The New Man

Kwame Christian, Director of American Negotiation Institute discusses how ego, vanity, and “calling out” get in the way of resolving conflicts with family, business, politics, and race. Plus: tips for having more effective online discussions. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/06/kwame-christian-negotiation-conflict-resolution

Recently I learned a valuable lesson: that I could actually talk to my black friends about race instead of making assumptions and relying on the media or some idealogical group to tell me what to say, think, or do. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/06/how-to-talk-about-race

The Starbucks Shootout — Why trying not to screw up has us screw things up. An excerpt from This Book Will Make You Dangerous by Tripp Lanier. Learn more by visiting DangerousBookstore.com. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/06/this-book-will-make-you-dangerous-the-starbucks-shootout

How to Use Death to Become More Powerful. An excerpt from This Book Will Make You Dangerous by Tripp Lanier. Learn more by visiting DangerousBookstore.com. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/05/this-book-will-make-you-dangerous-step-into-power

Do you ever play it safe when it comes to money or sex? Do you take risks or only go for what appears to be a “sure thing?” How to get out of your own way, stop playing it safe, and find that mojo again. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/05/playing-it-safe

The audiobook introduction from This Book Will Make You Dangerous by Tripp Lanier. A very unconventional look at why I throw most success how-to books in the trash. Learn more by visiting DangerousBookstore.com. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/05/this-book-will-make-you-dangerous-tripp-lanier

With so much uncertainty, how do you deal with the uncomfortable feelings? What if it all came crashing down? What could possibly exist on the other side of your worst nightmare? https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/05/facing-fear

Confronting Fear, Scarcity, and Pressure. Will you follow the herd that’s freaking out or find the opportunity? Plus: using discomfort to find clarity, forging your own path, and why most guys settle. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/04/fear-scarcity-pressure

What do we do when success is unfulfilling? Do you think more success and status are the keys to lasting fulfillment? And what happens when our achievements leave us feeling empty? Plus: victim mentality and our comfort zone https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/03/unfulfilling-success

If you want more out of life then what’s really getting in the way? Why do we have such a hard time making a commitment? And what’s so wrong with trying to live happily ever after? https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/03/commitment-issues

How pro coach and New Man podcast host Tripp Lanier went from very confident to very lost; how he spent years dicking around while waiting for the perfect plan; and how he finally pulled his head out of his ass and got back on track. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/02/get-out-your-own-way

Tripp and Alyson Lanier discuss a bold way to start a relationship, making commitments, and the danger of being a nice guy. Also: Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, truth vs comfort, and the danger of waiting for the perfect plan. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2020/02/starting-relationship

Ash Ambirge The Middle Finger Project Have you ever suffered from “imposter syndrome”? Are you okay with simply chasing money or do you want your work to be meaningful, too? And how often do you tell yourself, “I will figure this out”? Today, The Middle Finger Project author Ash Ambirge is here to discuss how she went from growing up in a trailer park to middle class success to sleeping in a K-Mart parking lot with only $26 to her name to eventually making seven figures. In this interview: * Growing up in a trailer park * Being mentally tough * Being willing to rock the boat * Striving for middle class * Why becoming “normal” was so disappointing Plus: * Dealing with imposter syndrome * The feeling of “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.” * Doing work you’re proud of * Wanting our work to align with our values * Feeling guilty for wanting more out of life And: * Ash’s “sleeping in a K-Mart parking lot” story * “I will figure it out.” * The key to being “Unf*ckwithable” * The trouble of not having your own money * Learning how to provide value Click here for Ash Ambirge's book The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve. About Ash Ambirge Ash Ambirge is an internet entrepreneur, creative writer, speaker and advocate for women being brave & doing disobedient things with their careers and their lives. She is the author of The Middle Finger Project®, which is both the name of her hallmark lifestyle blog as well the title of her forthcoming book. Her voice has been called, “the most memorable on the Internet,” “original in a world with too little of it,” “not safe for work at all,” and also, “really kinda sweary,” which is definitely her favorite description. She splits her time between Philadelphia, PA, and traveling the world. Click here for Ash Ambirge's book The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve.  

Should You Settle or Blow Up Your Life? Do you feel guilty for wanting more out of life? Is it possible to outgrow your current profession or relationship? And would you have to blow up everything you care about in order to make a big change? Today my wife Alyson and I pick up where we left off in the previous episode entitled, The Emotionally Constipated Control Freak. In this conversation we explore taking responsibility for what we want, the seduction of settling, and the one question that kicked me in the gut. In this interview: * Living a split life * “Stop being a spoiled brat.” * Focusing on problems vs solutions * Feeling guilty for wanting more out of life Plus: * Have you outgrown your life? * The Drama Triangle - Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer * Shifting from bitching to focusing on what you want * Are you defensive or curious? * The fear of being broke and alone And: * “Do you feel like you’re settling?” * The myth: “I have to blow up my life in order to make a change.” * Are you being lulled to sleep? * Waiting for the perfect, safe plan * The phone call that changed Tripp’s life Interviews and videos discussed: * David Emerald interview * Drama Triangle video Click here for Tripp Lanier's book This Book Will Make You Dangerous: The Irreverent Guide for Men Who Refuse to Settle. About Alyson Lanier Alyson Lanier is a guide, coach, mentor, asskicker, counselor, and teacher. She received her BA, MA, and LPC in psychology, and has extensive training and certification in attachment work and Gestalt therapy, Transpersonal psychology, and Shambhala Buddhism. She has over 50,000 hours of therapeutic experience with individuals, couples, families, children, and adolescents in clinical and private settings. Halfway through her second decade of working in clinical and trauma informed therapeutic settings, Alyson realized psychotherapy alone was incomplete. In order to better serve her clients, Alyson broadened her professional toolbox with trainings and certifications in somatic sex education, energy work and consciousness development, and Ancestral Medicine work, a lineage repair approach to healing personal, family, and cultural burdens. Adding alternative and spiritual practices to her therapeutic offerings made sense for Alyson because her experience with animist traditions and supernatural encounters began at a very young age, and set the foundation for her life’s study and practice. Her encounters with other-than-human beings, Old World traditions, Shambhala Buddhist practice, and subtle energy work over the years have given her a unique and layered perspective that plants her feet firmly in seemingly antithetical worlds: clinical and transpersonal psychology; Eastern and Western philosophy; clinical diagnosis and energetic and spiritual traditions of healing. Alyson has learned to fully embrace this duality, and to use it to understand the lenses her clients are seeing through, how they’re metabolizing what’s coming through for them,

The Emotionally Constipated Control Freak How important is it for you to be in control? Do you ever feel like your life is out of alignment with your values? And what does it take to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply? Today my wife, Alyson Lanier, gets curious about the emotionally constipated guy I used to be back in my early 20’s. We talk about why I went to therapy, why I hated the idea of personal growth, and how my life looked amazing from the outside but was a fragmented mess on the inside. In this interview: * Does Alyson have a fart fetish? * Being a control freak * Trying to outrun my emotional world * Being afraid of women * Navigating an emotional minefield Plus: * Why I went to therapy * Dealing with loss * Considering suicide * The difference between relief and peace of mind * “The peace I was deeply wanting was on the other side of that thing I was avoiding.” And: * Ken Wilber’s The Marriage of Sense and Soul * Being out of alignment with inner values * “They’re going to think I’m weird.” * Playing it safe professionally * “Is this it? What now? Why can’t I just be happy here?” Click here for Tripp Lanier's book This Book Will Make You Dangerous: The Irreverent Guide for Men Who Refuse to Settle. About Alyson Lanier Alyson Lanier is a guide, coach, mentor, asskicker, counselor, and teacher. She received her BA, MA, and LPC in psychology, and has extensive training and certification in attachment work and Gestalt therapy, Transpersonal psychology, and Shambhala Buddhism. She has over 50,000 hours of therapeutic experience with individuals, couples, families, children, and adolescents in clinical and private settings. Halfway through her second decade of working in clinical and trauma informed therapeutic settings, Alyson realized psychotherapy alone was incomplete. In order to better serve her clients, Alyson broadened her professional toolbox with trainings and certifications in somatic sex education, energy work and consciousness development, and Ancestral Medicine work, a lineage repair approach to healing personal, family, and cultural burdens. Adding alternative and spiritual practices to her therapeutic offerings made sense for Alyson because her experience with animist traditions and supernatural encounters began at a very young age, and set the foundation for her life’s study and practice. Her encounters with other-than-human beings, Old World traditions, Shambhala Buddhist practice, and subtle energy work over the years have given her a unique and layered perspective that plants her feet firmly in seemingly antithetical worlds: clinical and transpersonal psychology; Eastern and Western philosophy; clinical diagnosis and energetic and spiritual traditions of healing. Alyson has learned to fully embrace this duality, and to use it to understand the lenses her clients are seeing through, how they’re metabolizing what’s coming through for them, and to lovingly stir shit up to help them level-up. Alyson delights in supporting her clients as they navigate their growth processes on psychological, physical, energetic, and spiritual levels. Her knowledge of psychology, development, and integral, energetic, and somatic studies give her a centered gravity, and her formative experiences and practices give her a rare wisdom. Her passion and humor spring from a desire to make the sacred profane and the profane sacred. Alyson approaches her transformative work with creative and dynamic interventions, serving her clients and groups as if the world depends on the fulfillment they are seeking,