Messy Family Podcast : Catholic conversations on marriage and family

 All great change in America begins at the dinner table. ~Ronald Reagan Those of us who grew up with family dinners and who continue that tradition with our kids may not realize how counter-cultural we are becoming! Having dinner as a family is one thing you can do for your children to help keep them healthy, emotionally stable, and academically successful. It’s a simple thing, but why doesn’t every family have dinner together? In this podcast we discuss why family dinners are an important part of our parenting, why they can be challenging, and some ideas to make your mealtime even better than it is now! Listen in and join the conversation. Show Notes: * Grace Before Meals with Fr. Leo * Family Dinner Games * Once a Month Cooking or get their cook book * Once a month meals * Family Dinner Project

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal faithfully are His delight. Prov 12:22 One of the trickiest situations to deal with in parenting is when a child is lying.  Do you punish them?  If you do that, won’t they keep lying to avoid punishment in the future?  How do you know they are lying?  What if you think they are lying and they are actually telling the truth?  In this podcast we will share with you what we did in our family when we had kids who were in the habit of lying in our household.  There is not a “one size fits all” approach to this issue, but we can give you some ideas and suggestions as we share our experiences with you.

“You get in the biggest fights with those you care about most because those are the relationships worth fighting for” “A happy marriage is a union of two forgivers” – Ruth Bell Graham The only person in the world you will always agree with is yourself. Especially in marriage, people are going to disagree and this can lead to heated arguments between two people who really love each other. This is normal and healthy! We have to fight to work out our differences and come to a greater unity in our marriage. The goal of an argument should not be to be right, but to be unified. Even if you disagree, arguments should lead to greater clarity and understanding. In this podcast, we talk about why to argue, principles for good arguing, and some basic ground rules.

“For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison.” – Teddy Roosevelt Being blessed with a large family is something that some couples long for and something that some couples don’t even expect! Having 10 children we have a pretty realistic perspective on having more than 5 kids (which seems medium-sized to us!) There are considerations to being open to having more kids that are deeper than “why not?” There are challenges that parents need to think about because we are co-creators with God and that is not a responsibility to be taken lightly. We know many people who have had an amazing experience growing up in a big family, but there are some people who were deeply scarred because their parents weren’t ready for what was coming. Parents can never forget that they have a responsibility to not just give life, but also educate that life as well. We would like to share our experience with you to encourage you to be intentional about planning for what lies ahead if God blesses you with a bunch of kids! Show Notes: * Familiaris Consortio #28 (or buy it at Amazon) * Pope Francis to Family Associations (Feast of the Holy Family 2014) * Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan * NFP info from USCCB * NFP info from CCL   “I guess the reasons against having more children always seemed uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life … each one of them has been a pump of light into my shriveled black heart.” – Jim Gaffigan

“The family that prays together, stays together” Family prayer should be the center of our lives as Catholics, but often parents find it challenging. Praying consistently with our kids is not our strength, so of course that’s why we wanted to address it! You need to find a type of prayer that works for you, and don’t worry about how “well” you pray. The Lord just wants to hear from you and your children need to see your example (especially you dads!). Our entire lives need to be submitted to the Lord, knowing that all we have is from Him. Show Notes   * Study shows importance of fathers in passing on faith – Great Article * The Sacred Heart Devotion * 33 Days to Morning Glory * Jesus Christ: The Holy One of God * Familiaris Consortio

You want to know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning and then someone hands you a baby. ~ Jim Gaffigan We believe the most challenging years of parenting are not related to how many kids you have, but rather how close in age they are. Young families say to us all the time, ”We shouldn’t complain because we only have three kids and you have ten.” This is not true! The period of time when your family consists of kids who are all in car seats, can’t tie their own shoes, and are barely potty trained is an extremely difficult time. Be encouraged! This is a phase that doesn’t last forever (though it feels like an eternity at the time). Just think- if you can survive this, you can survive anything! Mentioned in this episode:  Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan, 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

“Do you know why God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac when he was 12? Because if he asked him when he was 14 it wouldn’t have been a sacrifice!” The changes that happens in adolescence – physically, emotionally, mentally – are very similar to the changes that happen during the toddler years. In both stages your child is developing in leaps and bounds and you are the one God has tasked to guide them. In this podcast, we share some of our ideas and what we have done with our children to create rites of passage, give information when they need it, and helping them solidify their gender identity. This is a crucial time in the lives of our children and its important to be intentional and have a plan of how you are going to help them and love them during this time. This is geared especially for parents with kids in the “tween” and early teen years, 11-14. We discuss these resources in our podcast today: * Why Gender Matters * Preparing for Adolescence * Wild at Heart * Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters * Bring up Boys * Passport 2 Purity (from a listener) If you have gone down this road before what has helped you? Any resources you would recommend?

“Give me an army of toddlers and I can overtake the world!”-Dr. James Dobson.The toddler years are an amazing time of human development, but this transition from infancy to childhood is challenging for most parents. Join us for encouragement and tips.

“There goes a future choir member” – said by our pastor as we rushed out of church with our screaming toddler.  Getting kids through mass is a challenge for any Catholic parent.  We can give you alot of empathy and some tips as well.  Listen in!

“Parents don’t want justice – parents want peace!”  Isn’t that how we all feel sometimes? We do want peace in our homes, but we also want to teach our kids how to handle conflict.  Kids are going to fight. It’s a fact. How do we deal with that?

This is our first podcast conversation on marriage and family. This is our basic approach to marriage and family; our parenting philosophy and overall approach to family life. What books have you read and what drives your approach to parenting?