Sunshine Parenting

Enjoy the little things because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things. In Episode 63, I’m chatting with my friend Sara Kuljis of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. We talk about family gratitude practices and lessons from camp for having more grateful families. At Thanksgiving, it’s easy to remember to be grateful, but the habit of gratitude — practiced at camp, at home, and in the world — helps us to be happier all year long. BIG IDEAS * Gratitude is a muscle. We can build it with practice. * Research has shown that those who express gratitude daily have a more optimistic view of life and a healthier well-being. * Developing relationships with the people around us makes it easier to share authentic gratitude. * Model respect by thanking others, especially those who serve us. * Use their first names when possible. * Make eye contact Ways to show gratitude at camp or at home : * Flower Sunday — the practice of handing a daisy while sharing an affirmation or gratitude with another person. You give your flower away and receive a flower from someone who acknowledges an action or quality they appreciate. Using a token such as a flower makes a difference. * WOW Bulletin Board — staff and campers send and receive notes to build each other up and express thanks. * Thankful Thursday — a note, text message or phone call to someone expressing thanks can become a helpful habit. * 3 Good Things — share three good things that happened at the end of each day. * Commit to sharing them with friend or family member via text. It helps with accountability and makes it easier to remember. * Go around the dinner table and share with your family or friends. * Write them down in a journal before bed, or share three things you are thankful for first thing in the morning. * This habit can not only strengthen your gratitude muscle but also deepen your relationships and improve your outlook on life. * Gratitude Jar — keep slips of paper for family write down things they are grateful for and collect the scraps in a jar. * Share the memories collected over the year at New Year’s Eve or at Thanksgiving or anytime. * Attach the messages to a bulletin board or even to the Christmas Tree! * Warm Fuzzies — Take a sheet of paper for each person, write their name on it and pass it around. Have everyone write down what they appreciate about that person. * Be specific. It is nice to recognize precise actions or character strengths we appreciate in others. * Go around the table at mealtime and share 3 good things, something you are grateful for (besides friends and family) or something you are grateful for about yourself * Ask children to think of ways they would like to show gratitude for others. Children have really good ideas themselves. QUOTES Audrey: “We cannot raise grateful kids if we are not promoting our own gratitude.” Audrey: “It’s important to remember that it’s not just about completing a task, like sending a text or writing in your journal. It’s about taking the moment to feel thankful. We need to take the task out of it and feel the gratitude.” Sara: “At the end of the day being grateful makes me kinder and softer to those around me.” Sara: “There’s a lot of not-feeling-good-enough in the world.

When the (campers) get home, parents and teachers, without knowing who’s been to camp, can always tell. Their whole attitude changes. They have more confidence. Phil Lilienthal In Episode 62, I’m chatting with Phil Lilienthal of Global Camps Africa. We talk about his early Peace Corps experience in Ethiopia, forming Camp Langano, spending the next 30 years running Camp Winnebago in Maine, and what led him out of retirement to establish a week-long camp for teens in South Africa. Global Camps Africa provides week-long camps, day camps and continuing education programs, which combine life skills training with recreational activities, changing the lives of South Africa’s most vulnerable youth. BIG IDEAS * Phil Lilienthal’s early life experience in Africa ignited his passion to take the camp experience to the world outside of the US. * His vision is to use camp as a vehicle for meeting the needs of developing youth in impoverished communities. He hoped, like “Johnny Appleseed”, the idea would spread throughout Africa. * He realized the importance of integrating the life skills component into the camp experience and developed a curriculum for summer camp, as well as for local clubs that could reinforce the lessons learned at camp. * The curriculum features topics such as sex education, disease prevention, abusive behaviors, gender bias, xenophobia, drugs and alcohol, crime, reproductive health, parenting, financial literacy, and leadership. * Campers learn and develop skills needed to be successful in all areas of life. Many receive training to eventually become camp counselors, as well. * Trained South African counselors are available to work in the USA during the summer months. Consider contributing or raising funds to support South African campers. The cost per child for the 8-day camp program and year-long youth club membership is $500, which not only supports the educational experience but also helps to launch a child into productive citizenship. How You Can Help   QUOTES Phil: “What are the biggest issues (these kids) face in life, in reaching a healthy productive adulthood?  Let’s figure that out and then train our counselors on how to remedy that and give them the information they need. We did! We were able to cover discussion topics that were taboo to talk about in the home.” Phil: “For (the kids) to see foreigners down on their hands and knees, playing with them or talking to them … just saying, ‘what do you think?’ is something they never hear.” Phil: “It’s really beautiful to watch. The counselors all have a way of discussing a subject that is non-judgmental…We have people line up on either side, they discuss back and forth, and people are challenged, not only to confront their prejudices and assumptions about something but to think about it – that there are two sides to the issues and weigh the consequences.” Audrey: “What a powerful thing just to get these kids thinking about making their own decisions. So whatever life skill you’re talking about, just having them have the time to reflect is very powerful because a lot of kids don’t ever take any time to make a decision before they’re in a situation, and that’s the problem.  But if they’ve had time to think things through and have all this discussion, that’s got to be helpful to them and empowering, knowing that they do have more choices and decision-making power than going along with what other people are doing. ” Audrey: “It really resonates with me because it is about wellbeing. It’s about teaching these kids how to become thriving adults. You are giving them the tools and teaching them skills that ...

You don’t have to adopt or foster a kid to help kids in the system. There is so much need. You can volunteer. Especially for older kids, you can provide scholarships or skills training… Don’t forget these children in your communities. Just think about some way you or your family can contribute. It can even be as simple as taking a meal to a foster family. Audrey Monke In Episode 61, for November’s National Adoption Month, I’m chatting with Anne Driscoll, owner of Branches Books & Gifts in Oakhurst, California. We talk about our families’ experiences with adoption and share advice for prospective adoptive parents. Big Ideas * We compare and contrast international adoption and domestic foster care adoption. Which route to take depends on many factors, including the family’s preferences, composition, and timing. * Many view the adoption process as a path to parenthood. For others, it is a way to offer assistance to children in need. For all adoptive parents, it’s an emotional road and involves a lot of preparation, vetting, and waiting. * Advice for prospective adoptive parents: * Be honest about what you can handle. * Identify what strengths you have to pair with child’s needs. * Be gentle with yourself. * Expect many highs and lows. * Volunteer Opportunities: * Independent Living Programs (ILP) for foster kids as they age out of the system * Teaching skills (cooking, financial management, hobbies, auto care, etc.) * Become a CASA – Court Appointed Special Advocates  There are many ways to help! Quotes Anne: “It’s a huge decision, not to be taken lightly because no matter what the scenario, there is still a sense of loss because they are not with their biological parents. There is a visceral emotion tied to it which you have to be aware of.” Anne: “When you see (your child) succeeding and feeling good about themselves and hopefully starting to heal, it is the most rewarding thing ever. Audrey: “It has been one of my life’s greatest joys and also one of my biggest challenges.” Audrey and Anne: “We both love our kids dearly and they are such incredible human beings – so resilient, amazing and strong. They are going to do great things. It has been a privilege to have them in our families.” Audrey: “The more years in, the better things get!” Links National Adoption Month. 2018 theme is: “In Their Own Words: Lifting Up Youth Voices.” Today’s Hoda Kotb Opens Up about her adoption 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis (recommended for all parents) The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain by Tina Payne Bryson and Dan Siegel

Creativity is not (just) writing songs or painting a picture. It is figuring out what to do when you have a situation, which is not learned in structured play where adults tell kids what to do. They need informal, intentional free play. Andy Pritikin   In Episode 60, I’m chatting with Andy Pritikin, camp owner-operator and past president of the American Camp Association of New York & New Jersey. We talk about the many benefits of camp programs for the growth and development of our youth. BIG IDEAS * Allow kids to have unstructured, free play time and to just be outside. * Summer camp is the ultimate learning environment for 21st Century Learning Skills, which involve collaboration and teamwork, creativity and imagination, critical thinking, and problem-solving. These skills are taught and reinforced at summer camp. * Smartphones, air conditioning, cable TV and other technological advances have significantly altered the way kids play (inside) and how parents raise their children (constantly monitoring). Camp is a “digital detox” for kids and “forced detachment” for parents who are so involved in their kids’ lives. * ACA studies show that kids who have gone to camp have better problem-solving skills and self-reliance. * Instead of jumping in to solve kids’ problems, encourage them to figure out a solution or to find help on their own.   Quotes “My view of camp is that it’s an environment for kids to be gaining these skills: how to work together as a team; how to communicate; how to be independent away from home; how to make and keep friends. In this modern world, friendships turn into playdates, as opposed to that natural thing where kids would just go outside and play with whoever is there.” — Andy Pritikin “Find a few like-minded families in your neighborhood or at school and come up with guidelines (for free play). People love camp so much because they want so much for their kids to have the experience of being with friends, being outdoors, and just playing. I feel like parents could figure out ways to recreate that at home, even if it’s just in their backyards.” — Audrey Monke “We undersell what kids are capable of. We need to let kids do more on their own, trust them and give them opportunities to be responsible. Prepare them for life, adulthood, college, and career.” — Audrey Monke   Links Andy Pritikin Liberty Lake Day Camp Everwood Day Camp American Camp Association research findings Lenore Skenkazy: https://letgrow.org/ and http://www.freerangekids.com/ How to raise an adult by Julie Lythcott Haims   Related Posts & Podcast Episodes If you liked this episode, you might want to listen to Episode 54,

“We need to prepare our kids for a future world that is changing. The economy is changing so fast and the corporate ladder is dissolving.  We need to get out of our kids’ way and allow them to try new things, figure out what they like and don’t like. Let them fail and learn in the process. It’s not a trajectory, it’s an exploration.” Pam Roy   In Episode 59, I’m chatting with Pam Roy, an education and career planning advisor and founder of Square One Pathways. Her article, “Social Skills are Critical for Future Job-Seekers” was recently featured in Aspen Institute’s National Commission on Social, Emotional, and Academic Development blog in Education Week. Her articles, reading list, and blog posts can be found on her website at www.pamroyblog.com. We talk about what led Pam to create her blog and she discusses her passion for helping families navigate the tumultuous school years and helping students to discover their individualized path in a rapidly changing economy. BIG IDEAS Unstructured time, including time for self- exploration and socialization, is critical for our children’s development. When their time is too structured, children don’t get enough socialization, which is the key to happiness. Research shows that relationships are vital to fulfillment in life. It is alarming the numbers of students dealing with anxiety, depression, suicide, and substance abuse. The lack of control they feel over their own lives and the inability to connect with others contributes to this growing crisis. We have turned too much responsibility for our children’s development over to schools and other institutions. It is a burden on teachers and administrators. As parents and communities, we need to take responsibility for creating more time for our children to nurture their health and well-being. The identification and development of interests is a critical component of career fulfillment. This, coupled with strength and skills, must be explored prior to investing time and resources into a college degree. It is best to find the shortest-term, most affordable way to determine if the interest is worth pursuing further. Our schools only focus on two of the eight intelligences identified by Dr. Howard Gardner (linguistics and math). This narrow focus ignores the fact that individual children learn and grow in different ways. We need to honor these differences. Ways to create more time for socialization: Evaluate your child’s educational environment and its fit with your family’s goals and values. Consider an emerging alternative, such as a charter school, independent study, or a hybrid program, which doesn’t demand hours of homework. Free up time after school by minimizing extracurricular activities, such as the club sport or musical instrument your child is not passionate about, or any activities you are doing to build your child’s college application resume. Carve out time for them to find themselves and explore their interests. That may mean limiting AP classes or simply balancing their course load so that they have time to get a part-time job, volunteer, or spend time with family and friends. Quotes “Each child is unique and they all have different experiences. We need to sit and learn from them about who they are and how we can support them. Create time for our family to be together so that they can find themselves.” — Pam Roy “We are on a wild rapid ride thinking that at some point down the river there will be smooth sailing, but we need to live in the now and be present for our children.” — Pam Roy “We aren’t teaching our kids how to understand their emotions very well when they see us trying to be too perfect. We try to shelter them or not make them feel uncomfortable when really they ...

At Authentic Teacher we are dedicated to helping students learn using culturally relevant lessons, best teaching practices and state of the art technology to help parents and teachers provide the best education possible in the 21st century! Jackie Beyer Episode 58 features Authentic Teacher website and podcast founder Jackie Marie Beyer. Jackie is an experienced educator who is enthusiastic and passionate about helping teachers engage students and make learning more connected and applicable to “real life.” I was a guest on Jackie’s podcast this week, too. We talked about Focusing on Student Strengths, based on my post 4 Ways to Focus on Our Kids’ Strengthsbased on my post . You can listen to my interview on the Authentic Teacher podcast here. Topics What is Authentic Teacher all about? “What I want to do is help teachers create lessons that align with the common core but use authentic examples.” What are the first steps parents can take if they have a child struggling academically? “You are your child’s biggest advocate. Get in there and talk to their teacher. Make sure you’re working together.” * If struggling with reading, Jackie recommends the book Overcoming Dyslexia (Sally Shaywitz). * Using rhyming, music to help with reading What are other tips you have for helping get kids engaged with their learning? “I think podcasting is a great way for kids to learn about topics they want, connect with other like-minded kids.” Jackie * There are so many great children’s books for older kids (3rd-4th graders). * Use audio books (Library has Overdrive) What being an authentic teacher means to you? “When you try to force people to learn something they’re not interested in, they’re really just not motivated.” Audrey What does being an “authentic teacher” mean to you? “We can take these lessons/skills kids need to learn and teach them how to be critical thinkers.” “We don’t need to be memorizing basic facts.” Jackie “Finding things they are interested in and helping them reach their goals, be who they want to be.” Jackie What’s one thing you think can help parents raise kids who become thriving adults? Read every night! If you don’t feel comfortable reading, download an audiobook. “Sharing a book together, there’s nothing more important!” Links Where to find Jackie: Authentic Teacher Website Authentic Teacher Podcast Organic Gardener Podcast Authentic Teacher Facebook Page Storyline Online (actors reading stories) Books we discussed: Overcoming Dyslexia, Sally Shaywitz The Freedom Writers’ Diary,

“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.” Simon Sinek Our adult friendships are really important. In two recent parenting talks I’ve given, I’ve talked about the importance of modeling for our kids what a thriving adult human does. Prioritizing our friendships is one important trait of a thriving human being. It’s no wonder that many of our kids are in no hurry to grow up if they see adults as frazzled and unhappy! We need to show our kids that being an adult can actually be fun. One super important ingredient to a thriving adulthood is having close friends with whom we connect regularly. That’s what this episode is about. Sara and I talk about the importance of adult friendship and how we’re prioritizing time to connect with our friends. No one person – a spouse or children – can fulfill all of our relational needs. We also need at least one really good friend as well as social connections in our community. Friends are the best solution to the loneliness epidemics that plagues many of us. Topics we discuss • Making friends as adults. • Shasta Nelson’s Girlfriend Circles and Frientimacy. • Friendships are the most important thing kids get from camp. • How do you find, keep, and nurture adult friendships? • Importance of modeling solid friendships. • Keeping friendships strong over time. • Texting 3 Good Things. • Importance of regular weekly connections with friends. • Putting a regular connection time on your calendar (same place & time). • Vulnerability • Mutuality • Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: “One of our jobs as adults is to teach our children that it’s fun to be an adult.” • Friendship isn’t a tennis match. Some people are better about reaching out and connecting. Don’t expect it to always equal. Quotes “What we really need is that deeper connection, and it doesn’t need to be with that many people.” Audrey “It makes you fell less alone when you have that person or two who you know will be there for you.” Audrey “Friend keeping skills are different ones. They are much more about being open and vulnerable, being forgiving, and listening more than we talk.” Sara “If we demonstrate to our kids that our friendships are rich, we make time for fun, we forgive each other, then we demonstrate that being an adult is a pretty groovy thing.” Sara Watch Sara and Audrey live (instead of just listening): Related: TED Talk: The Secret to Living Longer May be Your Social Life (Susan Pinker) Ep.

In Episode 56, I’m chatting with Laura Vanderkam about her book Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done. Laura is the best-selling author of several time management and productivity books including 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time, and What the Most Successful People do Before Breakfast. Laura also co-hosts the Best of Both Worlds podcast with Sarah Hart-Unger. They discuss work/life balance, career development, parenting, time management, productivity, and making time for fun.Laura lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and four children, and blogs at LauraVanderkam.com. When I read Off the Clock in August, I shared my thoughts about it here. I am thrilled that I also had the opportunity to interview Laura for my podcast and ask her questions including her advice for how to overcome the hurdles I faced trying to track my time. Big Ideas Time and how we perceive it We all have the same amount of time but spend it differently. How we think about time changes how we perceive it. When we walk around saying “I’m so busy”, are we? Which moments become your story? Data study on time perception 900 people tracked their time and reported how they felt about it. What things are a good use of time? Evaluating your time How to effectively track your time? Doesn’t have to be exact! Getting a general sense of where time goes. Data helps us see where our time goes. Looking at time in weeks versus days. Effortful versus effortless fun Effortless fun is easy and ends up being the bulk of our leisure time. Effortful fun is more memorable. Putting in work to have fun. Quotes ” You find people who are doing amazing things professionally as well as personally but they all have the same amount of time we do”. -Audrey Monke “Time is all about how we perceive it. We all have the same amount of time. It all moves at the same rate. But that’s not really the way we think about”.  -Laura Vanderkam “When we walk around with the story “I’m so busy” we will constantly look for moments that show that”. – Laura Vanderkam “You want more time doing stuff you enjoy. Nobody wants more time in a traffic jam or boring meeting”. – Laura Vanderkam “Your fun can take some work but you will be so happy you did it” – Laura Vanderkam Find Laura Laura’s TED Talk, How to Gain Control of Your Free Time: Laura Vanderkam’s Website Best of Both World Podcast Laura’s Other Books:   168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think LEARN MORE     I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make The Most of Their Time

In Episode 55, I’m chatting with Anne Driscoll, owner of Branches Books & Gifts in Oakhurst, California. We talk all things books, including: Reading Levels Getting the parent and the child on the same when choosing books. Getting the right books in the hands of each child. The pros and cons of the reading level system. Asking for teacher input when choosing a book. “Let the child read what they want to read” – Anne Driscoll Why some children at high levels are embarrassed. AR (Accelerated Reader) Choosing a book  “I gently try to encourage them to let the child read what they want to read.” Anne Driscoll Why audio books can be great when a child is struggling with content * Audio Books: https://libro.fm/branchesbooks Knowing your child and what books are appropriate Graphic novels for reluctant readers Encouraging reluctant readers to choose books with a TV show or movie that might be familiar “Sometimes parents want to shield their kids from sad stories or tragic endings, but those are the ones that really stick with you.” Audrey Monke Fostering a love of reading “One of my favorite things as a parent was when my kids got to an age where I could read my favorite book to them aloud.” Audrey Monke The importance of reading aloud Listening or reading a book before your child to be aware of inappropriate content Why getting into a “don’t read that” mentality isn’t good Independent bookstores Helping children and parents find books that foster a love of reading Taking the time to get to know the child and their interests and then finding a book Informing parents about unexpected content that may be in a book a child is requesting Related Raising a Reader Books We Talked About The Read Aloud Handbook, Jim Trelease Harry Potter series A Wrinkle in Time Harriet the Spy Roald Dahl Judy Blume

In Episode 54, I’m chatting once again with my long-time friend and camp colleague, Dr. Jim Sears. I’ve known him as Camp Doctor  “Bones” for the past 14 years, but he is better known by his patients at his family’s pediatric practice as “Dr. Jim.” You might have caught our previous episode (Episode 51), where we talked about building kids’ self esteem. In this episode, we talk about some of the benefits of camp and what we think parents can learn from summer camp to bring home some of the benefits of the experience. We touch on topics related to our kids’ well-being, including positive behavior management, health tips, encouraging kids to be themselves, gain autonomy, and unplug! Positive Behavior Management Catch them doing the right thing Attention seeking behavior “Give the good attention to specific positive behaviors.” Dr. Jim Sears Health Tips “Wow! What’s different about my daily living up here at camp?” Quite active – more walking Incidental exercise- walking and chatting with friends from one activity to the next Meal structure – specific times for meals – not much snacking. Stay busy not bored “It’s okay to be hungry.” Dr. Jim Sears “How do I get my kids to eat the chicken and broccoli for dinner?” Healthy snacks available and the only option Discovering new foods through experiences away from home (like camp) Our kids need to be around other people besides us who are making healthy choices “Sometimes another mentor or adult can make really big strides with your kids.” Audrey Being Themselves Clothing choices It’s cool to be independent and do your hair a little bit differently Cool to be wacky-be your own self Get dirty Developing Autonomy “One of the best things about camp, for kids, is that, for the first time for many of them, they get to make their own choices and decisions about a lot of things, and they’re not getting as micromanaged about all the details of their existence.” Audrey Opportunties for independence when children are young- give small practice opportunities Being discerning about the world without being fearful Learning how to deal with little discomforts Unplugging/ Break from Technology No phones at lunch in school Meals at home unplugged Screen addiction “When you’re on your phone, generally it’s information going in, in, in…it doesn’t allow stuff to come out.” Dr. Jim “Car rides are one of your best chances with teens for meaningful conversations.” Dr. Jim Navigating uncomfortable social situations without a phone is good About “Dr. Jim” Dr Jim spent several years as a co-host on the Dr. Phil hit spin-off series called, The Doctors, a nationally syndicated hour-long daily talk show that is informative and entertaining! Dr. Jim earned his medical degree at St. Louis University School of Medicine in 1996 and completed his pediatric residency at Northeastern Ohio University College of Medicine, Tod Children’s Hospital in Youngstown, Ohio in 1999. During his residency, he received the honor of “Emergency Medicine Resident of the Year.” Dr Jim has been featured on Parenting.com’s “Ask the Experts,” and has written for “Parenting” and “BabyTalk” magazine. Dr Sears’ medical advice has been featured on “Dr. Phil” and the PBS parenting series, “Help Me Grow.” He is an active contributor to the content of AskDrSears.com,

In Episode 53, I’m chatting with my oldest daughter and favorite high school English teacher, Gretchen Monke. She has done a terrific job of connecting with her students and has some excellent insights on how parents can partner with teachers to help kids succeed at school. We discuss four ways to help your child succeed at school. #1 Promote Ownership Over Their own Education Help child take more ownership over their own education. Encourage them to communicate directly with their teacher. #2 Help Them Get Organized Organizational skills are really important. Make sure they have an organized agenda and binder. Digital organization is important, as well. A lot of children don’t have organizational skills. “But ultimately is the student’s responsibility to take that information and learn it and apply it. And I think sometimes parents place that responsibility on teachers.” “I can teach your child how to write a paragraph, but I can’t write it for them.” #3 Teach Kids to Be Proactive The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens is a book about habits that can help your teen improve different aspects of their life. 1st Habit is being proactive “I really want to work on fostering a better relationship with my parents.” Teens still want a close relationship with parents. Share Advice with Teachers Share your child’s interests/what you enjoy. “If you have a child who is struggling to develop that independence and autonomy and is maybe nervous talking to their teachers, something that has worked well is a parent has emailed me and said, ‘Hey, would you mind prompting this discussion with my student?'” “We need to communicate with each other. Let’s all share information.” Audrey #4 Give Teachers Some Grace “Approach teachers with patience.” Gretchen “I value every student as an individual, but it’s hard to help everyone at once.” Gretchen “We need to be a little more forgiving/understanding at seeing other people’s perspective.” Audrey “We’re all on the same team so that partnership is really, really important.” Audrey Resources/Links Ep. 43: The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey AVID – college readiness The Gift of Failure, Jessica Lahey How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens The Wisdom of High School Girls In Episode 53, I’m chatting with my oldest daughter and favorite high school English teacher, Gretchen Monke. She has done a terrific job of connecting with her students and has some excellent insights on how parents can partner with teachers to help kids succeed at school. We discuss four ways to help your child succeed at school.

In Episode 52, Sara Kuljis and I chat about ways to help our kids process experiences. The ideas work for post-summer camp debriefing but also for our kids’ other adventures and experiences. Sara is a 20-year veteran camp director and parenting trainer who has great insights and ideas about parenting and counseling kids. Sara, with her husband Steve, owns and directs Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp, a Christian adventure camp for children ages 8 to 16 years old founded 45 years ago by Sara’s parents Jim and Marna Slevcove. Together, the Kuljises also direct Emerald Cove Day Camp in San Juan Capistrano, a day camp that serves children from kindergarten through 4th grade. 9 Ways to Help Kids Process Experiences * Plan time to rest/process. * Listen to their stories. * Look through photos together. * Ask thoughtful questions: • What did you enjoy/love? • What was challenging? • When (not if!) you do it again, what will you do differently? * Avoid “interviewing for pain” (Wendy Mogel). * Bring home a ritual or tradition: • Flower Sundays • WOWs • Goodnight Song * Continue with an interest that’s been sparked (archery, guitar, etc.). * Create a remembrance. * Encourage kids to stay in touch with new friends. Books We Talked About Off the Clock, Laura Vanderkam Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Wendy Mogel             Blessing of a B-, Wendy Mogel Like listening to Sara and Audrey chat? Here are our other podcast episodes! Ep. 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids Ep. 7: Family Pace & Space Ep. 23: Peaceful Mornings Ep. 28:  Focusing on Our Kids’ Strengths Ep. 37: How to Get Ready for Overnight Summer Camp Ep. 39: How to Handle Your Camper’s Homesickness In Episode 52,

“Chores give children a sense of purpose and accomplishment.” -Dr. Jim Sears In Episode 51, I’m chatting with my long-time friend and camp colleague, Dr. Jim Sears. I’ve known him as Camp Doctor  “Bones” for the past 14 years, but he is better known by his patients at his family’s pediatric practice as “Dr. Jim.” Dr Jim spent several years as a co-host on the Dr. Phil hit spin-off series called, The Doctors, a nationally syndicated hour-long daily talk show that is informative and entertaining! Dr. Jim earned his medical degree at St. Louis University School of Medicine in 1996 and completed his pediatric residency at Northeastern Ohio University College of Medicine, Tod Children’s Hospital in Youngstown, Ohio in 1999. During his residency, he received the honor of “Emergency Medicine Resident of the Year.” Dr Jim has been featured on Parenting.com’s “Ask the Experts,” and has written for “Parenting” and “BabyTalk” magazine. Dr Sears’ medical advice has been featured on “Dr. Phil” and the PBS parenting series, “Help Me Grow.” He is an active contributor to the content of AskDrSears.com, and is co-author of The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood (Little, Brown 2006), Father’s First Steps – Twenty-Five Things Every New Father Should Know, (Harvard Common Press 2006). The Premature Baby Book (Little, Brown 2004), The Baby Sleep Book (Little, Brown 2006) and the best selling The Baby Book – Updated and Revised Edition (Little, Brown 2013). Dr. Jim’s personal passions include endurance cycling, triathlons, sailboat racing and musical theater with his daughter, Lea. His favorite role has been Harold Hill in “The Music Man.” Other recent favorite productions include “Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat” (French brother), “The Wizard of Oz” (Cowardly Lion), “Annie” (Rooster), “Fiddler on the Roof” (Lazar Wolf) “Oliver! (Mr. Bumble) and Big River (King). In his free time, Dr. Jim enjoys snow skiing, hiking, and mountain biking (especially during a beautiful sunrise!). Topics we Discuss How to Help Kids Develop Their Self Esteem Importance of Keeping Your Emotions in Check You, Me & the Issue: Address the issue/behavior, not the child’s character Fostering Independence Resources/Related Ask Dr. Sears Give Children Freedom to Explore (episode from The Doctors) Benefits of Nature “Chores give children a sense of purpose and accomplishment.”

Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done by Laura Vanderkam My rating: 5 of 5 stars I’ve been obsessively telling everyone about this quick read. If you, like me, feel a bit “at war” with time, feeling there’s “never enough” and you “don’t have time to relax,” then you’ll benefit from Vanderkam’s wisdom, too. The book, true to its title, offers realistic ways to both feel less busy and get more done. More importantly, Vanderkam reminds us to focus on making the most of the moments and time we do have and always remember that “people are a good use of time.” View all my reviews I have a vivid memory from ten years ago of my youngest child, then age four, asking me, “Mommy, are we in a rush?” I stopped in my tracks and realized that, yes, in fact, we were in a rush. We seemed to always be in a rush to get somewhere, get one more thing done, or just get out the door. He knew that, because he was always with me and was learning about how life worked from me. I was not being a good role model in how I viewed and used my time. I didn’t want to always be in a rush, and I certainly didn’t want my sweet boy thinking that life is always just a rush from one thing to the next. In the past decade, I have not fulfilled my goal of stopping to watch the sunset every single night, but I have learned to savor moments a bit more, slow down once in a while, and listen well (sometimes) to my people as they share their stories. I have had far more coffee and walk dates with friends, read more books, and gone to bed earlier. I even slowed down enough to write the book I’ve always dreamed of writing. There is, in fact, enough time to do the things we want to do. We just need to learn to prioritize the things that are most important and make time for those things first rather than hoping we’ll miraculously end up with time for them once our “to do” list is done. Off the Clock offers tips for making the most of the time we have. Watch Vanderkam’s TED Talk, “How to gain control of your free time”: Visit Vanderkam’s Website (I’ve subscribed to her email list and am going to try out her time log!) Listen to Ep. 56: Off the Clock with Laura Vanderkam. Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done by Laura Vanderkam My rating: 5 of 5 stars I’ve been obsessively telling everyone about this quick read. If you, like me, feel a bit “at war” with time, feeling there’s “never enough” and you “don’t have time to relax,” then you’ll benefit from Vanderkam’s wisdom, too. The book, true to its title, offers realistic ways to both feel less busy and get more done. More importantly, Vanderkam reminds us to focus on making the most of the moments and time we do have and always r...

In Episode 50, I chat with K.J. Dell’Antonia, author of How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. From KJ’s website: I believe each of us is responsible for our own happiness. I believe happier parents are better parents, and better people. I believe family should be a source of joy and refuge, not another stressor in a busy life. I believe we can be happy even when things aren’t great. We can raise our families, live our lives, and love (almost) every minute of it — if we let go of the idea of parenting as a direct route to destination: success, and decide to meander along our own merry way. This former New York Times reporter is taking on the rug rat race — join me! I wrote and edited the Motherlode blog for the Times from 2011 until 2016 and was a contributing editor to the Well Family section from 2016-2017. Ten minutes in my kitchen would convince you that, while some parts of my family life are enviably together (the Rice Krispie treats on the counter, the meal in the slow cooker) others are works in progress (the child on the floor, wailing that the homework is “too hard”). “How to Be a Happier Parent” is not a memoir (far from it!). Instead, my research, interviews and reporting are geared towards helping all of us figure out “how it’s done” in the bits of family life we find most challenging. I was fortunate to meet KJ at the Mom 2.0 Conference, read an advanced copy of her book, and interview her for the podcast! To determine what her chapters would be about, K.J. asked parents, “What sucks most?” about parenting. Chores and discipline rose to the top of the list, and those are two of many topics we discuss in this episode. Order How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute! How to be a Happier Parent description An encouraging guide to helping parents find more happiness in their day-to-day family life, from the former lead editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog. In all the writing and reporting KJ Dell’Antonia has done on families over the years, one topic keeps coming up again and again: parents crave a greater sense of happiness in their daily lives. In this optimistic, solution-packed book, KJ asks: How can we change our family life so that it is full of the joy we’d always hoped for? Drawing from the latest research and interviews with families, KJ discovers that it’s possible to do more by doing less, and make our family life a refuge and pleasure, rather than another stress point in a hectic day. She focuses on nine common problem spots that cause parents the most grief, explores why they are hard, and offers small, doable, sometimes surprising steps you can take to make them better. Whether it’s getting everyone out the door on time in the morning or making sure chores and homework get done without another battle, How to Be a Happier Parent shows that having a family isn’t just about ra...