Parenting Today’s Teens

#2058 Back in my day, bullies were confined to name-calling at lunchtime … taunts on the playground … or fights behind the gym after school. But today, bullies have way more tools of torment at their disposal. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. You know, there’s probably nothing that makes me any more angry than when I see kids goin’ at each other in a slug fest. But these days, cyber bullies are far more prevalent. Teens post insults on message boards … send threats through text messages … spread rumors via Facebook. To cut someone down, all a bully needs is an Internet connection and a little imagination. So Mom, Dad … keep tabs on your teen … not only to protect him … but to make sure you don’t have a bully right under your roof!

#2057 Getting a shot at the doctor’s office or having blood drawn for a test might hurt … but it’s for your own good! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Most parents believe that pain and discomfort should be avoided at all costs. However, pain is often the perfect remedy for a misbehaving teen. See, teens will continue making poor choices and bad decisions … until the resulting pain is greater than the pleasure derived from their behavior. And by preventing your child from feeling the pain of their mistakes, you might just be enabling them to continue down that destructive path. Are you trying to shelter your teen from pain and discomfort? Mom, Dad … let them experience the consequences of their actions. It’s for their own good!

#2056 The single, most common question parents ask me is, “What is the most important thing I can do as a parent to help my kids?” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents always seem surprised when I tell them that the most important thing they can do is join a small group. But here’s the simple truth: parents need support! As a mom or dad, you’re going to face challenges that will test your patience, endurance, and faith. There will be days when you feel like stepping down as a parent and looking for another job with less stress and better pay. That’s why we need people around us who can offer help when we’re struggling, celebrate when things are going well, and listen when life is spiraling out of control. Parenting is a daunting assignment … so make things a little easier for yourself. And don’t go it alone!

#2055 As a parent, how do you know exactly the right time to extend grace? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I recently worked with a teen who rarely received grace at home. He spewed anger on everyone and everything around him … including the side of my van. But instead of having him arrested for bashing my vehicle with a baseball bat … I told him that he was forgiven, that he wouldn’t be arrested, and that we were going to work things out differently from now on. As we talked, I saw tears come to his eyes. He had never experienced that kind of forgiveness. And giving him grace at just the right moment went a long way to change the direction he was headed. Remember … giving grace is most often needed the moment when it’s least deserved.

#540 – Student Story: Jake Are you experiencing helplessness, hopelessness, or fear regarding your teen? You don’t have to do this alone. It’s okay to ask for help! This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston encourages parents to take action when their family is in crisis and outlines a three-step plan for intervention.

#2054 Recently, I read a fascinating story about a mom who never left her son’s side. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Travis loved to jump from the swings at the playground. And that was fine, ‘cause his mom was always there to catch him before he hit the ground. Then came the first day of kindergarten. And when it was time for recess, Travis climbed onto the swing set, got up as high as he could, and took a big leap into the air. Only this time, mommy wasn’t around … so he fell and broke his arm. When Travis’s mom got the phone call, she was absolutely furious, and shouted, “This whole thing happened because I wasn’t there!” His teacher replied, “No, it happened because you were always there.” Mom, Dad … don’t shield your teen from the consequences of their actions! The later they learn, the more painful the lesson will be.

#2053 Have you ever fallen off a horse? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. I work with teens at a residential counseling facility in Texas … so forgive me for using horses to teach life lessons. But when kids get on a horse for the first time, chances are they’re going to fall off. And when they do, we don’t criticize their skills … we encourage them to get back on. If they fall off again … we encourage some more. And we praise their bravery for getting back in the saddle. During this process, the horse doesn’t change … but the rider learns to overcome his awkwardness and fear. So when your teen falls off track in life, help him to get back on. Your encouragement—and not your criticism—will make all the difference!

#2052 President Theodore Roosevelt said, “I can be President of the United States, or I can control my daughter, Alice. I cannot do both.” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Parents of strong-willed kids understand that raising them requires a lot of time, attention, and effort. It’s not easy to harness their energy and put it to good use. These kids will always put boundaries to the test … and challenge the system. So, if you have a strong-willed teen at home, remember these few keys… · Get on the same page discipline-wise with your spouse. · Communicate your boundaries clearly … · And make sure consequences are explained well in advance! It may take extra time and energy … but there are ways to make the most of your interactions with a strong-willed teen. Soon, he’ll become a strong, principled young adult!

#2051 When your teen spits out some contentious remark about legalizing marijuana or abortion rights … how should you respond? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. You might feel concerned about your child’s thinking now. But you do have the power to influence it. Here are some principles I think will help: Take your child out once a week to help establish a good point of communication. Ask open-ended questions that challenge them to think for themselves. Always treat them with respect. And don’t share your own opinion unless they ask for it. Sure, these are sometimes easier said than done. But with time and patience, you can build a meaningful relationship with your teen that affirms you still—and will always—love him … even if you disagree.

#2050 Have you ever noticed that teens who are irresponsible and unmotivated often have parents who are just the opposite? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Hardworking moms and dads often have a tendency to be over- responsible for their children’s lives. Rather than letting their kids take care of their own problems, mom and dad immediately volunteer to step in and help. But there’s one thing these parents don’t realize. The more that mom and dad do for their child … the less their child has to do for himself! So has your teen figured out that he can be immature and irresponsible as long as mom and dad are there to rescue him? It’s time to let go, step back … and give him the space he needs to foster independence.

#539 – Student Story: Noelle Single parenting is tough—especially when you’re parenting a teen! So, how can single moms navigate the unique challenge of raising adolescents? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston offers help and hope to single moms, and gives advice on how to connect with their teens.

#2049 There are three “C’s” in every teenager’s home: change, conflict … and chaos! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. After living with teens and working with their families for three decades … I am well acquainted with each of these “C’s”! But let me say this: one of them is avoidable! When kids grow, change is necessary. Mom and Dad need to flex in order to keep connecting with and training their kids. Then, in every family there will be conflict. Sometimes it comes because a teen is changing. Sometime it comes simply because we’re human. But chaos … that’s the “C” that doesn’t have to rule your home. Change is scary. And conflict is even worse. But running from change and conflict will only lead to chaos!

#2048 No parent ever dreams that their child might experiment with drugs, alcohol or some other dangerous activity. But the reality is … it happens every day. So how can we see past the crushing feelings of grief or betrayal … and help our teens get to a better place? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Once you’ve discovered the truth about your child’s behavior, let it sink in for a few days … and give yourself time to pray and seek counsel. Then, as soon as you’re ready, confront the issue with your teen. I recommend setting up three separate meetings to expose problems, express feelings, and discuss expectations. Finally, trust that God will give direction as you walk along the path of this conflict. He promises to stay by your side every step of the way.

#2047 Did you know that in Hartford, Connecticut, it’s illegal to cross the street walking on your hands? Or in Wilbur, Washington, it’s against the law to drive an ugly horse? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Nothing undermines the power of a rule more than when it’s totally irrelevant and inappropriate. And just like how politicians need to reevaluate some of those old, crazy laws … parents need to review the rules in their own home to make sure they’re still practical, attainable, and beneficial. Do you still make your 16- year- old son hold your hand while crossing the street? Or enforce an 8 o’clock curfew with your 18- year- old daughter? Of course not! So ditch the crazy laws at home! Your teen will be grateful for boundaries that are practical, attainable, and beneficial.

#2046 Recently, a parent asked me this question: “If I suspect that my teen is involved in an inappropriate relationship … should I pry into their private life to find out for sure?” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston … with Parenting Today’s Teens. Now, trusting your teen is important. But if you have a hunch there’s something going on … don’t be afraid to act! A violation of your family policies warrants an invasion of your teen’s privacy until you’re sure you know the truth. Start by talking with teachers and school officials about their observations. Read your teen’s texts and emails, and check their browsing history or Facebook profile. Listen for clues you might normally overlook in a conversation. Remember, adolescents are especially vulnerable to being deceived and making poor choices. So it’s up to parents to take precautions now to keep their family from unraveling in the years to come.