Parenting Today’s Teens

#2011 Moms and dads have heard that sooner or later, they’ll have to show their teen a little “tough love.” But what exactly does that mean? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Tough love isn’t making her suffer consequences, or holding her to a strict set of standards. That approach is actually pretty easy compared to what I believe it really is. Tough love is loving your teen when she says she hates you. When she violates the very core of what you’re all about. When she’s intent on going against what you’ve taught her. And when she purposely pushes you to your limit and beyond. I know it’s tough to love someone who’s acting like that. But trust me when I say your long-term reward will be worth the effort. Ready to use some “tough love”?

#2010 Is your child getting close to his thirteenth birthday? Mom, Dad, get ready for a major shift in parenting! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. For the first twelve years of your child’s life, you teach them. Then, it’s time to train them. For twelve years, you give them lectures. Then, you have conversations. For the first twelve years, you convey information. Then, you impart wisdom. As your child becomes a teenager, his needs will change. He’ll need training, not teaching. Conversations, not lectures. Will you adjust your parenting style to meet the demands of each new season? Or hope that the same old tricks will still work? Updating your parenting habits may be uncomfortable … and even a little bit painful. But make this birthday a turning point … for you and your teen

#531 We live in a world of criticism. And thanks to the internet and social media, this culture of negativity is only getting worse. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston discusses how parents can make their home a place of love and encouragement rather than criticism.

#2009 Throughout the course of my life, I’ve attended more than four-hundred weddings. And after a while, you start to notice some similarities. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. At weddings, people are always making speeches. And in four hundred ceremonies, I’ve never heard a mom stand up and say, “Oh, I love my daughter because she remembers all the things I taught her in life.” I’ve never seen a bride get up and say, “Mom, remember when you used to correct me all the time?” But you know what I do hear? “Mom, Dad, I’m so grateful for the time we spent together.” Ten years down the road … what will your child say about you? At the end of the day, they’ll remember the time you spend … more than the words you say.

#2008 When we hold our newborns for the first time, all the possibilities for their lives flash through our minds. Then, when they become teenagers, reality hits. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents dream about their children becoming dancers, football players, and rocket scientists … pop stars, journalists, and politicians. Then one day Mom and Dad wake up … and realize their teen didn’t turn out the way they always imagined. Have your dreams gotten way off course from reality? Maybe that’s not such a bad thing! Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts, humans plan their course … but the Lord establishes their steps.” God may have a different path for your child than the one you imagined. So trust in Him … ‘cause chances are, His plans are a whole lot better than yours.

#2007 Parents who’ve been divorced often ask me this question: “What should I do when my ex enforces different rules with the kids?” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Maintaining consistency in your teen’s life can be a challenge, especially if she spends part of her week somewhere else. But be careful not to change the boundaries, rules, and consequences in your own home just to make it a more attractive place to be. You should always keep your child’s best interests at heart, regardless of what your ex does or doesn’t do. Remember, kids are resilient in these situations. As your teen grows older, she’ll gravitate toward the parent she believes wants the best for her. And one day, she’ll look back and thank you for helping her get to a better place.

#2006 I grew up in a rigid household. Not a lot of room for making mistakes. Do you have some tough memories, too? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When I was growing up, it was Dad’s way or the highway. He was a drill sergeant. Keep your room squeaky clean. Yes sir. No sir. Don’t cuss. Never be late. And speak only when you’re spoken to. Don’t get me wrong. Respect ran high. But our relationship suffered under dad’s rule. Well, the older I get, the more I understand his motives. I have disappointments. But he’s made me the man I am today. And I’m constantly reminded that God can bring good out of any situation. Yours, too. We don’t need to live like victims! And no matter how bad things got in your home, God can bring beauty from ashes.

#2005 I try not to make promises I can’t keep. But here’s one promise I feel confident enough to make to you today … your teen will mess up! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Sooner or later, something’s bound to happen. She’ll get caught driving too fast … and come home with a speeding ticket. Or he’ll put off studying … and flunk the big history test. When our teens blow it, we often think that we need to be the consequence. We’ll pull away, retract our love, and give them the cold shoulder. But don’t you think that failing grade or speeding ticket is punishment enough? The next time your teen messes up, keep loving them while you let the natural consequences do their work. Your love shouldn’t change once your kid messes up. And, believe me, he will mess up!

#2004 Have you ever wondered what your teen really thinks? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents … there’s no need to wonder. Just ask! The truth is, most teens have a hidden desire to tell their mom and dad what’s really on their mind. But our kids have gotten so used to tweeting and texting that they find it difficult to communicate their emotions in a face- to- face conversation. So … if you’re willing to help them get started, and you’re ready to hear an honest answer … try asking this question at dinner tonight: “Where do you think I’m lacking as a parent?” That’ll spark a discussion! And you’ll find out what your teen really thinks. Ready for the challenge? Ask the question and give ‘em an opportunity to share what they’ve been longing to say.

6 Steps to Becoming a Courageous Parent

#2003 In my decades of working with teens and their families … I’ve met a lot of overzealous and overprotective parents. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents don’t pamper their teens because they want to do the wrong thing. In fact, they do it from a heart of love. But it’s so much better to love your teenager in a healthy manner … that allows him to grow up and mature. Think of it this way: Every decision you make for your daughter is one less decision she has to make for herself. And every day that you keep your son dependent on you is one less day he has to become an independent adult. Are you an overprotective parent? Quit coddling! It’s time to let go … back off … and let your teen take control.

#2000 Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a great big “undo” button that would completely erase all of your parenting mistakes? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Unfortunately, no such button exists. But perhaps if we stopped repeating the mistakes that other parents have made, we wouldn’t need an undo button in the first place. Think about it. There are generations upon generations of moms and dads that have come before us. And they’ve faced many of the same issues you’re struggling with today. So here’s your homework assignment. Sit down with a few veteran parents and ask them this question: “If you could do this parenting thing all over again, what would you do differently?” Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. And taking their regrets to heart might keep you from repeating their mistakes.

#529 Today’s “anything goes” culture is cultivating confusion among teens about sexual identity. Kids are encouraged to act on their feelings and express their “true self.” So, how should moms and dads react if their child is experimenting with same-sex relationships? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston gives parents helpful tools to discuss homosexuality with teens in a sensitive and loving manner.

Adam was a good kid who came from a Christian home. But when he transformed into a disrespectful, dishonest, and rebellious teen, his parents turned to me for help. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. When I sat down to talk with Adam, this is what he told me: He was only allowed to watch G- rated movies. He couldn’t wear t-shirts with any insignia of any kind. He couldn’t go out during the week, unless it was for church. He was only allowed to listen to Christian music. And this kid was seventeen years old! Now, Adam’s parents had good intentions. They followed their protective instincts. But their rigid boundaries actually drove their son to rebellion. Are you trying to shield your teen from danger? Train him for the world in which he’ll live … not the world you wish he could live in!

When teens step out of line, I always encourage parents to uncover the real reason behind their behavior. But in certain circumstances, it’s possible they’re dealing with a good ol’ case of rebellion. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. If you truly have a rebellious teen on your hands, here’s my encouragement: God has not abandoned you! Even when you don’t see it, He’s at work. And in due time, God’s gonna use everything that’s happening in the life of your teen to bring him or her to a better place. Now, it’s the “due time” part that’s the kicker for us. It could be a month, or it could be twenty years. But however long it takes, don’t underestimate God’s continual involvement in your situation. He hasn’t left you or your teen … and He never will.