HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS show

HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

Summary: HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS addresses the many dilemmas facing parents, couples and kids, offering out of the box solutions that empower listeners to confidently meet their parenting challenges. Being a family in our era is challenging under the best of circumstances. Parents contend with a culture in transition and competing ideas for parenting. Neil Brown, author of parenting hit “Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle,” is a master family therapist with a talent for providing clarity amidst the confusion, addressing common concerns as well as serious problems.

Podcasts:

 Teach Your Teenagers How to Argue | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:13:22

In this episode Neil responds to a mother whose 14 year old daughter argues every request and decision. Neil explains the importance of teaching healthy arguing skills and even gives this Mom a way to turn things around with her daughter. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Choose The New Year’s Resolution That Won’t Fail | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:08:22

In this episode Neil explains why New Year’s Resolutions so often fail and how to create one that won’t fail. You’ll learn how looking at ourselves through a negative and critical lens is rooted in our childhoods and how to change to see ourselves in a healthy way, how to act in more self-valuing ways, and how to make a healthy New Year’s Resolution. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Create a Successful Holiday Break with your Kids | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:11:04

In this episode Neil addresses the challenge of kids being unproductive with their time over the holiday break. Too often kids will quickly fill unstructured time with activities on their electronic devices and fighting that can be a source of parental frustration. Neil stresses the importance of teaching kids to use their time well and helps parents set up a planning session with their children and teenagers. He encourages listeners to teach and reinforce personal development to their children and teens and Neil shares a quote from one of his clients, “Parenting is the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification.” Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 The 3 Stage Journey from Childhood to Adulthood | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:24:50

In this episode Neil helps the listener see adolescence as a journey with three distinct stages. He describes the developmental tasks of each stage and key parenting objectives and reminds us that young adulthood is the final stage of adolescence. Neil challenges the listener to see adolescents, who are making mistakes or struggling, as needing us and to suspend judgment and help them feel worthwhile and important. Even when setting limits or withholding privileges, we can let them know that it’s a journey and that we want to support them in making it a successful one. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Kids Need Emotional Regulation Skills | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:14:56

In this episode Neil responds to a mother struggling with her son whose only way to calm himself down is by playing video games. When parents take his Internet access away, he can become violent. Neil sees that this youngster is struggling with an emotional dysregulation disorder and helps Mom realize the severity of the situation. He then goes on to present a path forward to ending the family Control Battle and get real help for her son. Neil offers that given the severity of the problem, if her son remains violent, that residential treatment should be considered. Neil challenges all of us to examine our emotional regulation skills and how well we’re teaching these skills to our children. Neil offers a family exercise to help everyone become more connected to themselves and each other. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 I’m Depressed Thinking About Thanksgiving | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:11:32

In this episode Neil responds to a mother concerned that she’s going to be doing a lot of cooking and entertaining on Thanksgiving, with no family support from her husband or teenagers. Neil uses this mother’s dilemma as an opportunity to help her bring “Team Family” together to make a special day for everyone. In the process Mom learns how to go from a model of supporting and serving to a model of empowerment and leadership. Neil ends with a challenge to all of us to examine the message we’re giving our teenagers. Are we letting them know they’re important and that we need them? Neil invites the listener to ask a teenager for help, and in so doing, gives them the right message. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Our Daughter’s Anxiety is Running the Family | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:15:06

In this episode, Neil responds to mother whose 14 year-old daughter suffers from anxiety, yet won’t cooperate with treatment. Parents feel handcuffed setting limits because their daughter gets all A’s in school and they don’t want to add to her stress. Neil identifies the family control battle and offers critical steps the parents can take now. Neil reviews the many sources of stress plaguing teenagers today and challenges us all to look at the ways we avoid addressing critical issues with our kids and reminds us that our teens need us to be positive empowered parents. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 The Link Between Bullying, Domestic Violence, and Sexual Harassment | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:12:55

In this episode, Neil relates a coincidence of sitting next to and talking with a psychologist who is an expert in bullying behavior on a plane flight and he relays her message of the importance of secure attachment to healthy empathic behavior in children and teens. Neil then looks at the link between bullying and what often goes on to be sexual harassment in the workplace and domestic violence. Neil looks at how we have to address these issues at every level of our culture, from family culture to school, workplace and political culture. And finally, Neil ends the show with an emphasis on the importance of growing empathy in our culture and how a strong value on empathy would affect every level of our society. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Bullying in middle schools today | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:27:04

In this episode, Neil interviews Dr. Valerie Quandt, Principal of Jordan Middle School in Palo Alto California, on the subject of bullying in middle schools. Dr. Quandt offers her insight into the changes in bullying behavior from the hallways to the social apps. and her awareness of the effect of the changes in the political tone on bullying behavior. The discussion includes who is most vulnerable to bullying or being bullied, what the schools are doing about it, and important steps all parents need to take now. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 I’m talking, but nobody’s listening! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:20:37

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother’s frustration that telling her 21 year old and her 16 year old daughters what she expects is getting her no place. In this episode, Neil helps her find her voice and the self-respect to use it. Neil explains the importance of kids respecting their parents in order to develop self-respect. He reflects on the frequent societal norm of girls and women not being raised to expect their voices to be heard and respected, and he invites listeners to believe in the importance of their voices. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Are My Kids Being Bullied? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:16:50

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother’s concern that her kids don’t have friends. She worries that they are being bullied as she was in school. Neil uses this mother’s question as an opportunity to kick off Bullying Awareness Month. Neil takes a look at what bullying is, where it is, who gets bullied, who bullies, and how we can start to deal with it. He explains that empowered kids are the least likely to bully or be bullied. Neil invites the listener to review their own values and ask if they include respect and support for everyone in the home. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Sibling Relationships Matter | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:17:12

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother’s concern that her kids are constantly fighting and being mean to each other. She doesn’t want to referee the fights, but she wants things to change. Neil talks about the critical nature of sibling relationships and how to establish values and behaviors that children and teens will honor. Neil invites listeners to examine whether they are asking enough of their children and teens and challenges everyone to empower their parenting. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 It’s Time To Move From Surviving To Thriving | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:17:08

In this episode, Neil responds to a mother who struggles parenting her 8 yr. old and is riddled with guilt and anxiety. Neil helps this Mom understand the role that childhood trauma and abuse is playing in her life, and how to shift out of survival mode, to a place of health and recovery. In this dynamic podcast, Neil invites the listener to examine how they were “programmed” in childhood and invites them to “upgrade their program”. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Achieve Emotional Intimacy by Meeting Emotional Needs | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:18:22

In this episode, Neil responds to mother who feels no one in her family is getting their emotional needs met. Neil offers the listener a deep understanding of emotional needs, and why many people don’t get theirs met or know how to meet the needs of others. Neil offers some powerful tools for addressing emotional needs even under the most difficult circumstances and he includes some realistic scenarios as well. Neil ends the podcast with a challenge for all of us to focus on and provide validation to others, and then write and let him know what happens. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Be yourself, save your family? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:12:58

In this episode, Neil responds to a question from a mother struggling in control battles with several kids at the same time. Neil cautions this mother about her likely parental burnout and offers her a new path forward. Neil explains the difference between being “other-person oriented” and “self-oriented” and how the former invites resistance and the latter invites healthy child and adolescent development. Neil explains how and why self-orientation is a positive personal quality distinct from selfishness and self-centeredness, which are negative personal qualities. Neil role-plays examples of the differences in approache that might just sound painfully familiar. Neil ends with a challenge to all of us to look inward and ask ourselves where we are other-person oriented and where we are self-oriented and to work to become more self-oriented selves. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

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