Leading Saints Podcast

Interview Transcript Available Below In this episode we interview Dr. Jill Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Anne Blythe, Director of Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Jill Manning is a PhD level marriage and family councilor and has been practicing for 17 years. She is on two national boards, Enough is Enough and App Status.  She lives in Colorado. Anne Blythe spent seven years trying to save her marriage as her husband battled a pornography addiction. She currently coaches women online who are going through a similar situation. She has a website and hosts a podcast, Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Her website and podcast are dedicated to helping support women through this trauma.   Episode Highlights * 2:26 Betrayal trauma is when someone who loves you violates your trust in a critical way. This betrayal can happen to these victims multiple times. * 9:36 Anne struggled to put the pieces together in the midst of her trauma and recognize this was in an abusive relationship. * 11:13 Sometimes Bishops can have a hard time helping couples through these pornography addictions as two different perspectives are shared, ”he said, she said”   * 12:11 For Anne going to church during this time was extremely difficult. She kept going because she knew it was right. * 13:51 As a Mormon culture we are a trusting people. That can make it hard dealing with addicts who are not always honest due to shame and minimizing the situation. They can also gas light the situation and manipulate reality. * 14:36 When helping in the “he said, she said” situations step back and evaluate who is motivated by what. * 15:41 It can take women some time to realize they are in an abusive relationship * 18:50 It can take months or years to get the full story from the addict. Help teach them that it is ok and normal to spotlight the situation. * 21:52 The addict is not mentally capable of divulging everything at once. * 22:13 The spouse can be the barometer for what is really happening. * 24:21 Secondary Trauma is trauma that comes from asking for help and feeling dismissed. * 26:19 For the victims it can help to see action being taken and the addict held accountable. * 30:44  Consuming pornography is unrighteous dominion. * 31:29  Emotional, spiritual, and financial, abuse is real and often linked to pornography addiction. * 34:11  Studies have shown that 2/3 of people struggling with pornography addiction have been found to have a mood disorder. Those studies also show that 44 percent have a personality disorder and narcissistic traits. * 34:14 Three studies have shown that 71 percent of women meet the criteria for PTSD as victims of their spouses pornography addiction. * 35:29  Zoom into helping the victims with safety first. That includes being physically and spiritual safe. * 37:35 Lean on Heavenly Father to help you through this and always establish emotional safety.  Resources and Links: * Enough is Enough * Betrayal Trauma Recovery  * Steve and Kayla's Story of Sexual Addiction and Recovery * Jill Manning's Website Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today we are welcoming into the podcast Jill Manning and Anne Blythe. Dr Jill Manning: Doing well.

David Farnsworth is a retired leadership and executive coach that spent years helping organization improve their interviewing skills through the 3D Interviewing method. In this episode David explains methods LDS leaders can use in order to improve the effectiveness of 1-to-1 interviews and class room teaching through effective questions. Episode Highlights: * (7:15) Why do I want to develop my interviewing skills? * The question is how do you see your role? * Understanding the leader's role in an interaction * (11:35) The Fundamentals * Be sincerely interested in others. * Reading others accurately. * Having the vocabulary to articulate. * Be willing to be authentic and consistent. * Having a good sense of ourselves (self-awareness). * Trust others in their ability to respond. * Not seeing yourself as the expert, but to uncouple yourself from having all the answers. * (17:45) Drawing the Cube exercise * (22:00) The Art of Formulating Focused Questions Preparing questions in advance. * Draft good questions. * Try to put them in a logical order. * Examine questions carefully and fine-tune them. * (29:45) Active Listening * Paraphrase in your own words what the other person has just said: * Leaving the other person in control allows you find out how they think, what they're feeling, etc. * Three levels of paraphrasing: * What was said? (make sure you're clear about what they've said). * How was it said? (for example, "I can see this is difficult for you..."). * What was not said? * Three reactions to paraphrasing - agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification. * (44:20) Summarizing - different than paraphrasing. * Pulling together the major points of the discussion or topic (your understanding of the discussion). * Same three reactions to summarizing as paraphrasing (agreement, correction/clarification, or amplification). * (52:45) Sequencing questions - Getting acquainted example. * (55:00) Sequencing questions - Problem-solving example. * (58:50) Sequencing questions - Classroom example. * (67:00) How can I start interviewing using the 3D-I model? * "After Action Review

Interview Transcript Available Below Prior to his calling as a general authority seventy, Elder and Sister Groberg (Jean Sabin) lived in Idaho Falls, where Elder Groberg worked in a family-owned residential and commercial construction and land development business with his brothers. He was an eagle scout and holds a BS degree from BYU and an MBA from Indiana University. He served as bishop, mission president in Tonga, and regional representative, before being called to the First Quorum of the Seventy in 1976. In the latter service he served for a time as area president over the Asia, Utah South and North America West areas at various times. On church assignments the Grobergs have lived in Utah, Hong Kong, Idaho Falls, Argentina, Tonga and Hawaii. They have owned a home in Bountiful, Utah since 1978 and served as temple president and matron of the Idaho Falls Temple following service as an active general authority. Elder Groberg has authored five books, typically at the urging of others. His first book, dealing with his experiences as a young missionary in Tonga, was made into a 2001 movie, The Other Side of Heaven, starring Anne Hathaway and Chris Gorham. It was filmed in New Zealand and the Cook Islands and was directed by Mitch Davis. Elder Groberg wrote the book at the urging of President Thomas S. Monson, a member of the First Presidency. Episode Highlights: * Why The Other Side of Heaven (Eye of the Storm) Was Written (1:30) * Serving as Bishop (12:00) * Called to Serve as Mission President (17:41) * Serving as a Regional Representative—tantamount to present-day Area Authority Seventy (33:18) * Serving as a General Authority (35:39) * Serving as President of the Idaho Falls Temple, 2005-2008 (58:10) Links: The Other Side of Heaven John Groberg's Books The Stray Movie Interview Transcript: Kurt Francom: Today, I'm not too far from my home in Bountiful, Utah, in the home of Elder John Groberg. How are you? John Groberg: Just fine. Kurt Francom: Good, I appreciate you taking some time for us to chat. We actually ran into each other. You were at the BYU Bookstore during Education Week. John Groberg: Right. Kurt Francom: Is that something you typically do? John Groberg: No, that was the first time I've done it, in fact. Kurt Francom: Oh, really? John Groberg: Maybe the second. Kurt Francom: And you were kind enough to sign some books for me, and I was a bit nervous, I said, "Hey, would you ever consider doing an interview for my podcast?" And here we are. I appreciate you being open to that. John Groberg: Thank you. Kurt Francom: Now, how long have you lived here in Bountiful? John Groberg: We've been here since 1978. That is, it's been our home base. We've lived in Hong Kong and Argentina and Tonga and Hawaii and Idaho Falls, and during that time we just rented it out, but we've been here just shortly after I was called as a general authority. They asked us to be in the Salt Lake area. Kurt Francom: Now, I'm sure many listening that are ... you were giving conference talks before I was even born, but I remember you and obviously, on my mission, I was serving in Sacramento, California and I remember the day that my mission president called us and said, "Hey, guess what? I'm taking you to a movie." And we thought, "A movie, wow. On our mission,

Jake Carlson, MBA/JD, is a leadership development expert and host of the Modern Leadership Podcast. He created the Elite Achiever Academy to encourage leadership through the CIA of Influence (Conviction, Irresistibility & Accountability). He holds a JD in taxation from California Western School of Law, an MBA in Finance from San Diego State University and a BA from Brigham Young University. Additionally, he is the former Chief Operating Officer of the Silicon Valley Monterey Bay Area Council, BSA and Associate Regional Director of the National BSA Foundation. Jake has been a Young Men leader, a Sunday School teacher, and Sunday School president. His passion is leadership, influence, and helping others discover their zone of genius. After a year abroad, Jake, Kari, and their three children settled (for the time being) in Gilbert, Arizona. Recently, Jake and his family returned from spending nearly a year traveling to twelve countries around the world experiencing the cultures and how the church functions. The Carlson family began their journey in the Philippines, where Brother Carlson served his mission, before traveling to Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Cambodia, Czech republic, Italy, Scotland, England, France, and Wells before returning home to the United States. In the podcast episode, Brother Carlson shares his experiences about the uniqueness of the church in different parts of the world and lessons that he learned as he had opportunities to serve far from home. Enter Jake... In the last year, as a family, we traveled through 12 countries in Asia and Europe, attending 11 different wards, eight branches, one group, and even worshipping in Mandalay, Myanmar, where the Church doesn’t have a presence (yet). Every Sunday provided unique experiences, new friends, and even a few universals (who is teaching Elder’s Quorum this week… anyone?) The Church is awesome wherever you travel; regardless of culture, language, or the poverty within the local geography. We learned a lot, grew closer as a family and saw things our journals will memorialize for generations. We love the Church and found a warm, welcoming church family in every house of worship we attended. The Lord knows the experiences we need and continues to provide opportunities for us to learn. One opportunity in particular changed my understanding of leadership as we passed through Prague, Czech Republic. What started as a two-week stop to see the world-famous Christmas markets turned into 75 days of fun, fellowship, and service. It was there that I learned, really learned, about Sunday School lesson preparation. It happened when a Sunday School teacher asked if I could fill in for her by preparing a Gospel Principles lesson on the Creation for the following week. I agreed. The Czech Republic ocated in Central Europe, east of Germany and north of Austria and has a population over 10 million,  2,500 of which are church members. Formed following the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1993, the people have endured many difficult years, including German occupation during World War II and subsequently becoming a one-party communist state. The Church likewise struggled, but the Saints grew strong. For over 40 years, public activity of the Church was prohibited, but members quietly kept their faith, at times sneaking copies of The Book of Mormon into the country with false covers to avoid confiscation. Finally, in 1990, through the efforts of President Monson, the church was granted recognition; there were 345 members. In 2016, President Uchtdorf organized the first stake in the Czech Republic, headquartered in the capital city, Prague. Leadership in the Prague Ward is incredible and missionary work is gathering momentum. Each Sunday, about one quarter of the Prague ward attendance consists of visitors....

Heidi Tucker is a current Stake Young Women president who has also served as ward Young Women president and an early morning seminary teacher. Check out her other interviewed called When a Missionary Returns Home Early | A Mother's Perspective. Episode Summary 4:00 First experience serving in Young Women's 6:00 What was surprising serving in Young Women's on a stake level? 7:40 5 principles of leadership 7:45 Keep lines of communication open with ward Young Women presidents 12:25 Support the stewardship of the ward Young Women's president. Don't replace them. 15:20 Love the youth and teach them with respect 17:00 We're all at different levels of the gospel. Don't judge...teach. 18:50 Pray to know the path for your stake. Put your ego aside. 23:45 How has serving in the Young Women's made you a better disciple of Jesus Christ?

Raised in Bakersfield, California, Clive Winn obtained a B.S. degree in law enforcement and a Master of Public Administration degree from B.Y.U. He was employed for many years as an F.B.I. special agent in various locations. As a church leader, he has served in numerous capacities including elders quorum president, bishop, stake president and mission president (Argentina). More recently he was called as a stake patriarch. During the podcast interview, Brother Winn briefly describes his interviews with a member of the Council of the Twelve and a member of the First Presidency prior to being officially called as a mission president. He further describes his joy in seeing how teachable missionaries typically are in receiving counsel from their mission president. As a patriarch (15:34), he has reaffirmed his conviction of the worth of every individual soul in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father. He asserts that when you get a glimpse into peoples’ eternal possibilities you view them differently. We should all strive harder to treat each other in a way that recognizes the great potential that God sees in each of us. While employed by the F.B.I. Clive was often called on to train other staff members. He loved seeing the “light come on,” prompting people to change workplace or personal-life behaviors while becoming more enthusiastic and genuinely happy. The late Dale Carnegie authored world-renowned How to Win Friends and Influence People, plus How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, and other books related to interpersonal success skills. Brother Winn has been officially involved with the Dale Carnegie training program for four years. As a church leader, he periodically witnessed members rejecting callings and local church officers falling short of their potential success and responsibilities to serve. He observed ward councils having to repeat the same discussions about member needs without moving the ball forward. He learned that many of the principles he practiced and taught in his professional life and, more recently, in the Dale Carnegie courses can lead to more productive leadership and happier saints. He discussed five of those 30+ principles in a recent interview, summarized as follows: 1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain (19:57): If we personally refrain from such tendencies in leading church units, quorums and auxiliaries we’ll treat people with greater dignity and positively affect the overall organizational dynamics. Exhibit confidence and belief in the people you lead so as to help them understand their enormous potential and have greater clarity as to why they should perform at a higher level. The leader must set the tone for a positive culture, recognizing that sometimes other ward leaders under his/her direction are unaware they are expressing negative thoughts. All ward or stake members and leaders will benefit greatly from knowing that their leaders are positive. 2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation (20:32): Leaders often do not take time to consistently do this. Praise needs to be authentic and not for purposes of manipulation. Many people are “down” on themselves and a little reassurance goes a long way in rebuilding their faith and self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to send notes of commendation and gratitude. Look for opportunities to express appreciation from the pulpit to individuals, groups or congregations, including the recognition of small acts of service. Ward youth will greatly benefit from appreciation and positive reinforcement of specific things they have done well. 3. Smile (31:16): Some people are smile-challenged, especially when nervous or tense.

John Hester is a leadership consultant, trainer, researcher, and writer with The Ken Blanchard Companies. He currently serves on the High Council in his Vancouver, Washington stake and has previously served as an elders quorum president, Young Men president, and early-morning seminary teacher.  Episode Highlights (9:30) Biggest mistakes leaders make someone is called to a new position and feels lost Micromanaging Allowing the individual to go and flounder on their own, occasionally swooping in and then flying away again (seagull management) (10:20) How can this be handled more effectively? How can a leader find balance somewhere between the two big mistakes? Key is to take the time to diagnose recognize the goals and tasks that someone might have in a particular role what is your "development level" in each of these tasks?  Then providing the necessary leadership to help in areas where someone may not be as strong or experienced (11:45) Development Levels example (15:30) Collaboration between the leader and the individual to diagnose development levels Importance of recognizing that development levels are task-based rather than calling or position-based (21:00) Reassessing the diagnosis beyond the initial calling (regular stewardship interviews) (22:15) Characteristics of effective stewardship interviews Consistency Assessing task-based progress (25:15) Matching leadership style to the current development level (29:00) How can leaders make these regular stewardship interviews a priority so that progress can keep happening? Recognize that this is when the personal interaction can happen Making the time for them can free up time down the road (32:00) The importance of leaders always listening Links: The Ken Blanchard Companies

In this episode we share with you a recorded fireside that was held in Salt Lake City in August of 2017 with a Young Single Adult ward. We interview Steve and Kayla Shields who are dedicated to helping others understand sex/pornography addiction and how they found hope and recovery. Steve runs the website UnashamedUnafraid.com which helps those struggling with sexual addiction find community. Steve and Kayla share their personal story of sexual addiction in hopes of removing the stigma of shame associated with addiction. Episode Highlights * 6.20  Steve’s first interaction with pornography was at age 12. * 7:14  Steve continued to struggle with pornography though his teen years. * 8:28  His addiction was beginning to escalate. He did not feel he could talk to anyone about this. * 9:02  Before Steve left for his mission he did go to talk to his Bishop. * 10:42 Steve felt that his addiction was manageable during his mission. * 11:35 Once Steve returned home from his mission he fell into old behavior and his addiction began to escalate. * 13:10  Steve sought help from his Bishop however, the problems continued to escalate. * 15:02  Steve and Kayla got married. Steve was an ordinance worker in the Temple and still struggling with his addiction. * 15:22 Kayla shares how she asked Steve before they got married if he had ever struggled with a pornography addiction. Kayla did not want to marry anyone with a pornography addiction. * 16:55  Steve felt emptiness from his addiction so he worked harder and served more to compensate for that emptiness. * 17:43 Steve was currently serving as a counselor in the Bishopric. Kayla went out of town on a trip with their baby. During that time Steve spent that time acting out on his addiction. * 19:07 Steve made a choice to get help. The Lord helped him to see his addiction for what it was. * 20:19 Steve choose to speak with his Dad first about his addiction, and then he spoke to a therapist. * 21:07 Steve also spoke with Kayla’s Dad about his addiction prior to talking to his wife. He wanted Kayla to have support when he shared this with her. * 21:37 Steve spoke with his Bishop about his addiction. * 22:07 Steve picked his wife up from the airport as she returned home from her trip. He drove her right to the therapist office first instead of going home. He wanted to share his addiction with her at the office. * 22:14 She suspected he was going to tell her he struggles with pornography. There were clues while they were dating. * 24:25 Steve shares how numb he felt from his addiction. * 25:19 Kayla learned about Steve’s addiction and felt shock. She stormed out of the therapist office. She wanted a divorce. * 27:50 Kayla prayed and felt comfort to move forward to heal ther marriage. * 28:23 The months that followed were rough, especially as they moved into a new ward and questions followed from ward members. * 29:50 What Kayla was feeling was betrayal trauma. She had things she had to heal from as well. * 32:31  When you are dating ask questions. Invite them to be honest with you. * 34:58  Addiction is very shameful. Talk to those you date in a way that doesn’t put their self worth on the line. * 37:36  Be sensitive when addressing the topic of sexual addiction. Addiction brings shame. * 38:26 Talk about sexual addiction while you are dating. Build a strong level of trust. * 40:31 Start discussing your addiction with the safest person to you and work your way out. * 41:48 When discussing your addiction you do not have to share everything at the first time you discuss this. Start where you can.

Interview Transcript Available Below To say that Heidi Tucker, found her self in  at a difficult junction in her life, would be an understatment.  She had just turned 50, her 4th child was about to leave home, she was nearing the end to her calling that required her to teach early morning seminary at 4:30 am every morning. She was physically, emotionally and spiritually beat up.  She was on a flight between Phoenix and Salt Lake City, where she had a dream and saw her hands holding her book that she was to write (1:50). Episode Highlights * Heidi tells what she had originally thought when she woke up from the dream (2:45) * She tells about seeking personal revelation after she had allowed herself to forget about the dream. (3:40) * “I showed you that book" There was no getting away from the promptings she received. (4:40) * The book includes personal true stories of how Heidi found hope in trials in addition to gospel principles that helped her and her family through the difficult times. (7:31) * Improving Scripture Study (8:12) * Turning personal prayer into 2 way communication (9:22) * Protect yourself from outside influences (11:30) * Learning and relating to sacrifices other family members have made (Family History) (8:48) * The audience for this book is for anyone, but has gotten a positive response from Relief Society Sisters and other women (12:45) * Know that “Everyone is doing their best, at the level that they are at.”  Gaining a testimony is a process, not an event. (14:35) * Connecting with others by being real and honest. (16:38) * Combining personal experiences combined with gospel principles help make leaders seem real. (17:55) * “Struggle is as much a part of the plan as joy." (18:42)  Instead of saying ‘Why me,” say, “What now” * Experiences with Missionaries coming home early (20:55) * Don’t ask why they returned home. * Don’t ask what they are going to be doing or ask if they are going to be going back out. * Understand there are a lot of unanswered questions. * Understanding as a parent that your child is on their own path to their Heavenly Father (26:00) * Love them, support them and quit trying to fix them. (27:27) * Keeping RM’s involved (32:54) * Be Direct and let people know that you care. (35:36) Links: Finding Hope in the Journey: Recognize His Message Heidi's Blog Interview Transcript Kurt Francom:       03:39           Today we're actually in my childhood home talking with Heidi Tucker.  How are you Heidi? Heidi Tucker:       03:44          Very good to be here. Thank you. Kurt Francom:       03:47          You're from Cave Creek Arizona. Remind me where that is again? Heidi Tucker:       03:52          That is on the north east corner of Phoenix and Scottsdale area. Kurt Francom:       03:55          Nice and you're visiting some grand kids and children here? Heidi Tucker:       04:00          They all went to college in Utah and never came back. Kurt Francom:       04:04          Wow. So you have to come visit? Heidi Tucker:       04:05          I have to be here every opportunity I get.  And so we organized. My parents home was available and here we are in a nice air conditioned home. Are you to record and learn about you so you are the author of "Finding Hope in...

People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do. Some are even afraid their newfound doubts will cause you to begin to doubt because they were once fully convinced of the gospel's validity too. No, they haven't sinned or need an excuse to sin—they just doubt. If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away. To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt. Validate, Validate, VALIDATE Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt. Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs. Offer a New Framework When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety. One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair. In my experience, James Fowler's Stages of Faith is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on Leading Saints th...

Bryan Hughes currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader in his Topeka, KS ward. Raised in the Seattle, WA area and baptized shortly before his 18th birthday, he shares of his conversion experience after becoming inactive shortly after his baptism. These experiences have helped shape his approach to missionary work and serving in his current calling. Bryan's approach to serving in the ward mission is guided by President's Hinckley's counsel that every new convert needs a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. He applies these teachings by regularly using the new member list in ward council to identify if these three things are happening for newly baptized members. Five Leadership Principles Principle #1 Recognize that you lead through influence (13:25) * D&C 121:41-44 Principles that help us lead and influence others righteously. * To pull someone rather than push them you need to earn that right. * This can be done by making and keeping commitments yourself - effective communication with those whom we serve. Principle #2 Don't assume that everyone knows how to be effective in every calling (16:00) * We need to have grace for individuals and be willing to serve (and serve with) those who are learning in their callings. * Seeking first to understand and then to be understood. * Revelation comes to all of the parties associated in the work as we counsel together. Principle #3 Recognize that this is the Lord's work (25:20) * If not aware, we can unintentionally close ourselves to revelation or get stuck in routines and become unable to adjust or change as needed. Principle #4 Be pleasantly persistent (28:35) * Avoiding making things a fire when it doesn't need to be a fire. * Be pleasantly (and proactively) persistent. * Everybody can find their own way to be pleasantly persistent. * Remember that we work with volunteers (as we are ourselves). * Being more persistent in accountability, getting face time, getting the message of our auxiliary across, but doing so in an effective (pleasant) way. Principle #5 Make sure you have a strong team (35:30) * First and foremost we must defer to the Lord - we must not bypass the process of revelation. * Should not hesitate to recommend individuals to serve in our auxiliaries if prompted to make those recommendations. * Be willing to work with anyone the Lord sees fit to call to our team. * Our responsibility as a leader is to make sure our team is strong, whomever has been called to be on that team

Jacob Barlow is a Southern California native, and former Utah resident, who now resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. A BYU-Idaho graduate, Jacob is married and was previously employed at Google as a member of the company’s former Google Glass team. Inspired by his church-leader father’s assembled database of pearls of wisdom, Jacob has developed a free app of quotable quotes. It is called The Closing Speaker and is useful for people serving in the Church and home as leaders, speakers, teachers and parents, as well as those responsible for inserting a meaningful quote on the front page of a Sunday ward bulletin. It has a practical application for both youth and adults. For example, Church youth may find the app very valuable in talk preparation, including last-minute assignments they may be called upon to fulfill in a quorum or classroom setting. The app is evolutionary and currently contains 3088 quotes from 241 authors on 287 separate topics (1). At present, it is only available for Android devices and may be available for IOS users in the future, the advantage to Android being its more global reach. The app’s name (The Closing Speaker) borrows from the concept of a leader who finds himself or herself occupying valuable time at the pulpit at the end of a church service, and doing so in a way that helps ensure a successful meeting outcome. Users of the app may quickly search the database by topic or by author. The Closing Speaker functions somewhat as a topical guide; however, there is an important difference that many users will prefer over a topical guide or the use of a search bar on lds.org. The Closing Speaker provides actual quotes that are highly relevant, rather than overburdening users with a long list of citations that may have a one-word connection but offer limited value in the required context. While some of the quotes are lengthy and others are pithy, all are selected on the basis of bringing added value and understanding to a given topic. The Closing Speaker allows users to “favor” certain quotes for future reference and to also see what other users have highly favored. Jacob’s plans for The Closing Speaker’s future include the possibility of user-input, and doing so in a way that continues to safeguard the app’s integrity as to verifiable, published quotes from trustworthy sources. The app’s current user rating is 4.8 on a five-point scale. Brother Barlow reported that the process of app development, and the necessity of reading every single quotation used, has been both inspiring and educational. DOWNLOAD THE CLOSING SPEAKER (Not Yet Available for iOS)

Transcript of Full Interview Available Below Bennett and Becky Borden are a married couple who both experience same-sex attraction and who were both in same-sex marriages and relationships for many years prior to returning to the LDS Church and prior to their marriage to each other. Bennett and Becky both grew up in the South in active LDS families. They met about 28 years ago when Bennett was a young man and served his mission in Becky's ward. Bennett became close with Becky's family and over they years they have remained friends. In their early 20s, both Bennett and Becky came out as gay, left the Church and went on to live a gay lifestyle for many years. After many years away they both decided separately they wanted to come back to the church. They met up at Becky's family reunion and knew they should get married. They returned to church attendance, were married and after time had their blessings restored and were sealed in the temple. A lot can be learned and gained from their amazing story, their relationships, their faith transition, their interactions with family and church leaders, and their spiritual experiences. 3:15 Bennett's upbringing 5:00 Becky's upbringing 7:30 Bennett's close relationship with Becky's family 8:00 After his mission, Bennett's first marriage to a woman 9:30 Bennett lives a gay lifestyle and stops going to church 10:30 Becky's journey coming out as gay 13:30 Their relationships with God as they left the church and lived the gay lifestyle 14:30 Bennett's experience studying other religions 16:00 Becky's experience joining several other churches 18:00 What can we learn from our crises of faith? 19:00 Every relationship has goodness to them 20:30 "The light and love of God shines everywhere"/Growth can happen even as we are lost 22:00 Becky's excommunication and the blessing of it 24:30 The thing that brought them back to the gospel 26:00 Bennett's same sex relationship and what brought him back 28:20 Becky and where she was as Bennett's relationship ended 31:00 Leaders and family members and how they reached out to Bennett and Becky while they were living a gay lifestyle 34:00 Love within church disciplinary councils 35:30 Bennett and Becky's friendship as they came back to the church 44:00 How to reconcile thoughts of going back to the church with being gay 45:00 Reading the scriptures assuming it's all true 48:00 Bennett and Becky decision to get married 50:00 Becky's experience meeting with her bishop to discuss coming back to church 53:20 Bennett's experience meeting with his bishop to discuss coming back to church 56:15 How Satan worked to keep them from coming back 57:00 Their marriage by a bishop in Washington D.C. 58:45 Bennett's ex-husband Richard joined the church 1:02:30 How to pray for a child with same sex attraction 1:08:00 How can leaders use Northstar to help them 1:09:00 Message to individuals wanting to come back to the church Links: North Star Bennett & Becky's North Star Conference Keynote Bennett & Becky would love to connect with anyone who has questions or needs further support. You can reach them at their joint email: Bennettandbecky@gmail.com Interview Transcript Kurt Francom: [00:03:00] Today I’m in a beautiful Immigration Canyon with my good friends Bennett and Becky Borden. How are you two? Becky Borden: Doing great, thanks.

Interview Transcript Available Below Jon Birger is a magazine writer and contributor to Fortune Magazine. Jon is also the author of Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game. In this book he explains the reason behind the lop-sided dating demographics and the decline in marriage rates with a focus in one chapter on the Jewish and Latter-day Saint religions. A big shout out to Geoff Openshaw from This Week in Mormons that helped conduct the interview. Go listen and subscribe to his podcast! Episode Summary: * 5:56 Date-onomics looks at the demographics of why dating may be more challenging for women vs. men. * 7:12 For the last fifteen years there have been four women graduating college for every three men. * 7:48 There is a college gender gap that is responsible for the decline in marriages for educated women. * 8:22 What is the scarcity rule and how is that effecting dating influences? * 9:32 In Date-onomics Jon studied the secular world and how they can be less susceptible to outside cultural influences. * 12:55 The gender ratio in the Latter-day Saint faith. * 14:00 Is there a marriage crisis within the Latter-day Saint and Orthodox Jewish faith? * 15:36 For the Latter-day Saints living in Utah, there is a gender gap. There is a 60/40 ratio women to men. * 16:00 The gender ratio affects our behavior. * 18:04 The ratio can cultivate very picky men. * 19:49 Data suggest that in all religions women tend to be more devout then men. * 20:31 Approximately 30 to 40 percent of LDS young men go on missions. * 21:50 Most men who fall away from organized religion are between their late teen years to their twenties. * 23:03 The age change for LDS missions reflected a surge of those choosing to go. * 25:00 Why Millennials don’t date? * 26:01 Millennial men are not happy couch potatoes. Case in point is Silicon Valley. * 27:07 The Bay area in California has more men graduating from college than women. The marriage rates are much higher and divorce rates are very low. * 28:52 Millennials are marrying late because of a faith crisis, not a dating crisis. This has become a demographics issue. * 30:05 The science in Date-onomics shows how some of these patterns are hard wired within us. This is based on the demographics problem. * 31:02 To shift the demographics slant, help encourage young men to stay active in the church. * 33:11 The gender gap is not as great outside of Utah. Young men who do not serve missions may feel less ostracized outside Utah. * 36:09 Elder Scott, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life." * 38:21 Freshman classes at BYU are 60/40 women to men due to LDS missions. * 39:25 If college graduates were willing to date non-college graduates, the gender ratio may not be as bad. * 41:46 As men age, they become locked into their ways and more rigid. * 42:36 The plastic surgery surge in Utah can be contributed to the lop-sided demographics. * Suggested Solutions: * 45:47 Do not assume millennials are not marrying because of laziness. * 46:45 Make gender ratios a consideration when choosing a college. * 49:16 College educated women can expand their dating pool to include non-college educated men. * 50:26 Avoid the musical chairs syndrome. Links: * Date-onomics Book *

Interview transcript available below In this episode, we welcome back Jerry Smith who has been on the Leading Saints podcast before. I will remember, yeah, he is the author of Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration. Jerry is originally from Salt Lake City and served his mission in Boston, Massachusetts area and later returned there to continue his college education. He now teaches in the School of Business at Boston College and also teaches institute classes at the Boston LDS Institute. He has served as bishop three times and in a stake presidency and in many other church callings.  Specifically in this episode we talk about a very interesting subject regarding the changes or corrections ancient prophets made in the Book of Mormon text— not grammatical changes that Joseph Smith made or others in the translation of the Book of Mormon, but changes ancient prophets themselves made, anciently as they were actually writing this and why they made it. Through this discussion we discuss the concept of every leader being human and making errors from time to time as they are given a daunting task of leading. We sometimes hold up these Book of Mormon prophets as impeccable leaders. In reality, they were human and we can see a lot of their mortality through their writings in the Book of Mormon but that makes it very rich. It makes it real and we can learn more about the Book of Mormon, about these prophets, about the personalities and so I think you will enjoy this conversation as I geek out with Jerry about the extemporaneous changes that we see in the Book of Mormon.  Links: * Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 1: Evidence of an Imperfect, Authentic, Ancient Work of Scripture) * Improvisation and Extemporaneous Change in the Book of Mormon (Part 2: Structural Evidences of Earlier Ancient versus Later Modern Constructions) * Jerry Smith's first interview on the Leading Saints podcast * Schooling the Prophet, How the Book of Mormon Influenced Joseph Smith and the Early Restoration * Understanding the Book of Mormon: A Reader's Guide, by Grant Hardy Interview Transcript Jerry Smith: Well, Kurt, nice to just talk to you again. Kurt Francom: Now you are originally from Boston and you just happened to be in Salt Lake so we thought let's get together and talk about something. Jerry Smith: I'm actually originally from Salt Lake City. Kurt Francom: [00:03:30] Oh right, yes, but you've lived there. Jerry Smith: I've lived in Boston for 40 years, so does that count as a Bostonian? Kurt Francom: Well, you're the better judge of that than I am. We talked prior in a previous interview, which I encourage all to check out about your book called Schooling the Prophet: How the Boo...