Being an LDS Leader Comfortable With Doubt: 8 Tips to Help Those You Lead Who Doubt

Summary: People in your ward doubt the validity of gospel and you don't know it. You don't know it because they are afraid to tell you, their leader, that they doubt. They are afraid how you will respond, what you will say, and what you will do. Some are even afraid their newfound doubts will cause you to begin to doubt because they were once fully convinced of the gospel's validity too. No, they haven't sinned or need an excuse to sin—they just doubt.<br> <br> If the bishop, or any other leader, is lucky enough, members with deep questions about the restored gospel will actually set an appointment to meet with you before they fade away into inactivity, or worse. This type of appointment is one of your greatest leadership tests. A moment when you will feel like you need to say the right thing or you might unintentionally push them away.<br> <br> To help leaders prepare now rather than in the 15 seconds you will have when they say, "I'm not sure I believe anymore" here are seven things leaders can consider to help those in your ward who doubt.<br> Validate, Validate, VALIDATE<br> Most people who have developed doubt in the claims of the LDS Church feel like they have gone crazy. They live in a church culture where they see people every month stand and deliver a testimony with "every fiber of their being." These strong testimonies can be inspiring for many, but for those suddenly doubting, they feel like an outlier for even having thoughts of doubt.<br> <br> Validation is the first step to a productive conversation. No matter how radical or outlandish the leader perceives the member's new perspective, it is critical to validate the fact that any normal, believing church member could develop such questions. Validating their doubts, concerns, or different beliefs doesn't mean you agree with them or that you should give them the impression you agree with them. Validation is simply recognizing the feelings a member might feel as he or she wrestles with a newfound perspective. For example, if an individual shares with a leader that she has read new information that causes her to question Joseph Smith's validity as a prophet of God, the leader could say, "I can imagine you have been feeling confused, unsure, and possibly even betrayed by this new information. It is important to realize that questions and doubts are part of a normal process we all go through as we strive to discover a deeper faith, even when we thought we had a stable testimony of these principles." When a doubter hears validation, she suddenly realizes she isn’t going crazy. If she feels like her perspective is scoffed at or dismissed, she will realize the mistake she made by trying to communicate her concerns with her church leader. Remember, she won't feel loved if she feels like you are trying to win a disagreement or straighten out her beliefs.<br> Offer a New Framework<br> When an individual experiences a faith crisis he feels he is in a spiritual free fall. He begins to question concepts in life he had never questioned before—especially those concepts based on faith. He moves from a life of certainty to a life of questions. This destroys hope and stimulates anxiety.<br> <br> One of the best ways a leader can help others to establish a foundation of hope is to give the individual a new framework in which to start reconstructing his faith. Up until now, most with an LDS background have had a black-and-white framework to define their faith. They thought they had most of the answers that helped them understand the world and the eternities. It's not so much that the doubter’s faith has been damaged; it's their framework of defining faith that is needing repair.<br> <br> In my experience,<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_W._Fowler"> James Fowler's Stages of Faith</a> is effective when needing a dynamic framework for understanding the human experience related to faith. We hope to produce more resources on Leading Saints th...