Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson interviews Dr. Paul Gilbert, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Darby and the founder of compassion focused therapy. They explore how we can grow a healthy sense of self-worth, be honest without being critical, and stop undermining our own confidence. The Foundations of Well-Being: https://www.thefoundationsofwellbeing.com

On this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about how we can avoid “second darts” – our negative reactions to the painful experiences of life that are often more harmful than those experiences themselves. 0:40: What are the first and second darts? 2:50: An example of first and second darts. 5:15: Finding where you have influence. 7:15: Avoiding adding second darts. 12:30: Not fueling second darts. 15:00: Changing the channel on second darts. 15:50: Managing second darts in relationships. 18:55: Sticking to first darts when communicating. 21:10: Recap

On this episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin the strength of Confidence with an exploration of “attachment theory.” Particularly, they focus on how adults who may have had challenging childhood relationships can become more securely attached in the here and now. 1:00: The spectrum of confidence. 2:10: How does confidence “get into” the brain? 4:30: Learning confidence. 5:45: Why do we care so much about the opinions of other people? 10:30: The link between social and physical pain. 12:45: Secure and insecure attachment. 20:00: Attaching differently to different kinds of people. 23:50: How to become more securely attached. 30:30: Why does creating a coherent narrative help us become more securely attached? 35:50: Being someone others can securely attach to. 40:40: Recap

Dr. Hanson and Forrest have a conversation about “the happiness that is always available”: happiness for others. Particularly, they explore how feelings of altruistic joy can be a powerful antidote for experiences of disappointment and envy. 0:30: Why is happiness for others such a reliable resource? 1:20: Why is feeling happy for others good for us? 3:15: Finding happiness for difficult people. 5:40: Mending relationships through happiness for others. 7:50: The naturalness of envy and jealousy. 12:15: Letting people land. 17:05: Working through blocks to altruistic joy. 22:15: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest look at the role fully taking in the good things in life has in the process of building mental strengths. 0:20: Why focus on taking pleasure. 1:45: The many little opportunities to take pleasure. 4:05: The psychological benefits of pleasure. 6:50: Why do so many people struggle with taking pleasure? 9:45: Consumption vs. appreciation 13:00: How can we get better at taking pleasure? 16:00: Finding pleasure through relating. 19:30: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest move on to the fifth of the twelve strengths they’ll be covering during this series: Gratitude. During this episode they explore the role of positive emotions generally, and particularly the value of “thankfulness.” 1:00: Why use “gratitude” as a blanket term for positive emotions? 1:45: What benefits do positive emotions have for mental health? 5:55: Why did you choose to focus your work on increasing positive experiences rather than reducing negative ones? 8:15: What are the psychological benefits of “thankfulness?” 12:20: Critiques of telling people to ‘just be grateful for what they have.’ 17:00: Dealing with blocks to thankfulness. 23:30: How can we become more thankful? 28:25: Using gratitude to move into agency. 31:00: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore our relationship with goals of various kinds. Particularly, they look at how we can feel more successful by noticing the many small goals we accomplish each day, and fully internalizing that experience so it becomes a lasting resource. 0:50: Why is having a healthy relationship with our goals so important for mental health? 4:30: How can we achieve a more healthy relationship with our goals? 6:35: The social pressures that help us feel unsuccessful. 8:30: What are process goals? 9:55: What are outcome goals? 10:20: The many opportunities to meet our goals. 11:40: Hacking the natural pleasure systems in the brain. 14:25: If we have so many opportunities to experience success, why don’t we? 17:50: What about when we aren’t successful? How can we better manage those feelings of failure? 21:30: Risking the “dreaded experience.” 24:30: Isn’t the fear of failure really motivating though? 29:50: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest discuss the strength of Vitality, and how it relates to grit. They explore how we can form more positive relationships with our bodies by accepting, nurturing, and appreciating them. 0:50: How does the physical resource of “vitality” impact the mental strength of “grit”? 2:10: How accepting the body helps us nurture the body. 4:10: Why is it so hard for people to accept their bodies? 8:10: How can we become more accepting of our bodies? 11:45: A practice for accepting the body. 14:00: The importance of appreciating the body. 16:30: A practice for thanking the body. 18:30: How can we form good habits around our physical practices? 22:10: Taking action on any given day, focusing on your effort rather than results. 24:15: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about a particularly challenging aspect of the strength of determination: fierceness. They explore how the ‘feral’ parts of our mind can be a powerful resource, and how we can use that inner strength rather than be used by it. 0:40: What does “fierceness” mean? 3:20: How fierceness fuels determination. 5:20: Is how we think about fierceness defined by our individual experience? 6:20: Different ways to think about the ‘feral’ experience. 8:45: The difficulty in articulating this material. 9:15: Using all the material in the psyche as a potential resource. 12:00: Pitfalls relating to fierceness. 16:20: The burden of proof when being fierce. 18:00: The two pitfalls related to fierceness. 19:30: Increasing our comfort with fierceness. 24:50: Strengthening our own cores. 27:25: Taming the beast by allowing it to run. 28:55: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest continue their focus on the strength of Grit with determination. Particularly, they look at the different aspects of determination, and explore how we can grow each of them over time. 0:35: How “determination” relates to grit. 2:00: Being determined to a fault. 2:50: What determination is made up of. 3:55: Being resolved toward a goal. 8:00: Balancing patience with agency. 9:30: Realistic expectations enabling patience. 11:45: How much patience is too much? 12:30: The marshmallow test. 15:00: Distress tolerance. 16:25: How can you help yourself enjoy persistence? 21:30: What do we mean by “fierceness?” 23:15: Issues with fierceness. 24:15: Recap.

On today’s episode of the Being Well Podcast, Dr. Hanson begins a new focus on the fourth of the twelve strengths he’ll be covering throughout this series: Grit. Particularly, this episode explores how to grow agency – an aspect of grit where we feel like a cause rather than an effect. 0:30: What is grit? 0:50: How does physical grit support psychological grit? 4:45: Can we grow grit? 5:45: Why agency is important for growing grit. 6:45: How agency fights against “learned helplessness.” 9:30: How can we “unlearn” learned helplessness? 16:10: What can we do when we ACTUALLY are helpless? 18:00: Being realistic about the amount of power we have over our lives. 19:30: Finding small ways to express agency. 21:00: Focusing on causes rather than effects. 24:55: Recap.

On today’s episode of the Being Well podcast, Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest discuss "linking" - how we can use new, positive experiences to soften and eventually replace old, negative ones. 1:20: What is linking? 2:20: An example of linking. 3:50: How does linking work in the brain? 5:50: How removing old, painful experiences works in the brain. 8:30: How we can remove old pains. 10:10: Quick recap 11:05: The two opportunities to remove negative material. 13:20: The two problematic ways people deal with upsets. 14:05: The better way to approach upsetting situations. 15:20: Matching the right positive experiences to the negative experience. 16:00: The pitfalls of linking. 17:55: Why negative material isn’t “bad.” 18:30: The third option found in linking. 19:45: The difference between wounds and deficits. 20:30: The three levels of engaging negative material. 23:30: Pulling the tip of the root. 24:00: How to talk to your young experiences. 27:10: The three conditions for linking. 29:25: Recap

On today’s episode of the Being Well podcast, Dr. Hanson and Forrest talk about how we can find and use “key resource experiences” – experiences that we can match to our unique vulnerabilities in order to grow the strengths we need the most. 0:45: What is a key resource experience? 1:45: What would be useful in dealing with your issues? 2:30: How to identify your key resources. 4:00: What were the times when you were at your best? 5:15: Identifying the vulnerabilities we match key resources to. 7:40: How do our vulnerabilities relate to our needs? 10:50: Matching key resources to specific needs. 11:15: Resources for anxiety, anger, and helplessness. 13:45: Feeling alright, right now. 15:35: Resources for satisfaction. 18:45: The importance of resourcefulness. 19:30: Resources for connection. 21:05: Means vs. Ends 27:25: Recap

On today’s episode, Dr. Rick Hanson explores the “installation” stage of learning in detail, including how we can internalize the various positive aspects of any experience to grow the strengths we need the most. 0:50: What attracted you to “learning”? 3:15: The “dirty secret” of the personal growth professions. 4:10: How can we get better at internalizing our good experiences? 5:05: The five ways we can enrich our experience. 8:10: Multimodality: how to learn through the different aspects of experience. 9:00: Why writing affirmations rarely works. 9:55: Bridging the gap between thought and experience. 13:30: Our many opportunities for learning. 14:30: How to make our experiences feel novel. 16:40: How to make our experiences feel relevant. 18:20: How to absorb experiences. 19:50: Letting experiences into our body. 24:10: Changing our relationship to experiences 25:30: The power of “retroactive rehearsal.” 28:00: The foundation of learning.

On today’s episode of the Being Well podcast, Dr. Rick Hanson beings his focus on the strength of Learning with a critical question: HOW can we grow the positive traits we want more of inside ourselves? To do this, he explains the HEAL process that allows us to learn from our experiences more effectively. 0:40: Why is learning an inner strength? 2:40: The superpower of superpowers 5:35: What does emotional learning FEEL like? 7:50: An example of learning that sticks 10:05: What’s happening in the brain when we’re learning? 13:05: Using the mind to change the brain. 14:55: The opportunity in every day. 16:55: The stages of the learning process. 19:05: The importance of installation. 20:10: The H.E.A.L. process of learning 23:05: The feeling of enriching and absorbing 23:45: Linking 25:30: Summary