HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS show

HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS

Summary: HEALTHY FAMILY CONNECTIONS addresses the many dilemmas facing parents, couples and kids, offering out of the box solutions that empower listeners to confidently meet their parenting challenges. Being a family in our era is challenging under the best of circumstances. Parents contend with a culture in transition and competing ideas for parenting. Neil Brown, author of parenting hit “Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle,” is a master family therapist with a talent for providing clarity amidst the confusion, addressing common concerns as well as serious problems.

Podcasts:

 The Truth About Youth and Marijuana Today | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:42:50

In this episode Neil Interviews Amy Rose, a substance abuse treatment professional of Recovery Happens Counseling Services. In this interview, they discuss the issue of potency in modern cannabis and the serious impact it’s having on youth functioning, among them being addiction and impaired neurodevelopment. Vaping, the newest form of ingestion allows the user to consume extraordinarily high doses of THC leaving odorless vapor and using a harmless looking vaping device. It’s critical for parents to be informed and not confuse the less potent and less dangerous marijuana of their youth with the potent and dangerous varieties of today. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Why Doesn’t My Brilliant Son Care? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:13:47

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom who is beyond frustrated with her gifted son. While he gets good grades and an invitation to apply to an Ivy League College, he seems indifferent and doesn’t keep agreements. Mom wonders if he is on the autism spectrum or has oppositional defiant disorder. Neil explains how gifted youth are often not sufficiently challenged and can miss out on developing a “Growth Mindset”, a vital element in personal success and happiness. Neil shows this Mom how their Control Battle based relationship is bringing out the worst in both of them. Mom’s frustration and anger is interfering in her ability to understand her son’s issues and parent him effectively. Neil gives Mom a plan to improve things before her son goes off to college and challenges listeners to ask themselves if they are using a tone with their children, teens, or even their spouses, that is both safe and positive. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Are We Dumbing Down Our Expectations? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:17:17

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad who has given his son permission to smoke marijuana and drink, if it’s not to often, not too much, and not when driving. Neil helps Dad see that this poor decision was made in a Control Battle based relationship that has left parents disempowered and burned out. Neil reminds Dad of the vital developmental tasks taking place during adolescence and gives Dad a way to get back on track. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 My Failure to Launch Son | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:16:41

In this episode Neil responds to the mother of a 20 year old son with social anxiety living at home, not working or going to school who spends most of his time in his room playing video games. Mom is wondering if she needs to kick him out and change the locks. Neil helps this Mom see the Control Battle she is in with her son and supports her in reclaiming a healthy vision of him while setting limits in a healthy manner. Neil role-plays a Control Battle Ending Conversation she can have and recommends intensive therapeutic resources that can get this young man the therapeutic support he needs. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 My Teen Daughter Doesn’t Like to Socialize | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:13:18

In this episode Neil responds to the mother of a 10th grade girl who does well in most areas, but doesn’t pursue friendships and doesn’t like to challenger herself. Her favorite thing is being at home and playing with her brothers and her parents. Neil explains that kids develop in different ways and at different times and reassures this mother that her daughter is healthy and on her own developmental path. Neil addresses the issue of parenting information overload perhaps making parents overly stressed when their child or teen is unique in some way and Neil cautions against the tendency to focus on areas of relative weakness rather than on areas of strength. Neil provides this Mom with lots of good ideas to help her daughter continue to grow and thrive. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 My Teen Daughter Says She Hates Me | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:13:41

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a young teen girl who blames her for everything and when she gets mad says, “I hate you”. Mom and Dad’s best efforts to help her calm down, feel loved and get perspective haven’t worked and they’re wondering what to do. Neil explains how the temperamental differences between the parents and their daughter are interfering in their ability to offer support and accountability to parental standards to their daughter. Neil shows this mother and listeners how to match an intense child or teenager’s emotional level in a positive way to reestablish accountability. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Should I Push my Anxious and Fragile Son to Try Harder? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:13:43

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a 17 year old teen who has been suffering from GAD or generalized anxiety disorder for several years. He’s has lots of professional resources but hasn’t gotten better and now he has no friends and doesn’t talk in school at all. Mother’s question is whether or not she should require him to go to Adolescent Therapy Group or not, since he doesn’t want to go and is fragile. Neil helps this mother understand that their 17 year old and his parents are in a Control Battle, albeit a passive one, where parents are trying to get their son to move forward, and the son is avoiding and trying to stay in his comfort zone. Neil offers several things the parents can do to immediately effect change. Neil Challenges the listeners to understand and remember that chronic problems with children and teens always exist in a family context and if you want the behavior to change, the family pattern will need to change. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 I’m Terrified That My Son Is Losing His Way | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:17:49

In this episode Neil responds to a mother of a 15 year old teen who stopped caring about his school work and is hanging around with a kid who is exposing him to marijuana. Mom feels helpless and desperate. Neil identifies this mother’s disempowered attitude and her parental burnout as contributing factors. Neil offers several actions Mom can take and role-plays a talk she can have with her son. Neil ends the podcast by challenging the listener to be aware of disempowering themselves and he offers the Alice Walker quote: “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Time to Switch from Consequences to Privileges | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:12:21

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad whose son says removing his privileges is just a form of punishment. Neil explains the concept of earned privileges and how it teaches and encourages children and teenagers to develop personal responsibility, an empowering skill necessary for happiness and success. Neil then answers this Dad’s question directly and gives him a strategy to talk with his son and effectively switch from consequences to earned privileges. Neil ends by challenging listeners to get out of the rut of giving ineffective consequences and shifting to the model of Earned Privileges. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 The Unique Challenges of Families In Transition | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:21:31

In this episode Neil talks with Clinical and Educational Psychologist Mark Burdick. Mark specializes in evaluations and placements for adolescents and young adults who require greater support in settings such as wilderness programs, residential treatment and recovery programs. In this episode, Neil and Mark discuss the challenges of families living abroad or in new locations as well as some of the ways to address their increased need for support. Neil challenges listeners to be mindful if their extra need for support if they are relocated or to support someone they know who is new to an area. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 My Rude and Demanding Daughter | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:09:12

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom with a rude and demanding 13 year-old daughter. Mom feels guilty because she’s been yelling when she gets to the end of her rope. Now she doesn’t know how to respond when she goes to set limits and her daughter, and her daughter points out that Mom’s behavior is just as bad as hers. Neil explains and demonstrates use of “The Talk” as a method to shift out of an old unhealthy pattern into a new and healthy one. By helping Mom take responsibility for her own behavior and making amends, she can now require her daughter to take responsibility for hers. Neil challenges listeners to examine the question of whether we are doing too much for our kids and then being resentful when they take advantage of that. Neil challenges listeners to always require our teenagers’ best. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Why Isn’t My Son Happy? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:14:20

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad concerned that his young adult son isn’t happy. Neil looks at how Control Battles can develop when parents over-focus on making their sons and daughters happy. He engages a discussion on the subject of happiness; where it comes from and how to raise our children and teenagers to live happy fulfilling lives. Neil challenges listeners to examine the question of whether we, as a culture are over focused on happiness. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 My Husband Undermines My Parenting | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:11:36

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom struggling in a Control Battle with her teenagers and her husband. She wants high standards for her kids while her husband thinks it she should back off. Neil explains that control battles can be complex and can be thought of as choreography, and he gives an example of a family pattern that is likely going on with them. He then helps this Mom find a way to change her participation in the pattern and have her expectations taken seriously. Neil challenges listeners to examine the ways they may be dis-empowering themselves and to bring their best selves to their lives. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Is My Son Addicted to Video Games? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:16:31

In this episode Neil responds to a Mom who wants to know if her son is addicted to video games. Neil explains the inherent addictive nature of games and gives some guidelines for managing games and identifying addiction. Neil encourages parents to start early teaching self-management skills to kids and offers a way to intervene when gaming is getting the upper hand on the teen and the family. Neil challenges listeners to take the risk of over involvement with devices seriously and to not allow them take us over. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

 Will My Teenager Be A Successful Adult? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 00:09:55

In this episode Neil responds to a Dad who is concerned that his special needs son will grow up to be a hermit. Neil explains the importance of holding a healthy vision of his son by focusing on his strengths. He helps Dad out of the Parent-Teen Control Battle and puts him on a path to Empowered Teen Parenting. Neil also encourages Dad to utilize some resources for high functioning autism spectrum disordered teens. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

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