Don Woods

.....This week's "There and back in a day" feature with Radio Merseyside's Monty Lister takes us to Salzburg in Austria....again we started out from Speke Airport about 6.30 in the morning and arrived in Salzburg for our guided tour with Monty again interviewing travellers and me taking care of the sound......the first thing I noticed was the freshness of the air and the fabulous views of the surrounding mountains....we were taken to all the beauty spots and historic places ....but what stood out was our visit to the churchyard where they filmed part of the Sound of Music.....I couldn't believe how small it was.....virtually like a back yard....at about 6 in the evening everything closes and through the darkness I spotted a pub so we made for that....as we sat there with a beer I told Monty how it was just like one of our pubs with the same kind of customers....I then realised that the crowd were all off our plane....which explained it....it was then back on the plane and back to Liverpool with another travelogue in the bag. The song this week is one I wrote for my mate- wrestler Adrian Street.....it is a song which I originally tried to push to publishers and record companies with no success and when I met Adrian I decided to record it with him as it suited his image....when he moved to the States he made a video of it and got it on MTV....just a quick message to all you big time boffins in the music industry....the song paid off my mortgage...which shows how much YOU know....so here it is the classic "I'm In Love With Me".....beautifully sung by Adrian Street.

Don's news rant followed by .....This week I would like to tell you about another day trip I did as Monty Lister's sound man for another of his travelogues on Radio Merseyside....this week we feature Bergen in Norway....there and back in a day....again we started out from Speke Airport at around 6 in the morning...off the plane at Bergen and on to the coach.....Bergen is a beautiful place,very picturesque,and we were taken to the small harbour in the town where we boarded a boat and were treated to a trip down the fjord......which was spectacular with Monty in his element describing the scenery and interviewing fellow passengers.....the views were stunning.....when we got back to the town we were then taken to the funicular railway which takes you to the top of the nearby mountain which again was spectacular...from the top you had a breathtaking view of Bergen and the fjords.....on returning back to earth Monty suggested going for a beer in a nearby pub where we could sit outside and enjoy the scenery.....Monty offered to get the drinks...while he was gone I switched on the recorder and said "Monty Lister is now buying a round of drinks...the last time this happened three wise men came from the east"....I then switched it off as Monty arrived with two bottles of beer....he told me they cost £7 each which explained why he was staggering a bit....14 quid for two bottles of beer......once he had recovered we went back to the coach and got the plane back to speke with another travelogue in the bag......during the week Monty phoned me and said he was editing the programme and was not amused by my comment which he obviously edited out.

This week the subject of my Radio Merseyside day trips as soundman for Monty Lister takes us to Tromso in Norway for one of his many travelogues......Tromso (pronounced Trumsa) is the most northerly town on the planet so needless to say it was a bit nippy....around minus 30 degrees.....the object was to see the northern lights as you can't get any closer to them than Tromso.....we left Speke airport in Liverpool around 6.30 in the morning and arrived in Tromso at about 9 o'clock then on to a coach for a tour of the town which was set in solid ice with Monty doing his usual commentary.....we were then taken to a large yurt for lunch where we were entertained by a young lady on guitar singing local songs....we were then taken on the coach to a high point to see The Northern Lights....however it was so cloudy we didn't see them....close but no cigar....we were then treated to a lecture by Patrick Moore who educated us all on the Northern Lights...

When I worked on Radio Merseyside with Monty Lister there was a local travel company who organised DAY trips to various destinations abroad....where the plane would take off from Speke Airport in Liverpool at about 6 or 7 in the morning and get back about 10 at night.....Monty would arrange a free ticket for both of us in exchange for a half hour travelogue which he broadcast on his Sunday Morning programme....he would describe the tour as we did it and I was his soundman.........one of our many excursions was to Marrakech....yes there and back in a day....when we arrived there it was pouring with rain and cold with the locals gratefully thanking us for the welcome weather.....which the day trippers in their flowery shirts and shorts didn't go along with....we did a tour of the "Sooks" which is a massive market place with thousands of market stalls selling all sorts from pots and pans to shoes and fezzes....with characters walking alongside of you trying to sell you all sorts....not to mention the occasional horse and cart going past down the aisles....

Firstly I would like to discuss the postage system in this country...which is a joke...a second class letter now costs 65p to post (which in old money is 13 shillings)....BUT what a lot of people don't realise is there are TWO types of second class letters which go by size........ O.K. I feel better now.......the song this week is from an album I composed called DooWop Days and is available from my website...the tracks take you back to the golden days of doowop music ....this track is a tribute to Ricky Nelson who was one of my favourite stars of the 50s and early 60s.....his guitarist was a guy called James Burton who also backed Elvis through the Vegas years....I had the privilege of doing eight concerts with him singing Ricky Nelson classics backed by my favourite guitarist....which for me gets no better than that.....so here it is my "Tribute To Ricky Nelson"

The song this week is from one of my albums entitled "DooWop Days" which can be obtained from my website and can be streamed from the internet.....the song is a tribute to a pop star who is sadly no longer with us....Bobby Vee........I had the pleasure of opening his show on two occasions and he was the nicest guy you could possibly meet....we hit it off straight away and he was a delight....so here it is "The Bobby Vee Song" ............Strawberry Field in Liverpool where...and I quote..."John Lennon used to climb over the wall and play as a child and eventually wrote his famous song about it"......well now you can obtain a limited edition BRICK from the building for....wait for it....75 pounds......is it me or is the world going nuts.....it will be interesting to see how many customers they get from America and how they intend to post it.....I have recently posted some orders for my DVDs.....postage 4 pounds EACH.....so how much a house brick will cost doesn't bear thinking about. As I have said before there is nothing more annoying than a radio DJ making a negative comment about a record....if they don't like it don't play it....stupid comments cost sales....and even worse joining in with a record while it's being played....recently Steve Wright played "Every Time You Go Away You Take A Piece of Me With You"....he said at the start of the record that he used to sing "you take a piece of MEAT with you".....then joined in on the record saying that on every chorus which wasn't funny once let alone five or six times.....records cost a lot of money to make and fans of the artists don't want to hear an unfunny DJ ruining the song.

Forget the success of the vaccine rollout which has put this country ahead of everywhere else...there is obviously a far worse crisis....Boris is being accused of decorating his flat and NOT PAYING FOR IT...and he is being accused of making a hurtful statement about the economy....which nobody seems to have actually heard....this is the level the opposition party have to resort to in order to look like they are actually doing SOMETHING....what a bunch of no marks.....still I suppose it gives the TV news programmes something to prattle on about which saves them having to search for news that actually matters. .....the sad thing is these publicity seeking prats who are not capable of anything other than making pathetic comments about trivia are the alternative to the present government........

The BBC are still getting slated over the blanket coverage of the royal funeral....and Nicholas Witchell is taking a lot of stick with his reading of the "body language" between William and Harry in an attempt to invent news... I always watch a bit of TV before I go to sleep as I find it helps me nod off......especially "Match of The Day" on Saturday nights with the recorded crowds....by the time we get to the pundits I am away.....but last Friday there was nothing worth watching so I thought I would try Graham Norton to see if had improved.....it hadn't.... The song this week is about this wonderful part of the world and was the follow up to my now famous "How To Say Llanfairpwll etc"....it is called The Magic of Wales and is again sung by my pal Paul Damian.....my tribute to the Land of Song.

The song this week has a story to it....I was asked to write it for a bloke in Birmingham who was going to put a huge country and western show show on and bring stars over from the States and have rodeos etc etc.....his name was Brian "Sundance" Brooks and he had a shop which sold cowboy gear called "Urban Cowboy"....as the cowboy thing was big in the midlands....I was commissioned to write and record the song and put it on vinyl with his name as the singer (as he couldn't sing).....I went down to Birmingham to a big meeting about this huge happening with all these high flyers from London talking about their planes and boats and getting involved in this amazing event.....one look at "Sundance" told me he was a conman.....so I said I would make the record and sort out the vinyls but I wanted paying up front....despite the gasps of disbelief I got the money and did the record.....before I actually delivered it Mr."Sundance" Brooks had vanished with all the investment money and hasn't been seen since....that's showbiz.....so here it is the record that never was "Urban Cowboy"..

On the subject of TV sports coverage ... I am still recovering from the excitement of the Oxford and Cambridge boat race....I don't think...I'm afraid I fail to see the point of this so called sporting event which is broadcast for a whole afternoon ....who cares?....it has to be the most boring event in sport....closely followed by horse racing....I'm sure lots of people watch it - but I don't know ANYONE that does...it's purely for those who wander into the bookies and lose their cash as they have nothing better to do....not to mention the occasional marathon where the camera follows some individual for 26 miles where the only excitement is when they grab a paper cup full of water,drink it and throw it away....IT'S BORING!!....let's stick to giving us sport that is worth watching...I would rather go to the park and watch a sunday league football match than be subjected to a race between a couple of universities......having said all this I have played a lot of sport over the years and have always been a participant rather than a spectator.

The standard of TV is becoming a joke......there are some decent programmes but you behave to search for them by skilfully trying to dodge the cookery programmes or Ant and Dec.....and the talentless Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton with their selection of stars of stage screen and scrapheap....who they "chat" to about their latest book,play or comeback and have to roar laughing at nothing....then we have multi millionaire Gary Linacre sitting with a couple of football "pundits"discussing a football match we have just watched.....yes old Gary gets millions for his weekly 90 minutes....well worth my licence fee.

As Don and his English buddies prepare to knock out a few divots on their favourite fairways Welsh beauty spots were rammed with visitors this weekend as the country lead the UK out of lockdown in Wales when the 'stay local' requirement was dropped on Saturday.    Unrestricted travel within Welsh borders is now permitted, self-contained holiday accommodation spots - including several hotels, cottages and B&Bs - can reopen their doors and groups of six from two different households can meet up outside.  

This week we had a few technological problems so we worked differently. We discussed the violent protest in Britain against the right to protest non-violently. You couldn't write the script. We developed ideas of what's really behind such nonsense before moving to mums waitingoutside schools in the morning-some of them in curlers and nightwear! What an example for their offspring. We then discussed GOATS and Elephant's trunks before looking back at Don's song .Roll us yer hat Uncle Stan.

The pandemic has revealed a lot about the human race....it has illustrated how kind and caring some people can be and how stupid and selfish others can be.......it is assumed we are all intellectually the same but as I have always said we are still evolving...some a lot slower than others.....Christmas was the perfect example where the population are "allowed" to have family gatherings if they are sensible...so they do because they are told they can....and what do we get - another serious outbreak resulting in another lockdown which was obviously going to happen....but a large selection of the population don't get it....because they lack simple intelligence.....the result being unnecessary deaths and suffering.

.....and still they pull down statues and meet up for rave parties and charge around with their stupid pointless protests....which does make you wonder about university education....seems to me it makes these students THINK they are clever....the only purpose these idiots are achieving is to spread this virus and prolong the epidemic but they don't seem to see that.....and amongst all this nonsense we have some piece of manure walking into a park and stabbing people....which we now know was a linked to terrorism.....and apparently the police knew about him....he's been arrested and no doubt will go to prison but that doesn't help the victim