With Friends Like These

CW: Addiction, Eating Disorders, and Suicide. If you are struggling with any of these issues, please click the link in the content warning. You are loved and there is help available. This week Kiese Laymon (@KieseLaymon) joined Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox ) to have a meaningful and intimate conversation about his new book, Heavy: An American Memoir. They talked about what it’s like deal with other people’s difficult stories, as well as how they cope with their own. Afterwards, they connected the concept of the body to struggles that we face internally with our own issues and externally with political and social issues. They ended with the idea, that despite the heavy things we face, we have the ability to learn to love ourselves and others. Thanks the our sponsors! Ritual Essential for Women fills the gaps in a woman’s diet, all with a fresh minty flavor, and no fishy aftertaste. Whether you’re living life—or creating it—why not add some good looking science into your daily routine? Visit ritual.com/FRIENDS to start your ritual today. Framebridge makes it ridiculously easy and affordable to custom frame your favorite things, from art prints and posters to the photos on your phone. Here’s how it works: Just go to Framebridge.com and upload your photo. Or, they’ll send you packaging to safely mail in your physical pieces. Use promo code FRIENDS you’ll save an additional 15% off your first order. Brooklinen works directly with manufacturers and directly with customers, no middlemen – meaning they can give you 5-star hotel quality sheets that are affordable and easy to order. Get $20 off AND free shipping when you use promo code friends at Brooklinen.com. Stamps.com brings all the services of the U.S. Post Office right to your desktop. enjoy the Stamps.com service with a special offer that includes a 4-week trial PLUS postage AND a digital scale without long-term commitments. Go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in FRIENDS Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

CW: Sexual Assault. If you are struggling with sexual assault, there is help available. Please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 This week Diana Butler Bass (@dianabutlerbass) joined host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to talk about gratefulness, and the contradictions that ensue. They asked what it means to celebrate Thanksgiving, when you’re on stolen land. Afterwards, they talked about being grateful when there appears to be nothing to be grateful for, especially in the face of injustice. Finally, they made a distinction between optimism and hopefulness, attempting to change the paradigm on what effective gratitude looks like. Thanks to our sponsors! To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace.com/WFLT, and use the code WFLT to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service that finds and delivers clothes, shoes, and accessories to fit your body, budget, and lifestyle. Get started NOW at StitchFix.com/FRIENDS and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box! ExpressVPN secures and anonymizes your internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public IP address. To take back your Internet privacy TODAY and find out how you can get 3 months free, go toEXPRESSVPN.com/FRIENDS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) sat down with Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) to talk about the 2018 Midterms. They began with a broader analysis of the Blue Wave that narrowed down into a discussion about Florida, Georgia, and voter suppression. They moved onto what they struggled with in the election, and what will happen next in terms of the White House, investigations, and potential policy.  Thanks to our sponsors! To listen on Spotify, just open the app, tap search, type in your favorite show name, and get streaming. Download the free app today and start listening to podcasts on Spotify. With Squarespace, the power is in your hands to really make your website your own. You can customize the look and feel, settings, products, and more with just a few clicks. Head to Squarespace.com/FRIENDS for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code FRIENDS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. With Stamps.com you can access all the amazing services of the Post Office, right from your desk, 24/7, when it’s convenient for YOU. Buy and print official U.S. postage for ANY letter, ANY package using your own computer & printer, and the mail carrier picks it up. Right Now- use FRIENDS for this SPECIAL OFFER, which includes up to $55 Free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Policygenius is the easy way to get life insurance online. In just two minutes you can compare quotes from the top insurers to find the best policy for you. Just go to Policygenius.com, get your quotes, and apply in minutes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Rebecca Traister (@rtraister) joined host Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) to recap the 2018 midterm elections, and the work that led up to them. They began with a conversation on the demographic of White women and their voting patterns. They went into the history of why White women continually vote conservative, and the changes that were made this election to reach out to other marginalized and often disenfranchised communities. Finally, they talked about the work of intersectional feminist coalitions that were often devalued, and the importance of the diverse candidates who won. Thank you to our sponsors! ThirdLove designs its bras with breast size and shape in mind, using thousands of real women’s measurements, so that they fit perfectly and feel even better. Go to thirdlove.com/FRIENDS now to find your perfect-fitting bra… and get 15% off your first purchase! With just a few taps on your phone, Framebridge lets you create a one-of-a-kind gift that will win Christmas and make someone happy for years to come. Go to Framebridge.com and use promo code FRIENDS you’ll save an additional 15% off your first order. Everlane only makes premium essentials for men and women, using the finest materials, without traditional markups. And they tell you their real costs, so you know you’re never overpaying. Go to Everlane.com/FRIENDS and you’ll get free shipping on your first order. The Front Runner is based on the shocking true events that changed the path of a nation. Oscar-Nominee Hugh Jackman plays Gary Hart, the charismatic politician and overwhelming front runner for the 1988 Presidential election.  Get involved and get your tickets to see The Front Runner. Text FRONT RUNNER to 26797. Message and data rates may apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) talked with journalist Eli Saslow (@elisaslow) and Derek Black (@RDerekBlack) about Derek Black’s transformation from a white nationalist to an antiracist activist. They began with current news and what Trump means for the rise of white nationalism into everyday life. Derek then talked about his background growing up as a white nationalist, and what it took for him to change his ideology. They continued with mistakes made by the media and within American culture that contributed to the normalization of white supremacy. They ended with a discussion of what it takes to change someone’s mind, and a sense of hope that it is possible. Thanks to our sponsors! This episode of With Friends Like These is brought to you by Ritual. Whether you’re living life—or creating it—why not add some good looking science into your daily routine? Visit ritual.com/ FRIENDS to start your ritual today With Stamps.com you can access all the amazing services of the Post Office, right from your desk, 24/7, when it’s convenient for YOU. Go to Stamps.com, before you do anything else, click on the Radio Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in FRIENDS. With Friends Like These is brought to you by the upcoming film The Front Runner, from Oscar-nominated director Jason Reitman who brought us Thank You For Smoking, Juno, and Up In The Air. Two things to do November 6th—vote! And see The Front Runner. Text FRONT RUNNER to 26797 to find your nearest polling place and buy your tickets to see The Front Runner. Most bedding is marked up as much as 300%. But by taking the middleman out of the equation and delivering directly to the customer, Brooklinen is able to give you luxury sheets without that luxury markup. Get $20 off AND free shipping when you use promo code [friends] at Brooklinen.com. Whatever you love to do, there’s a pair of Bombas that’ll add comfort to your life as you do it. They were created for runners, power walkers, power loungers, low-key fashionistas, snowboarders, business sharks, business casual sharks, people who prefer the outdoors, Netflix-and-chill-ers, and overall lovers of everyday comfort. If you go to bombas.com/FRIENDS and enter FRIENDS at checkout you’ll get 20% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week’s two part episode, Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) interviews Karamo Brown (@KaramoBrown) and Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy).  Karamo and Ana talked about his work on Queer Eye, mental health, and what it means to be different in today’s society.  Parker and Ana began with a conversation on the recent memo about legal status of Trans people released by the Trump administration. They moved onto what identity means to them, and what the term identity politics has come to mean. They closed by talking about the future of rights for the Trans population worldwide.  Content Warning: Suicide. If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal ideation, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline either online or at 1-800-273-8255, or The Trevor Project online or at 1-866-488-7386. It’s never too late to reach out for help.  Thanks to our sponsors! TripActions takes the pain out of corporate travel management with a complete solution that helps businesses SAVE and keeps employees happy. Go to TripActions.com/FRIENDS, attend a 30-minute demo, and you’ll get a hundred dollar Amazon gift card. Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service that finds and delivers clothes, shoes, and accessories to fit your body, budget, and lifestyle. Get started NOW at StitchFix.com/FRIENDS and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box! Today’s show is sponsored by Talkspace, the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere, at anytime. All you need is a computer with Internet connection, or the Talkspace mobile app. That means you can improve your mental health even if you’ve had trouble making time for it in the past. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to Talkspace.com/WFLT, and use the code WFLT to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show. No more sorting through the wrong resumes. No more waiting for the right candidates to apply. try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at this exclusive web address: ZipRecruiter.com/friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Heather Havrilesky (@hhavrilesky) joined Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox ) to talk about her new book, her career, and politics. They began by discussing what 2016 meant personally and politically, and transitioned into a conversation about how feminism has changed in the era of Trump and the MeToo Movement. They ended by talking about their hopes for the 2018 midterm elections. Thanks to our sponsors! Listening to audiobooks inspires us, motivates us, even brings us closer. And there’s no better place to listen, than Audible. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. Try it free for 30 days by visiting audible.com/friends or by texting FRIENDS to 500500. Third Love designs its bras with breast size and shape in mind, using thousands of real women’s measurements, so that they fit perfectly and feel even better. With cup sizes ranging from A through H and bands up to 48, Third Love has the most sizes of any brand. Get 15% off your first purchase by going to thirdlove.com/friends. With Stamps.com you can access all the amazing services of the Post Office, right from your desk, 24/7, when it’s convenient for YOU. Buy and print official U.S. postage for ANY letter, ANY package using your own computer & printer – and the mail carrier picks it up. Get up to $55 Free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial by going to Stamps.com, and entering FRIENDS.  Grove.co is where you’ll find the best home and personal care products online, because Grove believes a healthy, beautiful home should be accessible to everyone. Every product at Grove has been rigorously tested for health, effectiveness, and environmental impact. Try Grove with a two-month VIP membership and bonus gift by going to Grove.co/FRIENDS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) sat down with Disability Rights Activist Alice Wong (@SFdirewolf) to talk about what ableism looks like today and responses from the disabled activist community. They began with a discussion on language and how being disabled is perceived. They moved onto how the modern political landscape affects people who are disabled, and what Trump and Kavanaugh mean for healthcare decisions. Wong ended with a call to action and hope. Interested in Alice Wong’s work? Preorder her new book on Amazon. Thanks to our sponsors: Listening to audiobooks inspires us, motivates us, even brings us closer. And there’s no better place to listen, than Audible. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. And now, Audible members get more than ever before: each month they get 3 titles of their choice; 1 audiobook, 2 Audible Originals, and fitness programs that they can’t get anywhere else. Try it for free by visiting audible.com/friends or text friends to 500500 to start your 30 day free trial. Third Love designs its bras with breast size and shape in mind, using thousands of real women’s measurements, so that they fit perfectly and feel even better. With cup sizes ranging from A through H and bands up to 48, Third Love has the most sizes of any brand. Just find your fit, order, and try it on at home. If you don’t love your bra, returns and exchanges are free and easy. Go to thirdlove.com/friends for 15% off your first order. With Stamps.com you can access all the amazing services of the Post Office, right from your desk, 24/7, when it’s convenient for YOU. Buy and print official U.S. postage for ANY letter, ANY package using your own computer & printer – and the mail carrier picks it up. Use promo code friends for up to $55 Free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Grove.co is where you’ll find the best home and personal care products online, because Grove believes a healthy, beautiful home should be accessible to everyone. Every product at Grove has been rigorously tested for health, effectiveness, and environmental impact. Grove selects only the best non-toxic products that are good for you, your family, and your planet. Go to grove.co/friends to try a two-month VIP membership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) sat down with author and Council of Foreign Relations fellow Max Boot (@MaxBoot). Max Boot described his reasons for leaving the Republican party. He mentioned the issues of Trump, as well as the deeper problems within the Conservative movement itself. Next, they talked about how identity plays into politics, and why as a Jew and an immigrant Boot could no longer be a part of his former party due to their treatment of minorities. They ended with a discussion on what was next for the Republican party, and what needs to happen in order for American politics to no longer move towards extremism. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email the show at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com. Thank you to our sponsors! Go to ubiome.com/friends to order a quick and easy at-home test that screens for microbes associated with IBS, IBD, pre-diabetes, and many other chronic conditions. Brooklinen gives you luxury sheets without that luxury markup. Visit brooklinen.com for sheets that don’t just feel great, but look great too. Use promo code FRIENDS for a special deal on shipping. There's a battle going on with the future of the internet and your right to privacy. ExpressVPN secures and anonymizes your internet browsing by encrypting your data and hiding your public IP address. Visit expressvpn.com/friends to keep hackers and spies from seeing your data. Framebridge makes it super easy and affordable to frame your favorite things, from art prints and posters to the travel photos sitting on your phone. Instead of the hundreds you’d pay at a framing store, their prices start at $39 and ALL shipping is FREE. Plus listeners will get 15% off their first order at Framebrige.com when they use my code FRIENDS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TW: Sexual Assault If you’re not in a place where it’s ok to think about sexual assault, come back when you are! And if you have ever experienced sexual violence, you are not alone. If you’re ready to talk to someone about it, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or contact the Rape Abuse Incest National Network at online.rainn.org. This week Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) sat down with Republican writer Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson). They delved into the recent testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and the reactions from people across the country. The conversation shifted to the relationship between Democrats and Republicans and mistrust and miscommunication between the parties. They also discussed the women who have come forward with their own personal stories and the culture of sexual assault within this country. They ended by predicting the results of the confirmation and the future of the GOP’s message and direction. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email the show at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com. Thanks to our sponsors! Go to ubiome.com/friends to order a quick and easy at-home test that screens for microbes associated with IBS, IBD, pre-diabetes, and many other chronic conditions. Visit QUIP.com/FRIENDS to order a a better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers and get your first refill pack for free. Head over to stichfitch.com/friends for a new online personal styling service and you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all 5 items in your box! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Ana (@anamariecox) sat down with Travon Free (@Travon), the star of the new HBO show Him or Her. They started things off by delving into the show’s premise: it’s largely based on Travon’s dating experiences as a black, bisexual male in America. That transitioned to a conversation about the importance of representation, something personal to Travon specifically because he hasn’t ever seen himself represented in popular movies or tv shows. Ana then shifted the conversation, asking Travon about his journey to realizing and accepting his sexuality. Growing up in a conservative Christian church made things more difficult, and eventually led him to stop attending and eventually led him to stop attending before adopting a new approach. Toward the close of the show, Travon continued on, and explained the ways he’s found acceptance of his sexuality later in life. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email the show at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out CBS’ Murphy Brown, returning to the air Thursday, September 27th. Go to stamps.com, click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and enter FRIENDS for up to $55 Free postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. Head to everlane.com/friends to check out Ana’s personalized selection and get free shipping on your first order. Visit squarespace.com/friends for a free trial and use the offer code FRIENDS when you’re ready to launch for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Princeton University professor Robert Wuthnow (@RobertWuthnow), author of the book The Left Behind: Decline and Rage in Rural America, joined Ana (@anamariecox) this week to talk about his research. He and Ana began by exploring common misconceptions of rural America, and how rural Americans often conceive of themselves. Although he often found a perceived sense of “we-ness” within rural communities, that dynamic broke down when people shared their true opinions about things like marriage equality or a woman’s right to choose. Although many people held similar beliefs, the group was much less homogenous than they may have thought. Ana asked Robert about how the group dynamic can change, and he explained that the boundaries of the groups get complicated, because the divide between us and them is never as obvious as people may think it is. Ana also asked whether Robert had foreseen the rise of Donald Trump (spoiler alert: he hadn’t). Yet, he wasn’t surprised that people in rural America supported a Republican, as it merely continued a pattern established by the anti-abortion movement.  Then, former Mayor of Minneapolis Betsy Hodges (@BetsyHodges) joined Ana to answer a listener question about allyship from Teresa, a listener who joined them on the line.  You can find Robert’s book here. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email the show at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com Thank you to our sponsors! Visit thirdlove.com/friends for 15% off your first order. Get clean ingredients, backed by science at ritual.com/friends. Check out framebridge.com and use promo code FRIENDS for an additional 15% off your first order. Head to sunbasket.com/friends to get $35 off your first order.​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ana (@anamariecox) sat down with Michael Arceneaux (@youngsinick), author of the New York Times bestseller I Can’t Date Jesus. Their conversation kicked off with an exploration of Michael’s experience as a queer black man, how it is inherently political, and what that means in his daily life. They then talked about his work as a writer, and why he chose to write the book he wanted to rather than one craved by editors, that would have catered to a white audience. That turned the conversation towards representation, and what it takes for a black person to succeed in traditional media, namely an ability to speak to white people. Ana and Michael also dove into how he discovered his sexuality, and the ways that lack of representation not just of gay men, but black, Latino, and Asian men made that more difficult. They finished things off by talking about Michael’s family, and the influence they have not just on who he is, but on the book itself. His mother, a devout Catholic, still has issues with his sexuality, and he explained that despite them maintaining a relationship it remains a wedge. You can find Michael’s book here. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email us at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com Thank you to our sponsors! Visit Talkspace.com/WFLT and use the code WFLT for $45 off your first month of online therapy. Check out getquip.com/friends and get your first refill pack free with a quip electric toothbrush. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week’s pod, Ana (@anamariecox) checked back in with Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) to do something different: answer questions from listeners. Their wide-ranging conversation kicked off with Ana asking Rick to put on his strategist hat, and analyze the governor’s races in Florida and Georgia, and the Senate races in Tennessee, Florida, and Texas. Ana then asked Rick how he will vote in the Florida gubernatorial election, before going deeper on how/when Never Trumpers will vote for Democrats. They then changed course, and talked about Rick’s future career prospects as well as what a Never Trumper needs to do for liberals and progressives to trust them. Rick and Ana closed things out by talking about their memories of John McCain, from the perspective of someone who worked for a pro-McCain super PAC and a journalist who covered him, and what they like about each other. Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email us at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com Thank you to our sponsors! Visit stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top and enter FRIENDS for up to $55 in free postage, a four-week trial and a free digital scale. Check out Ana’s personal collection and get free shipping on your first order at everlane.com/friends. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On this week’s pod, Ana (@anamariecox) sat down with Robin DiAngelo, author of the book White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. To kick things off, Robin explained what white fragility is, and the impact that it has not just on white people, but white progressives in particular. Ana and Robin then talked about the need for people who recognize racism’s ills not to get complacent or arrogant, but rather be actively anti-racist, and continue educating themselves. They then switched gears, and explored why white women often fail to be allies for people of color before probing the ways de facto segregation and tokenizing minorities are so deeply problematic. Ana and Robin also put forth a series of suggestions for what well-meaning white people should do when they put their foot in their mouths and say something racist.  You can find Robin’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414 Robin referenced an article she wrote, which you can find here: https://libjournal.uncg.edu/ijcp/article/viewFile/249/116 Get in touch with us on Twitter at @crooked_friends or email us at withfriendslikepod@gmail.com. Thank you to our sponsors! Visit ritual.com/friends to choose clean ingredients, backed by science. Get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box at stitchfix.com/friends. Head to framebridge.com and use the promo code “friends” for an additional 15% off your first order.​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices