The Wilder Ride

We continue today with sheriff Bart slowly trotting toward the center of town. As he reaches the podium, he utters the famous line, "'Scuse me while I whip this out!" As he reads his appointment, he becomes well aware that most of the men in town are cocking their guns and taking aim. Revered Johnson holds up the bible and demands they all pay heed to the Good Book and what it says. Someone shoots out the center of the Bible. With a cocked eyebrow he then says, "Son, you're on your own."

While the band is playing, Gabby Johnson looks back through his telescope. This time, the image of Bart is clearer and he can see he is a black sheriff. Gabby tries to inform the citizens of Rock Ridge that the sheriff is a... Unfortunately, the church bell happens to GONG just as he says the word. The welcoming committee wonders what he is saying. One suggests that the sheriff is near. Gabby, infuriated over being misheard, utters some authentic frontier gibberish and tries to tell them a second time.

Bart finishes his ride across the open prairie as Count Basie and his orchestra end their tune with a flourish. We cut to the center of downtown Rock Ridge where the townspeople are preparing for their new sheriff. Howard Johnson needs to practice his speech where he wants to deliver a laurel and hearty welcome. Using a telescope, Gabby can see a rider approach. He yells the sheriff is coming. Reverend Johnson commands the church bells to ring while Howard yells to strike up the band.

We open with the Governor unzipping his pants and letting them fall to his ankles on his way back to Miss Stein. April in Paris by the Count Basie and orchestra begins to play. We see the Gucci logo and pull back to reveal one hip sheriff on the back of a palomino. He begins to trot forward, eventually revealing Count Basie and his orchestra are actually live in the desert playing! And, since it is April Fools Day, our guest has a little fun with us and the audience.

We continue today where we left off from yesterday as Hedley yells, "Lepetomane!" The governor hits his head against the wall but realizes it will never work. He tells Lamarr that the folks in Rock Ridge will kill him in just one day. Hedley remarks that one day is all you'll need to be forever remembered for what he did. As Lamarr begins to parade the governor around his office, singing Hail to the Chief, Lepetomane starts to recite the Gettysburg address.

The episode begins with the Governor telling someone to throw something on and stay in that position. He explains he was out walking the parapet. Lamarr reminds the governor he was to find a new sheriff and was bringing him in for an introduction. Lepetomane takes one look and realizes Hedley has lost his mind. He even asks, "Are you crazy? Can't you see that man is a ni?" Lamarr assures the governor that such a progressive move as appointing a black sheriff might get him a cabinet post!

We begin with Hedley Lamarr looking directly into the camera, asking where he can find such a man? He follows up with, why am I asking you? The sound of a crowd outside gets him to go to the window. As he opens, we see Boris the Hangman saying to Bart, "Welcome to Hanging House!" He then adds, "Not to worry, everyone is equal in my eye." Lamarr gets a sudden bolt of inspiration and nearly chokes on his mint. As we end the episode, Hedley and Bart arrive at the Governor's office.

The episode starts with Hedley trying to adjourn the meeting, but realizes he is overstepping his bounds. The governor then decides to pass around the paddle-balls for everyone to use. As the scene dissolves, we are back in Lamarr's office. He is contemplating his dilemma. He is tasked with finding a new sheriff of Rock Ridge. However, law and order is the last thing he wants. As he ruminates, he literally looks at us through the fourth wall to ask for our help.

After helping the governor sign the bill, Hedley needs to also help get the pen back in its holder. It seems the meeting is about to conclude when Miss Stein says she has an urgent telegram she received last Friday. It is from the citizens of Rock Ridge. When the governor hears the letter, he immediately jumps up and says they all need to protect their phony baloney jobs. As the minute comes to a close, Hedley is in the midst of saying that a suitable sheriff will be found.

The episode continues with the Governor saying the paddle balls are defective. Hedley is using his perfectly, but agrees with the governor. Hedley then gets the governor to sign legislation to create a refuge for the insane by created a casino. Lepetomane gives a short speech about the importance of the new legislation and they all cheer. The governor then congratulates Hedy. Lamarr corrects him saying his name is Hedley. The Governor quips, "What are you worried about? It's 1874, you can sue her!"

Today's episode opens with Reverend Johnson telling the congregation he is going to read from Matthew, Mark, Luke and...Duck, as a lit bundle of dynamite is thrown into the church. We fade in to the door of Governor William J. Lepetomane. The first order of business is the purchase of 200,000 acres of land from local Indians. When Lepetomane asks the cost, Lamarr simply says a box full of paddle-ball toys. The Governor thinks they will not go for it, then again the little red devils love their toys.

We continue with the open meeting in the midst of the church service. For those who missed it earlier, apparently everyone in the town in a Johnson. Howard Johnson says he is not about to give up the ice cream stand. Samuel Johnson, who looks like he is moonlighting from his role as Grandpa Joe, agrees with each of the Johnsons. Reverend Johnson points out they need a new sheriff. He asks for a volunteer. That's when Howard Johnson remarks they should wire the governor for a new sheriff.

We continue today's minute with Gabby Johnson still making his speech before the congregation. Afterwards, Olson Johnson stands up and acknowledges the speech. In fact, he says he is happy all the children were there to hear such authentic frontier gibberish. He concludes with a reminder they did not give up then and he believes they will not give up now.

Today's episode opens with the conclusion of the Ballad of Rock Ridge. As Reverend Johnson asks everyone to be seated, he presents his position on the matter.He says to them that the time has come to act and act fast! Suddenly, he tells them he's going to leave and immediately exists the frame. Gabby Johnson jumps up saying, "You get back here you pious, candy-ass, sidewinder!" We then turns and continues to address the congregation saying he was born and raised in Rock Ridge and he plans to die there.

We continue the raiders doing their dirty work in the town of Rock Ridge. The discussion moves to a strange platform with feedbags that seems to serve no purpose other than for a stunt. Alan and Walt also discuss one resident of Rock Ridge who has a bullet proof hat. Next we discuss the old woman being beaten and how she breaks the fourth wall to ask the audience if they have ever seen such cruelty? The episode ends as the song transitions into a church hymn.