Robot Pizza Van, Funny News

This time on Robot Pizza Van... real life superheroes are people that put on a superhero costume and patrol the streets, protecting the innocent and righting wrongs. Just like in the comic books (a comic book is like a movie that you have to read). There's a whole bunch of people doing this all around the world. We check out some of these real life superheroes, like Squeegee Man for example, to see what the story is. We also try a new Borg segment about unusual startup companies called "Don't Get Me Started!" and look at Elon Musk's Neuralink. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Listen to some mysterious sounds with us including the bloop, the hum, and the loneliest whale. We also check out Tibetan throat singers (what else do you sing with?), spectral band replication, and helium - the funniest gas. The military put microphones into the oceans to listen for enemy submarines. Besides submarines they heard sounds that they couldn't explain (like "The Bloop"). Some of the sounds were so loud and carried so far that they must of been made by a massive creature or event. If it was a creature it would be the largest creature... ever. There's also "the Hum" which is a 'hummimg' sound that is heard in different places all over the world. No one knows for sure if it's a real sound (a machine or something) or just imagined. Not everyone can hear the hum. Then the loneliest whale is so lonely because his whale calls are a higher pitch than the others, so high in fact, that the other whales can't hear him. And If you were wondering what spectral band replication is well don't worry because Borg tells all. Oh, and there's a large cat. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

What is a sneakerhead? It's not a person with a big shoe for a head. I was really excited when that's what I thought it was. It turns out that a sneakerhead is someone who is fanatical about sneakers... for their feet. The hosts of the show - Offroad, Borg and Rygar are not shoe experts. Nonetheless, they have been extensively trained in socks, each own at least one pair of sneakers and are thus qualified to speak on the subject. This episode is meant to introduce the laymen to the wonderful world of sneaker fanaticism. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and review the show especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

There is a hotel chain that offers fish for rent to its guests. How does that work? Just kidding, I already know. Then there's a story about a tick that was on display during a presentation about the dangers of ticks, but then mysteriously disappeared to everyone's fright. Time to start a new paragraph. Why? It just feels right. The next story we read is about strawberry pizza and the Internet's feeling about it. We always have to think of how the Internet will feel. Like the golden rule says - do unto the Internet as you would have the Internet do unto you. Then it's off to the fashion world as we look at the double jean. It's like wearing one pair of jeans real low on top of another pair of jeans. And, I don't even think that it's two separate pants. I think it's fake like those fake pockets that look like pockets but I try to put my hands in them and it turns out its just a seam in the shape of a pocket opening and my fingers curl up. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A San Francisco man pays to live in a box, and a few different high-tech forks. There are seven million, nine hundred and ninety-eight stories in the naked city, besides these two. The rent in San Francisco is pretty high but how much do you think it would cost to live in a box? Then we look at several different high-tech forks including a noise canceling fork, a salt flavored fork (with no salt) and the fork that buzzes you if you eat too fast. Subscribe and review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Music by Uncle Milk Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

This week a court tells us that Facebook friends are not necessarily our real friends. I was already insecure. Then Prince's sister says that purple wasn't his favorite color. Guess what color it was? No, guess again. Ok... tell you what. Just listen to the show and I'll tell you then. We also chit chat about pool, ping pong and recreational tables in general. Nobody has room for a ping pong table. You make room. It's a lifestyle. The ping pong table makes room for you! Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A marathon takes a wrong turn, and a phone accidentally dictates an unusual tweet. Robot Pizza Van is your source for all the news that is funny or weird. During a marathon the runners who were in the lead took a wrong turn. In the meantime some other guy wins the race. Then Rygar tells us about the time he ran in a marathon and was hit in the back of the head with a tortilla. That's why I won't run in any footrace. A woman is dictating a tweet about a news article she had just read. In the middle of the tweet a friend came to her house so she paused the tweet. Little did she know that the twitter machine had not paused but in fact had continued to dictate everything that she said to her friend and broadcast that out. Can you imagine the kind of private things that might have been revealed? Imagine no more. We have the actual tweet and it will be read live, on the air. This is nothing like Al Capone's vault. I am sure that there are words inside this tweet. We look at useless websites and spirulina really is a super food. Super cool! Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Love is not a real ingredient in granola, and George Foreman challenges Steven Seagal to a fight. Join Offroad, Rygar and Borg as we consider these stories and more. Can you list "love" as an ingredient on a food products label? A small bakery thinks so but the FDA disagrees. It's all up to you to decide. George Foreman challenges Steven Seagal to a 10 round, no holds barred, fight. Included in this episode is a list of holds that are traditionally barred. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan https://www.facebook.com/robotpizzavan/ http://www.robotpizzavan.com Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

We search high and low to bring you the news stories that won't keep you awake at night. It was hard to find, but these are all of the stories from the entire internet this week, all the stories that don't involve politics, religion or anything else that generally excite people: Man sneaks snakes in his socks, fish are falling from the sky, and a monkey that took a picture of himself. That's all of them A man is caught at the Canadian border smuggling albino Western Hog-nose snakes in his socks. Robot Pizza Van has covered other stories of snake smuggling and assumes the reptile market to be lucrative. In a Mexican town fish have reportedly rained down in the streets during an otherwise normal rainstorm. Scientist say that the cause is a tornado that has sucked up a bunch of fish and rained them down miles away. Finally, a monkey took a selfie and now Peta has sued the human photographer on behalf of the monkey. Can an animal hold a copyright? Don't answer, I can't hear you right now. Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com www.robotpizzavan.com

Time for weird, unimportant news. You know on the news when they have that one story that's not serious... the 'human interest' story... the fluff piece. Well that's all we do. The stories today are: A bathroom's plumbing is clogged with money, Velcro wants you to stop calling it Velcro, a squeaky boy and more weird eBay items. Several bathrooms' "plumbing" have been found clogged with 500 euro bills that have been cut-up into tiny pieces. Why? I don't know. Then Velcro wants us to stop using the word Velcro as a verb, example: to Velcro something. They're worried about us using the word Velcro this way, like we did with Kleenex and band aide. If we do this too much then they could lose their brand name. They made a goofy music video to promote the idea and we watch it. Very catchy. Finally, we watch the video of a boy who's swallowed the whistle piece from a pet's squeaky toy. Is it funny... or is it sad? The boy end up ok. Does that help? Then we continue a story from a past episode of the Robot Pizza Van: More unusual items being sold on eBay. They're food items that are shaped oddly. For example: a Cheeto that is shaped like a bald eagle. How much would you pay for such an item? I can get you a good deal. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan We're on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/robotpizzavan/ Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Here's the news that doesn't matter. It's not important or relevant. Today a man eats a black widow at the Halloween job fair. Then scientist have made a spider web as strong as steel. Finally, we're seeing more brain-like blobs around. I wonder why. A man attends a job fair at the local Halloween haunt. To impress and maybe land himself a job, he eats the poisonous black widow spider that he has brought along for the job interview. Very professional. Don't worry. He has learned from his mistakes and carries black widow anti-venom in case he gets bitten... again. Scientists have encouraged a spider to spin web that is as strong as steel. Imagine a group of scientists encouraging the cute little spider. "You can do it!" and "We believe in you little spiddey!" Brain-like blobs are generally found in certain areas. We've been finding them lately in unexpected places. I hate to find brain-like blobs when I'm not expecting it. Brain-like? They only look like brains. Each football sized blob is a colony of tiny zoids. What do they want? What does anybody want? Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe and review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan We're on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/robotpizzavan/ Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

Listen to us talk as we watch some of the Air Guitar World Championship. We also look at a study that says intelligent people swear. Dang! We watch this year's 22nd Annual Air Guitar World Championship. That means they've done this 21 times already. Find out what it takes to win the title. This year it was held in Finland. Iceland is green and Greenland has ice. Finland has... A study done at the University of Rochester shows that intelligent people swear more. It also shows other habits that seem to correlate. Correlation does not mean causation... or does it! Music by Uncle Milk Give us a review on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A famous author's unpublished works have been crushed by a steamroller, and the library asks that you stop paying late book fines with Chuck E Cheese tokens. At first these two stories seem unrelated and later they will seem even less related. We start with the news about Chuck E Cheese. We learn not only that a Massachusetts library is requesting that late book fees NOT be paid with Chuck E Cheese tokens, but the Chuck E Cheese Animatronic Band is breaking up! Two devastating blows to Mr. Cheese. Then its off to a friend of the late Terry Pratchett, who is fulfilling the late author's wishes. His wish? To have his hard-drive crushed by a steamroller after his death. This would prevent anyone from publishing any of his unpublished or unfinished work. And the steamroller in this story has a name! Someone named it! Oh, and Google home makes a short cameo appearance as the talking household internet device. Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

What is a Whoppercoin and how do I get one? Where has Rygar been? Do people really register their hands as lethal weapons? Ok, so you've got a lot of questions. Well, gather around and I'll tell you a tale. A story of the time when Offroad, Borg and Rygar talked into microphones one summer day. To answer those questions - WhopperCoin is a cryptocurrency created by Burger King, Rygar was at the McGregor vs. Mayweather weigh-in, and no... as far as I can tell no one is required or able to register their hands as a lethal weapon. I guess there's no point in listening to this episode now that you know everything. See you next week! Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com

A bar employs monkeys as waiters, and a couple (of people) buy an exclusive street in San Francisco. If you're tired of caring about the news then join the Robot Pizza Van in our battle against important news. There is a bar in Japan that has a couple of macaque monkeys who serve drinks to customers. The monkeys learned it by watching the owner. Now they're teaching it to the next generation of monkey waiters and waitresses. A street in San Francisco forgets to pay their taxes so the city sells the street to a couple. The city kept sending warnings to the wrong address, so you see, it's all just a horrible misunderstanding. What would you do with a street of your own in a major metropolitan area? Music by Uncle Milk Subscribe, rate and review especially on iTunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/robot-pizza-van/id1212719431?mt=2 or Soundcloud - https://soundcloud.com/robotpizzavan Call and leave a voice mail at 510-629-1233 or email us at robotpizzavan@gmail.com