Nobody Panic

Stevie has a rescue tortoise called Doctor Alison Parker and Tessa once bought a horse in a Mcdonalds carpark. Never have two people been more qualified to address the nation on everything you need to know about looking after an animal. Find out more at howtobuyapet.org.uk! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Thought you'd be married with seven kids and a £350k job at 25? That was incredibly optimistic. But seriously, most of us fall foul of feeling like we're lagging behind in the quest for The Perfect Life, whether that's your job, your relationship (or lack thereof) or the fact that you can't keep a plant alive. Stevie and Tessa work out how to stop worrying about what you're doing when, and how we can all stop being so hard on ourselves. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Got a Miranda Priestly, a David Brent or an Ebenezer Scrooge on your hands? Or even a James Cameron who once nailed a runner's cellphone to the wall. Get in here for some hard won advice on which battles to pick, how to get out ahead of micro-management and Stevie's really very good Kiera Knightly impression. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tessa KNOWS about netball teams. Stevie has started going for walks on a treadmill while listening to podcasts about Incels. Both are quite damning of wing defence as a position and have a load of tips on how to get into sport when you're absolutely nothing like Roger Federer. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nervous? Palms are sweaty? Something about your mother's spaghetti already? Get in here. Stevie and Tessa talk techniques for getting through that presentation/meeting/wedding speech without having to breathe into a paper bag. From where to put your hands to how to fake confidence. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Think tidying is boring? It is. But Tessa has watched Marie Kondo and read some other stuff so you don't have to. This episode also involves a bizarre story about an owl. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's just a day! You don't need to deal with anything! But if you're feeling a bit apprehensive about the day of lurrrve Stevie and Tessa are on hand. Featuring the shocking (and Tessa-abridged) history of V-day and why Beyonce is crucial to getting through if you're single. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Between them having lost several phones, PE kits, debit cards, keys, and both school shoes on separate occasions, Stevie and Tessa feel suitably equipped to explain how to stop losing things. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Got wanderlust? We got loads of tips from people who've moved to new cities to work out exactly how to do it without moving back home immediately. Also Tessa drops some truth bombs about Jafar. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Survive the ruthlessness (or banality) that is office politics without becoming a psychopath! Tessa tells Stevie about sand-bagging which she claims isn't a sex thing. It's absolutely a sex thing. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Prioritise yourself and your tasks this new year - Stevie and Tessa work out how best to go about this with the help of an incredibly left field moose analogy and some surprisingly intellectual discussion about Chekhov (it's unclear if any of this is pronounced correctly. Apologies to Chekhov). Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Are New Year's resolutions utter balls? Probably. But it's still a nice time to asses your life and make some good aims for the coming months. Stevie and Tessa figure out how to do this and also race to find a picture of David Gandy's wang online. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Stevie and Tessa host a live podcast/Christmas work do complete with buffet, mingling and some serious tips on how to survive Christmas - from difficult extended family, to going it alone. Merry Christmas! Everyone! x Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

'When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt' - Stevie and Tessa deep dive into how to believe in yourself, how to think like Usain Bolt, and Stevie's new found passion for Roger Federer. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Struggling for what to get people this year? Stevie and Tessa look at what to get those difficult-to-buy-for people, those periphery people (hello brother's girlfriend's dog) and what to do when you have literally no money to get anything. HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.