The Marc and Ken Video Store Podcast

Back like the rash that Tim suffered from drinking too much of the tainted punch, the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom is back with the 2nd part of our Halloween extravaganza, Halloween Tomb of Terror! The party continues as the 5 brothers from different mothers (maybe) shift gears to discuss the various shows, commercials, and toys that defined our childhood celebration of All Hallows Eve. We surround your ears with so much cellophane wrapped goodness that your head will feel like a Halloween treat from a creepy house that your parents would take out of your pillowcase. From Cosby Show Halloween Specials to the Halloween buckets at McDonald's, we will take you on a nostalgic journey which we are sure you will enjoy. So click the link! Or else one of the team will ring your doorbell and want both a trick and a treat. Which is just creepy.

In the most epic of parties, where the punch flows like wine (with a splash of manhood) and guests of all genders are present (even cross genders, or hermies) the crew of the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom decides that it is an opportune location to reminisce about the past.  More specifically, when we were wee little SEVR heads and were enamored with Halloween cartoons.  That’s right, in this episode we enter our Delorean and take the Way Back Machine to the days of good and actually freaky cartoons.  Hide in terror as we regale you with the tales of some of our very favorites, with such classics as Sleepy Hollow, Real Ghostbusters and the Garfield Halloween Special.  And  since this is merely part one of our Halloween retrospective, you have two other parts to look forward to.  But click this one first because it’s here.  And who wants to listen to them all out of order, Fancy style.  Enjoy!

We’ve laughed, we’ve cried (well just Chris. He gets emotional around horror movies) and said outlandish things. And now here we are, at our first milestone, episode 20! That’s right, 20 flagship SEVRPOD shows! So what better way to commemorate our 20th episode than to honor a man who is also celebrating a milestone in that it’s his birthday, Stephen King! That’s right! The masses wanted a sequel to the first Stephen King Double Feature and we listened, so here it is entitled A Tale of Two Carrie Diaries. In it, we are going to discuss the show the Carrie Diaries and the validity of Sex and the City to the horror genre. Wait, that has nothing to do with Stephen King and sounds absolutely terrible. No actually we discuss his classic story Carrie in its two film incarnations, 1976’s Carrie and the 2002 made for TV abomination, Carrie (complete with meteors!). We couldn’t have a 20th episode without the only 2 minutes that one will hold off having a bowel movement just to listen to, the 2 Minute Drill! Not only that, but the 2 Minute Drill has a brand new, incredible sponsor with a commercial that has to be heard to be believed. And what a riveting 2 Minute Drill it is! Listen in awe as the Fancy One travels to Sleepy Hollow and lives to tell the tale (as we also discuss how the headless horseman can perform menial tasks sans head). Dave finally sees Breaking Bad and acknowledges that he is a big stupid head for not watching the show till now. Chris asks for Seconds and is told no. Last but certainly not least, Marc watches Society in all its odd, disturbing glory. Carrie 1976 is next on the menu as the gang discusses the Brian DePalma film which gave us such iconic images as Sissy Spacek covered in blood, a young John Travolta with a southern accent, and a shower scene which features heavily prevalent 70’s bush. We then compare it to the made for TV Carrie from 2002 which features none of the things listed above but does feature horrid acting, meteors, terrible special effects and an ending much worse than the story. SEVR takes each movie and compares it to the King novel, and also discusses how we feel the upcoming remake will fare. We then bring back the most popular segment from the original Stephen King Retrospective episode, the product pitch game! In it, each member of the team pitches a Carrie themed product of their choosing. Without a shadow of a doubt, these are the most outlandish, crazy and hilarious products ever created. What are the products you ask? You have to listen to find out you big silly. So download and listen as this is one of the funniest episodes we have ever produced. Enjoy!

As a result of it being impossible to have too much Wan (which spelled backwards is Naw oddly yet hysterically enough), the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom is back with a special covering the sequel to one of our favorite horror movies of all time, Insidious Chapter 2. We at SEVRPOD waste no time as we analyze this film just a couple of days after its release. Dave and Marc are the two amazing individuals that are tasked with covering this important horror release with the comedy and filth that only they can provide.If you like spoilers (and who doesn’t except for those who haven’t seen the movie) then this episode may tickle your fancy (no, not Ken. Though he is quite ticklish. Or so I hear…). We delve deep to go into excruciating detail about every aspect of the film, discussing direction, lighting, plot, and Insidious themed GPS systems. Does this film get the very elusive and special SEVRPOD seal of approval or does it fall into a deep bloody puddle of fail? How do we feel about Chapter 3, which has just been green lit but will not be directed by James Wan, who instead prefers working with the likes of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker? Do we think that more horror films should feature a reliance on board games, such as Chutes and Ladders and Yahtzee? You will need to download the podcast to find out the answers to all these questions and a bunch that you never asked.

Do you like horror?  Do you like comedies?  How do you feel about horridies?  No it’s not a venereal disease, but a mutant combination of horror and comedy that creates a bulbous super powered creature capable of leveling a small fishing village.  Or a model of a city.  Either way, this episode is all about horror comedies that make us laugh, cry, and pee ourselves at the same time!  The Fanciest one of all, and on his birthday no less, leads the team on a winding journey through all things horror comedy.But first, it’s baaaack.  No, not Arnold as the Terminator.  It’s the triumphant return of 2 minutes of podcast bliss sure to get you excited (sexually and otherwise), the 2 MINUTE DRILL!!!  And what a 2 minute drill it is as the guys pull out all the stops.  Fancy blows out his birthday candles while trying to figure out why All the Boys Love Mandy Lane.  Marc watches the foreign film Poop Spread on Film, which you may know by its American title, Witchery featuring 100% more Hoff.  Dave discusses his special warm and fuzzy feelings about the film The Iceman and General Zod himself, Michael Shannon.  And Old School lives up to his moniker as he watches Hitchcock and drops knowledge as only he can.The team then shifts gears as Fancy M.C.’s a discussion regarding the three sub genres of horror comedy.  Marc tackles the spoofs while discussing such cinematic masterpieces as A Haunted House (boy those Wayans brothers sure know how to brew up a good spoof.  Or at least a bad one that somehow makes money) and Student Bodies, among many others.  Dave handles the sub genre of horror movies with comedy elements in them, such as Shaun of the Dead and his favorite, The Cabin in the Woods.  All while discussing wiping after a bowel movement with 1 ply (if that doesn’t sell you on listening to this episode, I don’t know what does…).  Old School Koenig tackles the gor-edy sub genre, or gory horror comedies in which he focuses on one of our favorites, Dead Alive (See!  Peter Jackson can direct movies that don’t feature little people with hairy feet).  So give it a listen, why don’t you? The Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom loves horror.  We love comedies.  And when you have an episode in which we discuss both, you have something that’s more special than Fancy’s birthday gift of an erector set.  I’ll buy that for a dollar!

Lets get ready to mumble! The drought is over as the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom is back with the 2nd Battlefield episode. We know you all have been thirsty for more of the violence that these Battlefield episodes bring (it’s pretend violence. Actually, it’s not really violence at all. Unless you find a slightly raised voice or a well timed rib violent. In which case this episode is probably not for you. Perhaps a G rated cooking show is more your speed…) and we at SEVRPOD always want to give you what you want. Host Dirty Dave Rodriguez emcees the festivities from his self made throne while he acts like the pretend king at Medieval Times. With him are two of the most vicious podcasters that have ever spoken into a microphone, Marc Rissmann and Ken “The Fancy Gentleman” Zuckerman. Together, they explore two movies who have such a level of hatred for each other that they came out in the same year just out of spite. The scrappy lesser known Near Dark vs. juggernaut The Lost Boys!Dave, Marc and Ken don’t just take a quick vote as to which they like better and then leave to go get ice cream (that would be an absolutely horrible episode). Nope, they go in depth in a variety of categories to determine a definitive winner. No split decisions here. 2 movies enter. 1 movie leaves with prizes that could only have been thought up by the SEVRPOD team. So click on the link soldier! That’s an order!

All good things must come to an end. Season 5 ended up being the final season to one of the greatest shows in the history of television, the Twilight Zone. And the Super Evil Vampire Robit Podcast of Doom gives it a proper send off and concludes its coverage of the show. Unfortunately, Fun Size Kazda had to head home to clear off more German Poop videos so the remaining 4 members have to soldier on without him. But this episode is chock full of content as we not only discuss the season but the show as a whole. Such questions are answered like who was better in Nightmare at 20,000 feet, William Shatner or John Lithgow? And how does a sheep monster with a merman face get on the wing of a plane anyway? Why does Talking Tina hate Kojak? Is it because he is follically challenged? If you hit a kid on a bike, such as the man in You Drive, does his pissed off ghost possess your car and play terrible music all night? The answers to all these questions and more await you in this episode as we put a nice, tidy bow on our Twilight Zone coverage. We may not be a dimension of sight, sound and mind. But we have a damn fine podcast that will thrill and amaze you with its might.

You’d think after hours of straight podcasting the SEVRPOD team would start to slow down. But nay, not these 5 individuals as their commitment to providing an amazing podcast doesn’t allow them to get tired or worn out. No, if anything, they get stronger as they cover one of the weaker seasons of the Twilight Zone, the 4th one. The shift to the hour long format may have been what Rod Serling wanted at the beginning, but the results in season 4 are decidedly mixed. That being said, the Super Evil Vampire Robit Podcast of Doom braves through to find the hidden treasures amongst the others. Like pirates with peg legs. And eye patches (why don’t you talk into my good eye!). Lots of important items are discussed, such as if Jess-Belle is a couger or a werepanther. If a young Dennis Hopper was better in the episode He’s Alive or in Super Mario Bros. the Movie as King Koopa (spoiler-that movie sucked and everything in it. It was the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked). And if Shakespere was rolling around in his grave at his portrayal in the train wreck that is The Bard. So click on the episode because we know you want more Twilight Zone. And because Rod loves you.

Taking on arguably the best season in the show’s history, the Super Evil Vampire Robit Podcast of Doom returns live from Dave’s basement, which used to be clean but now smells of White Castle and PBR. It’s going to take more than a Swiffer to clean this mess. The marathon day of podcasting continues as SEVRPOD tackles Season 3 of the Twilight Zone, in which some of the most memorable episodes took place. No fluff. No filler. Pure Twilight Zone as all five members debate, discuss and denounce each other’s favorites (there’s also some cuddling involved. Just be glad it’s a podcast and not a televised show because some censoring would need to occur. It’s like an underwear convention with all the rampant pantlessness that’s going on). Episodes like Five Characters in Search of an Exit, It’s a Good Life, Two, and others are discussed. Plus we go into Hocus-Pocus and Frisby…..(cough)….and debate it’s status as one of the worst episodes of the entire series. We actually put it in a cage with Mr. Dingle and have them fight to the death in a battle of the horrible episodes. So join us won’t you? And don’t think bad thoughts about us. Or else you will find yourself in a cornfield after being turned into a jack in the box. Because SEVRPOD don’t play and we have super powers.

Season 1’s podcast was epic, but nothing can prepare you for the kick to the junk that is Episode 15, Twilight Zone Season 2! That’s right, SEVRPOD is back, quickly, because we are givers (both in life overall and for the ladies, in the bedroom….what?!). So here’s a shiny new episode for the masses in which we discuss the 2nd season of the Twilight Zone. The setup is much the same as our season 1 episode, with the team going around the table going over which episodes tickled our fancy (not tickled Ken. Because even though he’s fancy, if you tickle him his face splitting rage will engulf mankind. Or at least envelop the one who is tickling him). Was Eye of the Beholder one of our favorites? Or did we enjoy watching an Obsolete Man and think the main character looks a lot like Micky from Rocky. Which was also odd because he was eating lightning and crapping thunder. Can’t be sanitary. Either way, the only way to find out our thoughts and feelings is to click on the link and listen to this episode. Because our episodes are like Frito Lay potato chips (not a sponsor. Yet…). You can’t listen to just one.

You unlock this door with the key to our hearts and outhouse. Beyond it is another dimension, a dimension of pantless individuals, a dimension of stupidity, a dimension of poop porn scandals. You’re moving into a land of both shadow (because you have your eyes closed) and substance (because you are holding a PBR), of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed into…the Twilight Zone! That’s right, the Super Evil Vampire Robit (not a typo) Podcast of Doom takes on one of the most revered shows in the history of television, the Twilight Zone. But we don’t just gloss over it like a bunch of lazy people that would rather bring up the fact that the creator’s name was Rod and then giggle like little school children. No, we take each season one by one going through our favorite and not so favorite episodes. So first up, oddly enough, is season 1. Didn’t see that one coming did you? No you didn’t cause we always keep you on your toes! No two minute drill. No 10 minute arena. No mercy!!!! So please join us! You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll wish you were listening to something else but we are like an STD that won’t go away. And eventually, you come to accept and even enjoy us! Remember, it’s about suppression.

Ignore the creature stuck to your ceiling with the claws and red face. Don’t mind the crazy witch bride that’s staring at you in your mirror.Unless you are wearing actual crazy witch bride garb and staring at yourself in the mirror, in which case might be time to take that off and seek help. Walk right past the ventriloquist dummy that just happens to be alive. And evil. Ignore all of that because the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom is back with a full boat show as we delve into a few of the movies by one of the best directors in horror today, James Wan! As a result of an unfortunate incident with Homeland Security involving an overabundance of German poop films on his computer, Fun Size Kazda was absent from the proceedings. But the remaining 4 soldier on to deliver all the incredible content you’ve come to expect from SEVR. As usual, we start with 2 minutes of your life which you will never get back, as much as you want to, the 2 Minute Drill! That’s right, it’s back. With teeth. And it bites (actually it’s more of a playful nibble. But I digress…). You get a double barreled attack from the Fancy one as he reviews Twixt (sounds like yummy chocolate candy. Mmmmm) and sees an Apparition (and lives to tell the tale. Because Fancy doesn’t get scared. He gets aggressively nervous). Dave finally sees Paranormal Activity 3 and doesn’t wet himself (Number 2 is actually preferred because 2 is greater than 1. Messier, yet greater). Marc is not a fan of Dark Skies but does enjoy going to The Bay for a day of fun in the sun. And last, but certainly not least, Old School confesses his sins to The Ghost of St. Aubin (he was there for about 6 hours. Because when you are Old School, there’s a whole lot of sinning going on. When he was done, St. Aubin gave him a sucker like when you are a kid and are done at the dentist.) Once that bit of business is done, it’s time to delve into the real meat and potatoes of the episode and discuss the films of Wan. Dead Silence is first as a debate breaks out over what’s scarier, a possessed ventriloquist doll or an unshaven Donnie Wahlberg, whose hanging tough. Insidious is next on the docket as the team tries to figure out the concept of astral projection and how to avoid going to the Further. Because it’s terrifying and there’s a creature there with an unhealthy affection for lipstick. Lastly, the team discusses Wan’s newest film, The Conjuring, and lets you know if it’s worth your time or if you should go see R.I.P.D. instead (spoiler-Conjuring wins. Matter of fact, most movies win over R.I.P.D. And it’s not mentioned at all. You’re welcome.) Cap it off with some ghost stories and you have a podcast that you can really sink your teeth into. So click on the link, silly! Because SEVR is back with 100% more Wan!

It’s a phenomenon the likes of which hasn’t been seen since…well….the last phenomenon. It bombarded twitter with over a million tweets about it. It combines two things that no one else even thought to put together and yet it magically works somehow. It’s resurrected the careers of Ian Zierling and Tara Reid, both of which have come a long way since 90210 and American Pie, respectively. And it’s one of the most ridiculous, stupid amazing films you’ve ever seen. That’s right, it’s SHARKNADO! You didn’t think that a film event the scope of this would go by and SEVR would just sit idly by and not discuss it, did you? Nope, SEVRPOD is all over it with a special to end all specials as we go deep into the ocean and try not to get eaten by random flying sharks. The dynamic duo of Marc and Dave are back to do another special to undertake the daunting task of trying to make sense of things. The two men responsible for this film are the Oscar nominated team (just thinking ahead because now that this movie has been released upon the masses, it’s just a matter of time) of Anthony Ferrante and the furiously ironically named Thunder Levin. What they have given us is a gift of the absurd, a movie so unbelievably stupid that it succeeds because it embraces the ridiculousness of the whole thing and then goes the extra mile. Do you like sharks climbing ropes? Sharks leaping into helicopters? Chainsaws vs. sharks? Shotgun blasts to the fin? A character named Finn? Then this movie is for you. SEVRPOD goes into spoilerific detail as the entire movie is broken down, analyzed, and dissected for the hidden meaning (answer: the sharks represent society’s inability to cope with their own vulnerabilities. Or…er…..sharks like to ride in tornadoes and kill people. Either way). This episode is as hard hitting as a bar stool to the shark snout and as subtle as, well, a tornado with sharks in it. So stop reading this, ignore the giant tidal wave with a ton of sharks coming towards your home, and click on the episode because sharks are living creatures too. With teeth. An affinity for blood. And according to this movie, fine motor skills and the ability to jump, fly, and swallow people whole.

Come take our hand, brave listener, and enter the swamp.  His swamp.  Don’t mind the loud roars in the distance.  The random blood and body parts strewn about.  The occasional hatchet whizzing by your head.  We won’t let him hurt you.  Much.  SEVRPOD is back with our 3rd special and we take on our favorite deformed, overall wearing giant killer, Victor Crowley, and live to tell the tale as we go over the cinematic masterpiece, Hatchet III. Only 2 souls were brave enough to take on such a task, and those individuals are none other than Dave and Tim.  They fearlessly venture into all things Hatchet and are brave enough to ignore the random set of testicles that are conspicuously hanging from a tree branch.  Partially because random testicles strewn about are nothing new to these two.  And even though this special has more spoilers than a pantry full of moldy bread, there is plenty of delicious content here in case you are new to the Hatchet franchise.  Hatchet I and II are discussed with a brief plot synopsis to set the bloody table for the third installment, which is brought to you in the detail only SEVRPOD can deliver.  Dialogue, characters and plot are all discussed.  Basically the whole kit and caboodle (always wanted to work that phrase into a synopsis.  Now that can be taken off the bucket list!) with the comedic grace that you’ve come to expect from SEVR. So click on the episode and join the dynamic duo on an entrails laden tour where the only thing to fear is a humongous deformed monster in overalls who likes long walks in the swamp and decapitations.  He also likes being petted and scratched behind the ears.  If you can find his ears.  Enjoy!

Bust out your bathing suits (and make sure that if you wear a thong, that your body is thong approved.  If you have to guess, the answer is probably an emphatic no), get your beach towels and put on your sunscreen so you don’t burn to a crisp.  And red is not considered tan.  It’s just red.  Either way, come jump into the ocean with the Super Evil Vampire Robot Podcast of Doom as we venture into the sun drenched landscape that is summer horror.  And that white stuff on our nose is sunscreen.  Don’t get any ideas.  Sickos. It’s the entire team, back again after a brief hiatus to regale our wonderful audience with tales of triumph, woe and unclean touching.  This is also a special episode because it’s hosted by the one and only Fancy Gentleman, so ladies please calm yourselves before clicking on this podcast as the smooth tones of his voice are liable to send you all into hysterics.  As always, the 2 minute drill features the crew going through what they have been watching since the last time we entered all of your lives.  Fancy kicks off the proceedings talking about a pile of hot trash given lovingly to him by Tim called Blades.  Which is about a killer lawnmower.  Nuff said.  Marc throws in two summery horror movies in Humanoids from the Deep and Blood Beach.  And discusses horny fish monsters.  Compelling and rich.  Dave discusses the season premieres of Dexter and True Blood plus talks about an affinity for Fairy Babies.  Chris shows us his Chernobyl Diary and why shaky cameras make him nauseous.  And Tim…well….wishes his wife a Happy Birthday and panders to the audience.  *cough*.  *crickets*. It is then time for each member of the team to try to convince Ken that the summer horror movie that they choose is the definitive representation of the sub-genre.  Hear as each member panders to the Fancy one in hopes of winning the prize of possible defecation.  The crew battles it out, insults each other and compares whose Sun is bigger.  And that is in no way an innuendo for anything.  Once Fancy chooses a winner, the team embarks on a Choose Your Own Adventure type story in which the members have to make critical choices that often lead to hysterical results.  Will Dave kill Tim to win a boat race?  Will Marc end up Liberace’s love child?  Will Chris end up friends with his favorite director, Michael Bay and still get the girl?  To get the answers to these burning questions, you need to click on the podcast and listen.  Do it.  Do it now.  You won’t be sorry.  Well, you might be sorry but we don’t accept apologies.  Or give out refunds.  Enjoy!