Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making! When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer. Not so when you're dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You've likely noticed that. Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode. Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don't desire move emotional abuse, right? You'll be empowered by taking these four steps! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal. Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interest Why no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic person Ways to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justice Steps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respond If you're exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let's talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals.  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Community Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You had no choice in the role a narcissistic parent created for you and assigned to you. You were stuck with it--while usually being quite unaware of it. It's just the way your family is, like it or not, right? NOW, in this episode, see your assigned role(s) so you can shed them and choose again! In episode #201 on pseudomutuality, I talked about how #Hijackals like to paint a public picture of perfection on their families, which creating a private place of pain at home, within the family. Hijackals don't like the assigned roles I talk about in this episode to show in any way. It becomes a big family secret to them. In fact, they will deny that these roles exist: "I love all of my wonderful children equally." Now, we know that's not true. In fact, sometimes, it's a question of if they love any of them...or, anyone except themselves. (That's a topic for another time, though.)In the episode, I mentioned these two definitions from Webster's dictionary. I'm including them here because some people think that scapegoats and black sheep are the same. There is an important distinction: BLACK SHEEP: "a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of their group."SCAPEGOAT" "a person made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place." Quite a difference when you're bearing the brunt of the role, particularly! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How pseudomutuality creates a false front, masking the assigned roles a narcissistic parent gave you 8 different roles you may have observed or experienced within your family Why narcissistic, Hijackal parents assign these roles How the "ruler of the household" assigns the labels Why everyone in the household goes along with them How your assigned roles may still be affecting your self-esteem and adult relationships If you recognize some issues your family of origin created, I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#rolesinanarcissisticfamily #narcissisticfamilyrules #beingascapegoat #goldenchild #blacksheepofthefamily #familyemotionalabuse #borderlinepersonalitydisorder#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you're well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues! My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples Fight: "A power move is anything we do or say that makes the other person feel disempowered." Of course, it's all in the perception, however, if each of us is careful not to purposefully say or do something that is designed to make another feel disempowered, it's a great start! So, are you responsible for feeling empowered? That's a big question we talk through during the episode. As Mira says in a recent article on her website: ChestnutHillInstitute.com : "If you have an 800-pound gorilla in your room--in this case, a gorilla of power imbalances and power struggles--you have to step up and make dealing with it a priority. Just the way you would if you came home and found an actual 800-pound gorilla in your room. The first step is just understanding the problem and taking it seriously. Then, doing what works to solve it." HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: 6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your Relationship The smartest thing to do when you feel disempowered in a relationship Why creating distance can be destructive in relationships sometimes Identifying power moves in you relationship A 3-Step process for resolving relationship conflict Not all issues in a relationship have an equitable solution. Using Mira Kirschenbaum's 3-Step process is a great start! warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: MIRA KIRSHENBAUMMira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Mira has always made an effort to work with people who are disadvantaged. Mira has lectured and done training at Harvard and made countless appearances on TV, radio, and in print. She’s appeared a number of times on the Today Show, CNN, and numerous daytime talk shows, and has been interviewed frequently in magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, and Town and Country. Mira was one of the pioneers of feminist therapy and family therapy in Boston. She was also a founding member of One Generation After in Boston, an organization for children of Holocaust survivors designed to educate the public about the Holocaust and the dangers of genocide and racism. Throughout her career, Mira’s focus has been on giving people, particularly women, the tools they need to give themselves the lives they want and need. Her work has always been focused on empowerment within a full understanding of the person’s context.FREE GIFT FROM MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:Website: https://www.mirakirshenbaum.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mira-kirshenbaum-b7a57717/Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/youcanjustcallmemiraInstagram https://www.instagram.com/mirakirshenbaum/Twitter: https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaumYouTube:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle----------------------------------------------------------------------#MIRAKIRSHENBAUM #powertruinsrelationship #poweristhenemyoflove #powerintoxicrelationships #poweroveryourpartner #powerproblems #powermoves #powerinrelationships #relationshippoison #poisoningyourrelationship#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails! People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that. If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety mechanism, or a defense mechanism. You didn't choose it. You learned it. Now, it's wise to have a look at the behavior and see if it is still required, and/or serving you well. Another name for black-or white- all-or-nothing thinking is "splitting." Here's a definition from Wikipedia: "a failure in thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities in self and others into a realistic, cohesive whole." That means that you get caught in pairs of opposites, with no consideration of all the possibilities in between. That doesn't leave many options, does it? Life is full of possibilities, changes, and growth points. When you--or someone you care about--gets stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, the richness is gone, and fear has replaced it. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How all-or-nothing thinking affects your inner dialogue, your self-talk The definition of "splitting" Why there is focus on extremes in all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking How all-or-nothing thinking reflects fear of shame, blame, and criticism Six fears that underlie black-or-white thinking Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression related to distorted thinking 5 strategies to help you shift away from all-or-nothing thinking Now you can see why it is SO important to recognize this pattern. If it's within you, you'll want to change it. If it's coming at you, understand it and make decisions about your relationship. I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#allornothingthinking #blackorwhitethinking #crazy-making #livinginfearofshame #fearofshame #splitting #cognitivedistortion #seeingdownsidepotential #focusingonthenegative #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You know how some people and families both "put on a front: and are "a closed shop?" You can sense that something is off but the story they tell sounds good. They may be SO good at the story that you can't help but believe it. Why would you question it? And then, you marry into it and the legs fall off! YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!  Mutuality is one of the three MUST-HAVES I talk about in order to have a healthy adult relationship. In my book, Kaizen for Couples, I described it this way: "Mutuality is for emotional grown-ups. It is based on an interest in each other as whole, complex people living in the present. When dependence or do-dependence are consistently present in a relationship, mutuality cannot be. Mutuality, then, is a defining condition for a healthy mature relationship....When there are imbalances in mutuality between partners in a primary relationship, they can lead to significant psychological pain. This pain is elusive and hard to pin down or describe. It feels like a loss without a number: something's missing but what is it? ...Mutuality demands much more from you both. It requires your active interest in each other as different, complex and fascinating individuals. ...What is important in mutuality is that you magnify your attunement and responsiveness to each other." Now imagine that you honesty believe that mutuality exists in the person you are creating a long-term relationship with, or exists in the family in which you are joining, and then, you find it doesn't. A false story was presented to look good to you, but it has no substance. In fact, the opposite is true. That's what happens when Pseudomutuality is presented. Now you know why it is important to learn more and listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What is Pseudomutuality How pseudomutuality compares with healthy mutuality ( Kaizen for Couples ) The scam and sham of creating an agreed upon "family story" to look good to others The double bind of living within pseudomutuality Why it is crazy-making and will cause you to question your sanity Why the "appearance" of bonding in healthy ways is not necessarily what is true Do you see more clearly now that the partner or family you have been experiencing this through is troubled?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#pseudomutuality #pretendingtobeloving #coveringupabuse #marriedintoanabusivefamily #superficialappearance #surfaceharmony #lieofloyalty #abusivefamily #coveringupabuse #pretendingtobefunctional #emotionalabusers#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Have you experienced a toxic boss? Were you one? Today's guest, Krister Ungerbock, admits to, at one time, being an aggressive boss. Maybe, even, a toxic one. He changed. Learn why and how it became important to him to shift, and how that lead to his writing 22 TALK SHIFTS: TOOLS TO TRANSFORM LEADERSHIP When you have a toxic parent, you may pick up toxic behaviors. That can ruin your personal relationships, for sure. However, that can also have a huge, negative impact on how you lead in business. Krister learned that the hard way. He did see it, and knew he wanted to change it. That's self-awareness! In this interview, Krister shares how autonomy at work is more effective than even a pay raise for many folks to feel valued and an integral part of the company. That's a SHIFT! Would that work for you? Have you considered that shift? Making that shift can certainly change your relationships at home, too. Krister talks openly about how that went for him, too. Personal shifts have a ripple effect on all relationships. This is a candid talk about personal change that lead to positive effects as the CEO of a company. As CEO of your life, these can apply to you, as well. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How Krister Ungerbock stopped himself from being a toxic boss Transcending a toxic relationship with father Examples of "toxic shifts" Tips to help with anger management What makes an apology acceptable Creating mutual trust and autonomy If you are, were, or have been experiencing an aggressive boss or CEO, this episode is for you! Oh, and if you think your personal relationships may need an upgrade, it's for you, too! warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: KRISTER UNGERBOCKKrister Ungerbock is a former CEO of a global tech company and a multilingual leadership communication expert. His work has appeared in NPR, Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, HR.com, Chief Executive, Recruiter.com and Entrepreneur. Prior to exiting corporate life at age 42, Krister was CEO of one of the largest family-owned software companies in the world. While leading the company to over 3,000% revenue growth, his team achieved remarkable employee engagement levels of 99.3%, won five consecutive Top Workplace Awards and became a dominant player in its market niche. FREE GIFT FROM KRISTER UNGERBOCK:Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR KRISTER UNGERBOCK :Website: https://Krister.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristeru/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meetkristerInstagram: Twitter: https://twitter.com/meetkristerYouTube:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle----------------------------------------------------------------------#22talkshifts #kristerungerbock #toxicfather #toxicex #aggressiveboss #aggressiveceo #toxicshifts #sincereapologies #angermanagement #angermanagementatwork #trustandautonomy #autonomyatwork #trustatwork #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you ever wonder if you're the problem in a relationship when you know that the other person is forever pushing your buttons, blaming and shaming you? You may be suffering from "Reactive Abuse," and that's a cycle that you can put a stop to. You are patient. You give the benefit of the doubt. You take the blame. You apologize when you have done nothing wrong. Any of those sound familiar? Do you do them too often? Do you find yourself on the apologizing, even begging, end of abuse? Well, when you engage in Reactive Abuse, it can get totally crazy-making. It's really hard to tell which end is up once that cycle revs up. And, that's definitely NOT a good thing! My definitions of Reactive Abuse: When an emotional abuser abuses you, and you get react to their abuse by getting angry. Then they react to your anger and say that you are being abusive. ORWhen an emotional abuser pushes you to the edge, and tells you you're unstable and abusive when you fall off. Nasty! Sad. Shady. And, just wrong! It's important to see this cycle because it can be endless unless you see it and stop it. That begins by taking charge of your part in it and learning to respond rather than react to their abusive behaviors. Not easy, but do-able! Have you ever been pushed to the point where you simply lose it by an emotional or verbal abuser? That's them exercising manipulation and control, hoping that you'll respond with rage, blame, name-calling, and all the things you'd likely rather not do. This is the cycle of Reactive Abuse. As soon as you lose it, #Hijackals have you where they want you: they have the upper hand. Everything you do or say will be held against you, and a story about it concocted to make the Hijackal out to be the victim. Listen in and understand fully how Reactive Abuse works, and what you can do to stop the cycle. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What is Reactive Abuse How does reactive abuse come into play Why you feel so badly about yourself when reactive abuse plays out What you may mistakenly do that doesn't help at all in the face of reactive abuse When you snap, lose it, and tell it like it is and the tables get turned on you What to do to reframe from Reactive Abuse Are you seeing the cycles of reactive abuse clearly now?  I'm here to help.I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#reactiveabuse #abusivebehaviors #reactingtoabusewithabuse #crazymakingbehavior #myabusersaysImabusive #blameshifting #Icanttakeitanymore #stoptheabuse #mastermanipulators #reactingtoabuse #losingit #emotionalabusers #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Wonder why you don't seem to create the momentum to address your toxic relationship? PastCasting™ is one way. It's my term for a well-established internal program that immediately causes you to stay stuck, even when you know you're settling and unhappy. Or, why you are fearful and exhausted. It's so much easier to think of the past than face the present when you're in a toxic relationship. Distant memories can be made to seem like truth when your mind doesn't want to deal with reality in the present moment. It's false that you're protecting yourself. It's more likely that you are further hurting yourself. And, you may need a boost to make that happen.In this episode, I hope you find that boost, that you come up-to-date with the reality of a toxic relationship. Then, you can get help to go in the direction of Emerging Empowered™, which is the name of my upcoming book. It takes clarity, will, and some strategies, but it's all worth it. Oh, yes, and it will take effort, too, even when you don't feel much like making some! You deserve to be treated with equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. However, if you don't believe that, and don't expect that, you may settle for crumbs even when you're starving. You deserve the full meal deal, not crumbs! Once you understand the ways of PastCasting, you'll recognize when you're inclined to do it, and hopefully, see yourself in the present, in your current situation, with rose-colored glasses resolutely off! This episode will help. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What Pastcasting™ is Why Pastcasting keeps you stuck 8 ways you might be contributing to your "stuckness" What to do when you can finally call it abuse Why you might think Pastcasting is making things all right...when it isn't Ready to face the future and give up Pastcasting?  I'm here to help. I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#pastcasting #stayingstuck #inatoxicrelationship #focusingonhappiertimes #stuckinthepast #getawayfromabuse #seeabuseclearly#bepresent #stayinthenow #makingexcuses #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ever wonder why you give difficult or toxic people too many chances? Ever wonder why you make a plan to leave, execute it, and end up going back? It happens, and it has a reason...or twelve! Childhood trauma often is recognized when it was obvious. Much of childhood trauma can be subtle and somewhat under the radar, too. You can heal that, too, and it can make a huge difference to your satisfaction and joy in relationships.Riana Milne has a great definition of a toxic partner: "anyone who makes you feel emotionally or physically ill by the way they act or treat you." Now, do you know a toxic person? Do you have one that immediately comes to mind? Most people do...even more than one. Why are they attracted to you, and why are you attracted to them? Or, do you "settle" for relationships that really don't feel loving, joyful, trusting, respectful, and safe? The good news is that, once you recognize the many things I've talked about myself or with guests, you can deeply understand where the past pain is and get help to heal it. That's a gift you give yourself. So many of my clients, online community members, and Facebook group members may be overwhelmed when they realize what's currently impacting them, and their relationships. AND, although it can be hard work, they no longer want to be creating or participating in relationships that are wearing or tearing them down. THAT'S GREAT! Today's episode is an eye-opener as my insightful guest shares with you 10 Childhood Traumas you may or may not have given thought to. Healing them and finding new pathways can change the course of your life, AND change your level of happiness. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How trauma in your early life affects your current relationships What traumas can cause jealousy and control The impact of unhealed, unconscious childhood traumas Why being overly compassionate can make you attractive to #Hijackals Riana's Trust formula If you have recognized childhood traumas you've experienced--maybe, just given them the attention they need, reach out for help and shortcut your journey. I'm always here for you.warm regards,RhobertaGUEST: RIANA MILNE, MA Riana Milne is a Certified, Global Life & Love Trauma Recovery Coach, a Cert. Clinical Trauma & Addictions Professional, a Certified Mindfulness Coach, #1 Bestselling author, the Host of her Podcast called Lessons in Life & Love™, an Educational Speaker, and Licensed Mental Health Counselor for over 21 years living in Palm Beach County, Florida.She was also a Life & Dating Coach for the Docu-Series; Radical Dating – Finding Lasting Love Over 40 (and her client is now happily married!). Riana specializes in helping those who have had past Childhood or Love Relationship Trauma to Heal, Transform & Thrive; leading them to Create the Life They Desire and to Have the Love They Deserve! She offers Coaching programs Online for both Singles & Couples globally. Riana’s 5-star rated books; the #1 Bestseller, LOVE Beyond Your Dreams – Break Free of Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve - and - LIVE Beyond Your Dreams – from Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose, and Success addresses Life Difficult Transitions, Personal Transformation, The Mindset for Success, and having Loving Conscious Relationships with yourself and others. Her website & Free Resources are at> RianaMilne.comFREE GIFT FROM RIANA MILNE: ebook: Why 9 Out of 19 People Suffer in Life & Love and How to Have the Love You Deserve GET IT HERE! CONTACT INFO FOR RIANA MILNE :Website: https://RianaMilne.comPodcasts: https://LessonsinLifeandLove.coeLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamilne/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachRianaMilneInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachrianamilne/Twitter:YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/RianaMilne/videos--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Community Circle----------------------------------------------------------------------#childhoodtrauma #rianamilne #coachrianamilne #lovetraumarecovery #relationshipcoach #childhoodinfluences #canIrecover #canihealtrauma #difficultrelationships #lovetroubles #abuseinrelationship #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Growing up in an emotionally abusive home, or an overly compassionate home, or even and emotionally neglectful home can set you up to accept emotional abuse. It's not your fault! Maybe, you had a perfectly lovely home, but you were encouraged to put other people's needs, wants, expectations, and desires ahead of your own. That can happen, and you being so giving gets sadly and badly taken advantage of by a #Hijackal. People pleasers make great targets--and easy pickings--for a Hijackal, an emotional abuser. And, yes, of course, there may well be verbal abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, or spiritual abuse, as well. Nasty! Some people are surprised when I say that they are not here to make other people happy. It sounds like a really good thing to do. And, doing things that please others in an equal, reciprocal, and mutual relationship is a very good idea. (That's the mutuality part!) However, in an inequal, non-reciprocal, and non-mutual relationship, it all goes terribly sideways, and you can be very hurt by it. This episode gives you twenty-five ways that you may have been setup to appeal to an emotionally abusive person, a #Hijackal. I invite you to think about each one because each one you change will improve the quality of your life. It is unlikely to improve the quality of your relationship with a Hijackal, though. They want you to remain as you were, taking what they dish out. But, no! Time for a change. When you see these 25 things, you can change them, and that is a very good thing. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Insights into the effects of your childhood on your current relationships Why being overly compassionate plays into a Hijackal's hands 25 ways that people pleasing ways set you up to accept emotional abuse Why it's important to see these 25 ways so that you can change them now How to undertake Escaping the Hijackal Trap When you're ready to reclaim your personal power and rebuild your life in a healthier way, I'm here to help. I wish you well.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#seetheabuse #peoplepleasers #narcissistsandpeoplepleasers #targetforemotionalabuse #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #amIbeingemotionallyabused #imbalanceinrelationship #outofbalance #emotionalbalance #equalityinrelationship #reciprocityinrelationship #mutualityinrelationship #healthyadultrelationship #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Yes, you are wise to be self-reflective, asking yourself "What is my part in the relationship difficulties?" #Hijackals and other toxic people want you to taking responsibility for the whole relationship. They are happy to tell you that everything is your fault. You know that. In this episode, I'm addressing the three BIG questions I am asked so frequently when someone gets to the point of considering leaving, or has recently left a toxic relationship. These three questions cause them to further second-guess themselves from within. Sure, ask those three questions and answer them honestly...ONCE. Then, take action. #Hijackals and those with narcissistic tendencies and traits know they can baffle you with sweet talk, double talk, or straight out lies. They know. Don't believe them! Yes, it's easier said than done, I know. But, don't believe them. They are behaving from self-interest alone. Then, don't start feeding yourself the doubts the Hijackal planted within you. That's their thing: keep you in chaos and confusion, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. It is not healthy, and don't buy it. So, these three big questions come up. Hopefully, after you listen to this episode, you'll be done with those and ready to move forward with a clearer picture of where you're going, what you want, and what you don't. Listen in. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: Why being self-reflective is a good first strategy Why it's important to get things in perspective for yourself Don't make excuses for a Hijackal and keep yourself stuck The three questions that keep you stuck...or, make you consider going back How, once you've thoroughly explored these three questions, you'll never have to answer them again You want to be a good person, a fair person, in your relationship. Usually, if you're with a Hijackal, you'll be doing most of the giving, and the Hijackal will happily take, take, take. That's best clearly seen and stopped. Then, be ready to remind yourself of the answers so you don't have to think it through again. I wish you well. I'm always here to help.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#secondguessingmyself #feelingstuckinrelationship #amithenarcissist #amimakingamistake #whyistaywithanarcissist #whyistaywithahijackal #selfconfidencetoleave #alwaysbelievebehavior #downplayingtheabuse #seetheabuse #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Men, would you like to know what to say when your female partner is really angry? The answer--and many more--are in this episode with GS Youngblood, author of The Masculine in Relationship. He says, "There are so many couples in pain in the world. The man feeling that his partner criticizes and belittles him, and is not interested in sex. The woman dying for more emotional connection, and to feel much more power, leadership, and clarity from her man." Oh, yes, you can bet I was champing at the bit with questions! Questions about gender equality, "leadership," and misogyny, for starts! And, yes, I challenged so much because I read the book and all kinds of things popped up to discuss: possessiveness, a "caveman mentality, and so much more. Empathy which is often so lacking in toxic relationships became a big topic, going from GS's definition to mine and finding the intersections. Did we end up on the same page? Listen for that, for sure! What about men jumping to solutions without listening to their partners? (Calm down. We're talking about men's things in this episode...lol.) I asked GS why he talks so much as "masculine leadership." Does he balance that with feminine leadership? Are they the same, or vastly different? I think your thoughts will be stimulated by this conversation.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: When masculinity is toxic Mistakes you might be making (or experiencing) How GS Youngblood shifted his thinking and expectations to improve relationships What makes relationships go sideways The place of empathy and what it means and looks like in relationship What emotional oxygen is Agree? Disagree? Learn something? It's all good. Be good to yourself.RhobertaGUEST: GS YOUNGBLOODGS Youngblood is the author of "The Masculine in Relationship". He coaches men in relationships on how to live, love, and lead from their Masculine core. He specializes in “nice guys” who are with strong women. His teachings combine deep embodiment work with the framework of the Masculine blueprint from his book. Learn more at gsyoungblood.com.Reception to the book has been phenomenal. Both from men (“You just described my married life to perfection…” and “This is the best book I’ve EVER read on masculinity in a relationship”) and women (“I just picked up your book off my coffee table that my husband bought and it’s like you’ve been listening to me talk for the last few years! Insane how much you get it.”)His writings are filtered through the laboratory of his and his clients’ real-world, long term relationships (including the successes and spectacular failures) to see what actually works and what doesn’t. Through this lens of Masculine leadership, he also pulls in principles from a variety of fields: psychology, martial arts, tango, meditation, and BDSM.FREE GIFT FROM GS YOUNGBLOOD: Not at this timeCONTACT INFO FOR GS YOUNGBLOOD :Website: www.GSYoungblood.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatettehFacebook: www.facebook.com/gsyoungblood1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gsyoungbloodmirTwitter:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCd5aEX9NV-4DzBNd8y_IvWw--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Support Circles  ----------------------------------------------------------------------#gsyoungblood #masclineinrelationships #dontbea loser #reviveyoursexlife #dormantsexlife #nosexlife #revivingconnection #itsmorethansex #niceguys #masculinecore #masculineblueprint#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

All those promises! All those dreams! Was it future faking? That's a very common way that #Hijackals keep you engaged in the relationship. Learn how it works...and, what really doesn't work about it. You need to see this clearly, or you'll be hooked on hope! All you ever wanted and more...one day. That's the promise of future faking: when a Hijackal promises or alludes to giving you something you want in the future to get what they want in the present. And, so much more. A Hijackal makes big moves early on in the relationship, feigning great interest in knowing you. Sorry. It's not because they're so interested in who you are: it's they're so interested in what they can get from you. Sad. And, this is why they #futurefake! To engage you in the dream! Lean in and listen to all the ways narcissists use this ploy to get what they want. You'll want to recognize each one for what it is. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How #futurefaking hooks you into staying in an abusive relationship Why it can become a pattern that you really don't see How F.O.M.O. plays into the #futurefaking dynamics Parents and future faking you grew up with Red flags of future faking during dating. BIG! How narcissists and other Hijackals paint beautiful pictures of the future Why you need to believe the patterns and change your direction So disappointing! Being with a #Hijackal is a roller coaster that has great, occasional highs but goes mostly downhill. Future faking is a part of this that can keep you staying when you need to be going. Create a better future yourself. .I'm always here to help.Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#unhealthyrelationships #futurefaking #narcissistmanipulation #hookedonhope #narcissistlies #waysnarcissistssuckyouin #liesnarcissiststell #cantbelieveanarcissist #dontbelieveanarcissist #narcissisticfuturefaking #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why is this episode important on a show about toxic relationships? Because your doctor--and other healers--need to be empathetic, aware, interested, listening, and compassionate. Some are wonderful. Others, not so much. You need to find one that cares about all of you, not just the numbers, graphs, and medications. In your toxic relationship, have you ever been seriously ill or injured? What kind of care did you get at home? That's a big moment, isn't it, when you realize that the toxic person can't be bothered with you, or take you seriously? How does your doctor behave? Dr. Hassan Tetteh had early personal experiences with trauma, and the impact on him directed his life's work. A Near Death Experience changed so much for him. Dedicated to The Art of Human Care™ (also the name of his book), Dr. Tetteh helps you see what to look for in a doctor, too. In a toxic relationships--past or present, there is often trauma from emotional abuse. You NEED your doctor to see, know, and believe what is happening to you. Emotional abuse takes a toll on your body as I discussed with Dr. Elizabeth Hughes in episode 189. Dr. Tetteh explains why you need to truly feel cared for when you need medical attention. Although he offers his acronym, L.E.A.R.N, for healers, it's a very good approach for all of us in our relationships. Enjoy this...even if it sounds a little off our usual topics. It's valuable! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How an earlier life experiences change Dr. Tetteh's understanding of care Why it often seems that doctors are more interested in time than patients Hear his Human Care Theory What's up with toxic people's response when you're ill Why you need to find an empathetic, compassionate doctor OK, so I hope you now recognize why I invited Dr. Tetteh to Save Your Sanity. Don't be re-wounded by a doctor who doesn't really see or hear you. Your doctor needs to be a safe place to go, whether that is your medical doctor, alternative healthy professional, or therapist. Be good to yourself.RhobertaGUEST: HASSAN TETTEH, MDDr. Hassan A. Tetteh is a US Navy Captain and Associate Professor of Surgery at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences and adjunct faculty at Howard University College of Medicine. He was a Robert Wood Johnson Health Policy Fellow from 2012-13, assigned to the US Congress, Congressional Budget Office, (CBO). Currently, Tetteh is a Thoracic Surgeon for MedStar Health and Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. He leads a Specialized Thoracic Adapted Recovery (STAR) Team, in Washington, DC, and his research in thoracic transplantation aims to expand heart and lung recovery and save lives. A native of Brooklyn, New York, Tetteh received his BS from State University of New York (SUNY) at Plattsburgh, his MD from SUNY Downstate Medical Center, his MPA from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, MBA from Johns Hopkins University Carey Business School, and MS in National Security Strategy with a concentration in Artificial Intelligence from the National War College. He completed his thoracic surgery fellowship at the University of Minnesota and advanced cardiac surgery fellowship at Harvard Medical School’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. Tetteh is founder and principal of Tetteh Consulting Group, creator of The Art of Human CareTM book series, and a best-selling author of several books including Gifts of the Heart, Star Patrol, and The Art of Human Care. Tetteh is board certified in thoracic surgery, general surgery, clinical informatics, and healthcare management, and is a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons and Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives.Tetteh received the Alley Sheridan Award by the Thoracic Surgery Foundation for Research and Education, was named a TEDMED Front Line Scholar, and is TEDx speaker. He’s an alumnus of the Harvard Medical School Writers’ Workshop and Yale Writers' Conference and lives near Washington, D.C. with his wife, son, and daughter.FREE GIFT FROM DR. TETTEH, Free Chapter from Success Strategies: LIFESAVING SUCCESS STRATEGY: THE ART OF HUMAN CAREhttp://hassantetteh.successstrategiesthebook.com/#bookCONTACT INFO FOR DR. HASSAN TETTEH :Website: DoctorTetteh.comPodcasts:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatettehFacebook: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofhumancareTwitter: https://twitter.com/doctortetteh?lang=enYouTube: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler-------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Relationship Help Support Circles  ----------------------------------------------------------------------#drhassantetteh #doctorsandempathy #increasingempathy #theartofhumancare #compassionatedoctor #empatheticdoctor #chooseanempatheticdoctor #doctorinterestedinpatient #compassion #empathy #personaldevelopment #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempoweredSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You may not even know you picked up all this from narcissistic family dynamics in your life. When you hear these things, you may find the key to unlocking relationship difficulties you've had in your adult life. Definitely worth listening to! We take SO much in as young children, even before we have any language skills at all! We come to know if we're wanted, loved, appreciated, welcomed, and heard before we ever understand a word anyone says to us. That impacts our whole life...unless we recognize what slipped under our radar in our first seven years of life! If there was a parent or other authority figure in your family who had narcissistic tendencies, you'll be recognizing these thing I talk about. It's all you knew then, but now you know more. You can do things differently! Don't be hard on yourself! You couldn't possibly know what your early environment was putting in your mind, and how it was establishing your sense of who you were within you. That's why it's important to think about these things today. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: How what happens to you in your first seven years of life can impact your adult life 7 patterns of behavior a narcissistic family--with even just one narcissistic person--will demonstrate Why it's important to look into your early home life for things that could be negatively impacting your life now Why I think that telling your child to stop crying or "I'll give you something to cry about" is narcissistic How having a narcissistic parent affects your ability to ask for what you need and want in life How recognizing these early patterns can help you make better decisions today that make you happier Information and insights into what happened in your emotional self early in life can shift your perception of yourself. You recognize what was done TO you, and can see more clearly to make healthier choices now in your adult life and relationships. I'm always here to help. Big hugs!RhobertaWant clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorTWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShalerCLUBHOUSE: @drshalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Support Circle now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months.----------------------------------------------------------------------#unhealthyrelationships #unhealthyemotional #narcissisticfamily #triangulation #indirectcommunication #unclearboundaries #youcanthaveyourfeelings #parentnotinterested #unavailableparents #selfcenteredparents #selfabsorbedparents #dontrepeatthepatterns #seethepatterns #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.