can we get on with the actual tournament? Rich is tired, emotional and his mind is falling apart. So business as usual.