The New Man

Teo Alfero Wolf Connection Do we have to do something crazy in order to have more meaning and purpose in our lives? Do our impulses mean we’re self absorbed or are they directed by forces beyond our understanding? And how would life be different if we were no longer trying to avoid discomfort or failure? My friend Teo Alfero has had a remarkable path in life that includes deep spiritual training and lots of wolves. He’s got a new book called The Wolf Connection. And today we talk about living a life grounded with responsibilities while also having a rich experience of what lies beyond our mental construct of reality. In this interview: * Making a radical move to the US to train with Carlos Castaneda * Shamanistic trainings * Why the ego rebels against spiritual practices * Walking a path with heart * “If I want something bad enough I’ll figure it out.” * Actions that seem impulsive or crazy Plus: * The creative/destructive nature of life * How we block ourselves from an extraordinary life * Why we feel frequently angry or confused * Why we want to “keep our pipes open” * How the Wolf Connection helps others * The Wolf Warrior Training for Men Click here for Teo Alfero's book The Wolf Connection: What Wolves Can Teach Us About Being Human. About Teo Alfero Born and raised in Argentina, Teo Alfero came to California in 1999. His passion for reaching out to young people in need of mentoring and guidance, combined with his unique understanding of the subtle yet powerful teachings of wolves inspired the creation of Wolf Connection, a sanctuary for wolves and wolfdogs north of Los Angeles. A thought leader and sought-after spiritual guide and advisor to influencers in the areas of science, technology, human potential, business, sports and entertainment, he is an experienced TedX speaker and now author of his first book, The Wolf Connection: What Wolves Can Teach Us About Being Human. Click here for Teo Alfero's book The Wolf Connection: What Wolves Can Teach Us About Being Human.

Robert Glover Dating Essentials for Men Are you single again after being in a long term relationship? Do you believe you have to play games in order to get a woman to go on a date with you? And are you scared to end a dating relationship because you don’t want her to get upset? Dr. Robert Glover wrote No More Mr Nice Guy and he’s back with a new book called Dating Essentials for Men. Today we talk about how we can approach dating without being a douchebag, set a high standard for the character of the women we want to date, and have the balls to get out of a lousy relationship before it’s too late. In this interview: * “The un-pickup approach to dating” * David D’Angelo and Double Your Dating * Giving women all the power in dating * David Deida — “Choose a woman who chooses you.” Plus: * Why most guys are settling in relationships * Our deep fear of pissing off women * Learning how to end relationships with compassion * Challenging your self limiting beliefs And: * Where do we find high quality women? * Choosing better women * “Moody, bitchy, and entitled lasts forever.” * How to “test for interest” * Dealing with “sh*t tests” Click here for Dr. Robert Glover's book Dating Essentials for Men: The Only Dating Guide You Will Ever Need. About Dr. Robert Glover Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life and Dating Essentials for Men. Dr. Glover is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome. He is a frequent guest on radio talk shows and has been featured in numerous local and national publications. Through his book, online classes, workshops, podcasts, blogs, consultation, and therapy groups, Dr. Glover has helped change the lives of countless men and women around the world. As a result of his work, Dr. Glover has helped thousands of Nice Guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males. Along with these personal changes have come similar transformations in these men's professional careers and intimate relationships. Dr. Glover is the creator of Dating Essentials for Men and the director of TPI University. Dr. Glover lives in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Stop Making Excuses: How to Quickly Pivot into Power Below is a transcript of this recording: Today we’re going to talk about excuses. More importantly, we’re going to learn how to listen to our excuses and use them to take powerful action. If we want to expand into greater freedom, aliveness, love, and peace then that means we’re going to be moving beyond what seems comfortable or safe. It means we’re going to invite small amounts of discomfort and risk and failure. And you can bet your butt that there’s gonna be some resistance. If we’re going to lie on our deathbed with any regrets, our regrets will have resistance to thank. So let’s expect resistance to crash the party and try to kill our momentum. Let’s expect resistance to try and convince us that a tiny speed bump is really a wall. And since resistance is the part of us that feeds our excuses, let’s run through some of the most common excuses I hear in my coaching sessions with clients. First up is the excuse that has us say… If I Make a Big Change Everything Will Fall Apart I talk to so many clients that have big dreams and even bigger excuses. They paint a wonderful picture for themselves and then grind to a halt because they believe they’ll have to do something reckless or dramatic that would endanger their family or lifestyle. It’s usually some story about having to quit their job, or get a divorce, or raise vast amounts of cash before they could even get started creating the thing they want to build. It’s some belief that says making this change means some huge, terrible thing will happen. But most of the time this kind of thing is just resistance. And convincing ourselves that the next step is reckless or dangerous is a highly effective way to rationalize staying in our comfort zone for years. But when I walk through these nightmares with clients, most of the time we come to realize they’re just fantasies. In reality, the next step isn’t drastic. It’s usually quite small and mundane. Our ego may want to believe that we’re the hero who has to slay some big dragon, but what’s more true is that we’re just a person facing an uncomfortable conversation, phone call, or task. There is no dragon. I once worked with a guy who told me he had this huge burning desire to start his own real estate investment company, but by gosh he just couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t moving forward. I asked him, “What do you think needs to happen before you can move forward?” He said, “Well, I would need to quit my job. And before I can do that I have to have X amount in the bank so my family is okay. And I’m just not saving it quickly enough. It’s going to take years at this rate.” I asked, “Ok. Well tell me this. What’s the first thing you would do after you had all of the money saved up, knew your family was safe, and had quit your job?” He thought about if for a little while and then said, “Well, I’d reach out to some mentors and start figuring out how to create this investment deal. I’d research what would make it work for them, that kinda thing.” “And do you really need to quit your job in order to do that?” “Huh. I guess not.” If resistance has us believing that we need to quit our job, or sell our business, or have a ton of money in the bank before we can do the thing we really want to do — then let’s first imagine we’ve already done those things. Let’s put ourselves in that situation mentally. Now if this were true, what would be the very next practical step we’d take? What we’re likely to see is that this step is not dependent on our professional or financial or relational situation. We can see that this step is within reach today. And while it may be a little scary, it’s something we can do right now.

Mark Manson Everything is F*cked What happens after you make all of your dreams come true? What if hope is just another form of evil? And are we making life harder than it needs to be? Mark Manson sold millions of copies of his last book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and he’s back with a new one called Everything is F*cked. Today we talk about why he’s out to slaughter our sacred cows, why hope makes us fight one another, and why success tends to make us weak. In this interview: * Why selling millions of books created a big problem for Mark Manson * “What is happening to our world?” * Being desperate to hear that everything will be okay * Why hope creates conflict * Why everyone is religious to a certain extent Plus: * Why we’ll never truly escape pain * Why we need enemies to unite us * Self sabotage and why we make life harder than it needs to be * Why guys get more fragile as they get richer * Why we don’t have a masculinity problem - we have a maturity problem * Mark’s past issues with women Click here for Mark Manson's book Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope. About Mark Manson WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY SHOULD I TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY? Mark Manson in 2017Just some guy who reads a lot. And don’t take anything I say seriously. Unless you want to, of course. But the point is to think for yourself. If you like some of the things I say, great. If not, that’s fine too. But, to answer your question, my name is Mark Manson. I’m 33 years old. I grew up in Austin, Texas. Went to school and lived in Boston. Graduated from Boston University in 2007. A couple years later, I started an online business (and the earliest form of this blog) and traveled and lived all over the world for about seven years. Ended up marrying a Brazilian. Now I live in New York City. SO, WHY DO YOU WRITE ABOUT ALL THIS STUFF? Most of what I write is written for myself, first and foremost. I don’t share these ideas because I think I’m right and other people are wrong. I write them because I think I’m wrong, and correcting my own misjudgments on a public platform seems to help out a lot of other people in the process. HOW WOULD YOU SUMMARIZE YOUR PHILOSOPHY? We’re all wrong about everything, some just a little less wrong than others. Everything sucks some of the time, and that’s OK — happiness is learning how to appreciate the struggles in your life. There are more stars in the universe than grains of sand on the planet, you couldn’t be special even if you wanted to be, so stop trying to prove yourself all the time. Trying to prove something to yourself and others is the root of most misery. Life is about solving problems. Therefore, learn how to pick good problems. Avoiding problems just makes everything worse. Human emotions are flawed. Always be skeptical of yourself, no matter what. Let go of your identity,

Peter Gray - Why Play is the Key to Leadership, Strength, Adaptability Do you ever wonder if life is just a series of hoops we have to jump through? How much of our lives do we spend focusing on money and making sure we don’t end up as a failure? And why is it so rare to find people who can lead their own path and easily adapt to the changes in our world? If you’re one of those guys who is struggling to find what has you feel alive, it’s probably because you’ve forgotten how to truly play. Peter Gray Ph.D. is a research professor at Boston College that studies play. And today we’re going to find out how play is the key to leadership, innovative thinking, problem solving, and doing what has us feel alive. We’ll also talk about why our highly structured, competitive environment that’s meant to give us an advantage is actually making us weaker, depressed, and breeding us to become robots. In this interview: * Why play is a strength instead of a threat * Does play mean we’ll be irresponsible failures in life? * Why people can’t think outside of the box * How we can become adaptive in today’s economy * Why it doesn’t really matter what college you go to Plus: * How a lack of play causes depression and anxiety * The 4 keys elements to play * How we’re being trained to be better followers instead of leaders * What truly makes us more brave and strong * Why most folks just want someone to tell them what to do Click here for Peter Gray's book Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life. Peter Gray (born 1946) is an American researcher and scholar who is a research professor of psychology at Boston College. He is the author of a widely used introductory psychology textbook, Psychology (Worth Publishers, with co-author David Bjorklund beginning with the 7th edition),[1] now in its seventh edition. The book broke new ground when the first edition was published (in 1991) as the first general introductory psychology textbook that brought a Darwinian perspective to the entire field. He is also author of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life (Basic Books, 2013), and he writes a popular blog for Psychology Today magazine entitled "Freedom to Learn". Gray is a well-known critic of standard educational systems and is frequently invited to speak to groups of educators, parents, and researchers about children's needs for free play, the psychological damage inflicted on children through our present methods of schooling, and the ways in which children are designed, by natural selection, to control their own education. He is a founder and current board president of the Alliance for Self-Directed Education, which is dedicated to promoting opportunities for Self-directed education for children and teenagers as replacement for coercive schooling.

Jayson Gaddis Relationship Warrior Is your relationship like tolerating a rock in your shoe? Do you find yourself looking for greener grass when a problem shows up with your partner? And do you think you could get an erection while standing on the 50 yard line during the Super Bowl? Jayson Gaddis is the founder of The Relationship School. Today we talk about what makes our relationships so draining, what it means to become a Relationship Warrior, and what your erection — or lack of one — is trying to tell you. You can learn more about Jayson’s relationship program for men by visiting RelationshipSchool.com/newman. In this interview: * Fighting, blaming, not enough sex * Taking responsibility vs blaming it all on your partner * Distracting ourselves with work, news, social media, porn * Why expecting too much from our partner kills sexual attraction * What is a “relationship warrior”? Plus: * Why we tolerate draining relationships * A quick way to find the purpose in your life * What Jayson learned from having erection issues * Why focusing on sexual performance kills good sex * Why putting your partner on a pedestal can kill sexual attraction (Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links which means that, with zero cost to you, The New Man will earn a commission if you click the link and purchase the program.) You can learn more about Jayson’s relationship program for men by visiting RelationshipSchool.com/newman. About Jayson Gaddis Jayson Gaddis, relationship student & teacher and host of the Smart Couple Podcast, is on a mission to teach people the one class they didn’t get in school–”How to do Romantic Relationships.” That’s why he founded The Relationship School®. He was emotionally constipated for years before relationship failure forced him to turn his life over to learning about relationships. Now, he’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 (after some brutal break ups) and has two beautiful kids. When he doesn’t live and breathe this stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him. He gets you the relationship results you want, fast. He will teach you how to use conflict to create a more fulfilling and sustainable relationship. He teaches virtual relationship empowerment classes to students around the globe. Jayson teaches you that hidden within any and all relationship pain are the seeds of you getting more empowered in your life and more connected to yourself. Even though many of his school teachers said he sucked at writing, he writes anyway. His first book for the Smart Couple’s will be out November 2017. He has also written for The Good Men Project, Elephant Journal, Your Tango, The Jungle Of Life, Primer Magazine, Integral Life, and Recovering Yogi. You can learn more about Jayson’s relationship program for men by visiting RelationshipSchool.com/newman.

Jon Mitchell Functional Medicine Health Consultant put a lot of time, money, and energy into his career and then realized it wasn’t for him. Instead of staying stuck, Jon hired a coach, stopped hiding out, and created his own opportunities. In this interview we talked about how he shifted his mindset, turned pro, and took bold action to shift his career path. Also: How Jon Mitchell helps people optimize their bodies, brains, and energy and combats chronic disease.

Relationship Advice - How to Communicate Without Arguing. Relationships go off the rails when we believe we can’t talk about challenging things with our partner. We avoid certain topics because we’re afraid of a fight, strong emotions, rejection, or worse. Too many of us are settling and tolerating a relationship that leaves us feeling drained, trapped, stressed, or bored. In this discussion Tripp and Alyson Lanier share practical tips for getting relationships back on track.

Intuition and Trusting Your Gut - Rick Snyder author of Decisive Intuition: Use Your Gut Instincts to Make Smart Business Decisions. Why denying our instincts makes us weak. How Snapchat’s Evan Spiegel lost billions by using intuition incorrectly. How to use your gut to be more powerful in life, work, and relationships.

No Longer Passionate About Work? An excerpt from a coaching conversation with Tripp Lanier. In this call, we explore some of the reasons why my client was feeling stuck and unable to see any attractive professional opportunities in front of him. Plus: How our mindset determines whether we’ll stay stuck doing the same old thing or if we’ll expand into the next phase of our lives.

Jonathan Haidt thinks we frequently lie to ourselves as a way to rationalize emotional choices. So should we become Vulcans, living lives devoid of anything rewarding? Or can we tap into our emotions so that we’re more powerful? Plus we’ll also talk about how good intentions are creating a generation of fragile young people.

Do you depend on fear for motivation? Do you make progress but still feel anxious, tired, or under pressure? And is success really just a strategy to outrun the things that scare you? In this conversation with Craig Revord we talk about how he’s learned to find power, face major fears, and get off the hamster wheel all while growing his business.

Robert Kandell Unhidden - Reclaim Energy, Power, and Confidence What would you say if your wife asked you to go to an orgy? Would you want your partner to lie to you just so you can feel safe and comfortable? And how much of your life is spent worrying about what others may think of you? Rob Kandell just wrote a book called Unhidden where he explores why so many guys are feeling drained and exhausted in our relationships and work. We’re also going to talk about why he believes it’s a challenging time to be a man, and why there are so many “successful” guys out there who don’t feel fulfilled. In this interview: * Is your girlfriend or wife or partner the last person you want to kiss? * Is it a challenging time to be a man? * How do you care less about what others think about you? * How to claim more energy * Why we’re programmed to be in unhealthy relationships and patterns Plus: * Self imposed celibacy * Boys and men don’t know how to act or who to be anymore * Why it’s the best time to be a man * Why guys are afraid to complain * “Successful guys” who are unfulfilled Books discussed: * Michael Kimmel Angry White Guys * Michelle Masters Money Magic Click here for Robert Kandell's book unHIDDEN: A Book For Men and Those Confused by Them. About Robert Kandell Robert Kandell has been helping men find themselves for fourteen years. By creating a relationship of absolute approval with his clients he is able to see the parts, which are hidden in their shadows: fetishes, hurts and hidden desires. With a loving hand, he encourages men to accept these traits and utilize them as internal power. An expert in interpersonal communication and relationships, he has helped thousands of students find a more balanced, energized life with better relationships, more sex and more happiness. His coaching style is challenging, fraternal and highly rewarding and definitely not for the faint hearted, he has been described as “part football coach, part loving dad and part slightly crazed drill sergeant”. He is the host of the highly successes podcast, Tuff Love. To learn more about Robert and his revolutionary work, visit www.RobertKandell.com Click here for Robert Kandell's book unHIDDEN: A Book For Men and Those Confused by Them.

In May of 2007 at the age of 49, Dave Baker a competitive athlete and lifeguard went through, let’s just say, an “incident”. This is his story — what happened, how he recovered, and why he refused to just “exist” after getting a second chance at life. Guest: Dave Baker, Wrightsville Beach Ocean Rescue Director

Human guinea pig and bestselling author AJ Jacobs (Thanks a Thousand) returns to discuss what he’s learned from his latest long term experiment. This time he’s set out to explore what will make him less grouchy — and it all starts with a simple cup of coffee. Also: Year of Living Biblically, Drop Dead Healthy