Stay Happily Married

Are you ready to have children, but your spouse is not on board? Having children is a very important part of any relationship. This large commitment is exhilarating for some and terrifying for others. Some people get so used to living only for themselves that the idea of children seems impossible. The real problem arises when one spouse is ready to make this life change, while their partner is not. What can be done when a couple is stuck at this impasse? Our guest today has the answer to this question. Dr. Gina LaFrazza is a psychologist at Lepage Associates in Durham, NC where she provides counseling and evaluation services to individuals of all ages. Couples work with Dr. LaFrazza for a variety of concerns, such as transitioning to parenthood, infertility, managing boundaries with extended family, jealousy and trust, as well as increasing sexual and emotional intimacy. Dr. LaFrazza holds a Doctorate and Master’s in Clinical Psychology, as well as a second Master’s in Educational Psychology. To find out more about Dr. Gina LaFrazza you can visit the Lepage Associates website or call 919-572-0000 for an appointment.

Are your intimacy issues to blame for those extra pounds that you’ve put on? We've heard of couples who begin to pack on the pounds when they are in a committed relationship and feel comfortable with each other, but there may be an underlying reason to this new weight gain. Our guest today will let us in on how the ups and downs of our relationships can effect our eating habits, as well as how to prevent those unnecessary binges. Karen Koenig is an expert on the psychology of eating. For over 30 years Karen has been working to help troubled eaters, who have been stuck in a cycle of dieting and bingeing, to break free and access a healthier lifestyle that will keep them at a healthy weight for life. Karen has a double Master’s in Education and Social Work. Karen is the international  author of four books that focus on eating and weight, including Nice Girls Finish Fat, The Rules of "Normal" Eating, The food and Feelings Workbook, as well as What Every Therapist Needs to Know about Treating Eating and Weight Issues. Karen’s free Facebook app, called APPetite, will be available this online this month. Karen also moderates a Yahoo Food and Feelings board, as well as a weekly blog for Gurze books.

Is human nature to blame for your lackluster relationship? Sometimes we get so preoccupied with the hustle and bustle around us that we forget we are only human. We too are animals at the base of it all. The innate instincts that we all possess can do anything from save our life to end our relationship. Our guest today has insight into how things like our brain activity and physiological functions can affect our relationship. Chad Jordan, of Systemic Health Resources in Raleigh, NC, has been working to help couples in a different way then most other psychological professionals. Chad works with the psychological and relational resources that emphasize the interconnected nature of the human condition. Chad is a North Carolina native having received his Bachelor’s in Psychology from UNC and his Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Appalachian State. To find out more about Chad Jordan and Systemic Health Resources you can visit their website at or call 1-800-755-6309 for an appointment.

Is your relationship lacking the intimacy it once had? With the pressure of a busy schedules, economic stress, and the multiple roles we all fill, it is only expected that we are all stressed and exhausted by the end of the day. With our energy levels tapped, our intimacy levels drop too. Carla Rosinski believes that a lack of sexual intimacy can be a symptom of a lack of intimacy in other areas. Carla Rosinski, founder of Rosinski Therapy and Consultation in Raleigh, NC, has been focusing on counseling families, individuals, and couples for over 10 years. Carla is a licensed professional counselor with a Master’s in Counseling Psychology. When Carla isn’t working with couples she enjoys traveling and spending time with her pup at the dog park. To find out more about Carla Rosinski and Rosinski Therapy and Consultation you can visit her website or call 919-724-1181 for an appointment.

Find yourself at odds with your spouse about how to spend your hard earned money? Although no one likes to admit to being materialistic, we all are. How can we not be? Our entire society runs off one thing…money. We need it to put a roof over our head, food in our bodies and function in this world. With something like this playing such a huge role in our lives it is bound to come up in our relationships. Jessie Sell, a marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Durham, NC believes in using an interpersonal approach with her clients, meaning the better relationship between her and the client, the better the success. Over the last 12 years Jessie has worked in a variety of settings including higher education and non-profit agencies. Now she works with couples hoping to overcome issues in their relationships. To find out more about Jessie Sell you can visit her website or call 919-225-3478 for an appointment.

Ever feel like your spouse isn’t listening? Some people think that dating and getting to know someone can be the hardest part of a relationship. It requires a great amount of effort on both parts to keep things progressing. However, the hardest part of a relationship is actually the stage that most largely encapsulates a relationship, the “comfortable phase”. We know our partner so well we could tell you their schedule without hesitation. We know all of their stories and have heard all of their jokes. It’s at this point in a relationship that a lot of people tend to tune the other spouse out and begin navigating on autopilot. This lack of effort can lead to feelings of disconnection with your spouse. Our guest today believes that mindfulness is what can will help to keep your relationship fresh and to keep you heard. Dr. Jessica Barry of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC joins us today. Jessica earned her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Argosy University in Washington D.C. Jessica predominantly works with children, teens, couples and families that have difficulty coping with a wide range of social, emotional and behavioral issues. Jessica’s doctoral dissertation, which will prove especially useful today, was written about the use of Mindfulness techniques. When Jessica isn’t busy working with couples she enjoys spending time hiking, drawing, and cooking with her fiancé. To find out more about Dr. Jessica Barry you can visit the Wynns Family Psychology website or call 919-467-7777 for an appointment.

Are baby blues hurting your family and spouse? Some of us have spent our entire lives dreaming of what life would be like once we were all grown up. We planned out our weddings, our ideal mates, and our perfect nuclear family with 2.5 children. It is when life does not go exactly according to plan that we begin to panic and loose control of our lives. Childbirth can be one of those hazy moments in life. We plan for months about a new addition to the family, but once we welcome this new little bundle into the world, life doesn’t always become the sunshine-filled dream we expected. Dr. Sara Rosenquist is a specialist in the field of dealing with postpartum depression in women, and couples. Sara’s book, After The Stork: The Couple’s guide to Preventing and Overcoming Postpartum Depression, deals explicitly with these issues. Sara has a very extensive global background, which has allowed her to communicate easily with others. Over her lifetime Sara has lived in Tunisia, Argentina, Uruguay, Thailand, and El Salvador before coming back to the United States to study at Duke University, where she received her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. To find out more about Dr. Sara Rosenquist you can visit her website or call 919-872-4648 for an appointment. Sara’s book, After The Stork: The Couple’s guide to Preventing and Overcoming Postpartum Depression, is available on Amazon.com.

Is constant interference from your in-laws killing your marriage? We’ve all seen a football game where everything went from fantastic to devastating in mere minutes. It looks like a clear win; your team is ahead, defeating all obstacles in their path. Then BOOM, out of nowhere interference by the other team turns the game around entirely. What was once an easy game turns messy and complicated very quickly. A good relationship can overcome a lot of obstacles that the world throws at it, but constant interference from an outside source can create larger rifts that are hard to overcome. Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio is Clinical Director at Lepage Associates in Durham, NC where she provides counseling and evaluation services to individuals of all ages. She is experienced in individual, couples, and group therapy and specializes in couples issues. She holds her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology with a minor in Interpersonal Dynamics, as well as a Master’s degree in Community and Clinical Psychology. To find out more about Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio you can visit the Lepage Associates website or call 919-572-0000 for an appointment.  

Is your friendship with your child hurting your marriage? Only a few shorts years ago, or so it seems, we were all children ourselves; laughing and playing with our friends, disobeying our parents, and tormenting the family pet. Before we knew it we were adults who were getting married and having children of our own. When time seems to fly and get away from us, we often forget that we, ourselves, are not children anymore. This can be especially hard when dealing with our own children and a parent’s natural desire for acceptance and love. Sometimes it may seem that the easiest path is to be a friend, rather than a parent but these actions could be harming your marriage. To give us more insight into the situation we have Dr. Laura Green of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC.  Dr. Greene specializes in child and family therapy and child evaluations. Before joining Wynns Family Psychology, Dr. Greene received her Bachelor’s degree from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA and her Master’s and Doctorate degrees in Psychology from Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ. She has worked in a variety of settings, ranging from outpatient mental health centers to school systems. To find out more about Dr. Laura Greene you can visit the Wynns Family Psychology website or call 919-467-7777 for an appointment.

“Relationships aren’t destroyed by cataclysmic arguments. They are eroded by the little things that happen over time. We’re all excited when a relationship starts. We watch what we do. We edit our actions and mind our words. We gloss over the details because we love the dream of what could be. We sacrifice the now for what we want in the future. As our relationship grows, we get comfortable. We stop editing ourselves and return to our old habits... Respect is eroded through the forgetful actions that make you feel as if you don’t matter like you once did…. Yes, relationships usually end in cataclysmic fight, but that is not where they are torn apart”. This insider view of the deterioration of a relationship comes from author Jeff Cannon who believes that meditation is the solution to resolving this age-old dilemma. Jeff Cannon is the author of the book The Simple Truth: Meditation and Minfulness for the Modern World. Jeff was a fast-track entrepreneur with a portfolio of successful businesses, multiple book publishings, produced documentaries and ran his own public relations agency. Then it all came to a crashing halt at the end of 2009. That day he woke up on a hospital bed recovering from a ten-hour surgery that removed six of seven brain tumors. A long time devotee of the marital arts and yoga, Jeff used meditation to reboot and retrain his brain. He learned firsthand how the brain is hard wired just as it had been 40,000 years ago. More important he learned how it could be reprogrammed through such practices as meditation and mindfulness. Jeff's book is now available on Amazon.com. To find out more about Jeff Cannon you can visit his website online.

Are your diverse parenting styles breaking apart your marriage? Being part of a couple and getting married can be a very difficult process. You have two people from different backgrounds and lifestyles, coming together to start their life together. Their differences in opinion and lifestyle can be a relationship hot spot for conflict. Things tend to get even more complicated when children are brought into the picture. Although we love our children, all parents have different ideas for how they want to raise and discipline their children. Whether our preferences came from personal experience or gained knowledge, each parent may have a different idea for what it means to bring up their children. Dr. Kristen Wynns believes that it is not about how your raise your children, but that you do it together as a team. Dr. Wynns is a child and adolescent psychologist who owns a specialty practice in Cary, NC called Wynns Family Psychology. She has a Ph.D. and Master’s in Clinical Psychology from UNC Greensboro. Dr. Wynns recently debuted a new parenting website called No Wimpy Parenting with services available to help parents struggling with behavior and discipline problems at home. To find out more about Dr. Kristen Wynns you can visit the Wynns Family Psychology website or call 919-467-7777 for an appointment.

Are you the outcast in your stepfamily? Dating and marriage is a process that is complicated enough on it’s own, never mind coming into a family that has already been established. Marrying someone with children from a previous relationship can be a delicate mind field that requires a certain finesse to master. Certified Master Stepfamily Coach, Claudette Chenevert, found herself in a similar situation over twenty years ago when she, a single mom to a 6 year old boy, married her husband. She became a stepmom to two girls. After several years worth of failures and successes Claudette was able to determine what steps needed to be taken to successfully integrate oneself into an established family and make it function on its own. From the constant presence of an ex to taking on a parenting role over night, Claudette knows how to handle it all. To find out more about Claudette or her approach, you can visit her Stepmom Coach website.

The current economic deficit has placed a significant strain on our wallets, our jobs, but most importantly, our relationships. Divorce rates are an unsettling 51% today, which means half of all marriages are ending in divorce. What is even more disturbing is that out of the couples getting divorced, approximately 80% of them attribute their failed marriage to disputes over finances. While these statistics may seem daunting, there is hope. There are ways to reduce the burden that financial difficulty has on marriage, and by enacting some of these techniques, your marriage will have a better chance for success. Dr. Tina Lepage, founder of Lepage Associates in Durham, NC, specializes in couples and marriage therapy and helps to rebuild marriages on a daily basis. She has a master’s and doctorate in Clinical Psychology and an additional master’s in Management, degrees which prove exceptionally helpful for this topic. Financial stress effecting a relationship is more common than most would be believe. To help those dealing with this situation Lepage Associates have prepared an article, Managing Your Budget and Your Marriage: The Key to a Healthy Relationship. To find out more about Dr. Tina Lepage you can visit the Lepage Associates website or call 919-572-0000 for an appointment.

Is your inability to read your partner ruining your relationship? We’ve all stumbled into those relationship traps where it can feel like we’re constantly sticking our foot in our mouths. Anything we say or do seems to land us even further into hot water with our spouse. Perhaps you’ve been stuck in similar situations in the past? Relationship coach, Dave Elliott, thinks that the only tools you need to solve this problem, for now and ever, are a hug and a kiss. When it comes to making sense of the often mystifying topic of relationships, Dave Elliott is an international Relationship Coach and human behavior specialist who breaks down complex concepts into easily understandable principles and practices. With his deep understanding of human motivational psychology, Dave helps people pull back the curtain in a non-judgmental way on why they and their partner do what they do over and over again. Dave travels around the nation working with groups and individuals supporting Anthony Robbins, one of the world’s foremost authorities on peak performance psychology. In 2011, Dave was honored as a Man of the Year candidate for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. Dave joins us today to talk to us about how your relationship can be saved and revitalized using his H.U.G. & K.I.S.S. Hierarchy. To find out more Dave Elliot and the H.U.G.S. & K.I.S.S.E.S. program you can visit Relationship Fix Now or Legendary Love For Life.  

Has your fairy tale marriage turned into a nightmare? Ripped from the pages of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice we’ve been made to believe that happily ever after is possible. People spend years looking for their perfect partner and come to find that all the spark and je ne sais quoi that had attracted them to their partners has now fizzled into an unhappy marriage. Family therapist, Lesli Doares, doesn’t believe in having only two choices: either remaining in a miserable marriage or getting a divorce; Lesli believe in happily ever afters. Leslie Doares is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Cary, NC. In her practice, Balance Family Therapy, her focus is on helping couples build strong, secure relationships. It is her belief that marriage is a different kind of relationship and, with the proper tools and techniques, most couples can have a happy and successful relationship. Lesli bring both her personal experience and professional training to her work with couples. Her passionate belief in marriage has led to the development of a five step theoretical approach that Lesli detailed in her book Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work. To find out more Lesli Doares and her practice you can visit the Balanced Family Therapy website or call for an appointment at 919-924-0463. Lesli’s book, Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work, is now available on Amazon.com.