The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

When Tim told Stéphane during their first deep conversation that he has a condition that causes him to disassociate from his feelings and yet he kept feeling compelled to be around her and act differently with her, she couldn’t help but think that they had something special. Unfortunately once they did get together, it was over before it even really began. Full show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/63 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

Natalie talks about why we’ve got to stop making snap judgements about who’s ‘nice’, how to respond to loved ones whose opinions differ from ours from a place of love, care trust and respect, and why it might not be a good idea to send the card/text to your ex. This week’s listener question is, Why would an ex want to connect on LinkedIn rather than any other media? and Natalie shares what she learned this week. Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/62 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Baggage Reclaim blog: www.baggagereclaim.com All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this 'Why Did We Break Up?' episode, Joanne is still wounded after her brief involvement with her longtime crush ended after they slept together. She thinks that it was her having the STD that he said he was OK with because he was so sure their relationship was going to work out but he said that it's because she's not "geeky enough" due to not playing board games or reading comic books. Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/61 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

Natalie talks about why we need to stop criticising ourselves for not being more self-disciplined in areas where we’ve had to give up something or make a big change, plus she talks about some of the causes of gifting stress and why the commitment-dodging ex is being intense with the new flame. This week’s listener question is about feeling rejected because their partner doesn’t want to cuddle all night and Natalie talks about what she’s learned this week. It’s Just The One Chocolate Bar. It’s Just The One Values and Boundaries Bust. Or is it? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/its-just-the-one-chocolate-bar-its-just-the-one-values-and-boundaries-bust-or-is-it/ Episode 15 about giving www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/15 Episode 2: What’s the baggage behind it?www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2 Unsent Letter Guide www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/downloads Why him/her and not me? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-himher-and-not-me-not-everything-is-about-us/ Episode 48 www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/48 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Baggage Reclaim blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/60 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this 'Why Did We Break Up?' episode, Zoe was devastated after her partner of six years went to visit family for a few weeks, cut contact and secretly started a relationship with an old girlfriend from his school days. During their six years, Zoe sunk her entire inheritance into clearing gambling debt after gambling debt and grappled with anxiety and insecurity due to the instability and his constant lies. After trying to move on but finding it too painful to trust again, she is ready to find out why their relationship broke down. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW Overcompensating http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/admit-the-cover-up-stop-overcompensating/ Over-functioning http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/are-you-doing-the-other-persons-job-in-your-relationships/ Over-responsible post http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/giving-up-the-role-of-being-over-responsible/ Over-responsible podcast episode http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-33-personality-vs-character-feeling-over-responsible-one-night-stand-hat/ EXTRA SUPPORT Co-dependents Anonymous http://www.coda-uk.org/ (UK) http://coda.org/ (International) http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/addiction/Pages/gamblingaddiction.aspx Gamblers Anonymous http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/ (UK) http:// www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/ (International) Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/59 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about why so many people feel so triggered during these fraught times, shares tips for calming anxiety about family arrangements during the holiday season, and explains why we have to be careful of being over-committed to goals. This week’s listener question is, How do I forgive myself for being the rebound and the booty call? and Natalie shares what she learned this week. Last week’s episode www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/58 where I talked about how we can learn about how people act different to us instead of blaming ourselves for their feelings and behaviour. The 12 Weeks of Self-Esteem Torment http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/have-you-been-affected-by-the-12-weeks-of-self-esteem-torment/ Also talked about in episode 12 www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/12 The Art of Charm episode about over-commitment to goals http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-26-are-your-goals-killing-you/ The Disappointment Cycle http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/is-it-time-for-you-to-opt-out-of-the-cycle/ Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/58 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

Why Did We Break Up? is back! In this episode, Hannah felt guilty about having fallen for her engaged co-worker and living a lie, so she broke it off with her boyfriend of four years. Her co-worker, Joe, didn't follow suit and so began four months of deep pain, lies and confusion which culminated in her ending it when she found out that he was going on holiday with the fiancé he claimed to no longer love. Feeling strung along, lied to and betrayed, she wants to know, Why did we break up? Links mentioned in the show About activation http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/activation-when-someone-or-something-activates-old-issues/ http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/intensity-isnt-the-same-as-intimacy/ About being over-responsible Episode 33 www.bagaggereclaim.co.uk/33 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/giving-up-the-role-of-being-over-responsible/ http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/advice-wednesday-i-tried-to-rescue-him-from-his-unfair-open-relationship-he-went-back-to-her/ Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/57 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about why expecting people to be mind readers is damaging to our self-esteem and our relationships, why people being shady or not meeting our expectations is not about our inadequacies but teaching us lessons on how some people are, and the importance of giving up small satisfaction today for greater satisfaction in future. This week’s listener question is about whether they were wrong to be so honest about their past relationships with a partner who judged them for it, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. They Had A Life Before You. Acknowledge The Backstory www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/they-had-a-life-before-you-acknowledge-the-backstory/ Unsent Letter Guide www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/downloads How To Self-Soothe Guide www.store.baggagereclaim.co.uk/product/how-to-self-soothe-quick-guide/ Disclosing Your Past and Insecurities www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/disclosing-your-past-and-insecurities/ Have you heard about The Library? It's my monthly membership program for people who are committed to breaking patterns and being consistent with self-care so that they enjoy more love, care, trust and respect. Each month has a different topic focus and features a bumper deep dive video class along audio, worksheets, mini ebooks and more. November's focus is on processing and expressing anger and previous months have covered rejection, learning how to stand up for yourself, the power of journaling, and a specially created recording of my live workshop, You're Not Going Crazy, They're Unavailable. Find out more about joining at www.baggagereclaim/thelibrary Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/56 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about the things that we need to consider if we're going to sext with a stranger, plus she talks about the importance of distinguishing between the experiencing and remembering self, and what to do when someone ignores you and then makes out that it's you who's ignoring them. This week's listener question is about whether her boyfriend living with another woman and raising a family with her is normal and whether her discomfort is "stupid", and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/55 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue All podcasts at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about the things we need to consider when we opt to take a break from our relationship, what intimacy is and five key habits that are a block to it, and how we avoid answering a question by replacing it with something else. This week's listener question is about how do we deal with people who clearly feel superior, and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/54 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue All podcasts at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about preferences versus programming, why driving is a metaphor for life, and the importance of noticing what's going on around you so that you can broaden your perspective. This week's listener question is about when to recognise that reflection after a breakup has become rumination, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW Embrace Healthy Boundaries http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/courses/30-days-to-healthy-boundaries/ Tune In To Your Inner Critic http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/courses/30-day-project-tune-in-to-your-inner-voice-calm-your-inner-critic/ Everybody bounces back at different rates http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/everyone-bounces-back-at-different-rates/ Episode on knowing whether you're ready to start dating again www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/1 Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/53 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue All podcasts at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie talks about being motivated to move in with a partner for financial or practical reasons or because you're trialing out whether you want to commit to that person, plus she talks about why it's not a good idea to seek admiration, approval and validation, and why we don't need to advertise our insecurities and old hurt. This week's listener question is about whether it's wrong to give up on falling in love again or whether loved ones are wrong for pressuring about being in a relationship in the future, and Natalie shares what she learned this week. If We Give Up On Love, We Give Up On Ourselves http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/if-we-give-up-on-love-we-give-up-on-ourselves/ Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/52 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue

The original episode that went live on 27/09/16 has been replaced. In this episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Natalie shares some universal lessons that apply to all breakups. Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/51 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast

In this episode, Natalie shares tips for ensuring that you don’t undervalue you when it comes to salary or charging the right rate/price with clients, knowing when to fold, and means ‘mean’ goals versus end goals. This week’s listener dilemma is about how to deal with shady friendships and Natalie shares what she’s learned this week. Links from the show The Vicious Cycle of Undervaluing Yourself http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-vicious-cycle-of-undervaluing-yourself/ Knowing When To Fold http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-fold The Justifying Zone http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/the-justifying-zone Betting On Potential—Are you gambling on a relationship capacity that doesn’t exist? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/betting-on-potential-are-you-gambling-on-a-relationship-capacity-that-doesnt-exist/ The Blinkest app (note, I am not affiliated with Blinkist in any way) A couple of posts about boundaries and friendship http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/we-have-to-let-our-friendships-evolve/ http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/when-you-experience-conflict-in-your-friendships-because-of-new-boundaries/ Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/50 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue

In the latest episode of Why Did We Break Up?, Sandy and Rick got off to a flying start after being introduced via a mutual friend. They saw each other a few times a week, seemed to thoroughly enjoy each other's company, and were making plans for future dates. Then Rick received some bad news one night and asked to hang out with Sandy. While there, he got way friskier than she was comfortable with, so she slowed things down only for him to leave rather abruptly. They spoke again a couple of days later and then poof, he was gone. Sensitive to the fact that he was going through a rough time, she called him a few more times but he never returned her calls. You might want to check out my posts on ghosting and u-turns What’s the Craic With Ghosting? (And no, it’s NOT the same as No Contact!) http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/whats-the-craic-with-ghosting-and-no-its-not-the-same-as-no-contact/ We Need To Talk About: ‘Ghosting’ In The Early Stages of Dating http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ghosting-in-the-early-stages-of-dating/ Recovering from somebody doing a U-turn on their feelings or proclaimed intentions http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/recovering-from-somebody-doing-a-u-turn-on-their-feelings-or-proclaimed-intentions/ I also talked about ghosting in episode 20 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/20 Email podcast@baggagereclaim.com Facebook facebook.com/baggagereclaim Instagram instagram.com/natlue Show notes for this episode at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/49 All podcast episodes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast