Messy Family Podcast : Catholic conversations on marriage and family

  …I promise to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. ~ wedding vows A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime ~ Engaged Encounter slogan Our wedding was a day to remember for many reasons. First of all, we both married our best friend and began the greatest adventure of our lives. Also, it was a complete disaster by wedding standards. An ice storm in Philadelphia caused power outages, hazardous driving conditions, and canceled plans for many of our guests. In this podcast, we share our story so all of you can feel great about your weddings, even if they didn’t go as planned!  

“Am I not here, I, who am your mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms? Do you need anything more? Let nothing else worry you, disturb you.” ~Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego The Virgin Mary is not only a model and intercessor for us to Jesus, but she is also our Mother. She is the crown of God’s creation and a great gift to us from the Father. Who is this woman? Why is she so special? Why should we introduce our children to her? In this podcast we answer these questions while sharing our own experiences and thoughts on this amazing woman. Resources: * What is Marian Consecration? (3 minute video) * Divine Mercy and Mary (1 hour video from EWTN show) * Best book >> 33 Days to Morning Glory * Consecrating a child to the Blessed Virgin Mary (prayer)  

Do or do not… there is no try. – Yoda Failing to plan is planning to fail. – Ben Franklin Your family is your own little corporation and you are president of the board. Well, maybe not exactly, but you and your spouse are the partners in running your home, and how can you do that effectively without a plan? Once a year it’s a good idea to get away, dream a little and make a plan. A Family Board Meeting isn’t about success or failure; it’s about being unified as a couple in your vision and goals for your family. Links: • Family Board Meeting post @ www.realhonestliving.com • Three Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni • Michael Hyatt — Beginner’s Guide to Goal Setting • Family Mission and Vision (Stephen Covey) via Art of Manliness

“Musical nourishment which is ‘rich in vitamins’ is essential for children.” ~Zoltan Kodaly, music educator Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. ~Plato Music is a powerful tool, a vehicle for ideas, emotions, and stimulation that is absolutely unique. As parents, we need to train our children to recognize music that is good and music that is not worth listening to. By exposing our children to lots of different types of music we can help them to make judgments and choose what is good. We can’t underestimate the importance of music in our culture and in our home.

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. “ – Matt 18: 15 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” – 2 Cor 12:9 As a married person, we have a duty, a solemn obligation to help to get our spouse to heaven. Sometimes that happens because we can be a cross for our spouse ☺, but sometimes we need to help our beloved by pointing out things in their lives that need to change in order for them to grow in virtue. This is more than just a difference in values – most of those are not a moral issues – this correction is regarding sinful patterns of behavior or vices that need to be rooted out. How do we do this? How do we know when to speak up and when to just pray or be silent? How do we get the courage needed to have this conversation with love?

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5 Thanksgiving and Christmas are times of great joy and celebration, but can also be times of unprecedented stress and conflict. Buying gifts, traveling to see extended family, keeping traditions, are all important aspects of the holidays. How do Catholic families enjoy this while also keeping Christ as the center of our holidays? How do we love our families while we are striving to keep the peace and make everything perfect for our kids? Listen in as we discuss these challenges and ways that we have dealt with them in our household. More on this at the Visiting Family podcast Some Advent ideas: 9 Things to do to make a more meaningful Advent #ShareJesus and Dynamic Catholic

“With great power comes great responsibility” ~ Ben Parker (Spiderman’s Uncle) As Catholics, we have a great blessing in the clarity and beauty of the Church’s teaching on contraception. Using the natural rhythms of a woman’s cycle to regulate birth is a way that couples use the reason of science as they are informed by the light of Faith. NFP is a gift, but it’s also a challenge! It’s hard to deny our bodies when our culture is telling us that we deserve every comfort as well as instant gratification.  In this podcast, we talk about the gift of NFP, but also the reality of the cross of denying ourselves. Listen in and tell us what you think! Link and Resources: * Humanae Vitae * Dr. Janet Smith * Couple to Couple League * NaProTechnology (Creighton Model of NFP) * USCCB on Natural Family Planning * Theology of the Body Institute

You might be a millennial parent if you… have more pictures of your kids than you do of yourself on social media, feed your kids only organic food, regularly ask the internet for parenting advice, have a tattoo or piercing, or… The generation born between 1980-2000 has a particular way of parenting that is unique. Recently TIME magazine ran an article called “Help! My Parents are Millennials!” and we thought it would be a good idea to address some of the issues it brought to light. This generation is effected by the culture in some very good ways, but also in some very unhealthy ways. Its important to be open-minded, tolerant, and questioning, but not at the expense of being obedient, respectful and humble. In this podcast we look at how Millennials are parenting their children and what their particular challenges are. Link to articles: * TIME Millennial parents raising kids poll * Summary from Mother Mag  

“…parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children. Their role as educators is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it.” ~ Familiaris Consortio #36 Making educational choices for our children is a task that is daunting and stressful for most parents. How do parents know what will be best for their children and for their family? The reality is that no one can make this decision for you. Parents need the grace of God to consider homeschooling, public school, or Catholic school and chose what is best for their child. In this podcast we give some principles that we have used to guide our decisions and share some experiences of all the different schooling options we have chosen.

“What I do, you cannot.  What you do, I cannot.  But together we can make something beautiful for God” ~ Blessed Mother Teresa In our culture today, kids have so many options for activities that it can be overwhelming!  How do you balance family life with sports, theater, groups, and community events especially when you have many children?  Exposure to different activities is important, because children have talents that should be discovered. Nevertheless, we are doing a great disservice to our kids when we tell them that they “can do anything they put their mind to” because that simply isn’t true.  We all have unique gifts given to us that we need to discover, and part of being a parent is to guide our children through this process and eliminate things on the way.  

To go on pilgrimage really means to step out of ourselves to encounter God where He has revealed Himself, where His grace has shone with particular splendor, and produced rich fruits of conversion and holiness ~ Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI We as Catholics are incarnational people – part of the richness of being Catholic is that we can see and touch the elements of our faith!  Bringing our children to holy sites like special shrines, homes of the saints, or places of miracles helps us to make the faith real to them.  These aren’t just trips; pilgrimages are spiritual journeys that bring together what we know in our hearts and what we see with our eyes.  In this podcast, we share about two pilgrimages that we recently went on – to the Holy Land and to Philadelphia to see the Holy Father.   Listen in as we discuss how these holy journeys have strengthened our faith and inspired our children.

“Where there is a family with love, that family is capable of warming the heart of a whole city with its witness of love.” – Pope Francis Our Holy Father has a pastor’s heart, but often his quotes become controversial. He speaks directly to families, those suffering, and to those in power in a frank, honest fashion. With the Holy Father coming to the United States and the upcoming Synod on the Family, we are taking time in this podcast to discuss his words, some of his challenging comments, and why some of the things he says are taken in a negative light. We all have a responsibility to prayerfully reflect on his words with the knowledge that they are spoken by the Vicar of Christ. We welcome you to listen to our thoughts and share your opinions with us. Show Links * Live Stream of World Meeting of Families and Papal Visit * Prayer for the Synod on the Family * Love is our Mission: The Family Fully Alive

Pope St. Gregory: Learn the heart of God from the word of God. St. Jerome: Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. How is the Word of God honored in our homes? God is present in His Word; do we truly realize that? As Catholics, we need to surround our children with scripture through stories, prayer, teaching, and song. We should be using the Bible to pass on the faith to our children, for it is through the Bible that they will come to know who Jesus is and hear Him speaking to them. Great Resources: * iBreviary * Scripture Studies from Scott Hahn and St. Paul Center * Alicia’s CD (songs help memorize scripture)

Nothing makes a father happier than seeing a daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes. – Willie Robertson Your natural instinct is to protect your daughter. Forget what pop culture and pop psychologists tell you. DO IT. – Dr. Meg Meeker Daughters AND sons need direction and guidance when it comes to dating. The world tells us that dating is private and we have no business “meddling” in our teens affairs. Nothing is farther from the truth! Kids need mom and dad’s wisdom on navigating the perilous world of relationships and emotions. We have some practical advice to give from our own experience that we can share with you. Parents have to be intentional about discussing relationships with their kids and make a safe place for them to be honest and vulnerable, so they don’t go seeking affirmation in the wrong places. Dating is another area in which Catholic families can affect the world in a positive way by our example. Listen in! Hernon Ground Rules for Dating (heavily copied from Jennifer Degler)

Your marriage is only as good as the work you put into it. A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their “happiness” is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living. ~Breathing Grace, Everything I Know About Marriage in 200 Words or Less How often to we take the time to show our spouse that they are “Number One” in our lives? Dedicated time alone without the children is an essential part of any healthy marriage. The foundation of your family is your marriage and we should never, ever take for granted that we are doing fine. In this episode we talk about the importance of a Date Night and Get Away Weekends. We also address two listener questions – one on toy guns and the other on how to have effective family time. Listen in and start the discussion on how and why we should all spend quality time with our beloved in order to improve our family life.