The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

In episode 33, Natalie talks about the importance of distinguishing between personality and character, why some of us are over-responsible' and how we can start to address it, and why we don't need to keep trying to make somebody see something from our perspective or keep trying to make them explain or apologise. This week's listener question is about what to do when a one-night stand followed by some fun dates peters out but you've developed feelings, plus Natalie shares what she's learned this week. LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW The post about personality vs character http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/character-matters About charming tends to be a precursor to code red problems http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/charming What's the baggage behind it? from episode 2 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/2 Episode 31 where I talk about when an estranged parent becomes ill http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/31 Full show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/33

In episode 32, Natalie talks about gratitude and why shifting the focus of what you think about can have a big impact on your day plus she explains deal-breakers and why we all need to have some things that no matter how much attraction or feelings that we have for someone, that would cause us to opt out. She also talks about how to know what you're responsible for and helps Prue distinguish between expectations and boundaries in this week's listener question. She also shares what she learned this week. I made a mistake at the end of the episode and the link to the 30-day project, Embrace Healthy Boundaries course is http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/happyboundaries Use the code PODCAST to get 30% off the course Full show notes: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/32

In episode 31 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie explains why procrastinating isn't about laziness, talks about the myriad of emotions you experience when an absent/estranged parent is ill, and why some so-called mutual agreements really aren't mutual. This week's listener question is about reclaiming your dignity after sex on an early date doesn't turn into a relationship and Natalie shares what she's learned this week about fear of change. The book Get Things Done by Robert Kelsey http://amzn.to/1ZF7Qwl that I mention in the first segment about procrastination. The How To Write Letters To Your Younger Self guide is available to download at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/31-download. Full show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/31

In episode 30, Natalie dedicates the show to answering listener questions. 1 Can I stand up to my disrespectful colleague? This listener was told to "shut up" by someone who she thought was a friend and they did it in front of everyone too. 
 2 Should I send a 'keep me in mind for the future' letter to my ex? Her widower workaholic long-distance boyfriend has broken it off to date a woman closer to home and her therapist has suggested that due to the circumstances, that she should send him a letter telling him to get in touch if his situation changes. 
 3 I can't get a job and I feel like a failure in comparison to my 'successful' siblings. This is one of those situations that really exemplifies the vicious cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Living with her dysfunctional family who patronise and insult her plus going out with a 'successful' younger guy plus 'successful' siblings plus her friends having jobs is convincing her that she has every reason to think that she's a failure.  Books mentioned: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks Playing Big by Tara Mohr Strengths Finder
 4 Do I think too much? A comment that she's heard too often from past partners, this listener is starting to question the aspects of her that she prides herself on.

In episode 29, Natalie talks about finding the middle ground between expecting people to be 'perfect' and not having standards and boundaries in your relationship. She also shares on her recent experiences with hypnotherapy and how that influenced her taking a break, plus she talks about people who are judgmental and critical but it can be difficult to put your finger on because they're also so 'nice'. This week's listener question is, 'How do I stop being piggy in the middle with my parents and my sister?', and Natalie shares what she's learned this week. The New Year episode that I refer to in the second segment (re some of the reasons for going to hypnotherapy) is www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/17

In episode 28 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie talks about life plans, emotional availability, and why it’s not fair when people shame us for not wanting to be friends or not being ready to move on just yet. This week’s listener question is about boundaries and ultimatums and Natalie shares what she’s learned this week about ‘overreacting’. In the first part of the show, Natalie builds on episode 27 where she shared what she learned about her need for a life plan and explores why we might not have one and includes suggestions for increasing awareness of our priorities. Download Creating Your Personal Life Plan by Michael Hyatt http://bit.ly/mhlifeplan The backstory to me thinking about life plans in episode 27 www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27 More on ‘mise-en-place’http://n.pr/1ptmytV In the second part of the show, Natalie explains emotional unavailability and the key fears behind it as well as ten key questions for understanding your own availability. Download “10 Key Questions To Open Up Your Awareness About Your Emotional Availability” http://bit.ly/1pz2nv2 Check out this post: ‘Do you want to be with an emotionally available person? Be emotionally available YOURSELF’ http://bit.ly/1O2fHzy In the third part of the show, Natalie explains why it’s not fair when people shame us for not wanting to be friends [after a breakup] or for not being over something yet. This week’s listener wants to know where to draw the line with setting boundaries and issuing ultimatums. More reading… ‘Boundaries—Stop Asking For Permission http://bit.ly/RCN29j ‘Why Explaining and Re-Explaining Disrespect Is Like Saying, I’m Open to Negotiating On My Boundaries’ http://bit.ly/1O25seQ In What I Learned This Week, Natalie explains why we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves about ‘overreacting’. You can view this episode’s show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/28

In episode 27 of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, Natalie talks about No Contact and Low Contact at work, fear of failure and why she’s glad she stopped looking for what she used to look for. This week’s listener wants to know if the guys she’s dating are “too emotional” and Natalie shares what she learned about drifting and the need for at least a little bit of life planning. In the first part of the show, Natalie gives a brief overview of No Contact and Low Contact and shares her own experience which was part of the inspiration for her book, The No Contact Rule. She offers up 7 tips for navigating low contact at work which you can also download: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27download More about The No Contact Rule Book: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/NC You can also download 10 Irrational Fears About No Contact: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27download In the second part of the show, Natalie explains how having a parent or key influencer who pushes you to the best and who tells you that failure isn’t an option, can instil a fear of failure that causes you to coast. Natalie includes questions for self-exploration and some perspective on ‘failing’. Download The Unsent Letter Guide: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/downloads/ In the third part of the show, Natalie shares why she’s glad she stopped looking for mommy and daddy figures in her romantic partners because next week, she will be celebrating 10 years together with Em (her husband). This week’s listener has gone from being with emotionally unavailable men, to working on her availability, to feeling uncomfortable when she meets guys who seem “too emotional” because they talk and share their feelings. She keeps meeting guy after guy like this and wonders what’s ‘normal’. In What I Learned This Week, Natalie is thinking about life plans and wondering if you have one, after she listened to Amy Porterfield’s business podcast (link: http://bit.ly/21mUmVs) and the interviewee Michael Hyatt’s sage advice on how we drift into chaos really resonated with her. Natalie wants to talk about life plans in an upcoming episode so if you have one and want to share how you came up with yours or have questions about what they are, email podcast@baggagereclaim.com. You can view this episode’s show notes at www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/27

In this episode, Natalie questions whether we can really blame someone's inability to commit on whether they're just not that into us. Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl http://bit.ly/mrfbg In the second segment, where each week Natalie helps listeners to better understand their emotional baggage and grow in self-awareness, she explores our relationship with time, namely why some of us have a habit of being late and why some of us are so scared of it. Post on the blog about lateness: http://bit.ly/1fymR1H In the third segment, Natalie talks about the myth of 'overnight success' and why it's important not to discard other people's journeys. This week’s listener needs some tips on sticking to her boundaries and values. 30-Day Project: Embrace Healthy Boundaries http://bit.ly/EmbraceBoundaries Natalie also shares advice from her 6 and 8-year-old daughters on being clear on NO. The book I mention is the wonderful, The Little Girl Who Lost Her No by Amy M. Starkey http://amzn.to/1L7xeIT Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie explains the key reasons for the breakdown of a relationship and how bottom line, they're all the same reason—incompatibility. Understanding Why Some Relationships Don’t Work Out http://bit.ly/18WdqFx In the second segment where each week Natalie helps listeners to better understand their emotional baggage and grow in self-awareness, she explains some of the reasons why we get being triggered by birthdays. I discuss how to uncover what the baggage is behind an issue in episode 2.  In the third segment, Natalie talks about how we can all be a bit more tolerant when it comes to our minor irritations with loved ones and how we sometimes forget that we have our irritating ways too! This week’s listener needs some tips for calming herself down where she gets into a state of thinking and feeling awful things about herself. Download  7 Steps For Calming Yourself Down When You’re In A Negative Self-Talk Spiral: http://bit.ly/7stepscalm Check out the How To Self-Soothe Quick Guide I mentioned: http://bit.ly/brselfsoothe Natalie also shares what she learned from her 8-year-old daughter wrongly believing that she’d been in trouble when she hadn’t.  Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie offers up some suggestions for dating as a single parent, explores the difference between help and support, and explains The Debit and Credit Trust System. This week’s listener wants to know how to cope with turning 30 when everyone else has gotten married etc, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week. In the first segment I mentioned Episode 1, you can find it on iTunes or listen here: http://bit.ly/BRSessions1 I also talk about: No Contact Rule book: http://bit.ly/NoContactRule Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: http://bit.ly/MrUnavailable The Debit and Credit Trust System: http://bit.ly/BRTrust and http://bit.ly/BRCommit Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie delves into the tricky subject of name calling and swearing at someone in an argument and whether this is really ‘OK’, plus she shares three key admissions - admitting where you’ve made a mistake, admitting what you don’t know, and admitting what you’re pretending not to know - that keep us human and humble, and she explains some of the benefits of affirmations including sharing some of her personal experiences of them transforming how she was feeling. This week’s listener wants to know how to deal with a partner that shuts down discussion and Natalie shares what she’s learned this week. Free resources referred to in this episode: Unsent Letter Guide: http://bit.ly/NatsULG Feelings Diary: http://bit.ly/FeelingsDiary Affirmations “I am safe. I am secure. All is well”, “I trust my higher self. I listen with love to my inner voice. I release all that is unlike the action of love”. “I always deserve love, care, trust and respect”. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay http://amzn.to/240ROAw Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie talks about why we get stressed out by Valentine’s Day and includes suggestions for putting things back into context plus she talks about why trying to get someone else to change won’t fix the problem, as well has how to keep a gossiping in check . This week’s listener question is about letting go after realising that even though a few years have gone by, you’re not over your divorce, plus Natalie shares what she learned about the need to take care of her inner child so that she isn’t always ‘serious’. Segment 2: 30-Day Project: Embrace Healthy Boundaries: http://bit.ly/ehbpod Use the code PODCAST to enjoy 30% of until end of 14/02/16 Segment 3: Advice Wednesday post http://bit.ly/advicewed Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie explains why you shouldn't write off the year if it hasn't started out as you envisioned, why some of us struggle with decision-making and what we need to make healthy decisions as well as why the early stages of dating is guesswork. This week's listener question is about how to recover from being told by two exes that they're not sexually attracted to her, plus Natalie shares what she's learned about her resistance to certain types of planning. More posts on decisions: http://bit.ly/18WfOMx http://bit.ly/SHmBkk http://bit.ly/1O2k91r http://bit.ly/1O32TJl http://bit.ly/1O2boEp Download The Unsent Letter Guide mentioned in the listener question segment from www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/downloads/ Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim or twitter.com/nataliemlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie questions whether a couple would really get divorced over leaving a glass out after reading a blog on the subject (http://bit.ly/MustBeThisTall), as well as explaining the 8 types of inner critic and their individual motivations and irrational fears, plus she offers up 6 magic words for that certain someone that wants to dump their responsibility on you. This week's listener question is about what to do when you want to confront an issue that needs confronting but the other person refuses and has 'ghosted' you, plus Natalie shares about what she learned about intuition when her daughter was ill recently. The blog I reference in the first segment is Must Be This Tall To Ride http://bit.ly/MustBeThisTall The Tune In To Your Inner Critic 30-Day Project mentioned in the second segment is here: http://bit.ly/30dayInnerVoice Facebook: www.facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: www.twitter.com/baggagereclaim or www.twitter.com/nataliemlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com

In this episode, Natalie explains why someone else’s partner isn’t the person for you, why change and happiness isn’t going to come from following rules that you’ve made based on guilt and fear, and why you can’t keep talking about intentions or how someone can’t help something, when they keep doing the same thing and they control themselves with others. This week’s listener question is from someone who wants to know why she hasn’t completely closed the door on a breakup from two years ago, plus Natalie shares what she learned this week when she got acknowledgment and an apology over 20 years after the original event. Facebook: facebook.com/baggagereclaim Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim or twitter.com/nataliemlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com