Robot Pizza Van, Funny News

A giant tortoise escaped from a zoo in Japan. There’s a bunch of funny things in this story. First. it’s a giant tortoise so the escape must have taken some time, it was probably not a fast getaway. Second, the turtle doesn’t get very far. Third, how the turtle was found. This third point is not that funny but I was counting my fingers and I still have two more left. Fourth point, the turtle has a cute name. Fifth point of humor is… that … turtles are funny. Ok, the other story is that Pantone, the system for matching colors used in specifying printing inks, not Pantene the hair care product… Pantone has teamed up with the Prince estate to create a custom shade of purple as a tribute to prince. It’s called “Love Symbol #2”. I will not make a joke about the other numbered love symbols. And finally, is a vertebrit an animal distinguished by the possession of a spinal column, or is it something that you might spread your vegemite upon? Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A man is accused of smuggling cobras in potato chip cans, we review a guy on YouTube who reviews shoes, and we check out some food shaped like other things. Offroad, Rygar and Borg talk about funny, weird and/or unusual news articles from the internet. For instance, this week we read about a man who smuggled three live, venomous king cobra snakes, each two feet long, inside of a potato chip can. We watch a YouTube video from Brad Hall who reviews shoes and has been found on top ten most boring video lists. Then we’re on Ebay looking at food items that are shaped like something else. For instance, a Mickey mouse miracle sandwich that has mold shaped vaguely like mickey mouse is for sale on Ebay for $31,000… or best offer. A peanut with brown spots shaped like mickey mouse and a strawberry that doesn’t really look like mickey mouse at all, this and more on the Robot Pizza Van. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Facebook shuts down their AI chatbots after the chatbots invent their own language. Scary and sensational headline but really they shut it down because it’s impractical... so they say! And luxury 'Skinny House' to be built in a three-meter gap in London. And, don't start a sentence with “And”. First, Facebook is experimenting with artificial intelligent (AI) chatbots to explore how people barter and trade. I bet they’re doing it so that chatbots can interact with customers better. Chatbots are less expensive than people for customer service. Anyway, they were messing around and they got two chatbots bartering with each other. Since there were no human involved, the chatbots started to create their own shorthand, or slang to communicate with each other. Some of the internet speculates that Facebook shutdown the project for fear of the chatbots developing their own secret language and taking over the world, or was that something I was afraid of? Then, skinny houses, a health fad in London, where houses eat less calories, get plenty of exercise and fluids… nope, skinny houses are actually houses that are built between two previously placed building that are in very close proximity. Let me try again. They squeeze the skinny house in between two houses that are already there. You’ll just have to listen to this episode to see for yourself. But really, they are houses built into a narrow space. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A silent 10 minute song is climbing the charts in iTunes and a truck crash covers a highway in pizza. This show looks at the funny, unusual, even weird stories from the internet. But first we talk about noise cancellation, from advanced audio technology to the simple ear plug. There’s a song on iTunes by Samir Mezrahi called "A A A A A Very Good Song." The song is ten minutes of silence. If you’re wondering why anyone would make such a song, or why anyone would pay ninety-nine cents to buy such a song… then you’ve come to the right place. Or maybe you’re listening to hear about the highway covered in pizza. We also talk a lot about noise cancellation. Borg mentions that to cancel out a sound - you flip one of the speaker one hundred and eighty degrees out of phase. What does this mean? It’s like if you took the sound wave and flipped it. A sound wave goes up and down, so wherever it was up - it is now down, and vice versa. When you play a sound wave and the flipped sound wave at the same time they cancel each other out. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Rygar, Offroad and Borg present another set of unusual stories from the internet. Cat cafes, dog cafes and even a rat cafe. But first we chat about the hard-hitting questions that everyone’s been dying to know: What kind of coffee do you like? What kind of hipster? How tall is America? Why does Charlie Chaplin have the same mustache as Hitler? There exist cat cafes where you can drink coffee while you hang around with free-roaming cats. There are also dog cafes which are very similar to the cat cafés except the cats are instead dogs. Finally, there is a rat café and guess what the cats there are? Yep, the cats are rats! Try to drink your coffee while your hanging out with rats. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

It’s time for a new episode. I can tell because of the alarm clock stuck in the wall for the past 13 years. I’m not sure what time it actually is because it’s inside the wall. Coincidentally this happened to someone else. How? Why? Where? All those newspaper type questions will be answered. TV networks misspell their show’s names on purpose. Why would they do such a thing? A marriage ends a winning streak. How could that happen? Boy, I ask a lot of questions for a guy who already read these stories. It’s almost like I’m trying to get you to ask these questions, to peak your interest, to elicit a response,… from you. Yes, I’m talking directly to you. Just like in the Neverending Story. Now sit back, yell out the new name you’ve chosen for the princess and listen to the Robot Pizza Van. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Offroad has some news stories, Rygar’s talking some heavy philosophy and Borg remembers computer specs from yesteryear. Aaaaah... but now the news: Students at Carnegie Mellon University have built a goldfish tank on wheels that is driven by the position of the goldfish. This is the first step towards goldfish robots. In other news, artist Neil Mendoza has created a robotic system, controlled by a goldfish that smashes tiny people furniture. Goldfish again. Coincidence or is this the second step towards robotic goldfish and their eventual quest for global domination? The Pacific trash gyre/vortex is big. How big? Oh, don’t make us do math. No, really… Ok, you asked for it. Math! Then, the third thumb is a wearable, prosthetic, thirds thumb. How would that work? How do you control it? What does it look like? Now, now… slow down, all these questions will be answered in this episode. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

You know last week the episode had Lord Buckethead in the title, but we didn't actually talk about him very much. This week we talk about him a lot, but I already named last week’s show. Today we learn a little bit about everyone: Rygar is so organized that he owns the deluxe version of the P-touch label maker, Borg breaks Youtube, EZ teaches us what dabbing is and it’s cultural significance, and Offroad quietly watches it all. Before we break YouTube we are able to watch Cory Burns record a weird strike out, the Bee gees cover the Beatles, and Adele cover herself. We also learn that in England fish sticks are called fish rods and that quantum computers will render computer encryption obsolete (we really shouldn’t do math on the air). Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Offroad, Borg, Rygar and special guest EZ talk about the most retweeted tweet, a clown who wants to juggle in court in his own defense, and Lord Buckethead who ran for run for Prime minister (The Tippy Top person in England). First, a train of thought through a landscape of movies and actors. Whats the difference between Willem Defoa and Christopher Walken? What is Peters Map? I found out that people who use Twitter are called Tweople. This doesn't have anything to do with what we talk about. We talk about this guy who is challenged by Wendy's to get 1 million retweets. Game on! Aaaaaaand a clown is trying to prove that he was just kidding, he wasn't really robbing a convenience store. Finally, Lord Buckethead is among many of the goofy candidates for Prime Minister, you can tell them apart from the serious candidates who aren't wearing costumes or buckets. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Offroad and Borg are here, and today’s episode is in 3D sound! It feels just like the sound is really there… in your ears. First we read about a new pizza box design by Apple, and then we talk about a woman who married a train station. We also listen to a phone call from our email. Next time we’ll probably call up an email on the phone. Apple has designed a pizza box for their office’s cafeteria. And like everything made by Apple it is “fill in the blank with insult or praise depending on whether you like Apple or not”. In other news, a woman really likes a particular train station, a lot. We also revisit the YouTube page from our Spin Cycle episode 13 to look at the video’s comments. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Offroad, Borg, Rygar, and special guest (second week in a row) EZ meet to discuss some topics from the internets: soundwave tattoos, crumbless bread and a clown that mustn’t juggle in his own defense. This episode is formatted in 3D audio, which sounds best on normal headphones(especially) or normal speakers. If you got a tattoo that played a sound, what would yours be? A bee? You’re just saying that because I just said that. Hey, if a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one there to use an app to play back the sound of the tree falling,… ok, wait there’s a simpler way to explain. There are soundwave-shaped tattoos that can use an app to play the sound back. Crumbless bred and the dangers of space food. It's like if you open up a bag of cheetos the wrong way and it bursts open and all the cheetos fly around the space cabin getting orange cheese powder on the instruments. Finally the clown story. Very curios title but we don’t get to it this week, so it shall remain a mystery... forever! Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Sick of politics in your news? A giant rubber ducky is accused of being a counterfeit, and the manliest man mows his lawn in a tornado. This week Rygar is back and he’s brought a special guest: funny-man EZ. Offroad and Borg are also here as usual, as we reminisce of a simpler time, a time before irony, when sincerity still existed: the 1960s batman television show. Remember Bugles: snack or cereal? Is this another one of those Mandela effects? We geek out a little on fonts, Run-DMC track suits, and we speculate about the common law of “First-ies”. This episode is in 3D sound (ambisonics and binaural audio). Listen as you normally would with normal speakers or headphones. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Robot Pizza Van - Now in 3D Audio! Just listen like you normally do on regular speakers or headphones. We're using ambisonics (stereo is left-and-right, surround sound adds forward-and-back, ambisonics adds up-and-down) and binaural audio (takes the shape of your head into account?? Binaural audio is best experienced with headphones but still great on speakers). Now you can pay a robot to callback the robots that call you. An AI called me on the phone to sell me something. It was a real life Turing test. Janelle Shane, used a neural network to come up with goofy names for paint colors based on input from Sherwin-Williams paint chips. The same neural network went on to create new names for 1980s action figures. We enumerate examples of real action figures including He Man, GI Joe, Evel Knievil, Charles Mingus? Emotional singers don’t really want to sing but they can’t help it, that’s why the pained expression. A little slam poetry, and then an update on that speech synthesis engine. And finally, we close on the slow-motion scene of clowns, exiting a tiny car, followed by sheep (because they smell cotton candy). Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Borg and Offroad discover a ninja shortage in Japan. There’s a huge tourist demand but there aren’t enough Ninjas in supply. Maybe it’s not a shortage, maybe they’re really good at Ninja-ing and no one can find them. We also learn about the dangers of clowning, mimes, robot dancers, Bozo of the clowns and SantaCon- where thousands of drunk guys do a Santa-clad pub-crawl. The remake of Stephen King’s “It” is scheduled for September 8th, 2017 which may explain some of the uptake in creepy clown sightings. Then, 3d printed buildings. A big 3D printer drives around and can print a 50 foot dome building in 14 hours. Separately, a solar powered 3D printer that melts sand into glass sculpture. The solar printer is in the desert using the sun and the sand. Hey we should send some of these things to mars to build houses. And finally, police question a ventriloquist about what his dummy allegedly said. iTunes- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van-funny-news/id1212719431?mt=2 Leave a voicemail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com Theme song by Uncle Milk

We spend a bit of time watching a wash machine cycle (we review someone else’s review) and it’s actually one of the most fun I’ve had in a while. There’s suspense, heartache, thrills, and... cats! Here’s a little spoiler: 1600 RPMs! Lyrebird is a startup with new speech synthesis technology. They can take a one minute recording of someone’s voice and use it to generate a key which can then be used to generate speech of that person saying anything you want. The company is giving it away for free? Offroad mentions a theory that looting of stereo equipment during an LA riot helped rap/hip hop to grow. Actually, the theory is that this looting happened during a blackout in New York city in 1977. There is a caterpillar that eats plastic, on purpose. I think he likes it. There is also a quick (ha ha) story about particle accelerators. Look out for Future Shock - the idea and the Herbie Hancock song. Borg shows off his audio fading techniques (the fastest fade in the west). Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com