Messy Family Podcast : Catholic conversations on marriage and family

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29 The words that are spoken in our home can create an atmosphere of trust, openness and honesty or one of hostility and distrust. We need to banish from our homes sarcasm and negative humor because they tear down family members instead of building them up. There are many ways that we can use our words to encourage our children and our spouses. We need to take the time to honor and love our family with our words so our home can be a safe place for our children to thrive and grow.

“Half of the time I feel like I’m running an insane asylum… the other half of the time I feel like I belong in one. “ There are so many needs pressing on parents, especially moms, all day, every day. How can we prioritize our time and energy to create an orderly life for ourselves and our family? In the book A Mother’s Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot describes the Six Priorities of Life that can help us create a routine in our day and make decisions that will help us use our time wisely and effectively. Despite what your children think, mothers can’t do everything! Moms (and dads!) can create a balanced life by giving priority first to Prayer then to Person, Partner, Parent, Provider, and Periphery (everything else!). If you enjoy this podcast, contact us about having Alicia come to speak to your parish or group to do a full presentation with more information on this topic.

“My name is Rod and I like to party.” – Andy Samburg in Hot Rod To be Catholic is to love to party, because every mass is a party and a foretaste of heaven! Celebrations are an important way to communicate our values to our children and to the world. By investing our time and treasure to gather friends and family together we are saying, “This is an important event!” As Catholics, we need to reclaim the sacraments and holidays as times to feast and celebrate. This is how we can rebuild our Catholic culture and revive our communities. Listen in as we tell you about the crazy party WE had last weekend!

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. ~George Washington A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter. He who finds one finds a treasure. Sirach 6:14 It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, but the village is certainly an important part of his growth and development! The friendships that our children have are an important training ground for life, even at the earliest age. As parents, we can’t micromanage our children’s friendships, but we can guide them and provide a fertile environment for healthy relationships to grow. It’s important to do this when they are young, because as they grow friendships become more and more important and parents have less and less influence over those friendships. Listen in as we discuss this topic and its importance in the lives of our children.

“Why did God make you? God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.” – Baltimore Catechism Dealing with the loss of life is difficult for adults and for children. Our generation is more poorly equipped than any other before us to deal with this issue, because we have been told that we are in control of our own lives, and this simply is not true. As Catholics we have a the great gift of our faith to form our hearts and inform our minds so we can embrace the suffering that death brings. In this podcast we share our own stories of loss and give some ideas for talking with your children about this issue. This podcast ends with a special song written by a mother who suffered the loss of her child and God’s response to her. Show Notes: * Cornerstone of Hope ( great resource for those suffering from loss) * Story of our nephew Joshua Michael site (Regina Doman) * Interested in Alicia’s CD or music visit Alicia Hernon.com

Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. ~ Deut 5:16 “Life is short, family is forever” We all have a family that we have come from, our family of origin, and sometimes they are very different than ourselves. Visiting grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws can be stressful, but it is also extremely important for the well-being of our children. In this podcast we talk about the importance of visiting family, but also some issues that couples need to discuss ahead of time.

The task now for believers is to form our own families even more deeply in the love of God, and to rebuild a healthy marriage culture, one marriage at a time, from the debris of today’s decision. – Archbishop Chaput The Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the bans on same sex marriage in many ways was no surprise. The Judeo- Christian values that have supported our culture for so long have been eroding since the 1930s. In this podcast we share our reflections on this decision and what this means for our families going forward. We need to renew and strengthen the meaning and value of Catholic marriage so we can be a light in the darkness.

“All it requires is that you be a man, a real man, which means a man of courage, perseverance, and integrity. You were made a man for a reason. You were made a man to be strong, long husband and father. So listen to your instincts and do what’s right. Be a hero.” – Dr. Meg Meeker Fatherhood is devalued, under appreciated, and desperately needed in our society. Why is fatherhood so important? Why is it so hard for men to be good fathers? In this podcast we discuss how our relationship with God the Father is the key to embracing who we are as parents. In addition, every man has a role as priest, prophet and king and his family. Let’s talk about what that means so every man can come to a deeper understanding of his role as a father. Show Notes: * Dr. Meg Meeker – What only a dad can give * Great short film from David Henrie — well worth watching Catch

I love playing with preschoolers. They make me feel so powerful! Family game night is quickly becoming lost in our technological age, but it is an extremely valuable pastime for families with many benefits. Not only can games bring people together, but they also exercise our brains and people skills while having fun! Listen in as we discuss why we play games with our family, the types of games to play, and some obstacles we have encountered with our kids. What are your top three family games when you were growing up or now?

“There are no such thing as stupid questions – only stupid people” (but not your questions!) All of you out there have helped to make this a lot of fun for us and we love to hear from you! We have gotten lots of encouraging comments from our listeners, but also some really great questions. In this episode we decided to take some time to answer some of the insightful questions we have gotten from all of you out there, so this is a very eclectic podcast! Some of the topics we cover include: sleeping situations, dealing with kids who don’t want to ask forgiveness, reading suggestions for newly married couples, family routines, and more. Thank you for all who sent in questions – keep them coming so we can address them in future podcasts! Referenced Links: * Exceptional Marriages (Dr. Greg Popcak — resources and radio show) * 5 Love Languages * Family Meals * Sibling Conflict * Theology of the Body for Teens * Preparing for Adolescence (preparation and rites of passage) * Family Prayer (special link: Book  and Ceremony for Enthronement of the Sacred Heart)

Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits. Changes in technology happen rapidly and kids are usually way ahead of their parents on the newest app, social media, or website. It is hard, or even impossible, for parents to keep up! Some choose to keep their children away from all screens, and though sometimes we envy these people, this is not the route that we have chosen. The reality is that these things are here to stay, and as parents we need to prepare our children to become responsible adults who can function in this world with self-control and discernment. There is no easy answer, but we can offer some encouragement and perspective!

Sometimes we try to love someone in a language they don’t understand. We all know that our mission is to love our spouses and our children, but how do we communicate that love to them? How do we speak so that others can understand what we are saying? Gary Campbell has written a book that we have referred to often called The Five Love Languages and it is a great way to figure out how to speak in the way that our family can understand our love. * The 5 Love Languages (website and resources) * 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman  

“The ability of a child to do a chore is inversely proportionate to their desire to do it.” ~said Frustrated Mother Chores are a part of every family’s life, or at least they should be. Sometimes parents find it easier to just do things themselves, but this does not teach responsibility nor the essential life skills every person needs. So why are chores valuable? More importantly, how can we get our kids to do them? Show Notes: * Maria Montessori’s Philosophy on children’s work * Age-appropriate chores from Focus on the Family * Happy Housewife chores based on age

“Wives be subject to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the Church, his body and himself his Savior” Eph 5:22 People hear this reading in the pews and start squirming! Why is that? This is an integral passage to understand not only the relationship between husbands and wives, but in understanding how we can image God to each other. We have found that often this passage is misinterpreted and misunderstood. After years of thinking about this and living it out in our marriage we offer a different perspective in this podcast. The heart of what we talk about is how God wants to love each husband and each wife through their spouse. Marital love is a powerful thing because God wants to use it to show us His powerful awesome love. Listen in as we offer our perspective on this compelling passage of God’s word. Show Notes: * Fr. John Riccardo podcast on Biblical Vision for Marriage * This Inspired Life (Interview with Alicia on Ephesians 5) * Old article Alicia wrote on Submission ( from 1998!)

“…the happiness you are seeking, the happiness you have the right to enjoy, has a face and a name. It is Jesus of Nazareth, hidden in the Eucharist” – Pope Benedict XVI The only way our faith as Catholics makes any sense is when we see our lives as a journey to deepen our relationship with Jesus. If our lives aren’t about Him- what is the point? In this podcast, Mike and Alicia interview Alicia’s parents, John and Michele Doman who are the parents of 10 and grandparents to over 40 young Catholics! Amazingly, and by God’s grace, all of the Doman children are living lives as dynamic Catholics – married and in the priesthood. John and Michele discuss their own faith journey and how they guided their children into a relationship with Christ over the years. There is much wisdom in their words, as well as humor and honesty. What a wonderful resource to hear from a couple so in love with the Lord and with such great experience!